Him And Her - An Odd Story

HER – DISHONESTY

Aya grunted lowly as she shut off the ringing alarm from her phone, yawning and stretching out. Then, as memories flooded back into her mind, she lowered her head and covered up her face with both her hands, shaking it. No, no, why the hell did I dream that?! I blame the anime I watched last night! That's it! That's the reason!

She slowly got up, took a shower and walked downstairs to find a breakfast prepared for her on the table. Hm, she already left, huh… sitting down, she slowly started eating as she checked some news on her phone. Before leaving the house, she went into her room and packed her backpack full.

Morning was slightly on the chilly side, causing her to re-enter the house and put on a jacket. She commuted toward the college with bus, and, about half an hour later, sat down on her usual seat in the classroom. Glancing around and fidgeting, she realized Tyson hadn't arrived yet, suddenly sighing in relief. Eh?! Ugh, what's wrong with me these days… calm down, it's just a kid! Just a kid!

She suddenly heard footsteps approaching her and her heart froze for a moment; glancing back, her eyes sank slightly as she saw that it was none other than the girl she's been hearing about a lot from a specific actor. Emma smiled and waved at her before sitting down. Aya could already guess why she was here, but said nothing and instead chose to wait.

"Ty's really a great guy, isn't he?" … I knew it. Ah, I'll humor her I guess.

"Yeah." Aya said flatly.

"You think so too?! Great! That's fantastic!!" She's like one of those side characters in crappy manga whose sole purpose is to express their joy over main girl getting with the guy. "Anyway, that's besides the point," Eh? "The reason I'm here is to tell you that his birthday is this Saturday," W-wait! No, not this flag! "Usually, Jared and I would celebrate it with him, but, this year, we'll be leaving him in your care!"

"Uh—wait, wait--"

"It's fine, you don't have to be shy about it!" Who's shy?! "For the present, hmm…" Nothing. "He's really into games and stuff. You could buy him one on the cheap side. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he'll be happy enough with you spending it with him. Good luck!"

"…" as she came, thus she left, leaving Aya with eyes wide open. Wait, didn't I already ask him to come to the symposium this Saturday?! Didn't he basically already accept it?! Just w-what…

HIM – DEFINITELY NOT A MOMENT

Tyson overslept slightly and arrived five minutes late. Jared and Emma greeted him oddly, but he didn't think much of it. It was already Wednesday, and his birthday was almost here. Yesterday, without even realizing it, he sort of accepted Aya's invitation, although he was pretty sure she didn't know it was his birthday this Saturday. Eh, may as well… it's not like birthdays with Emma and Jared were that happy…

As they only had two classes, the day ended at 1:00 P.M., and Aya quickly came over to his seat, waiting for him to pack. Emma and Jared were long gone, and strange atmosphere around Aya worried Tyson slightly.

"What's up?" he asked as the two left the classroom.

"Your beloved Emma handed you over to me this Saturday." Aya said plainly.

"… she told you it was my birthday?" Tyson asked. "When?"

"This morning."

"So you didn't know yesterday?"

"Nope."

"Wanna celebrate it with me then?" Tyson asked.

"Sure, why not." Aya said. "We've already made plans anyway."

"I'll probably be the first person to celebrate a birthday with an alien. It's truly an honor."

"I'll wear a really skimpy outfit," Aya said. "Try not to blush."

"You? A skimpy outfit? Do you even know what qualifies as one?"

"Mini-skirts, right?" Aya asked.

"… no, but that'd be strangely hot."

"Wow, fetish city over here."

"Sorry, I don't have a fetish about aliens," Tyson said, shaking his head. Something else is off… she's usually more open… "However, if you want, I can put you up on e-bay."

"This is 21st century. Traficking beautiful women is punishable by law."

"… what about ugly women?"

"There's no such thing." Aya said without hesitation.

"Pft."

"Are you saying there is?"

"Of course there is," Tyson said, chuckling. "Don't tell me you're one of those 'everyone is beautiful' people?"

"No, of course not. Well, I stopped being one after meeting you, at least."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, what do you want for the present? Emma told me to buy you some games, but I don't wanna." she said.

"Why not?"

"I'm not comfortable buying R+18 games," Aya said, smirking lightly. "It's beneath me."

"… aah, and I was just about to request your homemade tape. Damn."

"Homemade tape?" Aya asked, tilting her head sideways in confusion. Just how innocent is this girl?! Dammit!

"… don't look it up, I beg you."

"… I don't have to. I think I got the gist of it."

"Aah, don't look at me with those eyes!!" Tyson cried out as they left the campus grounds. "I'm not a pervert, I swear!"

"Pft. Sure." … why am I feeling so happy even though she's insulting me? Wait, am I—no—no way…

"You hungry?"

"Sort of. Why?"

"Well, you bugged me how I always take you to same place, so I figured I'd mix things up today."

"… it's not going to be one of those places where you go 'say aaa' and I open my mouth and boom the d.i.c.k goes in."

"…"

"What?"

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A PLACE DO YOU THINK THIS WORLD IS?! NO, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM?!!"

"A pervert?" Terrible, awful, she's unhealthy for my heart! "There's a lot of those places in manga, so I was curious."

"… can I rectify my existence?! Will you allow me to go back in time and be unborn?!"

"No need," Aya said, glancing at him with a slight smile, causing Tyson's heart to skip a beat. "I trust you."

"…"

"Wow, you're seriously like an average shoujo main girl. Not a panel goes by without blushing."

"… my pride as a man," Tyson stretched out his arm. "Come back. Please…"

"Eh? You had it in the first place?"

"Are you a friend?! Are you an enemy?!! Just what are you to me?!" Tyson cried out as they cut the corner.

"Aah, this is a hidden alley. I don't think I can go in with you here."

"… didn't you say you trust me?"

"I was joking. Let's go back to our usual place."

"… do you know where can I buy a gun?"

"If you're thinking about suicide, just stop breathing. It's easy."

"Ugh, just come," Tyson suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her forward. Oi, why'd I go and grab her hand out of nowhere?! Doesn't this support the hypothesis that I'm a pervert?! Ah, but her hand is soft… and so small…wait, begone filthy thoughts! Begone!

"Hear no evil, see no evil. Hear no evil, see no evil. Hear no evil--"

"Stop chanting, please!!" Tyson cried out, his eyes growing watery. "I'm not some sort of an evil ghost!"

"No, of course not." Aya said. "You're a perverted ghost." She's really ruthless today! Ah, wait, as I thought… something's wrong with her…

"You're really not pulling your punches today. Ah, we're here," Tyson said, letting go of her hand as they landed in front of a fast food place. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, why'd you think that?" Aya asked as the two entered.

"Even if you usually just make fun of me, today you're just bombarding me. It's like you're purposefully trying to push me away."

"Tsk. Perceptive at times like this…"

"W-wait, did you just click your tongue at me?! I'm right! I'm totally right, aren't I?!"

"I'll have a cheeseburger," Aya said. "And yes, you're right. It's a bodily reaction I developed to your perversions."

"… oh my god, don't say things that can be so easily misunderstood!!"

"How can they--" WAIT!!! And thus, Tyson, for the first time, saw the deadpan Aya's cheeks turn red as her eyes widened. She quickly looked away, but it was too late. That image was imprinted inside his mind permanently. Too cute… too freaking cute!! "You saw nothing."

"… hey, seller-guy," Tyson ignored her and turned toward the guy who was looking at them awkwardly. "Do you have a camera in here?"

"C-camera?"

"That expression of hers right now, that was absolutely adorable, right? Right?! I'm afraid I may forget it, so I—aii, aii, stop pinching me, I'm just kidding!"

"Good."

"I could never forget that face."

"Ugh…"

"I'll have a hotdog by the way."

"C-coming up…"

"You really can be cute at times," Tyson said, smiling brightly as the two sat down. "Aah, being insulted today like a pig, over and over again, suddenly seems so worth it."

"That was my blunder," Aya said, her face back to its usual deadpan picture. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Eeh? Wanna bet?"

"Bet?"

"Over whether I can make you blush again or not," Tyson said, smirking. "If I win, I get to order you one thing--"

"No."

"--wait, at least hear me out!"

"I'm not giving my body to you."

"… seriously, though, just what kind of a man do you take me for?"

"Besides, there's no way you can make me blush. I made myself blush today in the first place. You played no part in it."

"Stop, please! I've got no interest in your body!" My heart can't take this anymore!!

"W-what?! Like none at all?!"

"MAKE UP YOUR MIND, PLEASE!!"

"Khm, just so you know, I don't have any interest in your body either." Aya said flatly.

"Ah, join the club---" Why am I like this…

"… why are you like that?"

"That's what I'd like to know too!"

"Anyway, the bet is pointless, as there's no way you can make me blush. I'm gay, you know."

"… like hell you are."

"Is there something wrong with being gay? I thought you'd be interested in my sensual lovemaking sessions with beautiful girls."

"… I'm surprised you can even formulate remotely s.e.x.u.a.l sentence."

"That's rude. For all you know, I could be p.o.r.n novelist."

"… pft, ha ha ha ha, yeah, no, no way," Tyson burst out in laughter. "Aah, that got me good… ha ha ha…"

"Tsk."

"Oi, that's second time today!"

"E-even if I'm not gay, I'm completely immune to you."

"Join the c-- oh my god!!"

"Seriously, you should get that brain of yours checked."

"I wasn't like this before I met you! You're bringing out the worst in me!"

"… you mean the actual you?"

"Exactly!! … ah, I give up. This thing called living… it isn't for me…" Tyson cried out softly.

"Don't worry."

"Eh? You're supporting me? Thank you~~"

"I'll write you a beautiful eulogy."

"… wake me up when you die."

"Ah, speaking of death," Aya exclaimed softly as if she remembered something, reaching into her bag and taking out five thick books. "I've brought you first five volumes of Berserk. It's easier to read it this way, no?"

"Eh?" Holy crap, these are heavy! Did she seriously carry them all the way here? "Ah, thanks," he picked them up and inspected them slowly. "I didn't have time to read last night, so I can just start over. Thanks again."

"No problem. I figured, reading this, you'll realize your life isn't that bad."

"… and I thought we were having a moment…"

"… s-shut up. You and I will never have a moment."

"O-of course!! I was obviously being sarcastic just now, like I can ever have a moment with a strange alien creature! Bleeh."

"… what are you, a lama?"

"If I was, I'd spit in your eyes!"

"Pervert~~"

"NOT THAT WAY!!"