I Really Didn’t Want to be a Savior

The old man's expression has changed somewhat in these photos.

In one of the photos, the two old men were smiling happily.

In another photo, the two of them had tears in their eyes, but when facing the camera, they habitually forced out a smile that was uglier than crying.

Chen Feng put down the photo and thought of the few lines of description in the description of the situation.

On September 15, 1998, the Sichuan-Sichuan Military Region, which had successfully completed its flood fighting and rescue mission... company commander Comrade Chen Feng and health worker Comrade Liang Yun encountered a landslide on their way back home and unfortunately died.

Since joining the army, these two comrades... are now posthumously recognized as martyrs and awarded second-class merit...

In 2007, Chen Feng's grandmother Zhou Xianxiu died of illness at the age of 65.

Chen Feng's grandfather, Chen Mo, is still alive and living alone in Sichuan-Shu County. He is 81 years old this year. He has been in poor health in recent years and has been hospitalized from time to time.

As he recalled it, Chen Feng's hands suddenly started shaking unconsciously.

He turned away sharply and looked to the side.

Lu Wei did not disturb him.

After a long time, Chen Feng put the materials back into the document bag and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Isn't it a waste of effort to investigate this matter?"

Lu Wei: "Well, it's okay. I don't know the specific details. The suspect has also been caught. Do you want to talk to her?"

Chen Feng thought for a while, "Forget it, it's all over."

"I have always been curious before. I actually know about your past. You are obviously not a soldier, but now you give me a strong military atmosphere. You are not the kind of recruit who has never been on the battlefield. And you have always had this temperament. It’s getting stronger and stronger. I thought it might be an illusion before, but now I know it’s innate.”

Chen Feng nodded: "Maybe. My adoptive father's surname is also Chen, and he named me Chen Feng. My dad is also named Chen Feng. Maybe... it is really destined by God. He has not finished serving as a soldier, and I will do it. Dang. I won’t embarrass him.”

"Stop it, you can't join the army now. Others won't agree if you want to. You'd better continue writing your songs and doing research."

Chen Feng: "We can talk about the future later."

Chen Feng recalled that when he went to the future twice before, Private Chen Feng's origin was Shuzhou.

At that time, he was still a little puzzled. He was obviously not from Shu, so why did he always have trouble with this place.

Now he understands that fate has been giving him hints from the beginning.

Lu Wei nodded, looked him up and down, and sighed unconsciously: "It's incredible, your natural temperament is too strong."

Chen Feng laughed, "It's not completely natural, it still has to be practiced. It took me a lot of life to practice it."

"What the hell! Do you think I haven't seen your file or something?"

"Really, why don't you believe me when I tell you the truth?"

Lu Wei couldn't laugh or cry, "Tell me, how many lives?"

Chen Feng pretended to think seriously, "There must be hundreds of billions."

Now Lu Wei's eyes rolled up to the sky.

There was nothing she could do against him, so Lu Wei said helplessly: "Why are you driving again?"

Chen Feng: "I..."

Not daring to say anything anymore, he quickly started to dig into his meal. At the same time, he took out his mobile phone and called Meng Xiaozhou, asking Meng Xiaozhou to book a direct flight ticket to Sichuan for him immediately.

"I'm sorry that I can't eat slowly with you today. I'll finish eating early and go to Shuzhou to see my grandpa."

Lu Wei: "Then?"

"Then I will buy an apartment there and a private jet, and then I will come to Hanzhou only if I have something to do."

Lu Wei was shocked, "Hiss..."

"One day, one day, I am lost. The old man has been sad for twenty-one years. I want to make him happier."

However, everything was Chen Feng's beautiful vision, which could not be realized after all.

Destiny is never perfect, full of shortcomings of one kind or another.

When he arrived in Sichuan County, he went straight to the community where Chen Mo lived and inquired, only to learn that Chen Mo had entered the ward of the county hospital again this morning.

Chen Feng quickly turned around and headed straight to the hospital.

Arriving at the inpatient building, others said it was on the fifth floor, but the elevator had just reached the third floor. Chen Feng turned around and rushed into the stairs, ignoring the shock and walking upstairs as fast as lightning.

When he arrived at the door of the ward, he saw doctors and nurses already standing outside.

He didn't dare to ask. The content of these people's conversations already told him the answer.

Doctor: "He wouldn't let me accompany him. He said he wanted to be alone. The elderly man really couldn't survive this time."

The nurse rubbed her eyes and said, "Oh."

Another nurse's eyes were also red, "Actually, I thought Grandpa Chen was dead last year, but I didn't expect him to survive."

"He said he had to wait for his grandson to come back and didn't want to leave."

"It's been twenty-one years, how can I wait."

"He was only three years old when he was lost. He probably doesn't remember anything."

"After all, I should be twenty-four years old now. If I could get it back, I would have gone back long ago."

"Where is Grandpa Chen's grandson now? I forwarded it to Moments for him before, but it was of no use at all."

"Who knows. I have also transferred and even registered online for him."

"well."

"Teacher Liu, what did Grandpa Chen just say?"

Doctor: "He said he is still unwilling to give up, but he also knows that there is nothing he can do this time. He just feels a little regretful and reluctant to let go."

Doctors and nurses have seen a lot of life, old age, illness and death, and usually don't have too many psychological fluctuations.

But Mr. Chen Mo's story is well known in the hospital.

Starting about five or six years ago, the old gentleman, whose health was deteriorating, became a frequent visitor to the hospital.

Many times the doctors thought he wouldn't be able to survive, and the orphanage and funeral home were preparing for funeral arrangements. But every time, he miraculously regained his energy and regained his composure.

He can persist until now only in one breath.

He always said that there were not many people in his family and he had few relatives.

If I leave, my baby will come back and see nothing. How sad will it be?

I, Lao Chen, was also a tough guy who carried a gun back then. I was not afraid of bullets and bullets. If I said I wouldn't die, I wouldn't die.

Both black and white are afraid of me.

Everyone also hopes that this stubborn old man's dream will come true.

But after all, time is the most ruthless blunt knife in the world, and no one can defeat it.

No matter how strong the old man is, he holds on year after year, half-stepping into the gate of hell and breaking out again and again. There will always be a day when he has to admit defeat.

The hope that his dreams will come true is getting slimmer and slimmer.

Now he was finally forced to give up.

Chen Feng swallowed his saliva and asked, "Is Chen Mo in there? How is the situation?"

The doctor looked at him slightly surprised, "Are you...?"

"I am his grandson, Chen Feng."

Everyone: "What!"

Thirty seconds later, Chen Feng appeared in front of the hospital bed.

The old man didn't know that he had come in. He was lying softly on the half-rolled hospital bed.

On the cabinet next to the hospital bed were apples that had been peeled for an unknown period of time and were already somewhat oxidized and blackened.

There is a bowl next to it, which contains the leftover glutinous rice balls that the old man ate when he got up in the morning.

This has been his habit for many years, but unfortunately he couldn't finish it this time.

The old man put his hands in front of his chest, intertwined his fingers, tilted his head slightly, and looked out the window with turbid eyes.

The sun was just right outside the window, shining on the elm trees.

The breeze blows and the branches sway slightly.

Compared with twenty years ago, the old man's face now has many more ravine-like wrinkles.

His expression was dull, but his teeth were clenched tightly.

He was breathing hard, but his breathing continued to weaken.

The frequency of the fluorescent beats on the heartbeat monitor next to him was slowing down little by little, but as his chest lifted every time he took a hard breath, it would speed up slightly.

The old man who said he just wanted to be alone and was ready to face death quietly and calmly still refused to give up.

Chen Feng slowly approached and said softly, "Grandpa, I'm back."

The old man turned his head sharply.

He first looked at Chen Feng blankly.

The turbidity in his eyes quickly dissipated at a speed visible to the naked eye.

An indescribable smile bloomed on his face, which was full of wrinkles and dark spots.

He opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but there was a continuous sound of "ho-ho" in his mouth, as if there was thick phlegm.

He seemed speechless.

He suddenly raised his right hand and stretched it towards Chen Feng's face.

The rough touch fell on Chen Feng's face like a knife, but he did not avoid it.

Chen Feng had a lot to say in his heart, but he couldn't say it out loud.

"Ho ho! Ho! Cough! Bah!"

The old man suddenly sat up straight and spat to the side. He turned back to look at Chen Feng.

He could finally make a sound in his throat.

His voice is like a bell, and his smile is like an epiphyllum blooming.

"Ha! Hahaha! You're back!"

"Well, I'm back."

The old man looked at him with wide eyes, "You didn't lie to me, they didn't find someone to impersonate you. You and your father look like they are the same."

As the old man spoke, he scraped Chen Feng's face with his hands.

"What's your name now?"

"Chen Feng."

"Is your surname still Chen?"

"Um."

"Hahahahaha!"

The old man laughed wildly, and the smile on his face became brighter and brighter, but two unstoppable tears suddenly welled up in his eyes.

He quickly raised his left hand again and rubbed his eyes desperately, "No, no, this thing is blocking my eyes. I can't even see you clearly. I need to take another look."

Chen Feng sat down next to him, "It's okay. I'm rich now and can cure it. Grandpa, please get well soon and I'll let you see enough later."

The old man shook his head again, "No, that's enough. You know your own business. If I don't leave, the Lord of Hell will have to give up his job. It's okay, I have enough in this life anyway."

Chen Feng did not answer this question.

The old man asked again: "Are you married? Do you have children?"

"not yet."

"Do you have a partner?"

"have."

"Then you have to work harder!"

"Yeah."

The old man gradually became more excited and said loudly: "Hey, why am I asking these questions? Anyway, you are back. I will have an explanation with the Chen family and your parents after I go down."

Chen Feng wants to say that it's not time for you to go down yet, but it's meaningless to say this at this time.

The old man came to touch his face again, "Thank you for your hard work, baby. You have suffered a lot, right?"

Chen Feng: "It's... not bad."

"Grandpa is sorry for you. He shouldn't have left you in the care of the turtle grandson, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten lost."

"It's okay. I'm not coming back."

Old man: "Well, it's not too late to come back, just right."

After saying these words, the old man suddenly lay down softly, and even the hand that scratched Chen Feng's face was unable to drop.

Chen Feng bit his lips tightly and squeezed his hand.

He spoke slowly and feebly, but he was still lecturing others, "Why cry! A man who bleeds without crying! Director Lin once said that birth, old age, sickness and death are laws, and no one can escape them. I am not afraid of death, I am only afraid of not dying. Meaning. Don’t you think I’m smiling happily now?”

"But you cry first."

"I'm almost dead, what's wrong with crying? You're different, you still have a long life."

"Um."

Old man: "Chen Feng."

"exist."

"Actually, I shouldn't have preached to you as soon as we met. But when you were little, I didn't have time to teach you the principles of life, and I lost it first. I was afraid that if I didn't teach you, it would be too late."

Chen Feng: "Grandpa, tell me and I will listen."

"Remember, don't let down the people who are kind to you, and act according to your conscience. Don't hate your own life, some things are destined. Look at me, I have been waiting for you for twenty years, and I am completely satisfied in these few minutes. ”

"Um."

"Your father is a well-known man, and your mother is also a well-known female man. They did what they should do. Don't blame them for not taking care of you when you grew up."

"No wonder."

"You are also a well-known man now. My old Chen family only produces strong men. I can see that you have something on your mind, something big, but you will definitely be able to withstand it. No matter what happens to you in the future, you want to Think of what I said."

The old man raised his hand again and hung it on Chen Feng's neck, "I'm leaving."

Chen Feng couldn't answer.

"But you really don't need to be sad. I don't regret it at all. There are only so many words I have to tell you in my life. Everything else is nonsense. It doesn't matter if you didn't hear it."

Chen Feng: "Yeah."

Old man: "I'm really gone."

The hand dropped.

The heartbeat monitor beeped continuously, which was extremely harsh.

Chen Feng sat on the chair for a long time.

Grandpa looked exactly like the best version of him in his imagination.

But the time we spent together was too short.

It was so short that he didn't even react, and he had already lost this happiness.

For a moment, he really wanted to rush out and ask the thief God why this was happening.

What did he do wrong to deserve this kind of punishment?

But he suddenly realized that there is no God in the world.

If I had to say yes, it would be him.

He thought again of the old man's incredible heroism and chicness.

I don’t know if the old man is just pretending because he is afraid of being sad, or if he is really born with such a hard heart.

But this question will never be answered.

Do the Chen family only produce strong men?

Chen Feng looked at Chen Mo who had closed his eyes.

He may have seen something in himself that others could not see.

Will I be able to hold on...?

Doctors and nurses filed in outside.

Chen Feng stood up, took off his hat, looked back at everyone, and bowed deeply, "Thank you."

"Chen Feng!"

Someone recognized him at a glance.

Chen Feng nodded, "It's me."

Eight days later, Chen Feng quietly returned to Hanzhou.

His trip to Sichuan and Sichuan did not notify anyone except Lu Wei.

In the past few days, Lu Wei, who knew about it, called him from time to time, seemingly wanting to ask about his situation and have a casual chat.

Chen Feng knew her purpose, probably to enlighten him.

In fact, he personally felt that it was not necessary. With such a handsome and heroic grandfather, he couldn't even feel sad even if he wanted to.

After the burial, he originally planned to wait until after May 26 and return to Hanzhou when he returned to reality next time. He would stay here for a few more days and take a walk every day, just to relax and prepare for this operation.

However, something happened in Hanzhou, and on May 22, he finally left.