It Seems There is Light

After the first day of the New Year, Jiang Yuan actually developed a high fever.

From the year he turned thirteen, Shi An became very sensitive to Jiang Yuan’s health condition. Although Jiang Yuan said it was a minor matter, he still watched over Jiang Yuan almost sleeplessly for several days.

He didn’t have the energy to do other things. After Jiang Yuan recovered from her illness, he realized that he hadn’t seen Yan Liang since the first day of the new year.

During the holidays, Shi An basically could see Yan Liang every day. Yan Liang liked to go to other people’s homes, or out to play with the children in the alley. All of sudden, he didn’t see him for several days, Shi An was a little uncomfortable, and his heart was also a little empty.

These days he was really a bit tired. After sleeping the whole morning, Shi An sent a message to Yan Liang, asking him if he wanted to study together.

Yan Liang quickly replied, saying yes. In less than five minutes, Yan Liang was standing downstairs of his house with his papers.

Shi An hadn’t rested well in the past few days, and had dark circles under his eyes, but he didn’t expect that the dark circles under Yan Liang’s eyes were even worse than his.

The two people with dark circles under their eyes stared at the same place for a while.

“Go upstairs,” Shi An let Yan Liang into the house and closed the store door, “it’s a little cold.”

The two of them went upstairs to do their homework for a while before Yan Liang suddenly asked, “Last time you said…you have someone you like, is it true?”

Shi An’s pen paused. He put the pen down and said seriously, “Really.”

Shi An’s pupils were lighter and looked a bit careless, but now he actually looked incredibly serious and even a bit pious. Yan Liang was a bit uncomfortable, and the knuckles holding the pen tightened slightly.

Who could have made Shi An show such an expression…

“Then… can you tell me who it is?” Yan Liang asked him with his eyes still fixed on the table.

Yan Liang was a person who couldn’t hide his heart and couldn’t hide his panic. But Shi An was confused by his question, and his heart beat faster for a few minutes, so he didn’t have time to care about Yan Liang’s expression.

“I can’t.” Shi An held the pen, feeling his brain was blank.

The last time Yan Liang asked him if he had a crush on someone, Shi An kept an eye on it. When he asked again today, he started to get a little nervous.

When it came to Yan Liang, Shi An was always very timid. If Yan Liang knew what he had in mind, they might not even be able to be friends anymore.

Shi An couldn’t imagine the feeling of losing Yan Liang.

He would be overwhelmed by the fear of losing Yan Liang.

Shi An’s fingertips began to grow cold and his knuckles shook slightly as he gripped the pen. The thin sweat from his fingertips made the pen casing a little slippery to the touch, and he nearly lost his grip on the pen.

“…Then she, is she important to you?”

Shi An was stunned.

Yan Liang probably didn’t know he asked that.

Shi An leaned on the back of his chair and glanced at Yan Liang’s expression from the side. Yan Liang still looked down at the paper, counting the questions with his hands on the draft paper, as if this was just an unintentional chat between doing the questions.

After he was sure he was being paranoid, Shi An’s fingers let go of the pen with a little bit of force, and the pen fell back onto the desk with a clatter.

He closed his eyes and his eyelashes trembled slightly. He let out a long, slow breath before opening his eyes and saying, “Yes.”

Shi An then felt a little funny.

How could Yan Liang have an epiphany overnight when he hadn’t discovered it for so many years?

He laughed at himself for being paranoid and used his other hand to hold his cold, trembling fingertips.

He was just too scared.

Yan Liang’s complexion was dark and uncertain, and his forehead hair fell slightly over his eyes.

“Very, very important.” Shi An sat up straight again and picked up the pen again before burying his head in the question.

When Yan Liang didn’t say anything else, Shi An was sure it was just an unintentional chat, and the last breath of air hanging from his heart was relieved.

“Shi An, let me ask you,” Yan Liang spoke again, his voice slightly deeper, “if someone you don’t like confesses his love to you, what would you do?”

Yan Liang looked up and looked directly at Shi An, who had to turn his head to look at him as well.

“I would refuse.” Shi An said indifferently.

Yan Liang looked at Shi An’s amber eyes and was stunned.

This was actually the logical answer, probably how anyone would answer. But Yan Liang only felt that Shi An’s eyes were like wine soaked in ice; he felt cold just by looking at them.

Yan Liang suddenly understood Shen Qiaoqiao’s shyness and Shen Qiaoqiao’s walking on the thin ice.

The two of them did the questions for a while before Yan Liang got up with the paper in his arms: “It’s late, I’m going back. You remember to eat.”

Shi An also put down his pen and glanced at the alarm clock.

It was not even half past five yet.

“Okay,” Shi An nodded, “Bye bye.”

Yan Liang went downstairs with the paper in his arms. He returned home, and collapsed on the bed for a while before regaining his senses.

He remembered the look in Shi An’s eyes when he said ‘very, very important’, so careful, so precious…too gentle to be true.

Yan Liang turned his head to stare at a small shadow on the wooden floor.

It was dark early in winter, and the small shadow moved slowly like a curtain, growing larger and larger until it enveloped the entire room.

It was getting dark, and the furnishings in the room were only vague outlines, standing silently on the wooden floor

The window was half open, the wind was not too strong, and the street light was faintly shining on the window pane.

The air was very quiet, and there were one or two dog barks in the distance. Someone drove an electric scooter passing by, and the lights of the scooter crossed a path in the ceiling.

Yan Liang just lay there, his consciousness gradually blurred, and went to sleep, only waking up hungry after ten o’clock.

He couldn’t believe no one asked him to eat.

He was their own.

Yan Liang lifted his hand to cover his face, feeling a bit bewildered.

Xie Fei left him food. He warmed up, ate a little at will, and went back to his room to lie down.

Later, Ling Yue came to Qingjiu Alley to open the dessert shop. Yan Liang went to see her once. Ling Yue looked at him as she sighed and said sorry.

He asked Ling Yue what she was sorry for, and Ling Yue said that it was better to experience things like feelings on his own, and that she was the one who was too self-conscious.

Yan Liang shook his head.

He remembered the day Ling Yue asked him if he liked Shi An or not, he did not answer.

His long-held beliefs could not be changed overnight, and he was not very clear about his feelings.

He felt he needed a little time to digest and understand.

The winter break was less than thirty days, not too long and not too short, and school started soon.

On the first day, Shi An and Yan Liang met. Yan Zhao drove the car and took them to the school, helping them to carry their storage box there.

That day, Yan Liang’s problem frightened Shi An so much that it took him a few days to recover. He and Yan Liang hadn’t seen each other for a few days before they calmed down a bit.

No one spoke in the car, the air seemed to be frozen.

After school started, people started to get busy again. Once they got busy, they didn’t have time to think about it. All kinds of thoughts gradually faded. They still followed the routines day by day, and time flew quickly.

Shi An vaguely felt that Yan Liang seemed to be avoiding him, but then again, it seemed not.

During the school days, they were in different classes and did not see each other much, so it was not much different from the past.

Shi An could only admit that it was his own heart that was upset.

They continued to go home together, and occasionally went to the café to study. Yan Liang would still come to the door with his homework, and then be forced to flee by the strange desserts made by Ling Yue.

Later, Shen Qiaoqiao suddenly confessed to Shi An.

It was a very normal afternoon. Just after the lunch break, Shi An went to the bathroom to wash his face.

The weather was getting warmer, and the cold drops of water hung on his cheeks, dazzled by the sun.

The bangs were a bit long and soaked with water, and the tips of the hair wavered slightly in front of his eyes.

When he reached the top of the stairs, Shen Qiaoqiao came trotting by with her cheeks flushed, the afternoon sunlight haloing the top of her dark hair.

She stammered for a while before Shi An realized that he was confessed to.

Shi An was about to open his mouth when there was a sound of footsteps by the stairs. He had to frown and swallow his words.

He reached out and gently pulled Shen Qiaoqiao’s cuff, whispering, “Come this way.”

Shen Qiaoqiao obediently followed him and left the stairway, before Shi An turned his head to look at her and said indifferently, “Sorry.”

Shen Qiaoqiao thought she would be like a prisoner awaiting her sentence, but after hearing Shi An’s answer, she realized she was not.

It was not as hard as she thought it would be. A slightly cool little loss and a slightly sweet little leap mingled together to make up a young girl’s heart.

Shen Qiaoqiao’s face reddened even more, but her eyes brightened and she shook her head repeatedly, saying, “It’s okay.”

She looked relieved, and there was even a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. The warm sunlight shone under her eyes, and the pupils formed a nice dark brown color.

Shi An looked at the corner of her mouth that was slightly curled up.

If in the past, after refusing he would have turned away, but at this time looking at Shen Qiaoqiao, he was actually a little envious.

At least she was brave.

So Shi An couldn’t help but smile, the tips of his eyes curved downward, and his eyelashes stared at a fine point of light.

Seeing Shi An’s expression, Shen Qiaoqiao really started to jump with joy.

Shen Qiaoqiao showed the end of her white and neat teeth——the first time she showed such a smile in front of Shi An, saying, “It’s time for class, let’s go back.”

Shen Qiaoqiao walked in front. Her cheeks and tips of ears were red, her lips were slightly pinched, her face was full of happy smiles, and her hands were behind her back, like a cheerful little bird.

This might be youthfulness.

Shi An also could not help but curl his eyes and followed her two steps behind and went back to the classroom.

He did not see Yan Liang standing at the corner of the stairs, holding a pile of papers in his hand, and his fingertips turned white.

Yan Liang wanted to use the printing room on the first floor to print some information, but he didn’t expect to hear someone confessing just after he turned the corner of the stairs on the third and second floors.

He wanted to stop in his tracks, but he saw Shi An standing at the top of the stairs.

Shi An’s face looked very light, he reached out and pulled the cuff of the girl in front of him, and the two walked to a place where Yan Liang could not see.

The feeling that had subsided for many days rose again. Just when he was about to start thinking that he had only friendship or affection for Shi An again, he suddenly ran into this scene.

How could Shi An easily agree to someone else’s confession?

Yan Liang stood at the corner, his fingers unconsciously tightened, thinking wildly.

But before he could think long, the girl who confessed to Shi An came out.

Yan Liang saw the girl’s face and his brain suddenly buzzed.

It was the same girl that I had seen in the hospital before.

The girl’s face was very red, as if she was shy. Her face looked as if she was relieved, with a slight smile, and her pace was very brisk.

Yan Liang was startled, a little unbelievable. When he looked back, he just happened to run into Shi An, who had just come out.

There was a slight smile on Shi An’s face, the whole person looked very gentle.

This time Yan Liang was really hit hard.

Yan Liang’s chest surged with indefinable feelings, he closed his eyes and slightly tilted his head, turning around and leaning against the wall.

Shi An really did have someone he liked and did not lie to him.

He was glad he didn’t recognize his feelings too soon.

He knew Shi An too well.

Shi An would not waste time on someone or something he was not interested in; he did not want to be rejected so easily.

But unfortunately, Shi An was such a straightforward person.

When it came to dealing with people, Shi An could give other people gentleness and courtesy without stint, but when it came to emotion, Shi An would never be soft-hearted.

For the first time, he secretly blamed Shi An for being cold.

If he had understood his feelings too early, he would have been the one who was now in a mess and had lost his armor.

Yan Liang was suddenly grateful for his own slowness.

T/N: I said I am ‘surprisingly free’ before because I quitted my old job lol but I don’t feel good not working so I’ve started looking for a job again (also there’s a pressure because I don’t wanna go to my graduation/convocation jobless). I might not have the time to update daily like before because I need to study how to code again (my prev job didn’t require me to code so I kinda forgot about it hahhah). Anyway, just wanna let you all know that, but I’ll try my best to update frequently.