Julius Caesar

-FOUR MONTHS LATER-

----NOW----

Alexander's POV.

"You will not tell me how to treat my son-" I breathe heavily, rubbing my eyes.

"Go easy on him," Samara sighs on the other side of the phone. "Please. Him going to you isn't easy. He knows that it means reopening healing wounds."

"Goddammit, why is talking with my son so damn difficult?"

"Because it is difficult-" she says. "He changed."

"I know-"

"It's just that I'm really worried about him-" She says and sniffs. "What if this makes him worse? What if he gets all hysterical again?"

"You won't be as worried as his own father. I am not daft-"

"Sharon says he's improving, but I don't see it-" She confesses and I sigh. "He didn't even utter a word, Alexander. Not even a laugh. But- but he does smile. But I'm just so scared. What if Sharon's decision that this is the right time to introduce him to all of this is wrong?" Her voice breaks and I shut up.

"She is the best-" I mutter sadly. "I chose her myself, Samara. I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

And it is true. I am the one who chose Sharon to treat Julius. I got her from the Czech Republic when Samara called me that day, claiming that Julius proposed to her and needed a psychiatrist before marriage.

"I'm just worried."

I rub my temples and close eyes momentarily. "I'm sure he's getting better. I mean what you told me means that there's still a part of him fighting all that depression. I mean, for God's sake, Samara, he married you despite all you both have been through. He's making all the right decisions despite it all."

Samara sighs and I feel her relax a little. "Yes. You're right."

"I'll see what I can do-" I then hesitate a little before, "How's -uh- how's the baby?"

"Kicking hard as ever-" came her fast, excited reply.

"And -erm- when are you due?"

"I'm not sure. But maybe a week, a few days from now, tomorrow-?" She tells me and I suppress a smile. "He isn't here yet?" She then asks and almost instantly Dina (America quit) steps into the reception of Augustus' house- where I had decided to move- to tell me that Julius has arrived.

"He just came. I'll call back later-" I whisper and hang up.

Julius, in a crisp, coal-black coat, black pants, and boots, steps inside, looking as confident and strong as ever. His head is carrying short, platinum-blonde hair. Much shorter than he liked to have it. He glances at me nonchalantly and I try not to frown at how older he seems to look with his hollow cheeks and stubble that gave him a haunting, yet quite attractive five-o-clock shadow.

He slowly settles himself on the couch facing mine.

I watch him sink back in the couch, take deep, calming breaths before spreading his arms on the armrest and looking at me with subtly raised brows. His long legs are spread in front of him and he tilts his head as if telling me to speak. To spit it all out and waste no time.

He looks at me like I am unworthy of his respect. Like he came here for revenge by letting me see what has become of what I let everyone through. And I deserve it. I deserve every single ounce of his fury. I deserve this resolve in his teary yet sharp emeralds that promise an eternity of unforgiveness.

"Look, son-" I say, my heart hurting at his condition and the simmering hatred that fills his eyes. "I'll tell you what you came here to hear. My confession that it's all my fault. You. Your brother. Yes-" I sigh heavily, shift a bit, and look down. "I don't know where to start-" I clear my throat. " So I'll start from the very beginning. Your mother's will."

I tell him the whole story about how his mother didn't trust me and had wanted me to have Gorj only if I took care of him. I tell him how I saw him as a very gifted child that could be of great use to what we do. I tell him about Adrianna, Augustus' mother. I tell him about it all as he listens with clenched jaws.

"It's true," I then say slowly. "Gorj is an advertising company, but it, along with a couple of other companies, let that be our disguise as we worked with the government to track down the greatest criminals of all time. Like-" I frown and fumble with my rings. "Like LEO. And like the nineteen other people you were assigned to kill. And needless to say, due to obvious reasons- like swearing an oath to not disclose such information until necessary, this had to remain a secret. Even from you."

"Look," I sigh heavily. "I was very harsh. I admit. Trying to eradicate all your emotions by hurting you was another mission I had to accomplish-" I shake my head. "I treated you terribly so that you'd grow up completely devoted to the 'business'. I killed your lover-" I start with a frown. "Humiliated you. Let you go on to London, giving you the false impression that you've got it all under your control when I was always the one behind the controls.

"I admit, I didn't know about your whereabouts when you first left after Audrey's death with absolutely nothing to track you down with. It was smart noticing that the Mustang was there to track you down. I'd even passed it on to your brother-" I breathe out hesitantly but he seems unaffected. Or he just pretends to be so.

"I gave him the car because I had assigned him to look for you in the beginning and I wanted to track him. A precaution," I purse my lips. "But it got much more difficult than I'd anticipated. Augustus was obsessed with his Porsche -silly really, but Augustus was Augustus. This deemed the Mustang useless. But that was fine because by that time, we had already located you and I had told Augustus to delete the picture I sent of you for reference. I hadn't even imagined that you would meet him and bond. Bond like this-" I vaguely refer to him and his condition.

He blinks and clears his throat.

"My men found Sam -the wrong one- after asking about her in the university-" I continue. "As you did-" I glance at him. "I admit I didn't know who the real 'Sam' was. And that was why I was very angry when you killed Orville. The girl was never supposed to play any part in the story. We knew she was innocent through and through. But you killing Orville gave us no choice but to get to her. And we aren't supposed to involve the innocent in this risky work of ours.

"I was even angrier when I figured that I'd wasted my time and resources by sending people to track down the wrong 'Sam'," I say. "There were no records of a Sam 'Ricardo' who has a father as a lawyer with the description we knew of. But I figured that was only natural given the fact that Orville was a crazy criminal and was involved in law- he might've done something to eradicate the records.

"In fact, there wasn't even any record of anyone called Samara Ricardo with a father as a lawyer, with the description we knew. Because her real name was Samara Orville Ricardo. And I figured that out just-" I pause and he raises his eyebrows, urging me to continue. "-just that day. It hadn't crossed my mind that Ricardo wasn't his first name.

"And that's why we followed your lead. We too thought that the 'Sam' you had, in the beginning, was our target. It took so much time to react because we first needed to track you down. Because I needed to calm you down. And we almost did get to you several times but you'd just slip between our fingers. That was until we noticed ten hotel reservations by the name 'Romeo Rendz' in two weeks. A bit too frequent for a normal person.

"The chase stopped very soon after we found you when I got to know that the 'Sam' we were looking for was blind. My team had figured that out by finding an article about an accident Orville had. His name hasn't been used obviously, but from the description, we were sure it was him. He was a public figure with a soaring reputation. Anyone could tell it was him. Orville.

"And when I said I was going to monitor you when I came over to London, I wasn't lying-" I say and glance at him. He is sitting very still, absorbing my words. "So we only got to know about her, Samara, through you."

I shift and clasp my hands. "You must be wondering, why track down the girl when I could've tracked down her brothers from the beginning? Truth is, we don't do magic and they're simply untrackable- their speciality, being damn geniuses about how to handle themselves online and change their identities. And you were the magnet that attracted them to here. You absolutely impressed us with how you've figured out about Danielle."

He looks up again, closes his eyes, and looks away.

"You had a whole crew behind you, trying to solve the same mystery you were fighting to solve. I knew you were mad at me-" I say. "But I let you be because it gave you the motivation we were looking for. The motivation that got you to your senses and feet. When you got the doc.u.ments in your hands," I pause and sigh. "It was kind of a test. To see your response. Should it be that you went to the police, it, of course, would've been fine, because they worked with us. But you chose not to because of the fear I put in your heart."

Julius' lips twitch.

"Getting those doc.u.ments drove Lucien and Esteban nuts-" I smile. "They knew that those doc.u.ments were the key to bring Gorj down. Through you. They thought you were going to dethrone me or something, and take over. That would, of course, unburden them. Because bringing you in, they thought, would destroy the whole purpose of Gorj. They didn't know that you really couldn't take over Gorj even if you had the right to- at least not then. They didn't know that it was authorized for me until you were m.a.t.u.r.e enough to be introduced to our matters. So why to chase the doc.u.ments in the first place, right?

"I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but those doc.u.ments didn't only contain your mother's will. They contained some proof for some of my unauthorized actions-" I close my eyes and rub them as I finally confess. "I'm not a good person. No, Julius, truly, I am not." I say despite how it is too odd to tell my son something like this. "And I know that the greater good lies in the hands of Gorj. I couldn't just let my stupid, reckless actions get in the way. So this makes it all, all my fault. Not yours in any way. And this is perhaps another reason why I was harsh on you. I was afraid you'd fall for what I fell for. That was why I was constantly warning you about how you only kill for Gorj. That there's a thin line between mission and p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e. That you had to always be in control of everything. Your emotions. Your anger."

And it is true. Anger is the only enemy to my control.

Julius raises his eyebrows as if unimpressed.

"Anyway-" I breathe loudly. "-what really brought the Mini Ricards on the chessboard was you taking the four other doc.u.ments that don't concern us, not the fact that you had our doc.u.ments back. Because like I said, you getting the doc.u.ments was an advantage to them- they wanted Gorj down through you. They were stupid, and I, of course, managed to track them down after the first day you met in that dark park-"

I shake my head and continue. "And when you asked for my 'help'- I was surprised because I thought it was over when you handed them back their doc.u.ments. I didn't think they'd be petty enough to bother you again. I didn't know what they did to you." I sigh. "Either way, it was planned. Esteban, the heart of LEO- the reason they named him 'Leonard' if you hadn't noticed- would have to die.

"According to my plan, we were also going to immediately get hold of Lucien, but he disappeared after Esteban's death, to our immense frustration. We knew about Lucien's hate to Esteban so we kind of did expect him to disappear. We thought he'd run away. But oddly he decided to reappear when you were 'abducted'."

I shrug. "It was unexpected. I didn't think he'd ever use his clueless sister. I didn't think he could even use you like this. So it was pathetic to have witnessed your fall for a trap like this-" I say slowly. "Because your heart had led you astray again. So I let you suffer a bit by not sending anyone to help you out. A little humiliation managed to always teach you a lesson or two. Meanwhile, we were planning extensively about what should happen. Every and each detail. We were planning how to eradicate LEO for good."

I c.o.c.k my head to glance at him, but his expression is neutral.

"It's true-" I say. "Lucien did tell Samara to abduct you for the sake of luring me in to do something about his 'situation'. He knew who I was. Knew very well of my power and position. Lucien chose right. He knew he couldn't just ′run away' from those who hired him after the death of his brother, because he knew his brother's death would mean breaking the contract they had made. After all, it's the internet. Meaning, that they, who hired him, could track him anywhere in the damn world and kill him. Bloody geniuses."

"Samara," I start with a smirk. "-being emotionally-confused with extreme trust issues and a great weak point for you was a great pawn in Lucien's game. She played her part very well. Her major part was believing Lucien and relaying his messages to you to try to figure out how to actually 'lure me'. Lucien knew that killing you wouldn't get him anywhere, thus I left you there, knowing you'd be safe. So he emotionally abused the information out of you through your love. They didn't know I was coming anyway without all that drama.

"You did us a great favour by wasting his time and giving us more time to efficiently plan this whole scheme out. You not cooperating, gave Lucien the sense that you were hiding something- something he thought would lure me. If he knew that I was coming unpredictably, he would've fled.

"Lucien wanted me, yes. He needed my help, yes. But he wanted it in his terms. He didn't want me to overpower him- which was what I did. The plan was-" I start, waving my hands around. "It was-It was- perfect! Almost perfect. Brilliant! Until-"

At that, Julius jolts to his feet, his eyes already watering.

"I won't say a thing, I swear-" I try to say as he swipes at his nose with his index finger, sniffing. "Julius, please, son, don't rip my heart on you like this."

"It hurts too, son-" I say sadly, looking at him.

He turns to me, tears spilling down his now-red face, and grimaces.

I try to swallow my grief as I stare at his destitute condition. "If I could ever go back in time-" I choke out. "-I really wouldn't change a thing-" I shake my head. "Except for-for one thing-"

He diverts his gaze to me, his nose flaring and his tears falling.

"I would've let Augustus know you since his day one. It'd be an honour. An honour for him-"

He blinks at me before covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking worlds.

"But, son-" I say gently, my eyes watering. "-he'd hate what you're going through right now for him-" I shake my head. "You have to move on. For yourself. For Samara. And if not for all those-" I try attempting a smile. "For your coming son or daughter. You have to be the father I never was to you-"He looks up, lips frowning and eyes red. "Strong. Supportive. And always physically and mentally there for them in every important moment in his or her life."

He inhales deeply and looks away.

"Augustus-" I say painfully. "-is a sad past but surely a good memory. But he's only a memory, son. You can't let a memory destroy you like-like this."

He clasps his hands, brings them to his lips, and closes his eyes.

"You're the only thing I have left in this damned world-" I breathe heavily. "And the amount of regret I carry in my heart will never be enough to deserve your forgiveness-" I say truthfully, clasping my shaky hands. "I destroyed you. But no matter what- Julius, my son-" I look at the ring with the black gem on my finger. "-you've always taken a great part of my heart. You are my son. Which means that every time I look at you, I see a part of me. In your hair, voice, and personality. How can I hate you?"

His face remains stoic.

"I never hated you-" I press. "And I'm not pitying you-" I add quickly. "I'm not telling you this just because you're ′ill'. In fact, I don't consider you ill. Grief isn't an illness. It demands to be felt like fear and pain. And it'll take its time. All that matters is your strength to stand up for it.

"I'm telling you all this-" I look down sadly. "-because today I'm setting you free. This last 'mission' wasn't like any other previous ones. You dealt with the beginnings and lived every detail of the story. Unlike the others where you just dealt with the endings by killing whoever deserved it. You can live your life the way you choose it to be. You can pursue your passions. You can forget I ever existed and live happily.."

At that, he slowly gets up as if ending the conversation. I follow suit and look at him regretfully.

"I wish you the very best in life Julius-" I say, my eyes watering as I looked at his unforgiving expression. "This whole thing. This whole story-" I frown. "Made me believe in coincidence's power. That nothing is ever my plan. That it has been always God's plan."

Julius gives me a once-over with his ocean-green eyes, smirks and walks away from me, hands shoved in his coat's pockets. And looking at him walk away from me, was like watching my other son die and walk out of my life forever.

I sit back down on the sofa, reach for my cigar, and light it up.