It's My First Time Being Loved

Chapter 3

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It felt like a dark cloud was hanging over me.

 

Of course, I thought the name Anastasia itself was pretty.

 

But the problem was that she was a hero in this world.

 

“Anastasia, who saved the world, is still being respected even now, because of that she will forever live happily ever after.”

 

Judging by her mother’s tone, she didn’t seem to mean anything bad.

 

No, but it was the same for the parents of my old lives.

 

Because they all wanted something from me, so they named me after heroes.

 

Was it because of the huge accumulation of power, or was it because they wanted a world on the verge of destruction?

 

There was a world that when I was born, an oracle came down.

 

It was right before the 99th time.

 

In that world, there were parents who were greedy and named me after a famous hero.

 

They had great expectations of me and at the same time were very afraid.

 

Therefore, at first, they often showed a happy face or pretended to be nice, but were soon eroded by fear and abused me.

 

Just like that, I wanted to prove that I was powerless at the words of my parents.

 

Of course, it was tiresome for me so I moderately adjusted myself to the abuse.

 

But then I didn’t know which rhythm to follow with the people who hated and disliked it saying I was like a doll.

 

‘But if I pretend that I’m having a hard time because of their abuse, they’ll suspect the oracle about me and hit me again.’

 

[they probably thought that she can handle the abuse as the child of the oracle that’s why] 

 

I didn’t really know if they wanted it (oracle) to be nothing or if they wanted me to be a hero.

 

That’s why even if the moment of my birth was warm in this life, I decided to be wary and keep my guard up.

 

* * *

 

That was how I was……

 

‘I was prepared after being named after a hero.’

 

For a month since I was born, I’ve been puzzled by the unexpected peaceful flow of time.

 

My family did nothing, it was embarrassing to be wary.

 

‘Usually, it’s time for someone to come into the building and make a fuss.’

 

I thought it was either to test my power or run some tests.

 

Far from that, they were only showing unexpected behavior.

 

“Oh, my lady. Are you hungry? I am so bad. I’ll be right back with a nomnom!”

 

[nomnom here is food, its mamma in english often used to describe food for babies] 

 

That was the maid’s reaction when I woke up and mumbled reflexively.

 

“Oh, I didn’t change your diaper very quickly? Oh, I am so bad. Let’s take a bath, our pretty youngest lady.”

 

No, I just twisted my body a little bit.

 

If I were to describe my childhood in one word, it would be neglect.

 

Neglect, Cold treatment, Abuse.

 

Until now, I have been through a time when these words were enough to describe myself.

 

‘However you’re even paying attention to my little moves?’

 

Oh, is it perhaps surveillance, not attention?

 

It was a little convincing to think that.

 

‘Right, if it’s not like that, there is no way they would be like that even at night when everyone is sleeping.’

 

I was pleased to find the answer to what I was wondering about these days.

 

There was always a person next to the cradle as if it would be a big deal if they took their eyes off me.

 

* * *

 

No matter how many times I think about it, my mother must have a wonderful power.

 

Otherwise, there was no way I would sleep like a child every time I get patted.

 

Anyway…….

 

When I opened my eyes, after I filled my stomach and was put to sleep by my mother, it was dark around me.

 

Of course, even this room had a small light on.

 

‘Huh? I think it’s a bit too dark.’

 

It wasn’t the first time I woke up in the middle of the night and so I turned my head in wonder.

 

‘Gasp’

 

At that moment I was surprised.

 

Because there was a big mountain in front of the cradle.

 

‘Ah, no . It wasn’t a mountain.’

 

I blinked a few times before realizing what it was.

 

It was none other than my father.

 

‘I thought the world was already about to collapse.’

 

It was the first time that my father, who had a wolf-like impression and a huge body, was guarding the cradle in the middle of the night.

 

‘Well, of course I wasn’t sure because I was sleeping.’

 

My mother’s pat had a really scary effect.

 

Anyway, the fact that it was not a sign of destruction made me breathe out a little ‘phew’.

 

It was a sound that you wouldn’t have heard unless you focused really hard.

 

A big mountain no, my father, turned around and opened his mouth.

 

“Our youngest, are you awp?”

[Our youngest, are you up?]

 

Pardon?

 

I doubted my ears for a moment.

 

‘I must have heard it wrong right?’

 

Maybe my ears are being weird because I just woke up.

 

What I mean is, that it was a sound that didn’t fit the big body.

 

However……

 

“Our youngest, aren’t you hungry? Do you want me to give you a nomnom? Or do you want me to change your diaper?”

 

Uh…..

 

What am I listening to right now?

 

It was a cute one tone up high pitched voice that did not match the charismatic impression of a wolf at first glance.

 

Of course, I’ve seen him shed tears since we first met, but…….

 

But this really doesn’t suit you….. Father……

 

Maybe it’s because I was faced with a situation that I didn’t even think about.

 

“Hiccup, hic–”

 

I wasn’t surprised at all – I’m telling you, I’m not surprised at all! – the hiccups just popped out.

 

Regardless of what was inside, this body is a baby.

 

“Oh dear, my youngest, were you surprised? It’s Dad, it’s not a scary person.”

 

No, why is my father about to cry again.

 

I’m telling you I’m not scared at all. It’s just, it’s just that I was so dumbfounded.

 

It’s really true though……

 

“My Anastasia, did you fowget my face because I don’t visit you often?”

[My Anastasia, did you forget my face because I don’t visit you often?]

 

No, what the hell do you think I am?

 

I was infinitely being wronged.

 

Even if I’m a baby, my eyes and head are fine.

 

I don’t think I’d forget my family’s faces already, it’s not like it’s been a thousand years!

 

It was a very unfair misunderstanding.

 

However, my father seemed to think that the misunderstanding that I was scared was true.

 

My father, who sniffed because he was upset about being scary, picked me up-surprisingly skillful and stable- and then started patting me.

 

“It’s okay, our youngest. It’s Dad. D-A-D.

I’m not a scary person, I’m also not a monster.”

 

Heuk heuk. I’m not scared at all. I’m telling you the truth.

 

Far from a vicious monster, even if destruction comes, I’m telling you I’m not afraid of anything, I can defeat them all.

 

Of course, I can’t do it right now, but only when I grow up.

 

The baby’s body is so weak that if you use even a little bit of power, it gets a little tiresome.

 

However, this desperate explanation……

 

“Hng.”

 

The baby’s body, which was still young, betrayed me and let out a whimper.

 

It was really uncomfortable.

 

Even if I try to say something with my baby’s body, I can’t even babble yet.

I always end up letting out a crying noise.

 

‘I did think this would be annoying……’

 

You’re here to take care of me, and yet you’re the one whining and crying.

 

I’ve always been a quiet baby even though I’ve been left unattended, but right now I feel even more wronged.

 

I think I’ve become a nuisance baby regardless of my intentions.

 

“Oh, my youngest. Is the hiccup weird? It’s okay, it’s okay.”

 

However, my father comforted me as if he understood everything.

 

At one point, when the hiccups naturally stopped, he carefully made eye contact and even showed a bright smile.

 

“Our youngest is so admirable, she knows how to stop her hiccups. You diw good.”

[You did good]

 

My hiccups started on its own, and it stopped over time, and yet you compliment it?

 

As expected, it was so strange.

 

‘Perhaps….. I…’

 

I wasn’t born into a family full of ridiculous pushovers, right…….?

 

I was deeply troubled by my angelic father.

 

‘Yes right, there was a man like that.’

 

It was a case where he couldn’t refuse his family’s request so he gave them assurance and ended up getting humiliated.

 

It might be a new case of hardship to commemorate my 100th life.

 

‘No way, it’s a guaranteed path to  hell….’

 

I’ve always lived my life as a teenager, but I knew very well how terrifying guarantees are.

 

My goal was to live moderately here and die without being bothered.

 

Thanks to this, I felt a sense of duty to stay alert.

 

‘I don’t like the troublesome life of being busy preventing leaks here and there while also being worried about a debt!’

 

I didn’t know if he knew my concerns or what.

 

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“Anastasia, our pretty youngest. You wawnt me to put you to sweep now?”

[You want me to put you to sleep now?]

 

My father was just making these easygoing sounds.