I Told You I Won’t Love You Anymore

The Duke said he would repair her house from her hometown as if it was new, and he told her to inform her little sister in advance, because his wife would soon go there. The progress was confidential and should not be asked why. A warning was even added not to forget what happened to the light-mouthed in the Duke’s house.

She wondered why madam’s simple question led to such a conclusion, but there was no reason to worry about the fact that her sick sister could live in a cleaner and better environment.

But for the first time today, she felt guilty.

‘Emily, you said your sister was sick? I’ll go and heal her for you. Can you let me stay in your home instead? Only until I find a proper house. And never tell my husband. Okay?’

When she was embarrassed and couldn’t give an answer right away, the young lady was about to kneel.

Emily was swept away by the atmosphere and answered first.

‘……I’d appreciate it if you could do that. I understand.’

Even if she wanted to keep it a secret, the Duke already knew that his wife would ask for this. With a very clear understanding of what has been added.

* * *

“It’s raining quite a lot. Why don’t you leave tomorrow because the rain can be dangerous?”

He pretended to be concerned for me, but Jayden seemed to hate having to move through the rain.

“No, I have to go as soon as possible.”

When I shook my head and refused firmly, he lowered his shoulders as if he had any power and opened the umbrella.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know how it felt because I originally hated rainy days. It was the first memory of a little crybaby wandering the streets in the rain, and it was scary even on the day she almost died just before she was rescued by Mrs. Lawrence.

When it rained while I was looking for food, we would lie down with a fever for three days without anyone saying anything first. It was because I was nothing more than an ordinary kid until my magic properly manifested.

At the academy, I could stay in the dormitory even if it rained, so the situation was better, but I was depressed several times because I remembered the hard memories.

I hated rain all my life, but it was only because of Leopold that I changed my disposition.

It was probably right after graduation.

On that day, I was writing a research journal in my private study. The sound of rain hitting the window broke my concentration, so I let go of my pen with a little irritation.

The curtain won’t cover the sound, but I approached the window with the intention of reducing it even a little. As soon as I reached out and pulled the curtain, a black silhouette suddenly appeared in the distance.

A person who wore only a thin white tunic despite the rain and rode a black horse that looked exactly like his hair color.

In surprise, I covered my mouth with one hand and pressed my face close to the window. The sky was completely dark in the meantime, foreshadowing further rain.

As if warming up, Leopold patted his horse a couple of times and circled around the garden. Then, he spurred in an instant and ran to the west gate leading to the hunting ground.

In embarrassment, I ran down to the garden where he was, without even thinking of calling anyone. Even though I know I can’t catch him who’s already gone anyway, of course.

Peter, who was coming up from the opposite direction, opened his eyes slightly round and asked curiously.

‘Where are you going in such a hurry, healer?’

‘Oh, just now, the duke, it’s raining so hard, and he rode out! He’s only wearing a very thin outfit!’

He shook his head up and down as if he had been convinced as I was rambling in a hurry.

‘It’s a very old habit of the Duke. He likes rainy days quite a lot. So you don’t have to worry.’

‘No, still, he’ll catch a cold in no time.’

‘Can’t the healer heal him for us? And actually…….’

He smiled as if I could see him, who was taking a pause as I was worried.

‘The Duke is so strong that he has never caught a cold. He’ll probably do that for the rest of your life.’

I’ve seen a lot of people who don’t catch a cold, so it wasn’t that strange, but the situation becomes very different when they soaked their whole body in heavy rain.

However, I couldn’t think of anything to refute the Duke’s reliable old butler, so I went back to the room with unresolved questions. Instead, I began to look out the window carefully when it rained.

Peter’s words were true, and as long as he stayed in the mansion, he went out without fail when it rained. And of course, he didn’t get sick either.

How many times have I peeped at Leopold?

One day I was curious. It’s not because I can’t help it, but because I want to get rained on.

So I looked forward to the rainy day for the first time in my life. However, only sunny days continued on the next days, as if to make me anxious when I decided to wait.

I have purposely prepared a thin summer dress to imitate him the same way and waited a month like that. As usual, the study, which was filled with the sun, then became more and more shaded.

I intuitively noticed that the time had come and changed my clothes. And I went to the opposite garden, where his movement line would never overlap with his, who was always heading to the forest.

The employees who found me in the middle looked at me with strange eyes, but thanks to my status as a healer, I was able to escape the situation with a good excuse of “experiment for research.”

The eastern garden was a space with a strong feeling that it was a well-kept field rather than a garden. The grass was always well maintained at a low height, so I could feel like I was on a picnic with just one sheet of cloth everywhere. There was a similar lawn in the academy, so I often sat and chatted with my friends, which was also a nostalgic place at that time.

In the middle of the garden stood a huge poplar tree, showing off its dignity, and I soaked in the relentless rain before reaching it.

What the hell am I doing?

I was embarrassed by the hair strands that stuck shabbily all over my face and at my damp wet dress. I quickly wrung my skirt with regret.

The funny thing was that I am much more inquisitive than prideful. Although I realized after a long time that it was my heart that started an unrequited love.

I was under the tree to avoid the rain, but I stretched out my arms for no reason. Trying to imagine how he would feel, concentrating on the sensations as the cold droplets touch my skin.

The irregular rhythm tapping my body sounded like a song, making it high and low.

I wonder if he likes this kind of tune. He seemed like he’d never enjoyed music in his life.

I thought of Leopold’s mind as I stepped out of the tree one step at a time without realizing it.

Do you feel happy in the rain? Or do you just enjoy this state of mindlessness?

I lived in the same mansion, but I never encountered him directly, perhaps because it was so large. However, I sometimes see him from afar, but I realized the meaning of the term ‘no expression’ at that time.

A gaze that has not been directed anywhere, a gaze that has no desire, and a mouth that has no intention.

At the same time, the feelings that were read from time to time were negative. He narrows his brows as if he was uncomfortable or narrows his eyes as a sign of dissatisfaction. But even that was not clear.

Looking back now, I guess that’s why the marriage was harder. Because he expressed those subtle emotions clearly only to myself…….

Anyway, I wrote a diary after returning from the day’s exploration without much result. The same behavior was repeated for quite a while after that, and my records piled up.

While my usual study of magic is more objective and clear through the diary, the study of the duke in the rain only became ambiguous as if to accurately divide the color of the rainbow.

The more I tried to define his behavior, the more I thought about him, and the more I thought about him, the more my research journal turned into a novel.

By the time I realized that what I felt was love, I also came to like the rain. Maybe because Leopold is completely different from his love of rain.

I was excited when it rained in the morning. If I walk around near the window, I’ll see a welcome silhouette even though it’s from the back.

I also enjoyed waiting for him to come back with his wet hair. Only then, could I peek at a completely different face. I think I’m relieved, I’m satisfied…….

“Madam, let’s get on the carriage now.”

Jayden, who opened the carriage door and stretched out his arm, pulled me out of the past, staring blankly at the rainy sky.

“……Leopold must be busy today.”

“The aristocratic conference could be prolonged, so he told me not to wait and serve you well.”

“I see. Let’s go now.”

An answering mouth spoke.

I don’t know what’s going on inside, but I thought he’d come to see me off because he was being pretty friendly on the outside. I hoped we could say goodbye.….

I was disillusioned with myself, who was deceived every time and had expectations again.

“Let’s go.”

The door closed and the hoof of the horse grew faster and faster.

Did I really want this breakup? I can’t even bid him goodbye and I have to leave like I’m running away……?

If only I could wash my weak heart away in that rain.

Even though it was my choice for a new start, I felt like I was going to cry, so I just looked at the tip of my toes.

Now, I’ll make sure I won’t like the rain again.