95 – True Mind – 2

“What do you know….”

I was subdued by Charlotte.

The moment something piled up in my heart burst out, I was punching Charlotte before I knew it.

“Really.”

She slammed my head into the table as she let out an attack with such a sneer.

“A guy who wants to be a knight writes because he gets excited so easily.”

I was able to shake it off if I put my mind to it.

No matter how much she said she was grabbed by the back of her neck, it wasn’t like she used her magic.

But even if I shake off this, will anything change?

Such doubts did not go away.

“But why are you excited? Is there anything wrong with what I said? After all, you are just trying to run away now.”

Charlotte sighed, saying it was absurd.

“I’d rather be blinded by revenge. Fighting together is the same, and if you use it well, it can be a good force.”

“….”

“But now you’re turning your back on the excuse that you feel responsible in a strange place, right? Master’s personality, he probably didn’t sacrifice because he wanted to see you like that. Then what is the conclusion You are a coward, and the people who have seen you are wrong. Can you refute?”

“What do you know?”

As Charlotte said, in the end I couldn’t refute anything.

I just repeat what I said.

“Oh, yes. I do not know. At most, I haven’t seen him in a week, so what do I know? But this much I can say. I do not resent you.”

“… Yes?”

“Master is dead. You sacrificed yourself for the students of Arcana. If you feel guilty there, there must be a reason. But i don’t hate you Even if Master died because the plan you designed went awry, this feeling won’t change. Master lived for the students for half his life and died for the students. I don’t want to do anything that insults that will.”

How can you say that?

You’d rather resent me.

Curse Dean Ender dead because I misplanned it.

Why are you forgiving me?

“And you are mistaken. In the end, what I sacrificed for you was not you, but Master’s decision. It’s natural for us to protect you guys who haven’t even had a coming-of-age ceremony. I don’t know what your plans are, but you know this for sure.”

I lost a bit of strength in Charlotte’s hand that was holding my back.

And then she quietly patted my head.

As if giving comfort.

“… Me too. I also wanted to do better.”

“… Okay.”

As for what I felt from that touch, I involuntarily started pouring out my thoughts.

“I don’t only know information about Avatar. I’m not a prophet, but I know the future of this world. He knows everything from the reason why the war with them starts to the end.”

“Yes.”

“And in that future, there is no Reina.”

Because Reina appeared as a villain in the original story.

“I didn’t like that. Why must he die? Her personality is cold, inflexible, and strict, but she works harder than anyone else and is actually more kind than anyone else. Why does she have to die as a bad guy?!

… So I thought of changing the future. I thought that I should work hard and change the future by working hard. Other people are fine no matter what. She vowed to create a future where Reina would survive and be as happy as Reina.

But before I knew it, there were more and more precious people around me. To me, who had nothing, I had so many precious ties, and there was me who thought it would be nice if no one died.

Once I realized that, I decided to work harder and harder and do my best to create a perfect ending. Because I know the future I thought I could definitely do it.

But this is the result. In the future I know, people who won’t die are dead. A guy like me changed the future and it ended up like this.

Why is it me? There are so many people who are greater than me, so why is it me!

… I should have known the subject from the beginning. I should have realized that even if a guy like me tried hard, things wouldn’t get better. By the time you realize that, it’s already too late.

Because the dead don’t come back.”

I slowly raised my head and looked at Charlotte.

She was still looking down at me, expressionless.

“Then I will give up. From now on, I will not do anything and wait until everything is over. That’s the best option I can make.”

“… Okay.”

After hearing all of my story, Charlotte slowly rose from her seat.

“There were some things I couldn’t understand, but if you really mean it, I understand.”

“Thank you.”

“But let me tell you one last thing: if everything you say is true, I think what you are doing right now is only turning your back on responsibility.”

“I know, I do.”

“If you change your mind even once in a while, come to the dean’s office. At least until this week, I intend to stay in Arcana. It looks like I’ll be busy with follow-up next week.”

“I will think about it.”

“… Lastly, sorry for being too harsh. If everything you said is true, you are in a worse situation than I am right now.”

With those words, Charlotte left the room.

Obviously, I confessed all my feelings, but I didn’t feel refreshed at all.

On the contrary, I felt more frustrated.

I couldn’t figure out what the reason was.

Four days have passed since Charlotte came.

I haven’t met anyone in the meantime, I’ve been staying in my dorm room.

Leon and Atal came to see me several times, but I sent them all away saying that I had something to think about.

Of course, that was an excuse.

Because I had no thoughts or plans.

I just want to go back to my hometown as soon as possible.

I wanted to get away from the center of the story as much as possible.

“It’s eight o’clock already.”

It was as if I had gone back to before I was possessed by this world.

A life of lying in bed doing nothing except for eating.

Well, there is a difference in that at that time it was inevitable.

Still, I’ve never been particularly bored.

Because boredom is the feeling that occurs when someone who was able to do something in the first place becomes unable to do it.

There was no way I, who couldn’t do anything in the first place, could feel that kind of emotion.

I still remember that time and spent time doing nothing.

Unlike then, there were many things I could do with this body, so it wasn’t as comfortable as before.

“… Good night.”

Recently, I tend to fall asleep at this time.

The life of waking up and not doing anything until the evening somehow ate away at the mind, and mental fatigue brought sleep.

Even now, while I am thinking like this, my eyes slowly….

“Ike.”

Just before I caught a cold, my consciousness was awakened by the sound of her voice.

“I’d like to talk to you for a minute. Is that okay?”

At Reina’s request, I quietly swallowed.

After that day, I didn’t speak to Raina once for 10 days.

I didn’t specifically avoid Reina.

Basically, in Arcana, going to the dormitory of the opposite s*x is prohibited, and I only lived in the dormitory except for the moment I went to the funeral.

But since Raina came to visit her directly, she couldn’t refuse.

Because I had something I wanted to say in the first place.

I quietly got out of bed, dressed up lightly, and opened the door.

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Sure.”

With such a greeting, I handed over the refreshments to Reina.

Reina smiled lightly and nodded her head.

… What did you come to talk about?

“Are you okay? You look very exhausted.”

The story started with Reina’s worries.

It’s haggard, la.

By my standards, this is enough for my health.

Of course, I skipped several meals while taking a break from training recently, so comparing it to my body so far, it might be fair to say that I am haggard.

“No problem. I just took a little break from training.”

“… I’m glad if that’s really the case.”

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

At my question, Reina opened her eyes wide for a moment, surprised, then bit her lip.

Did I do something wrong?

“Is something wrong?”

“Ummm, no. The story I was going to tell was, first of all, about what to do next.”

“… Okay?”

“Yes.”

I’m glad.

Because that’s what I wanted to talk about with Reina.

I’m sure Reina will understand.

“Did you hear that Charlotte-sama will be inaugurated as the dean of Arcana this time?”

“Yes. I overheard it.”

“And from now on, Arcana said that she will go on a long-term hiatus.”

“I heard that too.”

“Then you must have heard that schools will be closed for a long time, but the students will not be sent back to their parents’ homes, right?”

I nodded at Reina’s words.

Because it was Charlotte who told me the story in the first place.

“The intentions are good and the justification is sufficient, but the public opinion is not so good.”

“I guess so.”

In this incident, senior Andrew lost his right arm.

The cause was the judgment that Arcana sent the students to the battlefield anyway, and that meant that even if they remained in Arcana, their safety could not be guaranteed.

In that case, you might think that it would be better to be protected by the family.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that’s the correct answer.

“And yesterday, I got a letter from my father.”

“Dear Duke?”

“Yes. Even if schools were closed, it was said that it would be safer not to return to the home. You said you would leave the choice to me.”

“Perhaps he is right.”

“Ike. What do you want to do?”

Raina looked at me at the same time as she said that.

What answer does she really want from me?

Her purple eyes did not move as if she had the answer she wanted from me.

“I….”

Yes. Let’s talk.

You never know. Reina, she might be thinking the same thing as me.

It could be that you came to me because you wanted an answer like that in the first place, right?

“Reina.”

“Yes.”

If it’s Raina who says she likes me, she’ll definitely understand, and she’ll smile kindly.

“Let’s run away together.”

“… Huh?”

“I am not talking about running away for the rest of my life. Avatar, let’s leave the empire even until those guys are wiped out. There’s no guarantee that Arcana will be safe, that even if you go back to your hometown, you won’t be swept away, right?”

“You are right, but….”

“We are still students. Both Dean Ender and Lady Charlotte said there was no reason to go to the battlefield. Then it’s okay to run away. Yes?”

“But Miss Sophia, Her Highness Leon, and the others will remain in Arcana….”

“hahahaha. Those people should stay. When such great people fall out, the Empire is a really big deal. Of course, Reina, that doesn’t mean you’re not talented. But it’ll be fine if one person is left out. Needless to say, a guy with no talent like me.”

“… You’re not kidding, are you serious?”

“Of course I mean it. If you come back to the Empire later, then I will apologize to everyone. I will take full responsibility. So let’s build an empire together.”

If Reina remains in Arcana, and I go back to my hometown alone or leave the empire, all my efforts to save Reina may be in vain.

I never want to see that much.

So I want you to run away from the empire with me.

“… Ike. I think I can go anywhere with you.”

“I think so too.”

“But I’m sorry to say that I will leave the empire, but I will decline.”

After hearing her answer, she stopped thinking for a moment.

What the hell, why?

“You don’t believe me?”

“That can’t be. I believe in you more than anyone else.”

“Then why?”

“Because I think you will regret it if you accept the offer now and build an empire together.”

“I have no regrets.”

If only I could save you.

“But Ike.”

“Yes.”

“Then why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

“… What?”

Listening to Reina’s words, I quietly turned my gaze to the mirror on the wall.

There I am, trying to cover up the twisted corners of my mouth somehow….

“I don’t want to see Ike, my dearest, suffer with regret.”

So I’m sorry, Reina said with a kind smile.

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