I Am Undying

Rin hasn't fully decided. If this is real or not, he still had his doubts. Seeing the drop of blood on his thumb, he felt surreal.

If this is all true then it would be too great. There is nothing important that he isn't willing to give up in exchange for his wish: to be reincarnated as a strong man. If it isn't real then he don't know, he doesn't know what he will do. All that left is to end it.

Nothing bad will ever happen. The worse case scenario is that this is a dream so why am I hesitating?

Rin closed his eyes and softly pressed his thumb on the paper. Right after that, he heard a whooshing sound. He opened his eyes to see what it is. He knew that the windows are closed but that sound felt like it was close by.

He didn't expect what he saw, he saw nothing. Even the paper he was just holding earlier was gone and the mysterious person who gave to him was nowhere to be found too.

Feeling dejected, Rin stood up from being rested on the bed and exited the room depressed. He is still in his shool uniform so nobody stopped him from getting out of the hospital.

The only hope he had was only just a dream. It would just be too good to be true. Even if he wouldn't be reincarnated, either heaven or hell would be fine for him as long as he can get out of this world where it only brought him suffering.

After a long walk, he finally reached home. The sky was blue when he opened the door. The inside of the house was no longer dark but for him, it was darker than before or rather, it was colorless.

His sight was waving left and right. Right after he went in, he walked through the living room, through the kitchen and then there's a sliding door, an exit to their backyard.

Their backyard was not big but is still spacious. On the left side is a garden full of flowers with different colors and plants of different kinds of fruits and vegetables. On the right side, there was a small storage shed.

Rin went into the small storage shed where few tools, lot for gardening, were storaged. He took a piece of rope. The rope is sturdy enough to not break even if a lot of force were to pull it. He clenched the rope before softly saying:

"…I'm sorry…"

He turned around and got inside the house and went into the living room. In there, a ceiling fan was hanging. He grabbed a chair and stood on it to elevate him to tie the rope on the ceiling fan tigthly.

On the other end of the rope, he tied it to itself, leaving a hole. He held the rope by both ends but before he did anything, he looked at the rising sun through the sliding door. It was only in the early morning but for Rin, the sun was bright like it was in the middle of the day. Yet, its sunlight can't reach inside the room. Everything was still dark

He breathed deeply, inhaling and exhaling. He feel neither fear nor sadness. In fact, he can't feel anything right at the moment.

"Nobody will notice if a nobody will be gone.", Rin said melancholically while he closed his eyes. He tried to recollect every memories he had since he was born. Reliving his life before death but it was bitter. It only gave him another push to do it.

Rin placed the rope around his neck then without hesitation, he kicked the chair and made it fall, leaving him no platform to stand on. He too fell but was caught by the rope. The rope around his neck tigthened, it made him unable to breath a single air.

Rin weakly struggled and clutched the rope around his neck to ease the pain a little but to no avail. He unintentionally scratched his neck until it bleed. He wanted to scream but no voice came out from his choked throat.

"..Ack!!.. argh!!.."

He felt his strength leaving him as time passes. He didn't know the pain he went through but it was finally getting over.

What is it over the afterlife? Is there heaven and hell? Or do we just go not "exist" any longer? Or is reincarnation real? Will I be a new man in the next life?

His mind flashed a face of a handsome young man, smiling at him while eating an orange.

Rin's sunken eyes closed. My life was ending and the last thing my mind showed me was the mysterious young man from my dream.

His hands gave up and released its grip on the rope. His body slowly and barely swung from all the struggle he made.

It was quiet… until a sudden scream was heard.

"Argh!!..", Rin's hands moved and gripped the rope around his neck again. The one who was suppose to be dead opened his eyes amd continued to struggle...