Irium

"If this happens to me next time again, then I will … die."

Okay, that's … unexpected. So much so that it has caused even a Hachiman Hikigaya fan like me to shut up which, shouldn't even be humanely possible. But of course, she is an Angel, remember?

"Any Angel, who fails to fulfill the first three requests of summoning, whether it is from their own retreating or dissatisfaction of the summoner or both, are deemed unworthy of being and erased from existence." She says while still bowing.

"They are directly erased from existence?" I ask in a doubtful tone because, going by the fantasy books we all have probably read at least once, "You don't get demoted to a lower rank or anything? Just directly erased from existence?"

She just nods. Oh boy! This is getting complicated. How in the hell did I get roped into this anyway?

Hah!

"Shinji, do you know anything about this?" I ask as I shift my gaze to look at the now on floor with holding his cheek and writhing in pain with tears in his eyes, Danny.

Hearing my question, Danny musters up the courage to stand up first and then looks at me before he finally answers my question,

"How dare you talk to me in such a manner!"

Or not. It's Danny after all. All he can do is point his finger at me and shout all that.

"Peasant, shut your mouth! I don't want to hear a single word from you." Ms. Erza Scarlet says. And then, as she turns to me again,

"Irium-sama, please reconsider." Aqua says.

Well, I can't just ignore it now that it has come to her existence being wiped off. Man was my hunch about things going wrong right. But then again, that is one of the powers given to us protagonists – the power of hunches of bad luck being always right, otherwise knows as "Spicing The Plot" power.

As the Shinji looks at me with tears in his eyes and the Aqua looks at me with a senile face, I sigh. I guess there's no choice.

"Letting you die while knowing there was a way to not let it happen would weigh on my conscious." I say truthfully and hearing that, the Angel's face turns from Aqua to that of a happy loli. "That is why,"

They both await my words with bated breath wondering what I would say at this cruel and inopportune turn of events. I then bow to the Angel named Roswaisa and,

"Erase my memories of this ever happening."

"Eh!?" "Hah!?"

Two surprised voices come for whatever reason. What? You expected me to do something else? Oh please, I am not Kirito from original SAO, alright? Though to be honest, I kinda am Kirito from SAO Abridged.

"That way I'll be able to live with myself knowing nothing. Everybody wins."

"Like hell does everybody win!" the Angel shouts in an angry voice, not angry like Erza though, angry like Aqua. "I totally lose in this situation."

"Listen Angel-sama, I have no stake in a world of Angels or Demons and I have absolutely no interest in getting involved any further than I have already been, especially if falling out in the middle of the road like a meteor is a regular business for you people." I say last part sarcastically as I know that's not a common occurrence or we'll be hearing about meteor strikes every other day at the very least.

"That wasn't my fault. This monkey is responsible for all that stuff." She says in an angry voice with a face as cute as a loli's. Too bad I never was a lolicon, not am one right now and probably never will be in the future either.

"I've just about HAD ENOUGH!" shouts Shinji, I mean, Danny. "You two have no right to even speak to me with a high voice, and yet you dare to insult me again and again like …"

"How's you crotch doing?" I ask with a malicious grin. Shinji goes red and before he can answer,

"Yeah, monkey, how's your c-c-c …" the Angel tries to copy my line and give another critical blow to the Shinji rip-off but she gets stuck on 'c'.

"We aren't talking about your boob-size." And so I decide to use the moment to give my judgement of her boob-size. I do believe it's a C. But seriously, what is with these females? Do they really feel so ashamed calling stuff like that the correct way? I mean, I can speak the names of their PPs just fine.

I mean just think about it, even the author didn't write that word for the first five chapters just to stay safe. What's wrong with this young generation?

"S-Shut up, baka!" the Angel yells with a red face as she puts up both hands to hide her boobs. Well, not like it matters much when you have literally tried to show it to me in order to seduce me into accepting your request before.

"Anyway, crux of the situation is that -" I pause voluntarily to make them focus on my next words and in after regaining my Jotarou visage, I say, "Angel Roswaisa, you'll have to go back empty-handed and hope the next time you are summoned, it doesn't suck."

That is how things stand as of right now. And seeing/hearing me say this, Danny raises his hand as a sign of a humble question,

"Are you really going to ignore my request for becoming my girlfriend?" he asks rather humbly.

"Yes, monkey, of course." She says in Erza voice but,

"ha! ha! ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! HA! HA! HA!" Danny starts laughing. And as the capital letters in his laughter increase (what the hell kind of expression is that anyway for making something seem loud), so does his ugly voice become uglier.

"You foolish Angel! You can't do such a thing." He says laughing like Kirei Kotomine at the end of Fate/Zero was, and then,

"Why not, monkey?" a plain Erza voice comes, breaking the momentum.

"It's because I have connections with Supreme Angels, your superiors! If I complain about you, you won't even need to fail another job to cease your existence."

The first-villain-guy-that-is-meant-only-to-get-his-teeth-knocked-out-in-the-most-pathetic-manner-ever laughs like a crazed psycho.

Well, that changes things.

*****