It Seems There is Light

Thoughts

Shi An took the wet tissue handed over by Yan Liang and slowly and carefully wiped his fingers clean, turning around and throwing them into the trash.

Shi An rarely sweated this much, and often, his entire body looked cool and bland.

His bangs were a little wet, slightly covering his beautiful eyes. The tail of his eyes were red with sweat, his cheeks were rarely red, and even his lips were red. His eyebrows, which were always cold, looked somewhat charming.

Yan Liang felt his throat tighten, his heart was like a hard scratch.

It was not that he hadn’t felt this way before when facing Shi An, but for the first time Yan Liang was so clearly aware of what this feeling represented.

He began to feel disgusted by this feeling.

Such bad thoughts should not involve Shi An.

Yan Liang closed his eyes, opened them again and let out a slow breath, turning to leave.

If it was in the past, Yan Liang must be eager to meet someone he knew to talk to, but today he actively gave up this opportunity to be together.

Yan Liang’s turning movement made Shi An instantly feel astonished.

He was vaguely uneasy.

Couldn’t let him go.

The thought somehow came to Shi An, and after a moment’s hesitation, he ran over and took Yan Liang by the hem of his shirt.

“Together.” Shi An tilted his head to look into his eyes, his thin lips open to breathe softly, probably because he was tired. He slightly bent down, one hand propped up on his knees.

Yan Liang lowered his eyes to look at him, slightly surprised.

‘Together’, this kind of request Yan Liang almost never heard from Shi An’s mouth, he immediately could not walk, almost immediately stopped in his tracks.

Shi An raised his eyes to look at him.

Shi An’s eyes were beautiful, with somewhat rounded eyes and thin and deep eyelids that followed the curve of the eyelids, with the end of the eyes curving slightly upward..

Because the eyes were slightly round, they looked a little naive and docile at first glance. The pupil’s color was very light, and there was always no emotion in his eyes, looking a little cold, like a piece of amber dipped in snow. The eyelashes were very long and dense, which slightly diluted the childishness and looked beautiful.

Yan Liang saw his own reflection clearly through those amber eyes.

In front of these eyes, it seemed that all illusions were visible and there was no room for the slightest dirt.

Yan Liang did not move to avert his eyes.

“Okay, together.” Yan Liang sighed in his heart and reached out to help Shi An up.

Shi An looked up at Yan Liang and was slightly stunned.

Yan Liang tilted his head, his eyes staggered, and his gaze fell away. There was no expression on his face, and the beautiful jaw line seemed a little indifferent.

Shi An couldn’t help but take a small half step backward.

Yan Liang turned around and Shi An followed behind him.

The days of alienation and abnormality had left Shi An somewhat at a loss.

Shi An’s mind couldn’t help but come up with that terrible thought again.

But he soon realized that it was impossible.

Yan Liang could not have found out.

Shi An had long been accustomed to the feeling of walking on thin ice. He closed his eyes slightly and pinched his knuckles hard to prevent him from thinking wildly.

The long line was sparse, and the grade president came to inspect riding his electric scooter, disliking their slow pace, so someone else rustled and started running again.

Shi An regained consciousness and blinked.

“Shall we run?” Yan Liang turned to ask Shi An, “Can you run?”

Yan Liang tilted his head back, his eyes tipped with a little smile, his gentle and bright look was the same as usual, as if the difference just now was just Shi An’s illusion.

But his eyes still fell elsewhere in the void.

Shi An’s heart was slightly relieved, and he breathed a slow sigh of relief in the back of his mind, feeling the warmth that had just receded from his fingertips come back.

Only then did Shi An try to understand what Yan Liang had said.

What do you mean, can you run?

Shi An was a little unconvinced by his question, and frowned slightly: ” Why can’t I?”

Shi An lifted his face; his thin lips pursed and cheeks slightly puffed up, looking not too happy.

“Good, good, can run can run,” Yan Liang also couldn’t stop laughing, “My fault my fault.”

After running for a while, Yan Liang looked back and saw that Shi An’s lips were white from running, so he immediately stopped and stood still, saying, “No more running, I’m tired.”

Shi An also stopped, panting slightly, and took out candy from his pocket and stuffed it into his mouth.

“Are you dizzy?” Yan Liang bent down and asked him.

Shi An shook his head.

He was holding the candy with his face still expressionless, but his cheeks puffed out adorably, making him look like a child who was angry.

Yan Liang wanted to reach out and rub his hair, but he withdrew his hand and put it behind his back: “If you’re tired, just say so. Why are you so stubborn?”

“…Not tired,” Shi An said with candy in his mouth, his voice becoming softer because of the ambiguity, “You said you were tired.”

Yan Liang couldn’t help laughing. He jumped briskly in place and reached for the leaves of the trees next to him.

The leaves were rustled by Yan Liang’s touch, and the sunlight on the surface of the leaves also leapt, as if Yan Liang’s fingertips had crushed a tree of sunlight.

Shi An’s eyes saw the corners of Yan Liang’s white shirt flashing up and down, and his cheeks seemed to puff up even higher.

He reached out and grabbed the hem of Yan Liang’s shirt, pulling the person down: “Don’t jump.”

Yan Liang, like a child who had succeeded in his mischief, smiled as he stretched his eyebrows, with a light crease at the end of his eyes and small sharp teeth showing on his lips.

The unnaturalness, if any, between the two soon dissipated.

“No more,” Yan Liang stopped moving and slowly walked forward, “If we wait a little longer, we really can’t get to the finish line.”

Shi An followed him, wiping his candy-stained fingers with a wet paper towel.

“Shi An,” Yan Liang suddenly called him, his voice seemed a bit hesitant, “…Why is she not with you?”

Shi An’s movements paused before he turned his face: “…Who?”

“…Your,” Yan Liang really didn’t want to say the word ‘girlfriend’. After hesitating for a while, he said, “…The girl who went to the hospital to give you your phone on New Year’s Day.”

Shi An’s eyes widened slightly and he asked, “…Shen Qiaoqiao, why would I want to be with her?”

“… You guys are not …? Are you together?” Yan Liang’s heartbeat somehow quickened by a few minutes, and a thin sweat emerged from his fingertips.

Shi An: “?”

Looking at Shi An’s speechless look, Yan Liang also opened his eyes wide, “Really not?”

“…” Shi An lowered his eyes, his forehead hair casting a small shadow, unable to see his expression: “…No.”

Yan Liang could hear his own noisy heartbeat hitting his eardrums.

He was relieved and uneasy.

After mistakenly believing Shen Qiaoqiao and Shi An were together, Yan Liang was carrying the feeling of being lost.

In fact, he was a little lucky.

Fortunately, when he had thoughts that he shouldn’t have, reality made him sober as quickly as possible.

His bad and rude feelings were wiped out before they could see the light.

Yan Liang had actually thought a lot about it.

When other people and Shi An only had a one-sided encounter or were only limited to passing by, he had at least occupied a very important position in Shi An’s heart, so when he thought about it, he felt lucky as hell.

If the person who knew Shi An from childhood and had been with Shi An for so many years was not him but someone else, he guessed he would have been jealous of that person until he went crazy.

He should be content that at least he had the right to stay by Shi An’s side more than anyone else.

He also thought that if Shi An really had a girl that he loved very much, that girl could call him brother, and he would probably be very nice to that girl.

After they had children, Little Xiao An could call him uncle, he would take Little Xiao An to play, teach Little Xiao An to play games, play basketball, and that child would love him.

Then he might be able to be neighbors with Shi An, and say good morning and good afternoon every day. If he could cook as well as Yan Zhao in the future, he could always cook for Shi An’s family.

It was at midnight when Yan Liang was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling in a faint daze, thinking about this. The dream that had been forgotten put him in the chaos of indistinguishable space, but his mind inexorably drew Shi An into his future.

The moonlight shone into the house in a strange deep blue. The furniture stood silently on the wooden floor, and the April evening breeze was still cool, blowing the square curtains ups and down.

The car passed by the alley, the headlights cut a path of light through the ceiling, the shadows of the window pane were enlarged and narrowed, and the stainless steel ceiling fan faintly reflected a little metallic cold light.

Yan Liang sat in the moonlight-soaked blue room and suddenly thought of the future far, far away.

Shi An reached out and waved his hand in front of his eyes, asking him what he was thinking about.

Yan Liang returned to his senses, the corner of his eyes unguardedly burned by the sparkling seawater.

“No,” Yan Liang casually kicked the stones on the side of the road with his toes, “I didn’t think about anything.”

After walking for more than two hours, at almost five o’clock, Yan Liang and Shi An finally reached the end of the road.

There were a few buses waiting at the end. The first ones to arrive could get on the first buses to return to school. Yan Liang and Shi An just got the first batch of buses back to school.

The bus had been parked in the sun for a long time, and the hot wagon and gasoline gave off an unpleasant smell. As soon as Shi An got on the bus, he felt like throwing up. Yan Liang reached out and patted him on the back.

Because of the seats, the two people were sitting separately.

The bus was immersed in the faint afternoon sunlight. The seats were covered with a thin layer of warm color, and the ring handle gently swayed, reflecting a little dazzling light every once in a while.

Shi An was sleepy and tired, dizzy from the smell of gasoline mixed with sweat in the car that as soon as he arrived at the school, he rushed out and started throwing up.

Yan Liang ran over, holding water and tissues.

After cleaning themselves up, Shi An and Yan Liang walked home.

He really didn’t want to ride in a bus anymore.

When he got home, Shi An was so tired that he could hardly stand up. Just after six o’clock, he had no appetite for food, so he forced himself to take a shower and lay down on the bed.

The hair wasn’t dry yet but Shi An didn’t have the strength to get up and blow-dry it again.

The curtains were not drawn, and the evening sun shone through the window into the room. Shi An slightly closed his eyes, the eyelids were covered with a blood red, it felt like the whole person was soaked in alcohol.

Shi An was so tired that his body drifted a bit, as if he had drunk wine and was trapped in a slight intoxication.

He was amused by his own metaphor, and his little leg hanging at the end of the bed swayed gently in the air.

Shi An’s upper body was lying on the bed with his legs hanging off the end of it. He didn’t plan to go to sleep yet, but just wanted to lie down for a while to build up some strength, and then get up later to finish his homework and have some dinner.

Half of the room was drenched in the orange-red sunset color at dusk. Shi An lifted his fingers to the wall, touching the shapes of the dividing lines between light and dark.

He blinked a little tiredly and watched his hand slowly drop again.

What should I do? I’m so sleepy.

I haven’t done my homework yet.

Shi An didn’t even bother to get up and close the curtains, he didn’t even bother to button up his unbuttoned shirt after the shower.

Shi An was soaked in the warm orange sunset and soon drifted off to sleep.