I Shall Be Happy

Chapter 44 - Title at the bottom*

(Historia's POV)

Half a year had passed ever since we have joined the Cadet.

For the first 3 months, we were learning the basics of the ODM gear and do basic exercise. And in the last 3 months, we have been studying about titans' nature and how to effectively kill them.

It was also during that time, that many things have changed.

Both Armin and Eren were no longer as hot-blooded as they once were. They have learned that most of the smiley faces that everyone put on, were just a farce. Once you moved away from them, they will stare at you with envy, hostility, and sometimes even fear.

For the last emotion, it was mostly directed at Thana-kun.

Once words got out that his talent was immeasurable, people began to hate him. They hated the fact that he got everything. Girls, wealth, look, and talent. During dinner time, people would jeer at him. Sometimes, people even went as far as molesting his girlfriends but that didn't end well. Though I'm not technically one, I was also subjected to such behavior.

That's also when Thana-kun began to distance himself away from others while becoming close to some.

It saddened me greatly at the fact that Thana-kun wasn't the slightest angry at these people. It felt like as if... he was used to all the malice around him. He simply didn't care anymore; though, he would take action if people began to take things too far.

And that's exactly what happened.

Not too long ago, I was actively harassed by 3 other girls within the dorm. Rumors began to spread that I was a 'whore' who would do anything for money. Funnily, they didn't try that trick on Mikasa and Annie since they knew it was impossible. But for me, who seemed fairly more harmless than others, I was a perfect target.

Men approached me for l.u.s.t. Women began to bother me for taking all the attention from all the men. I never asked for any of this to happen to me. None of these incidents ever take place near Thana-kun or his friends. And I have never told him a single word, even though we promised to trust each other. I didn't know why I did that. But that just prompts the bullies to attack me further.

One time, I tried to fight back. It resulted in the three girls that were the root of everything, in a near-death state.

Even though I have proven my strength, that didn't prevent others from keep trying their luck on me.

After that incident, words got out that I was a 'two-faced b*tch', who was nice in front of others, but violence in the back.

The bullying got worse.

Until...

Thana-kun saved me.

After 6 days of suffering, Thana-kun was approached by someone close to him. It was Connie.

He told Thana-kun roughly about the situation... and that's when all hell broke loose.

In just one day, he somehow identified the precise number of people that bullied me. 20 of them to be exact, 11 females and 9 males with half of them situated from a different division than ours.

I wasn't there when that happened. But from what I heard, it was a nightmare.

Someone brutally beat up those 20 people, especially the three girls that harassed me the most. 2 of them had fear deeply ingrained into their body. But the 3rd one got beaten until she became 'special' or the scientific term for it, autism. They couldn't speak a single word about the event, which ironically, lowered the number of official incidents to only 17.

Those three girls were sent back to reclaimed lands for farming, but one couldn't help but wonder if they would even be able to.

The rest of the 17 people still remained within the camp.

Strangely enough, none of them said a word about the perpetrator nor did they report it to the instructor. And neither did any people within the Cadet Corps said anything about it.

That night, I cried in his embrace.

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(Historia's POV)

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"..."

Tell what?

How could I answer him?

How could I say... just because I wanted to solve those problems myself, I didn't tell you...

How could I say I didn't want to bother you... so I broke our promise

How could I? When I don't have anything to offer... be with someone ...like him...

How could I? When he already had two girlfriends and there's no competition for me...

How could I?

How? When I loved him so much... But I don't even deserve to be together with him...

I didn't say a single word but just silently sobbing.

At least his hands were warm...

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(MC's POV)

[How? When I loved him so much... But I don't even deserve to be together with him.]

I see...

So you have been silently suffering... Historia

Even though I noticed your loneliness, I never did anything about it.

And now things had escalated this far... all because of me.

Worse... I didn't even notice your feelings for me... You have hidden them quite well Historia.

No... That was just a lie. I did notice. I just pretended I didn't know.

You were obviously hinting that you liked me.

But seeing me not reciprocating back, you have given up on pursuing me. Yet you still loved me... and that's hurting you.

And now me too...

I'm a bastard...

I knew it from the beginning.

I could have solved everything with just one snap. But I didn't.

I feigned ignorance. Thinking it was bliss.

And now my mistake... our mistakes... are hurting both of us.

The least I could do to atone for my mistakes is to distract others' attention on you by making myself look fearful.

Then... maybe people won't be afraid of you anymore.

Even if I'm viewed as a monster. You will still be you. And you are my lovely Historia...

"I'm sorry Historia... for being an idiot... For not being there for you... I wish I could have prevented any of this from happening... But I didn't... And thank you... for remaining strong. You're a strong girl Historia. You didn't give up. And that's what I love about you. You never give up."

And she cried. Crying harder than ever. She let out all the feelings bubbling up within her heart. She cried... until there was no more tear.

We hugged each other for that entire night. I never let go off her hand once.

And I made a vow. One that I wouldn't break no matter what.

〘 Even if death do us apart... I would never let anything hurt my loved one. Not anymore... At least... not when I'm here.〙

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(Historia's POV)

After that incident, Thana-kun had made it clear that I was his girlfriend.

That day... was the happiest in my entire life.

He wanted to share me his greatest secret. One that very few knows.

Maybe because it was my first love, I imagined all sorts of things. But what he showed me exceeded all my expectations.

His past. His power. His knowledge.

Everything that makes him, him.

That was when I realized, the him that I have been seeing was just a fraction of his true identity.

But that small fraction that I have been seeing, was actually the real him. The shadow of his past, though terrible, was not him

And that's all that matters.

My love for him won't change.

I have already been drowned in love after all.

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Well anyway, with his declaration of love. He now has three girlfriends: Mikasa, Annie, and now me.

Thankfully, no one bothers me anymore with Thana-kun protecting me.

During the few months within the camp, Thana-kun had been notorious for being overpowered. No one. Not even the graduates were stronger than him.

Little did anyone knows, that was just a tiny fraction of his infinite power.

Like now for example.

"Hey, Historia... What's the answer to question 3?

This is quite ridiculous but during class time, Thana-kun would occasionally pause time to cheat on questions that he doesn't know. It's not just me. Sometimes, he would blatantly copy answers from Armin or even the teacher. No one knew of course and that's why he had been getting 100/100 on every single subject.

Most of the questions that he struggles with are either history or language art though. That's one of his weaknesses. He excelled in math and physics, yet he is pretty much terrible at everything else.

"The answer to that is... During the year 743, King Fritz and his men built the three walls..."

As I explained the answer to him, I couldn't help but think that we have all the time in the world in this little space.

It's quite romantic when you think about it. Just me and him. Alone in this world.

Unlike Mikasa and Annie though, I don't really mind the idea of sharing Thana-kun.

Maybe that's because I was never taught common sense when I was a kid, but I think the bigger the family, the better it would be.

I wonder what my 179th child's name would be...

There's already Karl, John, Emilia, Charlotte, Ben, Elias, Jonas, Anna, Noah, Sofia, Lucas, Hanah, Emil, Maximillian, Finn, Mia, Hanson, Kurt, Conrad, Louise, Dan, Angeli, Emma, Korra, Erika, Melanie, Paul, Albert, Ernies, Christa...

Oh, then there's the triplet, Josh, Susanne, and Sebastian. Maybe this time it should be a quadruplet? Oh! How about a quintuplet? That's amazing!! I wonder what I should name them.

"Hey, Historia... What about this question here?"

"... It's Oscar, Felix, Liam, Leon, Luke...All part of the quintuplet..."

I was still daydreaming when I answer him. I didn't even realize what I said.

"I see... so those are the founders of the church, huh. I didn't know they were a quintuplet."

"What? No! F-forget what I said earlier. (//∇//)"

AHHHHHHHH! This is so embarrassing!!

It's gonna be quite a while until we finish going through all 50 history questions.

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Title: This is so sad. Can Historia gets 10 likes?

I really like Historia. Probably one of the most well made character in AOT.

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