I Don’t Want To Be the Main Character

32. Impoverishment

1.

Sylphia Andreth couldn’t remember how she came back after that.

Did she come back shivering with humiliation, or did she come back angry at Arwen and vomited out all the lumps inside her?

She didn’t remember very well, but she didn’t even have to try hard to remember.

Arwen, who suddenly appeared in front of me brazenly and pretended to be clean and noble by himself, was not the target of my anger, but only a catalyst. At least she felt that way to Sylpia.

“……Ah.”

Silpia, lying still on her bed with her arms covering her eyes, let out a weak moan through her parched lips.

Slandering under the guise of a conversation with Arwen was just a kind of trigger.

There is only a difference in degree, but anyway, all five of them have the same past. It also meant that they shared the same wounds.

That’s why I knew that the conversation from earlier only opened up each other’s unhealed wounds and gave us pain. Not only she, but Arwen must have known as well.

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Just.

“You shouldn’t let other dragons know about it, even by mistake. You will definitely be teased for the rest of your life.”

He said things he didn’t mean to. Otherwise, I feel like this stuffy feeling right now won’t be resolved.

I knew it in my head. I was understanding. The fact that play is just play.

However, dragons are not creatures with emotions different from humans. They ridicule humans for being weak, but when they actually start playing, it’s a role-playing game in which they play a specific role.

Occasionally, when I heard news of other dragons who were too immersed in the game, the past where I laughed at them saying that they seemed to have enjoyed the game for too long passed by.

“……What did you enjoy playing for so long. In the end, I became the same.”

A salty taste came from his parched lips. It was a tear.

It wasn’t because I was sad. However, a drop of unexplained tear flowed from his eyes.

I felt strange about myself. And it was Rudrick who made himself strange.

It wasn’t for nothing that dragons were taboo for having deeper relationships with humans than necessary during play. Occasionally, some dragons forget that they are dragons and become overly immersed in play, which simply kills an eternity.

And the price for violating the taboo was so high that it could not be repaid.

Recognizing that a taboo is not a taboo for nothing, Sylphia turned around and buried her face between the pillows.

Sylphia’s body, which buried her face, shook for a while. As if weeping

2.

Arwen wasn’t all that comfortable.

It’s time, but since Rudrick didn’t return to the room, he had a bad feeling about something. He left the room and wandered aimlessly around the palace in the form of a cat for a while, frustrated as if a rock had been placed on a corner of his chest.

There were times when I caught the eye of other people, but maybe because of my luxurious appearance, I was mistaken for a cat owned by a high-ranking person, so I didn’t get much restraint.

The moment I went to the entrance of the imperial palace and wandered around, seeing Sylphia and Rudric return like loving lovers.

The impact hit her like a fist hit her face.

Sylphea and Sylphea had an argument, pouring out hurtful words to each other, but even now, when she returned to her room, the shock was not completely gone.

“What are you thinking?”

“……No, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about the past.”

A soft hand caressed Arwen’s head as she sat on her lap and pondered something.

Suddenly, I was starting to feel strangely dissatisfied with being treated as a real cat instead of my true ancestor Arwen Nosferatu. Although she intended to remind her that she was strictly the opposite s*x, not a cat who kept her as a pet.

When she received her caressing hand like this, her usual complaints would disappear like melting snow.

She wasn’t too comfortable to be enjoying the touch right now.

It was a contradiction.

It was a relationship of rivalry where each other competed for one man, but paradoxically, he was also the only person who could share the wounds and pain before returning.

“Rudric.”

“Huh?”

“What do you think?”

“What are you thinking all of a sudden?”

“Let’s say there’s a beast with the same wound. We’re usually on bad terms, but we can’t live without licking each other’s wounds.”

Arwen, who had just mechanically rubbed her head against Rudrick’s hand, sighed in a low voice.

Unlike usual, Rudrick reflexively listened to the words spoken in a serious and heavy atmosphere.

When she asked what happened to Sylphia, she didn’t answer anything. It reminded her of the situation from before, and it was not difficult to figure out that it had something to do with that conversation.

“Isn’t it contradictory? The fact that even though we’re so close, each other’s existence hurts the other just because we share the same pain, and even though we have that wound, we find comfort.”

“……Is it because of what I said to Sylphia earlier?”

“……It’s not necessarily like that. It’s just that I suddenly thought of it.”

Rudrick, who was listening to Arwen’s words, made an ambiguous expression.

Rudrick knew that Arwen, who had already openly revealed that she was a regressor, and everyone else had regressed.

However, there is a blind spot here, so even though we know that they have regressed, we do not know the reason for their recurrence, the cause, or what happened in the past before the regress.

The cause of the regression is that the ‘fact’ itself is important, so even if you ignore it, even Rudrick was very curious about what roughly happened in the past before the regression.

What happened to Arwen suddenly brought up a conversation without context?

My curiosity got bigger and bigger, and I needed to listen to it at least once.

“Arwen.”

“……Um.”

“Then can I ask you something?”

Rudrick’s voice was as determined as ever.

It was not difficult to guess the content of the question, and Arwen nodded her head with an expression that seemed like something was coming.

“You said you had a regression.”

“Yes.”

“Then what happened in the past before returning?”

“…….”

Short but direct and penetrating questions.

But Arwen couldn’t answer. The expected question came out of Rudrick’s mouth, but his mouth didn’t come off easily as if it were glued on.

It is not difficult to say what happened in the past before the regression.

However, in the past, it was not so easy to say that you, innocently asking questions right in front of you, died.

This is cruel.

It is a very miserable feeling to not be able to say a few words of that cruel and simple truth, like a mute suffering from a cold heart.

What would happen if a person knew about his or her own lifespan – considering the result, it was not difficult to understand the reason.

Rudrick cautiously asked what kind of strangeness he felt in Arwen’s hesitant attitude.

“……Did something bad happen to me?”

“……!”

The carefully asked question penetrated the essence in an instant.

It was an inferred question with Arwen’s hesitant attitude, as if there was some reason Rudric couldn’t bear to say, but Arwen’s flinch as he turned his back and sat on his lap came back with conviction.

“……I guess that’s right. Like I died. Well, something like that must have happened.”

“That’s…”

“I am again.”

Rudrick spoke calmly.

From the point of view of remembering the past life, death was not unknown.

But if I were to die right now, I would think of the relationship I had built over the past 20 years first, followed by feelings of sadness.

“I didn’t say anything for fear of shocking you.”

“……Yes.”

Arwen added in a small voice.

Even if you die, you can’t regard death as familiar unless you return. Because everyone has only one life.

However, Rudrick pretended to be calm and brushed Arwen’s hair roughly.

“That’s cute. Are you worried about that?”

“Ears, ears, cute… No, aren’t you worried that you’ll die in the future? I’m born with a long lifespan, but humans live only a hundred years—”

“That’s why you returned, Arwen.”

Arwen was speechless as he shook her head like a mad cat and shook her hand away.

Arwen, who stood still like a broken machine, slowly turned her head after a while.

“……What do you mean by that?”

“Whether I die in an accident or a disease. Anyway, you’ve seen the process. Then you must know how to stop it.”

“……I’m not an omnipotent being who can do anything. If you can’t prevent the future of your death, how on earth are you saying such carelessly?”

“Well, you’ll do something.”

Rudrick’s seemingly irresponsible words seemed absurd.

Rising from his lap with a gurgling gait, Arwen’s figure sat down under the bed was bathed in a twinkling light and changed back to human form.

Hair neatly braided to one side and neatly dressed in formal suits.

It was the same as the first time I saw it in Lorenzo’s secret laboratory, but if there was a difference from then, there was a strange heat in her purple eyes.

“Whoops…”

The corner of Arwen’s mouth went up.

I knew the intention. I didn’t say that out of irresponsibility, but to break the gloomy atmosphere that had been going on since before. And that she only said that to reassure Arwen of her painful memories.

The Rudrick in her memory seems strangely sloppy and easy-going, but underneath his blunt behavior was fundamentally a kind consideration for others.

“……Hey, Arwen?”

“I guess I need to tell you that you shouldn’t say such things if you don’t have the confidence to take responsibility.”

In the state of transforming into her cat, it was almost tantalizing that only blood was dripping from the tips of her fingers.

Even though they are true ancestors, their roots are vampires. To her, her vampire, her Rudrick’s blood was an irreplaceable delicacy, so the last few days just tantalized her taste buds.

Ahahahaha, Arwen buried her face in the nape of Rudrick’s neck who was laughing awkwardly.

The scent of her body filling her nasal passages was sweet, and in her last moments Arwen, who displayed her superhuman self-control, gave it a little ending.

Like if you really hate it, push it away.

But Rudrick didn’t push back, and Arwen thrust his fangs into the scruff of his neck.

Arwen slowly sucked her blood as he slowly swept across Rudrick’s back, as if trying to calm Rudrick, who flinched at the moment the fangs set in.

“……This, it feels very strange.”

“Get used to it. You will experience it often.”

Arwen, who managed to reply with an unbroken pronunciation, thought involuntarily.

I just want this moment to last forever, she said.