I Failed to Divorce My Husband

Chapter 31

– Chapter 31 –

Isabella suddenly shook her head.

She frowned, wrinkling her brow. She seemed to have had a headache for a while.

But her expression soon returned.

I’m not feeling well these days.

After returning to the estate, she’d been feeling constantly tired.

There was Whitney’s case, and there were a lot of other things she needed to take care of as well, and she couldn’t take a break.

“Hu……”

Truthfully, her harsh words to Logan were stuck in her mind.

So she was even more tired because she couldn’t sleep well.

But she couldn’t just do nothing and rest, as there were many things to deal with as a duchess.

“Bring me some good relaxation tea.”

Instead, she drank tea to calm herself down.

Then, she refocused on her paperwork.

She was going to do everything she had to do without any problems until she completely left.

However, her concentration did not last long, and she was disturbed.

Her mind was calmer than ever. After making up her mind, she was rather relieved.

The last 20 years she spent here occasionally came to her mind.

From the days when she was still unfamiliar with many things, to gradually killing her heart and erasing her hopes and expectations, until she was evaluated for fulfilling the role of a fully-fledged duchess.

She was the centre of high society, and even among the other ducal families, she was unrivalled.

But even though she became a being that everyone envied and looked up to, she was never happy.

Now, she really is tired.

In the past, there were times when she held onto hopes like a fool.

Betting on Logan’s meaningless kindness, and fluttering at each of his meaningless words, she wondered if she had feelings for him……

Now she learned that all of those hopes were just torture.

She was moved for a moment to see him overreacting and rejecting her declaration of divorce, but she no longer harboured any painful hopes.

For Aiden’s sake, she had to let go of her regrets.

As the Duchess of Leinster, she had not been able to take good care of Aiden.

That being said, she wanted to be the strength of the child by blocking the draft that blows towards him from outside the family.

A cold wind blew in and swept through her suffocating chest.

Her mind was calmer than ever.

After she made up her mind, she felt more relaxed.

Isabella didn’t even notice how much time had passed while she was working on her paperwork.

As the night sky grew dark, Logan came to her room.

All of the employees were withdrawn from his sudden visit.

The two people remaining in the room were facing each other, but they seemed to be in completely different spaces.

A cold atmosphere flowed between Isabella and Logan.

She didn’t seem to want to face him.

But Logan was going to say everything he was determined to say.

“I have something I want to tell you.”

“It’s okay if you don’t answer.”

Isabella’s eyes were still fixed on the window.

“Instead, please listen to what I have to say,” Logan asked her.

She still didn’t move.

However, the good thing was, she didn’t get up from her seat.

He continued to speak.

“I want to continue living with you.”

She clenched her hands tightly.

She pretended to keep her composure but actually reacted emotionally upon hearing what he said.

But eventually, her composure did not last long.

Her tightly-closed lips opened.

“You never cared about anything.”

Her gaze turned towards him.

“Be it me, or even Aiden.”

Without her noticing, her voice became more forceful.

“No. I’ve never been like that.”

Logan sternly denied it.

“Did you come here just to spout lies that you care about him now?”

Isabella sharply turned to face him.

She glared at him as she slowly opened her mouth, shifting her gaze behind him.

“I regret it.”

“If I hadn’t married you, if it wasn’t for Leinster…… I wouldn’t have neglected my

child.”

“I blame myself, but at the same time I feel resentful.”

Truthfully, she knew it herself. That she didn’t have the right to resent him.

Still, her hatred toward him continued.

Thus, her words kept getting harsher.

She didn’t know. That it was love and hatred.

“I don’t want to live like that anymore.”

“Still…… no means no.”

Logan said, avoiding Isabella’s gaze. He seemed to be stubborn.

Her gaze relentlessly followed him.

“Why do you not want to divorce me?”

“Because I never once thought about it.”

“Then do it now. In fact, divorce wouldn’t be a bad thing for you.”

“That isn’t the problem. Naturally, I thought I’d be with you for the rest of my life.”

Isabella smirked and let out a sneer.

“Why? You and I were no better than anyone else, how could that be natural? I’ve thought of breaking up with you countless times.”

“You’re not going to say that you like me with that mouth, are you?”

She ignored him like that. She was laughing, blaming and mocking him.

“You’re not that shameless, right.”

She was bellowing at him.

“If you’re doing this because you’re afraid I’ll interrupt you after the divorce, don’t worry. It’s never going to happen.”

Although she was just making a suggestion, the more she did, his clenched fists trembled severely.

“I’ve never worried about that.”

The conversation between the two went back and forth with a lot of tension.

“I don’t want to live with you anymore.”

“I’m truly sick and tired of it now.”

Isabella, once she started pouring out, was relentless.

Logan accepted her nonstop dagger-like words.

And after she finished speaking, he carefully unleashed his true feelings.

“I thought that you might hate it so I avoided you.”

“…..?”

“For being my wife, I didn’t want you, who had to endure everything as a Leinster, to hold back from meeting your son because of me.”

Logan also treasured his son.

He was concerned, curious, and wanted to get close to him.

But whenever he tried to approach her and Aiden when they were together, she would walk away first.

It was the same when he was with Aiden first.

She would leave as soon as she encountered him.

“Because I can’t take that privilege away from you.”

So Logan was always the one to step back.

He held back from approaching them, whom he wanted to get closer to.

That’s how Erin ran into the Duke whenever he visited his ideal spot to watch Isabella and Aiden.

Because that ideal spot was a place he had been looking from for a long time.

At Logan’s unexpected words, Isabella bit her lip in bewilderment.

“Of course…… that’s because I think you’re uncomfortable with me.”

She also avoided him because she thought he was uncomfortable.

But she couldn’t believe it wasn’t like that.

Logan and Isabella were completely unaware of each other’s feelings and shortened the time they spent with Aiden for their own reasons.

That’s how Aiden was left alone.

Isabella’s mind became perplexed.

She couldn’t digest everything Logan said.

His sincerity was something she had never thought of before.

Of course, she thought they were just indifferent to each other.

Isabella’s eyelids trembled slightly.

She held her head.

“Wait. I need a moment to think.”

Logan waited silently.

As expected, he knew it, too.

It has been 20 years since the two of them became distant.

It would be too difficult to close the distance between them in an instant.

Still, he thought it was fortunate that he was able to shake Isabella’s heart.

He intended to patiently change her mind, little by little

The two continued to have many conversations.

Although all the misunderstandings that have built up so far could not be resolved by conversation alone and her resentment didn’t disappear, that was where the real conversation started.

The couple slowly worked through the misunderstandings that had been intertwined with each other.

In the meantime, there was regret and self-blame, but there was also laughter.

It was the first time they had such a long conversation.

Why haven’t we been able to tell each other our feelings like this until now?

“It’s already dawn. Let’s stop here for now and get up.”

“Not yet……”

Logan took Isabella’s hand out of disappointment.

“We have a lot of time ahead of us. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”

She held his hand back.

“You’re right.”

Logan openly smiled and nodded.

It was time for the two of them to get up from their seats.

Isabella staggered, resting on the sofa, repeatedly closing and opening her eyes.

She shook her head slightly and tried to stand up again, but then closed her eyes tightly.

She suddenly collapsed.

The Duke immediately pulled her into his arms.

“Bella…….!”

It happened in an instant.

Logan adjusted his posture, carried her tightly, and laid her on the bed first. He then called the doctor.

During that brief time, he seemed to go crazy.

Now that they realize that they don’t hate each other.

He was afraid that something bad would happen to her.

For a long while, he couldn’t keep his composure.

Since there was nothing he could do at the moment, he endured his restlessness by tidying up her hair and pulling up the blanket several times.

When the doctor arrived, he was surprised to see Logan’s face, but he knew he shouldn’t pay attention to it, so he immediately checked Isabella’s condition.

She was still unconscious.

The doctor’s expression became more serious, and he looked at her condition several times as if he was anxious.

The more Logan watched from behind, the more his heart burned.

“The Madam……”

Finally, the doctor opened his mouth and began to talk about her condition.

“She must never overdo it from now on.”

“She must rest unconditionally. If she does not rest, her body will not be able to withstand the pressure.”

“What are you talking about?”

Logan’s voice trembled badly.

“Please pay more attention to this matter. Her body is too weak. It seems that she has endured it with her mental strength.”

Her mind and body had already reached their limits.

She was barely holding on, but when they got to know each other’s feelings, the tension that had been holding her on fire was relieved.