Home For The Holidays

Malcolm was woken up the sound of the door bursting open and feet stomping in through the main door. That could only mean one thing; Kimmy and her brood had arrived and were going to slowly infest the place until it was entirely consumed. Kim met her husband Dan when she was in college and as a result she never graduated and instead went home and became a stay home mom to a family that could almost fill an infield. Malcolm never had to worry about the family's legacy because even if Dick managed to torpedo his career like Pete Rose or Barry Bonds, Kim had so many kids that one of them was bound to do them proud. The odds were in the favor especially since Dan wasn't a dummy and offered some decent genes into the equation. Malcolm was wearing just jeans and a white t-shirt as he descended the stairs to greet the new arrivals. He waved to the few kids he could see as he came down.

"If you're selling cookies, I don't want any!" he called as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Uncle Mal!" one of them called out as he ran over and gave Malcolm's leg a bear hug that couldn't be broken with the jaws of life.

"That's quite a grip you got there," Malcolm said as he tried to shake him off. "Have you ever considered getting into Olympic wrestling or rodeo?"

"No," the young boy said.

"You should," Malcolm replied, "You might excel in that."

"Yeah!" the young kid said as he ran off.

"Don't encourage him." Kim said to Malcolm once he was out of earshot.

"The only thing I encourage is rational thought," Malcolm informed her, "A habit of mine since that's what I do for a living."

"Is that so?" a voice called out, "And here I thought your job was to crush the dreams of young kids trying to get a quality education."

"No, that's just a benefit." Malcolm replied as he watched Kim's husband Dan walk in with a few more suitcases. "When I make tenure I get the ability to consume their souls."

"Whatever." Kim said as she strolled out of the room.

Malcolm looked down at all the luggage. "Are you guys moving in or did you spit out a few more rug rats since the last time we talked?"

"Oh no," Dan said with a laugh that was as phony as him, "No more for us. Six is more than enough. Four boys and two girls is more than enough to keep her busy. Where's Dick and David?"

"They're still inbound." Malcolm replied, "They'll both be in before supper."

"And have we any plans for that?" Dan asked.

"I was just going to order a dozen pizzas and a few pounds of wings." Malcolm said with a shrug. "That should do it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dan said as he went up the stairs with the suitcases he had.

Malcolm left the ones he took from Kim and walked into the dining room to see one of his nieces sitting at his laptop. "What are you doing with my computer?"

"Trying to check my email." The girl replied.

"You can't," Malcolm answered, "That computer has no internet connections."

"Why?" the young girl asked as she was surprised by his response.

"Because it's my writing computer," Malcolm answered, "I only use that for writing. I have other computers to connect online for.

"Whatever." The young girl said as she left the table and the room.

"Holy Deja Vu, Batman." Malcolm said as he closed the laptop and started to clear the table so no one would mess with his stuff.

He strolled into the living room to see that at least four kids were sitting in front of the television and had turned to a show they all could agree on. Malcolm was surprised to see that it worked at all.

"Note to self," he said out loud, "Cancel the cable service."

"Not yet," Kim said as she walked in, "Unless you want to have all of them running around the house and screaming all day."

"Not really," Malcolm said with a sigh, "We'll disconnect it after everyone goes."

"So when do we get to see Dad?" Kim asked.

"Never." Malcolm answered. He wasn't trying to be cruel, it was just the truth.

"Why not?" Kim said, somewhat confused.

"Because he's been cremated." Malcolm answered. "The only thing we're going to see at the wake tomorrow is an Urn."

"That's a little cruel," Kim declared, "Even for you."

"Don't look at me, sister." Malcolm replied, "This was all done before I even rolled into town. This was all done by the funeral home on special instructions from Dad's last will and testament."

"Oh," Kim said as she had no idea, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Malcolm said as he looked back at the kids who were all zoned into what was on the television. "Is pizza and wings okay, tonight?"

"Yeah, that will be fine." Kim replied.

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"Just a quick question," Malcolm asked as he was curious about something. "How long has it been since your kids saw Uncle Dick?"

"A while," Kim confessed, "We've all be very busy with life."

"So they haven't seen him since he became a sports icon?" Malcolm said as he couldn't help but grin. "Oh, this should be interesting."

The house had managed to die down and become peaceful but that peace was spoiled when the next sibling parked into the driveway. There was no need to ask which one had arrived as the car that settled in behind Kimmy's van was a Ferrari that was worth at least half a million dollars. It was a bright red and was the kind of car that every boy grew up wanting to own. Dick Jackson was the kid that managed to live that dream as he owned five of them. Playing right field for the Los Angeles Dodgers was the job of a lifetime and the only thing he ever wanted to do. He used his talent to land a scholarship at an Ivy League college but soon dropped out when his value went through the roof. Being picked seventh overall was a bit of an insult but Dick didn't give a shit. He was a Dodger and the team that went first would live to regret it though he never would because he got to live and work in California.

One of Kim's boys watched from the window and then looked back at his mother. "Why is there a baseball player from LA in our front yard?"

"Have fun with that one." Malcolm said as he playfully padded Kim's shoulder.