I Won't Accept Your Regrets

Chapter 015

 

Leaning his head against the chair head, and sighed.

 

But that alone did not relieve his boiling emotion.

 

I’m leaving the palace tomorrow. Then it’s really over.

 

The one word “end” sent a wave of heat into my heart. I didn’t know who the anger was for.

 

As the heat in his heart rose into a headache, Raymond made an angry expression and unbuttoned his shirt with a rough touch.

 

As he quietly looked at the lights in the office, he recalled what Ellie said yesterday.

 

<“You said you didn’t love me. So please. Unless you want to make me your mother. If you’re not going to care for me like Lize, then divorce me.”>

 

Ellie’s purple eyes that looked at him as if she had already resigned her position with a calm voice.

 

He couldn’t feel the warmth towards her now.  Ellie was really telling that this was the end for both of them.

 

“It’s over…”

 

He never thought such a thing would happen to us, but now that she said that this is the end, he couldn’t keep her.

 

In the first place, he had no reason to keep her.

 

I’m just sorry for all this time, be happy from now. I now could let her go with this.

 

Even though it ended badly, Ellie was a friend who kept by his side for many years.

 

I had to wish her happiness in the future.

 

“Yes, this is a good answer.”

 

Raymond straightened out his body leaning against the chair, forcing himself to organize his complicated mind. Then Ellie’s note, which was on the desk, looked at the letter again.

 

It was already known to the Empire that the divorce papers had been sent to the temple, so it was confirmed that Ellie and he were divorcing.

 

The documents sent to the temple are just mandatory procedures and will be available for confirmation within two days at the latest.

 

So if Ellie was having a hard time staying in the palace, there was no problem with her going out right away today. If he allows.

 

Raymond looked at the straight handwriting that closely resembled Ellie’s and looked at it with a complex gaze.

 

“…. tell the Empress Palace. It’s already done, so everything is done according to the Empress’s will.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

When the assistant manager left the office, Raymond had put Ellie’s letter deep into his desk drawer.

 

🌷🌷🌷

 

“Your Majesty, His Majesty, came and sent you a message.”

 

When lunch time had just finished, Helan came into the room with Raymond’s message to me.

 

“His Majesty said what?”

 

“He had done everything according to Her Majesty’s will.”

 

What I said yesterday seemed to be a complete reversal in his mind.

 

Well, it was his pride that shouldn’t be touched.

 

Suddenly, I remembered his eyes staring at me last night. His dark eyes, which were like wounded beasts.

 

Eventually, only scars remained on each other’s.

 

“Your Majesty, would you like to prepare for the departure immediately?”

 

The sudden sound of Helan’s voice made my eyes clear. Facing Helan’s brown eyes, my sense of reality returned.

 

My thoughts almost deepened with useless lingering feelings. I dropped my thoughts about Raymond and told Helan.

 

“No, there’s a place I really want to stop by before I leave the palace. “

 

I put on a cloak and left the room.

 

The knights resigned yesterday evening, so Emperor’s Palace was no different.

 

When I got off the carriage, I slowly walked there.

 

From the Imperial Palace to the least noticeable small palace.

 

“I will go alone, and you will wait here.” 

 

 I ordered the ladies who were in front of the gates of the damn old palace. 

 

The tiny palace was only known for being the palace ‘within’ The imperial palace.

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

Every time I visited this place, I was always alone, so Helan didn’t get anxious and stepped back with the ladies.

 

I pushed familiarly at the old gate of the palace.

 

Sfx: Sckkk-

 

An abandoned palace was revealed beyond the door that sounded like nails scratching a board because it was not oiled well.

 

A palace without even a name.

 

Honestly, It was just a small mansion that was called a palace, but it was the place where I had the most memories in the vast palace.

 

That’s where Raymond lived with his mother during the Former Crown Prince’s time and Late Emperor’s reign.

 

As a child, I had learned that he was a prince, hiding by the pillar of the palace’s door.

 

Since then, I went to the Imperial Palace to see him when it was time for him to be with the court lady here instead of him pulling out weeds in the courtyard.

 

At that time, Raymond’s mother used to bake cookies and tea for me.

 

Ordinary brown hair and brown eyes.  She had a common look that was seen throughout the empire, but I will never forget her face until I die.

 

When I saw the mansion, I called her name on the face that naturally came up.

 

“Lady….Loaz.”

 

<‘Today, I prepared a sweet tea that I was think our young-ae will like.’>

 

<‘Young-ae is so pretty. I can’t help but laugh when I see her.’>

(Yeongae (영애, 令愛) – lit. the beautiful and beloved. Used to refer to another person’s daughter, usually of higher position.)

 

She always smiled brightly at me, but she was always polite to me.

 

She gave birth to a prince overnight for the emperor, but the emperor refused to recognize her as a concubine because she was of a poor origin.

 

So she was the mother of a prince, but remained as a maid.

 

I wish you’d called my name at least once.

 

Even when it was only just us two, she always tried to comfortably treat me, but she was always polite.

 

She had etiquette not only for me, but also for her child, Raymond.

 

As if she learned this subject by herself.

(Lmao…lemme explain this, Commoners don’t learn how to treat the nobility or royalty the ‘right’ way, They don’t know etiquette, They are taught. This is why sometimes aristocrats call them barbaric or something else rude.)

 

She was such a foolishly nice person that she believed in the emperor and never cursed at the Crown Prince, who was a very high-ranking figure.

 

Such rude things were unspeakable.

 

It was too unfortunate, but there was nothing Raymond or I could do with her death.

 

In the beginning, the Emperor regarded Lady Loaz as his mistake, and as the  Crown Prince grew up, he wanted to trample Raymond, who gradually overshadowed his talents in swordsmanship and scholarship.

 

But no matter how talented Raymond was, the Emperor did not recognize Raymond as his son, so he always took the side of Crown Prince.

 

Thus, Lady Loaz’ execution went straight to trial.

 

If I still close my eyes, I could still imagine the miserable day, which made even a body be unable to stand up.

 

The sound of my rough breathing that ran to the palace as soon as I heard the news, and the wails of Raymond, who was crying over his mother’s clothes.

 

Years have passed, but the sorrow is still unforgettable, and when I recall that day, my heart shuddered and my eyes became moist.

 

So Raymond is no longer looking for this place anymore.

 

After Lady Loaz’ death, the Emperor shut down the door of this palace with the command of Raymond to stay in another palace nearby the Imperial Palace.

 

Although the Emperor forced this place to be closed, Raymond still never visited this place after his mother died.

 

Although he became the emperor and restored his mother’s disgraced honor, this palace was not restored, but remained closed.

 

I knew that in his mind he didn’t want to touch this place, so I didn’t say anything about it either.

 

So this palace was forgotten in everyone’s memory.

 

But I couldn’t get rid of it because I remembered it vividly.

 

So after I entered the Imperial Palace as the Empress, I occasionally stopped by here without Raymond knowing.

 

In order to comfort Lady Loaz’s soul, I would put flowers and manage the trees that contained the memories of both Loaz and Raymond.

 

As always, I put down an Elond, which blooms only in the garden of the empress’ palace, in front of the mansion.

 

Elond, Which means pure, seemed as if it would have had a good relationship with Lady Loaz, so I deliberately brought this flower every time.

 

I prayed for her for a while and soon walked to the back of the mansion.

 

<‘Ray, what is this tree?  Why is Ray’s name engraved?”>

 

<“This is a tree that my mother planted when I was born wishing well for my health. If it were to get sick, I’ll be sick. My mother always takes deep care of it with all her heart.’>

 

<“Oh…Well then in the future I’ll help Loaz take good care of it, I hate it when Ray is sick.”>

 

Raymond, a boy with a proud, happy smile, and the man I stood by appeared and disappeared in front of me like a fantasy.

 

When the childhood of laughing at each other disappeared, the cold wind passed through me.

 

She laid her hand on a thick tree. Soon, the hands were shining brightly and the trees became more lifelike.

 

The ability to breathe life into plants. This was my power that only a few people knew.

 

My power to revive and grow dead plants was close to spiritism, but it was a bit different from spiritism, not to use it as a contract any spiritual-like.

 

Anyway, I had a mysterious gift and hid it.

 

This ability, like magic and spirits, would’ve been great help in raising one’s position in the Empire, but I was already the empress of the empire, Since it was an ability without any high attack power, I thought it was nothing to be of great help.

 

However, it was enough power to save the dead tree.

 

“You were among the reasons I couldn’t throw this palace away.”

 

I was really worried that Raymond would go wrong when this tree died.

 

The condition of the tree was worse when the palace door was closed and I would occasionally come back here.

 

However, now the tree has been growing higher in the sky to regain back its  vitality.

 

I stroked the rough wood, I painted a light smile on my face.

 

“Now I can’t come here anymore so you can’t be sick. There’s no one to take care of you.”

 

It took a long time to find this tree again because of Raymond, but when I looked after the sick tree, I became attached to it.

 

“Don’t be sick.”

 

You too….Raymond too

 

Although I blamed him, I didn’t want him to be unhappy.

 

I finally stroked the rough texture and lifted my hand once more.

 

I slowly looked around the palace that I will never come again. As the red glow in the sky.

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After spending quite a long time under the tree, I finally left the palace with a look at the lonely mansion.

 

🌷🌷🌷

End Of Chapter 015