I Won't Accept Your Regrets

As soon as I entered the greenhouse, I heard Raymond’s voice.

“Be careful.”

At that same time, the sound of a child’s cheerful laughter dug into my ears.

At the entrance to a greenhouse, I stopped at the scene that looked so perfect.

Under the sunny weather, the child with a bright smile and the man holding the child in his arms.

And a beautiful woman looking at those two with a smile.

Their appearance was as beautiful and harmonious as a painting. As if from the beginning, they were a real family.

I had tried to ignore the tenseness and the cold anxiety that I felt from my fingertips.

Now that I’ve checked on them, I no longer have any hope for our future.

“Your Majesty, the Emperor will not be informed.”

Helan’s cautious voice had been heard.

I said, looking at them like a harmonious family.

“You seem to have heard His Majesty’s answer even if I don’t have to meet him.”

“Your Majesty…”

This time, Helan’s voice calling for me was sad, as if she understood me.

But it was inevitable. Raymond’s love wasn’t for me from the start.

I already knew this would happen.

Yes, He said that he couldn’t promise love to me since we married.  He married me knowing where his heart was still.

Still, when time passes…  Would you look at me once.

Standing with such hope.

However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ever receive it.

Raymond still loves her.

The past is only the past, and I told myself, but was it me who has not changed a bit from the past?

Still I was watching them still from a few steps behind.

As I turned my head toward the moment when I uttered a sigh of grief, my eyes met with Lize.

She stared at me with a dignified glance as before.

As if this were originally said to be her place instead of me.

“… yes, I think this is right.”

You realized what you already knew so late like a fool.

If only I knew sooner that Raymond and I had no hope.

If I hadn’t felt the warmth in his arms, my heart wouldn’t have collapsed like this.

I felt happy for a short time, so this end was so heartbreaking.

“Just… go back.”

“…Yes, Your Majesty.”

Helan bowed his head when she saw the unbearable tears flow down. I made up my mind, crying every step out of the garden.

I won’t stay behind him anymore, not like in the past.

The long and unrequited love had now finally ended.

🌷🌷🌷

“I’m sorry. I understand this is a place where only the royal family can get in. I think Edmund’s made a lot of trouble for his father already.”

Lize took Edmund and asked for a sudden appearance with Raymond.

If someone had asked for an audience during business hours without an appointment, They would have been refused without looking back.

However, I couldn’t send Lize back, who decided to put her child in front of me.

I had just looked at her for a while and turned her down. On the way back, Edmund suddenly ran to the greenhouse.

Lize, who was lowering her gaze, shook her head to me.

“Okay well, What can I do with our child? Rather, he’s going to cause trouble again.”

Edmund was running around. She said, looking at the back of the tottering child.

“Then why don’t you catch him again like you did before?”

With a soft voice, Lize turned her eyes toward me.

Lize was looking at him with a familiar smile he remembered.

Nothing seemed to change from 7 years ago.

If he hadn’t been wearing only the emperor’s uniform, he would have thought he’d gone back to the time when they loved each other unconditionally.

But now is not that time.

The moment I saw her, I was surprised to see Edmund and thought of himself as a remnant of the past.

Because I vaguely thought that Lize still cared about me.

Even though I couldn’t be with her, I thought she would be the only woman I ever loved.1

Lize, had been the object of admiration for me and I have always been grateful.

That’s why I sometimes remembered her leaving for the West Kingdom.

But why was my heart not responding when I saw her back?

After the day where the party was held, I just felt strange way to meet the son and I was afraid when she would come back.

There was no pulling strings of the heart as before, no longing. I felt as if I had just met someone from the past who knew my face.

She was the same as he loved her seven years ago.

The moment I saw her… The person I cared about was Ellie, not Lize.

“Your Majesty, what do you think?”

Raymond awakened from thought to the voice of Lize calling him.

Lize naturally reached out to him.

Just before her hand touched his arm.

Sfx: Bam-bam!

The sound of cold friction echoed through the beautiful garden.

“…..”

Raymond looked at her hand with bewildered eyes.

Why would I…

It was instinctive. Before I could think of anything, Lize, who was getting closer, struck out my hand.

Of course, it was right that nobody could touch the emperor’s body, but the person was none other than Lize.

It was like I instinctively rejected her.

I guess I’ve become sensitive to other women touching me, If they weren’t Ellie.

She clenched her fists and looked at me as she narrowed her brows with incomprehensible behavior.

She must have been surprised.

“….I’m sorry.”

Lize, who was stunned as I was surprised, looked up at me and raised her mouth gently.

“It’s okay, Your Majesty.”

I looked at her as if nothing had just happened.

That beautiful smile touched me with a strange sense of incompatibility, but I said nothing.

I just shifted my gaze from Lize to Edmund, who was running around the garden.

Raymond said, looking at Edmund running around the garden just as if it were fun.

“I will allow Edmund into the Royal Family.”

Lize, opened opened her eyes as if she hadn’t expected it, and soon smiled at my words.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“But to do that, you must let Edmond go. I’m adopting Edmund as the child of the Empress.”

“What…?”

Lize, her voice trembled. Raymond turned to her.

Lize looked straight into Raymond’s pitch black eyes.

However, there wasn’t a single stream of affection between the two eyes that met each other’s.

Lize looked up from the cold black eyes and gradually lowered her mouth.

Raymond looked at her hardening face and said.

“It’s the only way to recognize Edmund as a member of the royal family.”

The Empire’s marriage laws were strict monogamy.
(Mentioning earlier that Raymond got rid of the polygamous marriage law)

If Edmund was not Ellie’s adoptive son, he had to divorce Ellie and remarry her.
(Well she’s gonna dump him first so….)

But he had never considered such an option.

I promised when I married her.

Even if I couldn’t give her love, I wouldn’t get another Empress other than her.

After Marriage, A man secretly urged Raymond from the imperial family and divorce Ellie, but that would never happen.

I didn’t think Lize agreed with my proposal, but Raymond wanted to be sure.

There is no divorce option between him and Ellie.

Lize stared at Raymond with a light smile.

“… Is that so? “

“If you can’t give up Edmund, I’m not going to force you to take away his rights to the Crown.”

“No, Your Majesty, I always wish Edmund happiness. If he doesn’t become a royal family member, Edmond will have to live as a normal child forever, and we can’t let him live like that. I will obey your will.”
(Wtf is wrong with her? What’s wrong with being a normal kid? Gold digger)1

Lize’s eyes were glaring under her eyelashes, but Raymond could not feel any emotion again.

It’s just that everything was uncomfortable.

“… yeah, then I have a lot of work to do, but don’t send a message with the empress, without my permission.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

Raymond left the garden without ever looking back at Lize and Edmund.

The distant back of Raymond disappeared from her eyes.

Her gorgeous gaze left the colorful garden, all that was left was nothing but coldness that was inhuman.
(Two-faced b*tch…)

🌷🌷🌷

I was chewed out by all the maids who returned to the palace and collapsed in bed.

The end of a long unrequited love.

All the emotions I endured burst out like explosions.

She buried her face in a pillow with unbearable tears.

Ray, I resent you.

For so long, I lived in vain for that one. Rather, when I was behind him, I could easily give up because I never dared to wish for happiness from him.

But why did you show me happiness and take it away cruelly?

<‘I can’t promise you love, but I won’t let you feel lonely.’>

No, Ray you haven’t even kept that promise.

I turned away from him because I loved him, but after I miscarried my child, I felt very lonely.

Because he didn’t treat me the way he used to.

Between comfortable friends, it was the only string we used to have, but Raymond broke it up after our child died.

I smiled at him as if nothing had happened, but every day I felt empty. My unrelenting mind started to break down.

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If this baby-like miracle didn’t come to me, I would have died of endless thirst in his love.

It wasn’t until the end that I realized my foolishness and his cruel indifference.

Ray, I hate you so much.

🌷🌷🌷
End Of Chapter 008