I’m Back in the First Grade of Elementary School, so I’m Going to Live Well

AN: It’s time to start incorporating romantic comedy in earnest.

Before I get slammed as a genre fraud.

TN: I’ll start translating AN too cuz sometimes it’s kinda important(?).

The day after the incident was put to rest.

The case of the dismembered corpse of the White Dragon, which had become a huge boom, had been erased from the children’s memories.

Children are easily distracted. It could not be helped.

If the case was settled and it was just a boring story about a crow, they would forget all about it in a day.

Well, for me, this is the end I wanted.

No one gets hurt, and the kids forget all about it.

It’s the ideal ending, with no aftermath at all.

But now I’m all alone again.

That’s what many of you are probably thinking.

You thought that once this incident was over, all the attention would disappear and I would be able to start my life as a loner again.

I was supposed to spend this lunch break alone, doing nothing.

But no!

Surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

Yes, I’m no longer a loner.

After all, I already have a friend!

He and I are physically the same age, but mentally we are more than 20 years apart. But age difference is just a number in the face of friendship.

Friendship is something that transcends the age barrier. I proved this when I became friends with a first grader.

“Hey, Kakeru. Are you listening to me?”

(TN: Itosaki Sho (糸崎翔). The Sho (翔) can also be read as Kakeru (カケル).)

I guess I’m done being a loner now… 

It’s been a long day.

“Don’t fuck with me. Hey.”

After all, I had spent 28 years of my life as a loner.

After all these years, I finally had a friend for the first time in my life.

I was soaking in the joy of having a friend.

Well, it’s good to have friends… 

“……――Hey!”

“Whoa! What, what, what?”

“I’ve been talking to you for a while now.”

“Oh, is that so? Sorry, Rinta.”

It was my first friend, Sunagawa Rinta, who was sitting on a chair with the front and back of the chair reversed so that he was facing me, leaning against the backrest with his chest.

I was so happy that I didn’t listen to him at all.

“So, what were we talking about?”

“…… No…… what do you mean……”

When I asked him back, Rinta looked away, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Umm, you, what do you think of… Mizui?”

He looked around as if he was concerned about the eyes around him, and then asked me with an earful.

“By Mizui, do you mean Mizui Hime?”

My classmate, Mizui Hime.

Since there was no one else in the class with the surname Mizui, I was pretty sure she meant Mizui Hime.

Perhaps because I was asked to talk about her, I turned my gaze to Mizui-san, who was chatting with some of the girls in the class in the corner of the classroom.

Everything about her is perfect: her attitude, her studies, her sports.

Not only that, but she also has a calm personality like an adult and promising looks that will definitely make her a model beauty in the future.

If life were like a game with ability parameters, she would probably be at the top of all of them.

If Rinta had mentioned Mizui-san, there would be only one reason.

As you can see from this behavior, he likes Mizui-san.

In fact, not only him, but the majority of the boys in his class like Mizui-san.

First grade boys are simple. If there’s a cute girl, they like her almost unconditionally.

I may have liked her the first time I went to first grade.

I don’t like her now, though.

A 28-year-old man falls in love with a first-grade girl. Just the word “love” is already out of my mind.

Even if the age difference doesn’t matter in friendship, the age difference in affection is a crime if you make a mistake.

It’s legal in my current body, but… 

But no matter what, I can’t look at a first grader as a love interest.

This is because I’m still an old man on the inside.

“It’s not like I like her or anything.”

“Yeah, I know… Fufu.”

This is the first time I’ve ever seen such a thing.

I don’t mean to be rude, but Rinta is surprisingly pure-hearted.

To be honest, Mizui-san is not an easy person to reach, so I’m sorry to say that Rinta’s love is unlikely to be fulfilled.

But I’ll support him in the shadows.

As a friend… as a friend (this is important).

――Emphasizing the word ‘friend” to strengthen your resolve.

“Hey, old hag Mizui. Are you having a party again?”

One of the boys, accompanied by two of his cronies, got involved with Mizui-san.

The girls who were talking with Mizui-san looked at him suspiciously as he spouted off.

I haven’t seen that face before. Could it be someone from another class?

He seems to be quite obsessed with Mizui-san, even going to the trouble of coming to a different class to mess with her.

I guess I don’t need to explain, but he’s one of the people who like Mizui-san.

I could tell by his behavior.

An elementary school boy flirting with a girl is no more than a courtship act. Unfortunately, it backfires.

Elementary school boys are such clumsy creatures.

Incidentally, the swear word “hag” was probably born from the idea that “mature = smells worse than old = hag”.

It’s childish, it’s naive, it’s very elementary school-like.

“Hey, Ryuji! You’re here again!”

The girl who was talking to Mizui-san responded with a belligerent stance.

Apparently, he, Ryuji, was a regular visitor, not just once or twice. How passionate he was.

“It’s none of your business!”

“It doesn’t matter! We’re your friends, Hime!”

“I don’t care!”

“You’re an idiot for calling me an idiot!”

“Shut up, you ugly bitch!”

“I’m not ugly!”

“I know ugly is ugly! Boo-boos!”

Ryuji continues to rant and rave with his limited vocabulary, while his belligerent classmate, who may have been overwhelmed by his vulgar rantings, is half fainting.

If this keeps up, it’s going to turn into a big fight.

The teacher, who is supposed to be a deterrent, is not here right now because it’s lunchtime.

I’m not sure I can stop this fight either.

I’m not a good communicator, you know? I’m just a small fish with a communication level of one, you know?

There’s no way I can mediate a fight.

On the other hand, if a person like me were to enter into that fierce, burning fight, I might end up either setting myself on fire or pouring gasoline on myself.

All I can do is watch from the sidelines or beg for the rain to put out the fire.

No one in this classroom could stop the escalating fight.

――Or so it seemed.

I was thinking of making a “teru teru bōzu” when it happened.

(TN: A teru teru bōzu (Japanese: てるてる坊主 or 照る照る坊主, literally “shine shine monk”) is a small traditional handmade doll made of white paper or cloth that Japanese farmers began hanging outside of their window by a string. Hanging it upside-down acts as a prayer for rain.)

“Both of you, stop fighting.”

The one who intervened between Ryuji and girl A was Mizui-san.

She interceded in a calm tone of voice to appease them.

“Mika. I’m glad that you’re angry for me, but you shouldn’t get too passionate. I don’t care that much about him. ――And Mika, you’re pretty enough.”

Mizui-san wiped Mika’s moist eyes with the handkerchief she had brought along and gently admonished her.

In addition to that, she can even follow up on the hurt Mika, which is a divine response that she loves.

“Ryuji-kun. You can’t say such a terrible thing to a girl. Girls are very sensitive. If you’re going to say something like that, can’t you at least do it to me?”

She gently warned him not to hurt his self-esteem and made a self-sacrificing suggestion to Ryuji.

“If you say so, Hime.”

“Tsk, let’s go now.”

With Mizui-san’s mediation, Mika bore the brunt and Ryuji retreated to his own class.

“…… Amazing.”

I can’t help but say it out loud.

That’s how marvelous it is.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t think she’s a first grader.

I even jokingly wondered if she was a time traveler like me.

When I looked at Mizui-san, I felt ashamed of myself.

I couldn’t deny that I felt inferior to her, who was so mature.

AN: Is she really a first grader?

I wonder.