I Won't Accept Your Regrets

He took out a medical bag and examined my body.  Soon he lowered the medical equipment and said with a slight smile.

“You and your baby are both stable. If it’s like this, it won’t be a big problem if you take a boat for a long time. But just in case, I’ll prepare some medicine for motion sickness for pregnant women.”

“Ah, Your dear baby…”

Helan’s trembling voice was heard standing next to her. I glanced at Helan’s shocked face and turned to Harpen.

“Yes, please.”

“Yes, then I… I’m leaving now.”

Harpen quickly retired from the room, apparently noticing that Helan and I had something to say.

When Harpen left the room, she murmured Helan, who had been hardened by shock.

“Helan.”

Her wobbly brown eyes gradually calmed down and focused on my call.

“….Yes, Miss.”

“You just heard, but… I’m pregnant right now. Of course it’s father is His Majesty.”

“Hyop!”

Trying to hide her expression of surprise as much as possible, she closed her mouth with her hands as soon as she mentioned Raymond.

I watched her reaction like that and spoke calmly.

“Helan, you said you wanted to keep me company because you had nowhere to go. I also want you to keep supporting me. It’s not easy to leave for another country while pregnant.”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving for another country… …my lady, are you not going to tell His Majesty about this?”

I nodded at Helan’s trembling eyes.

“Yes, I’m not going to say it. And I will leave the empire with this child and raise him not as the emperor’s child, but as an ordinary one.”

I spoke firmly, exhaled a short breath, and continued.

“Helan, you know that. How brutal the Imperial Household’s battle was…… you know, your Majesty sat on the throne with all the blood in his hands.”

Helan’s face quickly hardened when the story about the rebellion came out. I kept talking calmly, looking at her like that.

“I’m not blaming His Majesty. If he hadn’t done that, the Former Crown Prince wouldn’t have let him go.”

I stopped talking for a moment and opened my lips again when I remembered the misery of that time.

“That’s how quick the imperial family can kill their own blood for the throne. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was willing to tell him with pleasure, but…”

“You couldn’t tell me because of Lizzena and Edmund…”

“That’s right. My mind changed when she brought in his child out of wedlock. I’m going to protect my child from the fight for the throne.”

“…Lady, would you mind if you left like this?”

Maybe because she was always observing my love for Raymond. Helan was looking at me with a sad look before she knew it.

I knew what she meant.

But I have already cleared up all my mind about Raymond and I will only think of my child.

“It’s okay. I’ve already made up my mind. But Helan, if you don’t want to be part of this, I can still take care of your house and your consolation money.”

“No, I’m not. I’ll follow you. Anyway… there’s no place to go back even if I stay in the Empire. I’m leaving with you.”

“Thank you very much for telling me that. If this is dangerous for you, I’ll take care of everything so that you’re safe.”

I felt much lighter after finishing my speech. All of a sudden, Helan looked at me with a suspicious look.

I smiled and said to such a Helan,

“Since we’ve decided to leave, we should be ready to get going. I have to go somewhere to prepare.”

* * *

At the same time, in front of the emperor’s office.

A tall man with gray hair stood looking at the office with a sharp impression on his face, he was known as the ‘Hawk’.

Cartel Owens.

The commander of the 4th Knights, called the Emperor’s Secret Sword.

He was a man who could not be seen well in the Imperial City even though he was the head of the Order, and after he met the emperor, the nobles were purged with a heavy sin. (T/N: he helped make Raymond as Emperor.)

He was that dangerous, but he was not a man who was exposed much to the public.

When the courtiers of the Sun palace carefully exchanged glances at the appearance of Cartel, who had not been seen for a while, the chief of staff.

He told the emperor.

“Your Majesty, the Commander of the 4th Knights has arrived.”

“Let him in.”

When the door of the office opened, Raymond, who was looking at the documents at his desk, looked at him.

Cartel approaching the desk provided bow of courtesy

“I see the Emperor, the sun of the Empire.”

“Get up.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Raymond looked at the commander  and told the servants who were staring.

“You guys stay out.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The servants left the office and Raymond got up from his seat with a tired breath.

He turned to the window. Looking at the peaceful scenery outside the window as usual, and asked Cartel standing behind him.

“Cartel, how’s your rest?”

“I’m always doing well thanks to your majesty.”

“It’s grace.”

At Cartel’s words, Raymond turned to the cartel with a smirky, bland smile.

With heavy blue eyes reminiscent of rocks, Cartel was looking at Raymond.

It’s already been 10 years since I got to know Cartel, but that serious and loyal look has never changed.

“I’m a little guilty of hearing that I’m a virtue to you. I think you’re doing the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done.”

“I’ve never thought it was a rough ride. Your Majesty.”

“It’s a joke. It’s just been a while since I’ve finished my rebel duty, and I was worried about giving you another job.”

“What do I have to do, Your Majesty?”

As if Cartel didn’t know how to do something simple like spinning, he asked Raymond straight away.

Cartel looked at Raymond with unwavering eyes.

The laughter disappeared from Raymond’s face.

Raymond opened his lips, His black eyes secretly shining when his laughter disappeared.

“I need to go to the West Kingdom secretly.”

“I’ll take your orders. Your Majesty.”

* * *

“Your……no, I’m… Ho, Lady Croft. Do you need anything else?”

Freila Costume Room, one of the famous costume salons in the Imperial Capital.

Perhaps because she had used the costume room several times when she was an empress, The Madame smiled awkwardly at the title of Her Majesty, that came out like a random mouthpiece.

I said to Madame with a smile that I was okay.

“I think I bought everything I needed.”

“Lady Croft, are you going on a trip somewhere?”

Madame asked me with sparkling eyes. That’s because what I bought today was a thick robe-like travel suit.

There was a saying that all the rumors in society start with salons.

Madame must be already preparing to spread the fact that I bought a travel outfit today.

Since it was a rumor about me anyway, I had to make sure it wasn’t anything bad behind my back.

I pulled the tip of my chin slightly and smiled pretending to be bitter.

“I’m just going to chill out for a while, and you know I’ve just been divorced.”

When I sighed as if expressing sad feelings, Madame looked rather awkward as if she didn’t know I would come out like this.

Honor-conscious aristocrats considered it polite to say such a story in reverse. (T/N: Honor-conscious meaning those who only like to talk about their own achievements or pride to bring other lower class nobles down.)

Of course, I didn’t say it because I liked to talk straight like this.

Just in case madam added weight to my trip and stirred up rumors.

The salon’s madame had always made social rumors that way.

Then the rumors about my trip would spread faster than I could get into Raymond’s ears.

But now that I’ve said it’s a divorce, Madame won’t be able to add weight to the rumors.

If you do that, I’ll be able to take issue with the rumor later on.

She’ll be more careful about what she says because her honor could be tarnished.

On my darkened face, Madame said, covering the costume book, whether she wanted to organize this place quickly.

“Lady Croft, I will send your order to the Duchy by this evening.”

“Please do. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Yes, Lady Croft.”

After receiving Madame’s greetings, I got up from my seat with Helan and left the VIP room.

Feeling the eyes of the customers sitting in the salon were on me again, I lowered my hat collar slightly and went out of the salon blocking my eyes.

And as soon as I went out of the salon, I frowned at the sight.

“What the hell is this…”

In front of the salon, two carriages were sitting in the wrong areas so that my carriage could not leave.

What kind of rude behavior is this?

“No, it really is … it’s really rude, no matter who it is.”

Helan said in an angry voice as if she had the same thought as me.

The approaching horseman said nervously.

“Sorry, miss. I kept asking you to come out, but there was nothing I could do about it.”

Ignore it…

“It’s okay because it’s not your fault.”

I stopped the Duke of Croft’s carriage and turned to Madame, who came out of the Salon.

Madame was also embarrassed, rolling her big brown eyes.

“Madame, ask the owners of these two carriages to pull the carriages out of the salon.”

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No…

“Oh, yes, um. Lady Croft.”

Madame hurried into the salon and shortly afterwards, a young man came out of the salon.

The spirit was a person I knew well..

Cleraine Chase, the Marquis’ lover.