I Have No Health

“You’re going to mark my forehead again?”

“The mark I engraved………. It’s a one-time use.”

“Ah.”

“…..”

Among the countless expressions Caesar had shown, this one was by far the scariest.

A slight pressure flowed around Nineina.

“Ugh!”

It felt like my heart was about to explode.

──・・✧・・──

Nineina clutched her chest and shook her head.

“You….”

Earlier, anger might have spilled unconsciously, but her vitality disappeared instantly.

Nevertheless, her face, looking down at the floor, was contorted with pain.

“I’m sorry about this and that… I’m gonna faint…….”

Her body lost power and fell over.

The floor was overlaid with carpet, but it wouldn’t be enough to completely dissipate the impact.

Caesar didn’t think any further and stretched out his hand.

Only after his hands reached Nineina did he start thinking.

‘What on earth is this?’

He had an indescribable expression on his face.

Her body drooped into his arms.

Ever since he parted from Nineina, he’s been fixated on washing himself up for over an hour.

Then, Caesar felt that Nineina had summoned a spirit and rushed to her position.

It’s only because he was wondering what had happened.

His black hair dripped wistful droplets on her loosely worn white shirt.

Nineina didn’t notice, but Caesar’s hands were currently bare.

When Caesar realized the situation, emotions welled up from the depths of his body.

He doesn’t like the warmth of people. It is awful.

His Adam’s apple bulged out.

Nineina was wearing clothes, but they were fairly thin to the point where Caesar could feel her body temperature.

He felt suffocated without his gloves to protect him from this wearisome feeling.

It wasn’t fear.

It was a grudge. It was hatred and disgust.

His heart twisted as if it just got striked by a baseball bat, it felt like it was going to explode.

A destructive impulse arose.

I will kill everyone in sight if it’ll result in this terrible warmth disappearing.

The desire to lose control of the moment caused him to choke Nineina.

As Nineina’s life seeped, his body trembled as he felt something.

‘Kill her!’

What are you hesitating for? It was humanity who didn’t hesitate to do anything more to you.

– This offering is excellent.

– He’s a strong one. He doesn’t die easily and regenerates quickly even if a wound is torn.

– Little boy, if you last long, I’ll let you lick my feet too.

Caesar felt like throwing Nineina out the window as bitter memories overcame him.

‘No.’

His face distorted like a child.

– Caesar, not all humans are like that.

Caesar still couldn’t believe those words.

Humans are all the same, young or old, small or big. All are equally nauseating.

It also applied to himself, who was by nature, a human being.

Caesar wanted to shed his human form.

Every time the people harassed and called him a human, he wanted to die.

He was often driven by impulses. He couldn’t understand why he was still alive.

Why do I cling to life?

There was nothing valuable left. He was shunned and deprived.

The last one he barely managed to hold onto, chose to leave him on his own will.

These are what humans do to Caesar.

Caesar thought he should have gone with his father the day he died.

But what are you so afraid of losing that you still remain on this earth?

It would be more convenient to kill them all as much as possible.

But his hands were faithfully supporting her waist.

It was excruciatingly painful.

A small amount of warmth from Nineina’s lower back pressed against Caesar’s hands.

As I once experienced, I felt phantom pain, as if an insect drilled straight into my hand and dug a gory hole.

(QC/N: Phantom pain is a perception that an individual experiences relating to a limb or an organ that is not physically part of the body.)

“Gasp!”

Nineina’s breath erupted, and Caesar’s entire face turned pale.

Humans are all like this. They all contain that nauseating body temperature.

It was this temperature that made Caesar shudder.

One of human’s disgusting qualities, their warmth.

“Argh…….”

As the ghastly life drains out of Nineina’s whole body, her face seems distressed even when she has fainted.

His emotionless eyes, which are nothing but a scar of the past, looked down at the convulsing body trapped in his arms.

– Caesar, don’t forget. The promise to us is absolute.

The intercept on Nineina’s neck that had been depleting her life, lifted at once.

The only thing that couldn’t get out of the blood mist was the eyes of Caesar.

Caesar walked absent-mindedly and laid her on the bed. Then, Nineina, who was unable to breathe comfortably, tilted her jaw to secure her airway.

Even then, unsure that she would die, he covered her with a thick blanket and patted her shoulder as if soothing her.

A drop of cold sweat trickled down Nineina’s temple.

“Sorry….….”

Caesar involuntarily reached out to wipe the droplet, then realized that his hands were bare.

His hand twitched and dropped down.

“I’m sorry.”

He knew that she wasn’t at fault.

However, that problem was not something that Caesar could act upon.

He hated humans.

Anything that is defined as a human is the same.

‘It’s disgusting.’

His heart began racing again.

He covered his mouth and crouched down to suppress the nausea from rising.

Caesar couldn’t run away. To connect Sona with Nineina again, Nineina had to come to her senses first.

He hated humans, but he had to protect them.

The contradiction made him feel like he’s living in hell. It was the life he had chosen.

“I am still alive. Father……”

Even though he knew it would never reach him, the vain mutter was blown away by the wind.

On a burning hot day, his eyes, which were as cloudy as fish’s, glistened for a very short time and then swept to death.

(QC/N: Oh my, the author is describing his eyes looking like a dying, unhealthy fish… Those have cloudy eyes btw.)

His voice was out of reach.

He still hasn’t died.

***

I woke up after over 12 hours of sleeping like a corpse.

It was midnight when I woke up.

“Hmm…….?”

I opened my eyes slowly and frowned.

First, I only fainted for a moment, but the day was already over.

Second, why does my body hurt so much?

“The doctor told you to take your medicine when you wake up.”

Caesar, noticing that I had woken up, advised me casually without taking his eyes off the book he was reading.

I recalled the last face I saw before I fainted.

I opened my mouth, hesitating whether to say thank you or sorry first.

“Uhh… Ahhhh?”

I thought it was only my body, but my throat stung as well.

When I swallowed my saliva, I noticed a tingling sensation in my throat, which made me conclude that it must be swollen.

“Surely….… Don’t tell me I caught a cold just because I went outside for a bit?”

As I spoke, I heard the sound of a book being slammed shut.

His hair was slightly wet as he approached.

It seems that he has washed up again.

Were you tired?

His atmosphere seemed strange, with a slight increase of sorry.

Somehow, I felt like he was reading my countenance.

“Do you… have something to say to me?”

“Do you feel unwell?”

“Yeah. Well, it’s because I was stubborn and wanted to go out, so who can I blame?”

“It’s not my lady’s fault.”

“Who is to blame if not me? I’m the one who decided to go out as I please…….”

“You can blame me.”