I Want To Be Your First

Drandel. The Imperial capital where people of all races gather to dream of wealth and glory, the city where the sun never sets.

An extravagant four-wheeled carriage drew the attention of passersby as it entered a crowded commercial district located at the south of Drandel, which rarely saw two-wheeled wagons. What attracted more wide-eyed gazes, was the emblem on the door of the black coloured carriage. 

With a castle tower and rose vines elegantly entwined from underneath, this coat of arms was famous enough that it would be easily recognised beyond the borders of the Empire. 

The ruling family of the oldest castle, guardians of the Empire, the White Rook.

The Duchy of Aegis. 

Mindful of the gazes filled with admiration, the coachman loosened the reins in his hand and slowed the carriage down. Seated within, Ariel leaned close to the window, looking at the grayish world.

Gray, gray, black, and black again. 

A landscape filled with shadows and darkness might bore others, but Ariel didn’t mind. Her eyes twinkled as she was captivated by the scenery outside. Passing through the commercial district and beyond the artist’s avenue, the carriage stopped at the largest mansion within the residential area of the affluent, Diamond Hills.

The black carriage contrasted deeply with the alabaster mansion, known as the White House. At the end of the long garden, a large fountain with a sculpture of a siren holding a scale greeted the carriage. Water gushed out of the fountain strongly. 

“Wow…it’s beautiful.”

Ariel sighed in admiration at the sculpture’s lithe silhouette. Eventually, the carriage stopped.

“It is nice to meet you, Princess. I am the butler, Wilhelm.”

The butlers and servants who were waiting at the entrance bowed deeply and paid their respects. 

Ariel carefully stepped out of the carriage under the escort of the butler. She had heard rumours that the Janssels were wealthy, but she never thought that the mansion in the capital, which was not their main residence, would be this huge in size. She tried not to be nervous, but her tensed shoulders would not settle. 

Ariel tightened her grip on the cane in her hand and steadied herself. 

“The Lord is waiting. Would it be alright if I guided you straight to the office?” 

“Yes. Please lead the way.”

She tried to speak calmly, but she couldn’t stop the waver in her voice at the end of the sentence. Ariel coughed in vain and followed the butler as if nothing had happened. 

The sound of a clattering cane resounded particularly loudly through the silent hallway. On the other hand, the presence of the butler, who walked a step ahead of her, could hardly be felt. 

Feeling embarrassed for no reason, Ariel spoke to the butler cheerfully.

“The mansion is very big. It must have been hard to manage.” 

“You’re flattering me. I think that this place would be like a villa when compared to the Duchy of Aegis where the princess lives.”

“The Ducal castle is big because it houses the residents of the castle. The capital’s mansion is much smaller than this.”

At her quiet refutation, the butler said with a slight smile, “You don’t have to be humble.”

“After the wedding, the princess will become the hostess of this mansion. I hope you will get used to it as soon as possible. For your reference, the mansion in Pahar is much bigger than here.” The butler smiled as he spoke, but Ariel couldn’t laugh.

She was fine when she left home, but the reality of her upcoming marriage and future status as the hostess of this mansion was surreal to her. Ariel exhaled lightly as she reaffirmed her shaky resolve.

Berthwald Janssel.

It has been two months since she accepted his marriage proposal, and Ariel had arrived in his mansion today for her wedding preparations. 

“Lord, the princess has arrived.”

The office doors were large as a result of the huge vertical distance between the floors. The butler opened the door and entered, before looking at Ariel’s vacant gaze. 

Ariel held the hem of her skirt, discreetly wiping the sweat off her hands. She repeated internally, ‘Let’s not be nervous, let’s not be nervous,’ before stepping into the office.

Nevertheless, she could not lift her head, so she took a step at a time to the middle of the room with her head bowed. As soon as the door closed, a rather low-pitched voice  reached her ears.

“It’s the first time meeting you privately. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Berthwald.”

His voice was a nice baritone, none of his words entered Ariel’s head. She fiddled with the cane, unable to shake off her nervousness. The reason why she keeps getting nervous…is probably due to that color. Ariel hesitated for a while, before speaking in a small voice while staring at the floor.

“It’s nice to see you too, Count.”

His presence grew closer with the sound of a chair being pushed. There was a knock on the desk, followed by a soft voice.

“I heard that you have quite the unwavering personality, but the princess seems to be wary of unfamiliar places. Please don’t be nervous.” 

“Sorry. Well, I’m a little shy. This is the second time that we’ve met…” At her words, he could not help but laugh, and spoke in a slightly lower voice.

“If you’re not planning on digging a hole in the ground, stop hiding your face and look at me in the eyes. From now on, we’ll be seeing each other every day, but we can’t be called a couple if you keep your head bowed down like that, can we?”

Following the tension, a heavy silence filled the office.

‘Don’t be nervous. There’s no need to be nervous.’ Ariel took in deep breaths and then carefully raised her head. At the terribly dark, blood-red silhouette sitting in the middle of her achromatic field of vision, she shrunk back into herself.

As expected. It was just like what she saw during the banquet the other day.

Red…

No, it wasn’t exactly red either. As if immersed in darkness and removed, this blood-red silhouette gave off a gloomy atmosphere that was disrespectful to the colour red.

How should she describe that color? Surely…there must be a name.

Although the public would term this color as ‘burgundy’, for Ariel who was dealing with fragmented information on colours, she had no choice but to think of the colour as simply a ‘dark red’.

…Dark red.

Most of the people she met in her life were gray. It was very rare to find a person with such a distinct color. Of all things, the first exception that she met had such a dark red colour, and he also happened to be the person she was marrying. Her heart was pounding with anxiety. As if to represent her feelings, the light in Ariel’s gray eyes darkened.

“Allow me to explain the upcoming itinerary to you. I will be willing to answer any questions you may have about anything you’re curious about, so please feel free to speak.”

The burgundy silhouette spoke in a low voice. Contrary to the unsettling red color, his low voice had a calm tone. After looking at the flickering red shape in front of her, Ariel cleared her throat 

“Yes. Please speak.”

“The wedding will be held next Friday.  You’ll have to come to the capital every social season in the future, so I hope you get used to this mansion before the wedding. Approximately… in about ten days.”

“In ten days?”

“Yes. As soon as the wedding is over, we will be leaving for the County. It would be better to prepare your mind in advance.”

Ariel lifted her head up with a bewildered expression on her face.

She couldn’t believe that there were only ten days left until the wedding. Had she known that she was leaving so soon, she would have prepared this and that beforehand.

“We’re leaving right away? There isn’t anything else to do in the capital?” 

“It’s not even the social season, so there’s no reason to stay in the capital. Or is there any other reason you don’t want to go down to the County?” 

“No, it’s not that.” She lowered her head to hide her darkened complexion. Her flowing ebony hair hid her little face in the darkness. Her gray eyes fluttered softly, unable to hide her agitation.

She let out her sigh, carefully so as not to be heard by Berthwald. He wasn’t a dull person that couldn’t even understand the meaning of her sigh without elaboration. He closed his mouth for a moment and looked at Ariel, then spoke in a heavy voice. 

“The Princess does not seem to like this marriage.” 

There was a hint of dissatisfaction in his subdued voice.

It doesn’t matter whether she likes it or not. But Ariel did not speak aloud her true thoughts, and waved her hand frantically in denial instead.

“That’s not what I meant, I am satisfied!” 

“As a noble daughter of the Duke of Aegis, I know that it will not be very pleasant for you to marry a man of lower status.” 

He commented on his status dryly.

Berthwald Janssel. The chief consul. 

The head of the Senate, where all the nobles in the Empire gathered. Although he stood at the pinnacle of the aristocratic pecking order, it was true that he was slightly lacking as a son-in-law of the Aegis family. 

A marriage between a ducal princess and a count. 

In the Imperial high society, where most of the princesses married into the Imperial family or Royal families, the morganatic marriage between Ariel and the Count was truly unprecedented. 

[Editor: Basically, Berthwald and any children between Ariel and Berthwald does not have a claim on Ariel’s succession rights, titles and property]

However, due to various reasons, both the Duchy and Ariel had broken off multiple engagements, so they didn’t intend to make a fuss about the difference in status. The nobles who knew her problem were also busy babbling, saying that it was regrettable for the Count.

…Well, she was thankful to be able to get married. It didn’t matter whether it was a count or a viscount, she was fine. However, Ariel was concerned about a different matter.

“I don’t care about that. I am grateful enough for accepting my insufficient self. But I… I can’t see your eyes…”

Ariel wiped her own eyelids with her palm. In her achromatic vision which comprises of black, gray and white, the shape of her black palms appeared and disappeared. 

While she wasn’t completely blind, she didn’t have the confidence nor a way to fully explain her perspective to others, and she didn’t want to be accused of being a witch. As such, she called herself blind.

Ariel lowered her gaze down and continued speaking. “The Count must have heard that my nickname is the blind princess.”

The blind princess, Ariel Aegis.

When it comes to the Duke of Aegis, the nobles would say, ‘Is the blind princess still unmarried?’

At first, the jokes that started with ‘That lady inside the house was blind’, but it soon led to ‘The blind princess’s engagement was cancelled’, and concluded with “How was such a defect born in the Aegis family?”

Due to the existence of the defect, Ariel, the Duke of Aegis, who contributed to the founding of the Empire and the most powerful ruler of the North, had been reduced to the subject of ridicule by the nobles.

Even the Duke had to endure such mockery, and so will Count Janssel.

“It’s not something I should say to you who accepted the proposal, but the Count has risen to the rank of consul… If someone like me is called the Countess, I’m worried that I would be entering your family pointlessly.”