It Seems There is Light

Uneasy

  

The weather was getting colder and colder.

 

It was late in the winter, and when Shi An stepped out of his house, the only light in the alley was the wall lamp.

 

The cold, wet wind caught in his neck and he sneezed, a faint red flushing at the end of his eyes.

 

He lowered his head and pulled his collar when a hand suddenly reached out next to him. The slender knuckles were slightly bent and a warm object was pressed against his face.

 

He turned his head and saw Yan Liang leaning against the door, wearing only a thin white shirt, stretching his arm and pressing his palm against his face.

 

To be precise, it was not a palm; Yan Liang’s hand was holding a hand warmer.1 The sticky side was folded and glued to Shi An’s cold cheeks across his palm.

 

It looked a lot like his palm was caressing Shi An’s face.

 

Shi An’s fingers gripping the collar tightened and he tilted his head.

 

He smiled faintly as he asked, “Why are you so early today?”

 

He usually left the house about fifteen minutes earlier than Yan Liang, so it was rare to meet in the morning.

 

“I woke up early today, let’s go together,” Yan Liang shoved the hand warmer into Shi An’s hand, “How do want you go? Ride a bike or walk?”

 

Shi An couldn’t help but curl his eyes again because of the ‘together’, and said: “Walk.”

 

Yan Liang also smiled. A small crease appeared at the end of the peach blossom eyes, and a small fang was exposed from the edge of the curled lips.

 

“Okay, then walk.” Yan Liang tucked his hands into his trouser pocket and walked ahead.

 

Tall boys always looked good in a white shirt, and Yan Liang wore his school uniform with elegance and uprightness, full of youth.

 

Shi An clutched the hand warmer tightly in his hand and his cold fingertips soon warmed up.

 

Ling Yue said that people who were just beginning to fall in love would suddenly be in a good mood.

 

Shi An was in a very good mood now.

 

Although his face was still as calm as ever, Yan Liang knew Shi An. At first glance, Yan Liang knew that Shi An was in a good mood now.

 

This was a very subtle change. When Shi An was in a good mood, he would make people feel that he was extraordinarily obedient and the whole person seemed to be a lot softer.

 

Like now.

 

As soon as Yan Liang turned his head, he saw Shi An holding the hand warmer on his cheek with his cuffs covering the back of his hand, exposing only a small fingertip. His amber eyes were moist.

 

Yan Liang watched, and the bottom of his heart was blocked for no reason before he turned to walk.

 

The mobile breakfast stalls had already started to walk around the streets, and the lamps hanging in front of the carts were immersed in a dense atmosphere.

 

The morning fog was misty, and the old people who woke up early to exercise were chatting softly. The smell of sweet porridge in the air was mixed with the murmur of Wu Nong’s soft language.

 

“Shi An, have you bought breakfast?” Yan Liang stopped at a random mobile stall, threw his school bag in front of him and took out money.

 

“Yes.” Shi An answered indifferently and stood next to him, waiting for him.

 

Yan Liang asked for a bag of xiaolongbao and a cup of soy milk, saying, “You have to remember to eat it after you buy it.”

 

When he ate breakfast too early, Shi An would feel nauseous, so he saved it to eat after the first period. But by the end of class, he had already forgotten about it, and when he thought about it again, it was almost noon.

 

So sometimes Shi An simply treated breakfast as lunch, or ate a late breakfast, and so he could only eat very little at noon. When he was hungry in the evening, he got dizzy and could only eat candies to cushion his stomach, and then he couldn’t eat dinner.

 

“You always forget to eat breakfast, and when your stomach hurts, I’ll…” Yan Liang did not continue talking, the words stuck for a while.

 

Fortunately, he didn’t get stuck for a long time. The stall uncle shoved the breakfast into his hand: “Be careful, ah. It’s hot.”

 

Yan Liang took the breakfast, swallowed the words he just said back into his stomach, and simply said, “Let’s go. It’s rare for me to get up so early to go to class and sign for the diligent study.”2

 

Just now he actually wanted to say, “I’ll beat you up if your stomach hurts again”—— but couldn’t say it.

 

Zhou Yuan also had the problem of eating three meals upside down, and every time he had a stomach problem, Yan Liang would grab him and scold him. He however, often couldn’t say this kind of words to Shi An.

 

He remembered the WeChat that Ling Yue sent him yesterday. The first moment he saw the message, he was shocked to find himself a little disappointed.

 

He stared at the message for a while.

 

Perhaps people yearned for beautiful things and if someone touched something that was longed for, whatever that was, it would make that person jealous.

 

Shi An occasionally looked like an unfamiliar cat, with a gentle coolness.

 

This cat had clean and moist eyes and soft fluffy fur. It walked gently and quietly.

 

It slightly tilted its head to walk the streets and lanes, had been to countless places, and met countless people, but there was nothing in its eyes.

 

You couldn’t even find your shadow in its eyes.

 

He often felt that it was pure luck that he became Shi An’s friend.

 

He happened to use the right method and spent enough time to become Shi An’s friend with a slightly higher status than others in his heart.

 

The person who could make Shi An’s heart move, did they save the galaxy in their previous life?

 

Yan Liang was in a trance when Shi An suddenly stopped and squatted down.

 

They were passing by a fresh milk store. The dog in front of the store was nibbling at Shi An’s pant leg, wagging its tail happily.

 

Shi An gently stroked the puppy’s head. Probably because it was comfortable, the puppy squinted its eyes and desperately burrowed into Shi An’s arms.

 

Shi An was hit by it and almost sat on the ground.

 

He stretched his hand around the puppy and gently smoothed its fur. He lowered his head, his long curly eyelashes hung quietly, his expression was serene and gentle.

 

The Shi An at this time was so gentle that it made the heart tremble, as if it was easy to get his affection, easy to let him give you the whole world.

 

Yan Liang thought uncontrollably again, how lucky was the girl whom Shi An liked.

 

Would Shi An smile at her? The kind with his eyes bent down and his head slightly tilted, and then the corners of his pale lips were raised very high.

 

Would Shi An be shy? He was always calm and composed, but his skin was so white, so when he was shy, his cheeks and the tips of his ears must be flushed with a sweet color.

 

He hadn’t seen Shi An acting like a baby. He would be coquettish to his girlfriend. Shi An’s eyes were so beautiful, no one could probably resist when he was acting coquettish.

 

Yan Liang thought, only to feel novel and frustrated.

 

Just like the owner of a jewellery store, one day when they purchased a very desirable item, they put it in the most conspicuous position in the store, and they could see it when they raised their head.

 

After being displayed for a long time, they forgot that it was a commodity, and it seemed to have become a display in the store.

 

But one day, someone suddenly came to the boss and pointed to the price and said that he wanted to buy it.

 

They were so happy to see this little thing was bought away. But looking at the empty corner where it was originally placed, they felt disappointed and sad.

 

Shi An touched the dog for a while. When he saw Yan Liang standing aside with his eyes down not knowing what he was thinking, he stretched out his hand and shook it before his eyes.

 

Only then did Yan Liang come back to his senses. The pair of beautiful peach blossom eyes stared at Shi An for a while.

 

“It’s okay, let’s go. You’ve been playing with that dog for so long, my diligence is gone.”

 

“You can still sign. Come in time.” Yan Liang was tall and long-legged, and his stride was a little too big. Shi An followed behind him, “Running?”

 

“You haven’t eaten breakfast, you’ll get dizzy if you run,” Yan Liang slowed down his steps, “I’m just kidding, I don’t want to sign that badly.”

 

Shi An answered him.

 

In the end, he failed to sign for diligent study, two minutes late.

 

“Remember to eat breakfast. As soon as you get to the classroom, take out the breakfast and put it in the drawer, I don’t believe you will forget it,” Yan Liang went upstairs while pointing at Shi An, “Sit down first, get your breakfast.”

 

Shi An replied, watching Yan Liang climbing the stairs. The snow-white clothes flashed around the corner, and the person disappeared.

 

He turned around and was about to walk back when he saw a girl leaning in front of Class 3’s door, as if she was waiting for someone.

 

The light from the classroom shone through the glass window, he saw that it was Tong Zixin.

 

Shi An paused, and stood still, not daring to move.

 

This was probably the fear of being dominated by the student council.

 

He wanted to go downstairs to hide, but before he could turn at the corner, he heard Tong Zixin’s voice chasing after him.

 

“Shi An!!! Wait, I see you!!! Don’t you try to run!!!!”

 

The girl’s clear voice was so penetrating that many people poked their heads out of the classroom windows.

 

Shi An: “…” He took his foot back.

 

If it weren’t for all the people watching, he really wanted to run away.

 

Shi An turned around. Straightening his shirt collar, he said lightly, “I’m not a member of the student council. Not involved in any related activities.”

 

“Oh,” Tong Zixin stopped in front of him and reached out to clasp his wrist, “You think you can refuse? I’m just giving a routine briefing.”

 

She said while frantically blinking her long eyelashes: “Shi An, you just help your xuejie,3 okay. The last time, absolutely the last time. I will be rest assured if you do it, ah.”

 

Shi An sat expressionlessly in the student council office with a pile of materials in front of him.

 

Tong Zixin closed the office door behind her and clapped her hands in satisfaction.

 

“Xuedi,4 take a look,” Tong Zixin divided the pile of information in front of him into two, “These are the audition lists for the New Year’s Day party programs, I hope you can participate in the screening of the performance.”

 

Shi An looked up at her and said indifferently, “I know it.”

 

As he said, he stretched out his slender fingers and scratched the corners of his eyes, “Do you still remember the makeup at the closing party of the sports festival?”

 

Tong Zixin: “…”

 

“I didn’t ask you to put on makeup,” Tong Zixin said when she thought of the enchanting makeup on that day. “Our literary and art department is flourishing in yin and declining in yang. There are too many little girls, the performance selection will be biased, and there are too few reliable boys, so I had to find you.”

 

Tong Zixin spread out her hands: “The audition will probably last three days. You can bring your homework to the auditorium to write during this period from the end of school in the afternoon to before the end of late study.”

 

She pushed the materials in front of Shi An: “This is the audition list. Only the first year and second year are participating in the auditions, and not every class will perform,” she made a gesture of putting her hands together, “Is that okay? Come on, if we let the boys in our department choose, I wonder what kind of performance list will be produced.”

 

“…Will you let me go if I say no.”

 

Tong Zixin asked him back, “If you really don’t want to help can I drag you here?”

 

Shi An: “…”

 

Tong Zixin was indeed smart.

 

There were many departments that wanted to recruit Shi An. Although Shi An rejected all of them, he still became a half member of the Arts Department.

 

The feeling of being trusted and appreciated was naturally pleasant. In addition, Tong Zixin was a girl who was very good at reading people’s words and had a good sense of measure, always succeeding in catching Shi An.

 

Compared to other girls who blushed when they spoke in a coy manner, Shi An was naturally willing to work with Tong Zixin.

 

“I was probably…” Shi An reached out and tucked the list in his own direction, “born to work hard, I guess”

 

When he was in junior high school, Shi An was very thin-skinned, so he was pushed to a lot of positions and was as busy as a dog5 for three years. In fact, he was more relaxed in the first year of high school than before.

 

On the way back to the classroom, Shi An rarely remembered that there was breakfast in his bag.

 

As soon as he sat down and tried to take it out, Shen Qiaoqiao pushed a note onto his desk.

 

[Is it useful?] Shi An looked at the girl’s small, crisp handwriting and pondered.

 

After about half a minute, Shen Qiaoqiao’s face had turned red into a tomato before he remembered the pile of links Shen Qiaoqiao had sent him last night.

 

He immediately wrote a “yes” with his pen and pushed the note back.

 

He saw Shen Qiaoqiao carefully fold the note and put it back into the pencil case.

 

This interruption made him forget all about breakfast and rummage through his book organizer for the morning reading.

 

It was only when the hypoglycemic attack started to make him dizzy that he opened his school bag and looked at the bread in the bag and froze.

 

Today he saved lunch money again.

 

 

 

1

It’s literally baby warmer but I googled it and it’s something like hand warmer/hot pack

2

I searched about it everywhere and I couldn’t find anything about it. I think it’s something like when you go to school early, you can sign it and when you reach a certain point, you will be awarded. It’s to encourage students to go to school and study early

3

senior sister

4

junior brother

5

apparently it’s because dogs like to gnaw things, run around, dig pits, and find food. That’s what I found on baidu