I Don’t Want to Be a Lady

“Hey! What the hell are you doing? You show up out of nowhere and try to drag my father to the battlefield? What the hell is wrong with you?”

At Layla’s angry shouts, I waved my hand as if tired. “I don’t have the energy to talk to you, so get out.”

“What? This is my house! Do you think you’re the owner here too?”

I saw Layla running wild, then said, “I know this is your house, but have you forgotten that I’m a baroness? Keep the line, Lady Layla.”

My cold eyes turned to Layla. She flinched for a moment after receiving the gaze. However, she shouted more fiercely as if she didn’t like that fact.

“Line? Who crossed the line in the first place? It wasn’t enough that you took away my place, but now you’re trying to take my father too? Why on earth! Why are you so viciously stealing what was mine and harassing me!”

“Stealing?” I asked, looking indifferently at Layla. “What was yours in the first place? The position of duchess? Who acknowledged that? The position was empty, and no one else had it. I didn’t take yours. You know that too, right?”

Tears welled up in Layla’s eyes. In fact, she knew it too. That Arianne didn’t take her place. The fact that it was never her in the first place. It was just that she wasn’t the right person for that position. But she might as well consider it stolen because that was how to protect her pride.

“Then why you? Why do you have everything like that? Why can’t I have it?”

I asked in response to Layla’s oppressed voice, who seemed to feel the unfairness.

“Then why are you trying to have something you can’t have?”

“What do you mean?”

Layla thought Arianne was insulting her now. It sounded like she laughed at her for trying to reach a place that she couldn’t reach without knowing her subject.

“Literally, why are you struggling for something you can’t have?”

“Ha. Then what? You want me to settle as a countryside baroness? You, who become Duchess and Baroness, would easily say that,” said Layla, staring at Arianne with hateful eyes.

“I never wanted those positions. They’re all just a process to reach my goal.”

Layla couldn’t understand what she was saying.

“Your goal is higher than becoming baroness and duchess? No way! Is that why you’re with your highnesses? Are you saying you dare to become an empress?”

Layla, interpreting my words wildly, exclaimed with a shocked face. In response, I said with a fed-up face, “It’s not like that. I don’t want to be successful as anyone’s wife. I just want to be fully recognized as a person and stand alone.”

“What do you mean?”

I continued. “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t understand. You won’t care too. I have no intention of making you understand. It’s just that I’m telling you because the way you’re doing it now is so frustrating. Do you love Charter?”

“That…”

At the sudden question, Layla was ready to say she loved him, but she couldn’t say it. Why? She thought she was in love with Charter, but she didn’t know why she couldn’t answer her when she asked that question.

“Is it Charter that you loved? Or his status and wealth?”

“That’s…”

“Of course, I would have loved him for his wealth and status. That’s not wrong at all. That’s why I chose him.”

“Ha. You admit it now, don’t you? You don’t marry him because you love him, either. You were aiming for his background.”

I asked, tilting my head, “What’s wrong with that?”

“What?”

Layla was speechless. She had never seen anyone so proudly reveal their snobs. Even his greedy father always pretended not to be like that.

“What’s wrong with being a snob? Is it wrong to honestly say that I like that man’s wealth and status more than to measure everything inside while pretending to be innocent outside?”

“It’s… uncultured.”

I snorted. “Does culture feed you? Rather than pretending to be dignified and sucking their fingers while arguing about culture and virtue, I would rather be criticized and take care of my own food.”

“!”

My words were extremely realistic and uneducated remarks that weren’t dignified at all.

“Do you have to be the wife of someone and belong to them?”

“It’s better than becoming a poor man’s wife.”

Was she influenced by Arianne? Layla was beginning to be honest too.

“No, I mean, can’t you be the one who belongs to yourself?”

“?”

Layla couldn’t understand Arianne’s words at all. “How can I, a woman, belong to myself? I can’t even have any property because I’m a woman.” She couldn’t resist asking.

Arianne seemed to know the answer to that. She wanted to know the answer. It sounds like I can belong to myself. I wanted to know the answer.

After reading Layla’s mind, I pondered for a moment. I had no intention of telling her about my contract marriage. Because it was a secret between Charter and myself.

I thought. What’s the point of telling this immature and greedy lady? Layla was neither my friend nor my enemy. So why am I having this conversation with her?

I must have been very lonely too. Right. For myself, who lived in captivity without a friend, Layla was the first person of my age I encountered and fought the most. I thought that reason was enough. I was just too lazy to think deeply. There was no reason to hide the big facts.

“Don’t waste your opportunities and talents.”

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t understand what you’re saying now,” said Layla.

“Mother said that you draw very well. Maybe you can become a great painter.”

At my sudden praise, Layla asked, “What kind of nonsense is that? A woman cannot be a painter. It’s just a part of the culture.”

I became frustrated. “Why can’t you be a painter? Is there a law saying that a woman couldn’t be a painter?”

“It’s because no woman has become a painter!” shouted Layla.

“There was no woman who became baroness before me too.”

“!”

Layla seemed to have been hit on the head. At that moment, she felt like something was breaking off.

“You were able to make your own connections in the capital thanks to your mother’s friendship. There were opportunities to learn and people to support you. However, you just didn’t intend to try. You made up an excuse because you’re a woman. Rather than working for an uncertain future, you chose to become a man’s property for a comfortable life.”

Layla could not deny it. She didn’t even want to admit it. “Don’t make me laugh. I’ve been trying hard too. Do you think learning manners, drawing, or embroidery is easy? Aren’t those obvious efforts too?”

“Of course, those are also efforts. I’m not saying living like that is bad. It’s also good to get married normally and have a comfortable life. Everyone lives like that. However, if you live like that, nothing will be completely yours forever.”

“…”

Layla thought. According to Arianne’s words, what would become the countless efforts she had made so far? If she dismissed all of them as meaningless things… It was unfair, but she had to admit it. That she could never beat someone like Arianne. Now Arianne was teaching her way. She pointed her in a new direction she had never thought of.

“I’m saying this because you keep talking about yours.”

Arianne pulled the rope.

“Because you keep bothering me even though it was never yours in the first place. I’m going to wash up now. I want you to leave so that I can relax when I return.”

Arianne spoke to Layla, who was still motionless as if a nail had stuck in her foot. “Ah, by the way, I have no intention of dragging Viscount Rumbojio to the battlefield. He’s not going to help at all. Just prepare the carriage and something nice. Not the flashy carriage, but the sturdy carriage.”

Even after Arianne left the room, Layla stood there for a while as if she had been nailed. She, who had been standing for a long time and was lost in thought, quietly left the room.

It was the following day.

“I apologize, Your Highness Crown Prince, Second Prince, and Baroness Devit. My husband must have been in a hurry yesterday, but he can’t get out of his bed because he’s sick. I’m sorry, but I don’t think he can participate in the battlefield together. Instead, he said he would support you as much as he could,” said Viscountess Rumbojio.

I knew it would be like this.

“That’s a shame. But can I really ask for his support?”

“Yes. Feel free to tell me.”

I said, “Then, 200 rifles and 30 carts of food, please.”

“Pardon?”

Viscountess Rumbojio’s eyes widened. All her husband expected was a carriage and travel expenses for them, so she was taken aback by Arianne’s unexpected request.

I smiled at her and said, “I heard you’re Mother’s best friend.”

“Yes, that’s right. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

“So I have a favor to ask of you.”

“What…”

I said, holding the hand of Viscountess Rumbojio, “Mother is alone in the capital now. If it’s not rude, I’d like Madam to go to Mother. I’m sure she’s worried because Charter and I are leaving for the battlefield. Why don’t you go there to comfort yourself and see old friends? Please listen to my request.”

Longing filled the eyes of Viscountess Rumbojio as if recalling a friend of hers.

“But… Viscount…”

“The Viscount will send his wife, right? Your Highness?”

I said to Luiden. Despite my sudden request, Luiden smiled leisurely.

“Let me leave a message for Viscount Rumbojio.”

I then said to Viscountess Rumbojio, “Madam heard that, right? Don’t worry anymore and go. The deadline is… hopefully until the end of the war. Until then, we won’t be able to go back, so please stay by Mother’s side and protect her.”

“Oh… God…”

Tears came out of the eyes of Viscountess Rumbojio.

“Oh my. I forgot my handkerchief.”

I apologized for not having a handkerchief to wipe her tears.

“No, thank you very much, Baroness Devit. My best friend is really lucky to have someone like you as her daughter-in-law.”

“I’m the lucky one. Because I have such a good person as my mother.”

Viscountess Rumbojio wiped away her tears, smiled beautifully, and said, “You’re such a lovely person. I hope you come back safely.”

I bowed my head to her and turned around. Everything I planned had been completed. Now, it was time to go to the battlefield where Charter was.

“Let’s go to the battlefield.”

* * *

It was two days after Arianne left the house of Viscount Rumbojio. Charter had just arrived at the front.

“Explain the current situation. Where it was pierced and how it was handled.”

“Yes. First of all, this area is open on all sides, so it is difficult to defend with the current number of people. We managed to hold it off, but this battle should have given Kelteman a sense of our forces’ strength. It’s a turning point from now on.”

Charter’s brow wrinkled.

“It will take at least two days for additional troops to arrive. We have to endure until then.”

Looking at the plain where the dawn was breaking, Charter’s black eyes were deeply sunken.