I’m Just an Underling of an Evil Organization, but for Some Reason I was Ordered to Honeytrap the He

2 - Raid

“Seduce…?”

 

I was utterly unable to accept this, and seeing the look in my eyes, Doktor Satow spoke in a coaxing tone of voice, “Well, couldn’t you try at least once?” And with that, he began to explain the strategy for my next encounter with Akkad. 

 

My boss only nodded along, standing beside the Doktor, his fat fingers stroking his friendly mutton chops.

As long as you’re not the one doing it, it’s fine, then? What bullshit. 

 

Several days later, I was standing at my real place of work, beam-gun in hand. 

 

My ally, a Yeti-model Kaijin, made a villainous opening monologue1, “Fuhahahaha! You Gilgamesh fuckers tyrannize the pitiful humans around the world, using your prey as shields. Now it is our turn to detangle the chains of oppression, and we shall bestow you the honor of submitting to our great Humbaba!”

Once he said this, he launched a glacier through the control room of the food staple production plant of the world-wide foodstuffs corporation, Gilgamesh2.

The low-level combatants followed behind him, and together they all drew their superalloy swords and stormed inside. 

 

My job is typically sniping and causing distractions from a distance. I mainly hide under cover and fire my gun, but when my hiding spot gets discovered and I get counterattacked, I run away, and start all over again. 

 

How the hell could Akkad have fallen for me? Really, this could only be a mistake. 

 

By the way, our corporation Humbaba, compared to the likes of Gilgamesh, was the first to do terror attacks, and has been known throughout the world as an “Evil Organization” for a long time. If you just looked at android production evaluations, though, customer satisfaction would be at 98%…

 

Gilgamesh’s crime prevention devices3 were being broken one after the other.

The Yeti destroyed the control room’s entrance, and dragged out the humans inside. He raised his hand at the pale and trembling humans, and the moment he was about to pierce them through-

 

“Wait!”

 

The Hero Akkad appeared on the scene. 

 

Akkad’s almond eyes were alight with anger, and he walked forward with a long gait.

He looked young, but not inexperienced; he was calm, but did not show his age. His beauty was completely ageless. His resolve, which seemed to be surging from within him, let his masculine appeal shine even more. 

I know we’re enemies, but I really couldn’t help but admire him4.

 

That beautiful face rotated around in a circle, looking through the surrounding area. 

Red pupils flitted to my area, and I got the feeling our eyes met. Huh.

 

“Heh, where are you looking? There’s no way your people will come. Today, I will defeat you at last, and take the promised future in hand!”

“Until now, no matter what group it was, they said the exact same thing you’re saying now. This time, if you lose, Humbaba must finally have its back to the wall.”

“Fuck off, you damn traitor!”

 

The Yeti and Akkad struck at even intervals, hurling abuses as they did. At last, Akkad shouted “Transform!”, and a shield burst out from him, and his body started to fortify itself. 

 

I think this every time, but how does he figure out the timing of his transformation sequence? It was like facing off against a sumo wrestler, who was breathing perfectly in time with you 5.

 

In the time it took me to think this, Akkad finished transforming and he began to fiercely exchange shots with the allied Kaijin. A Katana matched blows against a battleaxe, as photospheres and ice-floes crashed into each other. 

 

I suddenly remembered Doktor Satow’s strategy, which he’d described in great detail, and took out the capsule in the storage bangle on my wrist. 

I don’t think this will go well, but I’m also an android produced by Humbaba. There’s no way I can disobey the Doktor. 

 

Akkad’s feet were frozen to the ground by the cold-controlling Giant Kaijin and it became a close fight, but once Akkad got used to it, he began to overwhelm the other with a massive amount of photospheres. Half the time, however, those spheres missed their mark entirely and flew in every direction, so that we low-level combatants had to desperately run away to escape them. 

In the middle of everything, a single stray bullet flew in my direction. 

 

“!”

Although I promptly covered my head, a violent pain ran through my entire body. 

Immediately following came a blast of eye-burning light, as the Yeti exploded and scattered into pieces. 

 

If we lost our main force of Kaijin, we’d soon have no chance of winning. A speedy retreat was our only option.

Except I couldn’t get up. My whole body was covered in wounds and my battle-suit was in tatters. The worst off was my left thigh. It’d be difficult to get away with my leg injured.

 

A nearby combatant lent me a shoulder, as if to ask, are you okay? 

However, the moment he hefted me up, he suddenly swiveled his head to look behind us and stiffened as though he were frozen in place. 

 

I shook my head at the combatant and signaled him to hurry up and go. If he took too long to run away, he’d also die. I gently pushed his stiff, unmoving back away from me, and with reluctance, he let go of my arm. 

 

“Uugh.”

I crumbled to my feet right there. Setting aside my relief at the silently escaping combatant, I slowly lifted my head to look behind me.  

Footnotes

悪どく口上: lit. vicious/excessive opening statement. Specifically, the prologue of a Kabuki play. It’s purposefully gaudy and over the top To be clear, this is the company mentioned in the opening paragraphs of the first chapter 防犯装置 lit. crime prevention devices. However, this may actually be referring to the room’s security measures 惚れ惚れする: fond/admiring/fascinated/adoring/enchanted. I’ve chosen a more neutral translation, but interpret it as you like 阿吽の呼吸: lit. a-un breathing. “The harmonizing, mentally and physically, of two parties engaged in an activity”. If you’ve watched Prince of Tennis, Echizen and Momoshiro manage to play Doubles together only by literally calling “a” and “un” individually