Is It Wrong For A Gamer To Be In The Dungeon? Familia Myth Of Zetta

Huff— huff— huff—

Besides the earthen wall which craters created; cracks are everywhere as the sound of a pebble, drop above my head made me half-awake thanks to it. I then find myself breathing and panting heavily.

Owu, I didn't completely lost my conciousness thanks to goddess Artemis, but then I cough is all but blood.

Again, I didn't understand what happens.

Thinking so, cold sweat crawl out of my forehead, slowly run through my face.

Linguid and lifeless eyes is what I saw as it reflects through my own pool of blood below me looking of it.

In the end... I was but still alive.

I know I haven't yet to die..

I know its not acceptable for me to die right here and now.

But what is this feeling?

The feeling of hopelessness, run through my very beings. Is this it?

Urgh! I try to jerk off my body but it was heavy. Too heavy that its as if the strength isn't there anymore. As if I was carrying tons of weights.

My body... I can't stand back up no matter what I did. But alas, my hand twitched after a couple of few attempts but after that...

"Ha... Ha ha" I laugh slowly as my body shuddered

I laugh while tears slowly flows through my cheeks as I taste the sour flavor of defeat, this almost never ending stream of water is telling me that I am alive.

Yet I was laughing but crying...

I gasps some air, trying to breathe them but what was entering through my lungs is only but an empty air.

My mind felt dizzy, as I know my <Scarf of Chasteifol> are always equipped but why do I feel dizzy at this time?

My very head is infinitely spinning

I can't understand but... is this... fear? Is this what they called fear?

I was... afraid? Of whom?

How?

When did it start?

Is this.. what they called.. DESPAIR?

This is— Despair?!

I ask again and again as countless of emotions are scratching inside my head. As if telling me not to stand

"W-what are you doing!? are you okay!?" But then, beyond despair, hearing a familiar voice I stop what I was thinking; with that very voice alone pull me back to reality, even with this whole dizziness and mess, and countless of negative thoughts. I heard them

I heard her, loud and clear.

I heard her, nice and normal.

"R-run! Run away! please.. please run away!.. I'll buy you some time.. so please.. run away!!" while shouting in panick, I saw that she too is afraid but instead still standing with her own two feet but with shivering knee in front of the very existence, called monster..

<Name: Merciful Jaggernaut >

<Level: ☠☠☠>

<Alias: Balrog of the Destroyer>

The Monster. Instead of its level to be a question mark just like the Revenger of 18th floor and Red Goliath or the Antares I fought so far...

Is describes as 3 skulls; in short, a very 'Dangerous' creature is what according to Appraisal-san.

But then. How could an alias varied to others again? It says a Balrog and at the same time a Jaggernaut? No wait. A Balrog!? Thinking so, the cold are still lingering inside of me and remember our last raid with the girls from Amythyst. But I brush them all the thoughts for now, as I hear the voice and saw the very face of her.

I heard and saw her very clear

At the same time this monster whose even with my <Borrowed Power of Heracles> plus <Haize Pala> combined, I'm still useless in front of this very being.

He even reflected my <Haize Pala> and attack me after that opening with only that simple gap. As if, he saw through me. Its not that I forget to teleport, its just that the process are too fast for me to react from that time.

It only whip my head and punch my gut. With only two hit combo and here I am, flopped and hammered in this cold place and almost lifeless, battered by my own blood... whats more

Is it instill fear deep inside me? No I'm sure this isn't it. . .

The me who fought even in a face of high level and first class adventurer

The me, who fought against many, even being encircled by enemies from any sides...

What am I afraid of? That thing? I was afraid of that thing?

No... not that thing... theres no f*cking way I were to afraid with such mere monster.

While thinking so, I on the other hand, touches my face and found my own fresh blood—dripping while some are already dried ages ago.

Also, my other hand is subconciously touching my stomach as the punch are still as hot as pancakes as I threw up just a couple of moments ago.

I am afraid..  so that is... not because of this monster in front of me but because, I was afraid—

—Of DYING

Not because I can't win against this opponent, but because I might die for real

So, I was selfish afterall..

Just because of this mere scratches!? I'm afraid!? F*ck me!

And at the very same time... who calls me, is the girl I coveted for, the girl I really—

—But wait, what was that word she screamed just now?

Leave her? run without her? she buy me some time to run away!? F*cking hell!!

UNFORGIVABLE!

Roooooaaaaarrr!!!—

I roared like that of a cornered beast and clenching my fist and teeth hardly enough with all my might, I stand back up and used the earthen wall to support my limped and staggering body, just doing this made me drool and a drip of blood flows out from some of my orifices. But I care less!

It looks pitiful, but so what!?

Who decide!?

Forget my weak endurance!

Forget this fright!

Forget this fright of death!

Forget this despair!

I... can't let myself lie on this cold ground... while the elf...

Ryuu Lion... sacrifice her own life just for me to live!?

Just for my sake!?

F*ck! I'd better kill myself then!

Why am I a man then!? isn't because it was me who should protect them?! why are you protecting me then!? where is my pride as a man if you did that!?

—Grrroaaaaa!!!!!!

I grunt like a beast for the second time as if lifting any strength thats left within me while still clenching my fist very hard until I stood up from the ground for good—and thanks to my effort and that roar, with the help of <Appraisal> did the Jaggernaut stop its heel towards Ryuu and unconcious bloody Bell not far away, and instead look towards my direction. . .

"Hah hah hah B*tch.. I am here!!" Breathing heavily, I swore as our eyes met and raise my middle finger; mocking it.

While here I am despite standing and doesn't have any strength to move. I still find it funny how come a mere monster has been provoked.

And for some reason, fortunate or unfortunate, my equipment are still intact and only receive a couple of scratches and dirt other than my gut area who was now exposed because of its punch.

My last resort right now is to overcome this guy with skills and reaction time

Forgetting the pain, I pushed off the wall and stride forward, dragging this staggering body towards the monster... this is the first time I received this kind of damage since coming into this world. It hurts like hell!

And then, the realization hit me back from my head..

In the end.. all I done, all of my achievement, all of my feat so far.. is because...

I think of myself as a 'Gamer' rather than an 'Adventurer'

"W-why.. why did you stand up now!? didn't I tell you to run!? why towards here!?" Ryuu, with contorted face and desperate eye of distress, look towards me.

Too bad for her, she too couldn't move out of phobia.

Setting aside her words, my mind didn't stop thinking, its as if, time itself has stopped.

A Gamer huh, did I even think I was an adventurer once?

Yes... I sure did

But, am I aware that a gamer and an adventurer isn't the same?

No... I did not

In the end, no matter how many times I think of it. Not once did I even think of their difference. Not until today..

A Gamer is 'merely' playing; half-heartedly; for fun and pissing of others or for professional career.

I never think that I might die for real in this world just because of this cheat-like system called 'Gamer', that just seeing my own fresh blood, frightens me.

Whereas

An adventurer, risks their own lives for an adventure, no matter what the cause or whatever depicts them from adventuring.

A Gamer and an Adventurer is a different through and through.

I know now

But right now? I don't have any time to think of that thing or finding any solution

Is because. . . in front of me, is a frontdoor to Hell.