I Will Protect You This Time

Episode 19

(I Am Here Now)

! Warning !

This episode contains strong language, violence and abuse which might be traumatizing for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

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The rattling sound of carriages can be heard.

Neigh~

The horses are neighing now and then as if to break the depressing sound of the blizzard.

It is moving on the dark snowy road. If it wasn't for the Speranza Horses, it wouldn't have been possible to move an inch in this weather. As their fire melted up the snow.

Darkness is covering the whole forest. I wonder how the Knights are moving in this darkness. Even though the horses' fire lit up the area a bit, it's still not enough to see what's ahead of the road. Probably because they know this forest very well. Or is it because of their eyesight… They are beastmen after all. Their eyesight is better than ours.

A low-lit lamp is hanging inside the carriage. The lamp is swinging because of the carriage's movement and making shadows play around.

Whoo~

The sound of a blizzard…

I can hear one thing more than the rattling noise of the carriage or the horses' neighing or howling of the blizzard.

Huff~ Huff~

The calm breathing of Leonus…

As he put his head on my shoulder, I could hear his breathing clearly. His breath that touches my neck sometimes makes my whole body tremble.

Even though I was nervous at the moment he put his head on my shoulder. But now… I don't feel anything.

His dark black hair, his bewitching deep blue eyes that turn red sometimes… makes him so mysterious.

Why are you behaving so well towards me? Is it because I am important for the two nations? Is it because I am the First Princess of Loire? Do you know that I can't use magic? Do you love Rubena? I don't know… I don't know anything!

I feel so lonely! Even though you are beside me! Even though I feel the warmth of another person! I feel so miserable!

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Huff~ Huff~

I am lying on a soft fluffy thing. But it's really cold. What is it? I want to know. But I am so tired! I don't even have the strength to open my eyes!

After a while, I opened my eyes. It felt like it took everything… every ounce of my strength just to open my eyes. I looked above and saw only a white sky.

Where am I? What is this place! I was inside the carriage a moment ago! Is this a dream?

No matter where I look, all I can see is plain land covered with white snow till the horizon.

I am wearing a white dress with untied hair. I hurriedly got up and started wandering around. But wherever I go, it's still the same. There's no end to this place.

Whip*

I flinched! A familiarly terrifying sound…

No way! I must have misheard it!

"You b*tch!"

No! It's not possible! I tightly closed my eyes and covered my ears with both hands.

Whip* Whip*

Aghh!

It hurts!

I opened my eyes! No way! Why am I here? I was in the Emperor's study. Emperor Mathias… was there while holding a whip. He was looking at me with a disgusted look. As if he was looking at a heinous monster.

"You Fu*ing wh*re!"

Whip* Whip*

Aghh~

Sob* Sob*

"Shut the f*ck up!"

"Why?"

Why am I here? How am I here? I left this hell! This hellish place…! So why am I still here?!

"'Why'? 'Why' you say? Hahaha!"

Whip* Whip*

My skin was ripped. Warm red blood was flowing out of that ripped place.

"Aghh!"

"Shut up!"

Sob* Sob*

"Why? Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you? Just why?"

I screamed and said.

The Emperor then clenched my hair with his one hand and said,

"Hahaha! Do I need any reason to beat a monster like you?!".

Whip* Whip*

"I apologize! Forgive me!"

Whip* Whip*

And the Emperor continued beating me with his whip!

Sob* Sob*

Suddenly the beating stopped! I was in that white place again. But this time it was snowing.

"Princess Isabella!"

I heard a familiar voice. A voice which I loved dearly once.

"Grand Duke!"

"Princess, you don't have to come anymore."

It was his training ground. I brought a fruit basket for him. I always do. So that I could see him more often. I loved him. I hoped he would love me too.

So I tried to show my sincerity in any way possible. Even though everyone spoke Ill of me… Even though everyone else hated me… As long as he doesn't hate me, I am okay. As long as he doesn't ask me to stop, I will continue coming here. But-

"Don't come here from now on. You don't need to do this."

I felt cold. No! Don't say that! Don't! I love you! I love you so much!

"It's okay. I want to-"

"No! You don't have to."

Suddenly the place changed! And I was in a banquet hall!

Some Noblemen were speaking Ill of me in front of the Grand Duke. But he stood there silently. I broke! I was broken badly. I rushed outside and cried. Suddenly some ladies come and-

"Have some shame Lady!"

"Yeah! Don't you have any shame?"

"You know that the Grand Duke loves Princess Rubena! But you are still clutching on him like a parasite."

"No! That's not true! I-"

"Tch! You've got the nerve to deny it!"

"Just leave those two alone! Annual the engagement already!"

Splash~

A noble lady splashed her drink on me.

That night I went to His Majesty's study.

"Why are you here?"

"Greetings, Your Majesty! I have a-"

"Just hurry up and say whatever you want to. My mood was already bad! Now you made it worse with that cursed face of yours!"

"Please annual my engagement with the Grand Duke."

I bowed and said.

"What? You have the nerve to say something like that!"

"Please, Your Highness! I will do whatever you say! Just annual my engagement with the Grand Duke."

Hahaha~

"It seems like I've been too good to you recently. You need to learn your lesson."

He took the hot fireplace poker and started to beat me with that.

Bam*

Sizzle*

Wherever the poker, it burnt her skin.

Aghh~

"Please! Stop!"

"Shut up!"

Sob* Sob*

Bam* Bam*

"You can kill me if you want to. But please Your Highness break my engagement with the Grand Duke. Aghh~"

"Shut the fu*k up! You can only marry the Grand Duke in this lifetime."

Bam* Bam*

Aghh~

Sob* Sob*

My whole body turned blue. There were burning spots here and there. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Suddenly the place changed. I was in that place again. Now it started to snow heavily.

Sob* Sob*

Why? Why am I here! What is happening to me? Why is it me? Why?

Suddenly the place changed into the special room of the Royal Banquet Hall.

Stab* Stab*

"No matter where you go you can never feel peace! A monster like you!"

Stab* Stab*

Aghh~

Sob* Sob*

"Do you think that monster Crown Prince loves you? He is just using you! No one can love a monster like you! No one!"

Stab* Stab*

Aghh~

"Wherever you go! Everyone will use you! You will be hated everywhere!"

Stab* Stab*

Splatter~

The whole room was filled with blood. I want to die! Someone kill me! Help me to get out of this place! Someone! Anyone! Please~

I returned to that place again! Now there was a blizzard! I lay there with my body filled with blood! Stabbing pain, burning pain, ripped skin…

My white dress turned red! I feel so cold!

Aghh~!

Sob* Sob*

Please!

Help me! I cried loudly. My tears couldn't stop! No one was there. I was all alone!

"...ss."

"...cess."

"P…cess."

"Wak…"

"Wake up…"

"Princess! Wake up!"

Sob* Sob*

Aghh~

"Princess! What's wrong!"

"Wake up! Please!"

Whoosh~

I opened my eyes! I was in the carriage. My eyes were filled with tears. I can't stop crying.

Sob* Sob*

My whole body was trembling.

"Princess!"

Aghh~

Sob* Sob*

Slap*

I slapped and jerked off his hand.

"Go away. Don't touch me! Stop!"

Leonus hugged me tightly.

"It's okay. It's okay! Everything's okay!"

He patted my back. I tried to push him back. But he held me even tighter.

"Everything's fine now, Princess."

Pat* Pat*

"I am here now."