Killing the Same Person Every Time

Chapter 11

The night is dark and a brisk wind blows; it is the bleakest point of the day.

Bu Bai chose a quiet place to drink alone. He was not a fool. He was still able to tell whether Yan Shu actually loved him or not. It’s just that he was a little unwilling to accept this fact. And although Bu Bai liked Yan Shu, it wasn’t to the point where he would take off his proud shell and serve his dignity on a plate for Yan Shu to trample on. Only when no one is around, will Bu Bai feel at ease and reveal his insecurities.

After drinking an entire jug of wine, Bu Bai’s vision begins to blur. In his drunken haze, he saw a figure dressed in brilliant red approach him.

The man gently picks him up. His embrace gave off a sense of familiarity, so Bu Bai did not push him away. He looked at the man and asked, “Why doesn’t he like me?”. The scent of alcohol drifted out between his lips, and the man pauses. Then suddenly, Bu Bai’s closed teeth were pried open by the man’s agile tongue. Bu Bai tried to resist, but his limbs were trapped by the man. The fragrance of icy peach blossoms echoed in his mouth, creating an uncontrollable impulse. He responded with desperate desire entangle with the block of ice exploring his mouth.

Feeling such enthusiasm, Xing Yan’s cold dark eyes suddenly turned deep red with satisfaction. He looked at the man intoxicated by alcohol and revealed a cruel smile. This time, you sent yourself to my door, so you can’t blame me for what happens next.

Before encountering Bu Bai, he’d never wanted to possess a man as much as now. After meeting him, he will never want anyone else again. The gorgeous man in red didn’t know when the drugged youth became a permanent mark in his heart. Even if his heart was cut open, it was no longer possible to erase the traces left by this youth.

It was the first time he had held such an enchanting youth, and he couldn’t hold back. A long time later, after they finally finished, he waited quietly on the bed for Bu Bai to wake up.

The feeling of waking up from a hangover was not pleasant. Bu Bai glances around and immediately notices the man beside him. At that moment, he immediately became aware of the mistakes committed in the shroud of darkness. This posture, this time, and the lingering smell of wine all hints at the ambiguous events of last night.

The expression in Bu Bai’s eyes turns from shock to anger, and finally becomes stained with intense pain. He grabbed an abandoned sword haphazardly thrown on the ground beside the bed and pointed it at Xing Yan’s chest. “How dare you?” Bu Bai questions, unsure if he’s asking Xing Yan or himself.

Instead of retreating, Xing Yan took a step forward, allowing the sharp point of the sword to cut through his delicate skin: “Master, you were drunk last night.”

I really was drunk… The sword slipped from Bu Bai’s hand. This matter cannot be blamed entirely on Xing Yan: “Did I force you?”

“This subordinate was willing” Xing Yan answered, his calm eyes hiding the turbulent inner thoughts. “I like you, master.”

Bu Bai’s eyes were dull and he couldn’t accept what had happened for a long time. The man he trusted the most harbored feeling that he shouldn’t have. For a moment, he was unable to accept it: “From now on, don’t let me see you again.” If you don’t want to kill him, it’s better to not see him.

Bending down to look for the clothes that had been randomly thrown on the ground last night, Bu Bai’s mind was a mess: “Boss, am I really the kind of person who drinks and becomes frivolous?”

*Note: Lao Da = boss

The boss actually saw everything that happened last night. He also knew that his family’s host was the one who had been eaten by Xing Yan, but it’s not a bad idea to use this opportunity to teach him a lesson. It’s a measure to prevent Bu Bai from falling to others’ evil schemes in the future because he was too fond of drinking.

Suddenly, the door was opened from the outside, and the dazzling rays of sunshine lit up the room. A layer of frost formed in Bu Bai’s heart. The visitor was Yan Shu.

After scanning the situation in the room, Yan Shu understood what had happened. He was not someone who hadn’t experienced ** before, and the two people in front of him didn’t have any intention of hiding. He looked at the Bu Bai covered in red marks and apologized with a mocking smile: “I’ve disturbed the two of you, please carry on.”

“Shu Shu, I can explain.” Bu Bai was about to run after him, but Xing Yan quickly grabbed him and his angry voice appeared in his ear: “Put your clothes on properly before going out.”

Bu Bai then noticed the state of his body, and suddenly lost the will to chase. He fell softly in place without saying a word.

So what if I catch him? I can’t deny what I did. What is there to explain.

Besides, the man himself doesn’t care. He never cared about me. Even if Bu Bai deliberately injured his finger while working, his sight would never linger for more than a minute on him and there was not a single sign of distress.

Ultimately, there no love.

It’s only Bu Bai alone that is in a fluster and wants to explain.

Xing Yan gently draped a coat over Bu Bai’s shoulders and stood watching him silently. He used everything he had to restrain his urge to keep Bu Bai from rushing out. Only he knows how much he wants to catch the youth’s eye and become the only one in his sight.

In the end, he can’t stay here for too long since it’s easy for him to recall his previous frenzy and embarrassment. Besides, he still has to explain what happened to Yan Shu. When loving a person, first to fall is the loser.

Bu Bai never thought that dressing could be such an ordeal. It was like his hands had rusted and he could not put them in the right place. At last, although the clothing was loose and baggy, at least he was dressed.

He struggled to find the place where Yan Shu was. Every step he took invoked a tearing pain, but he didn’t have the time think about it, single-mindedly sought out his life’s faith.

“Shu Shu”

Yan Shu did not go far, and he himself did not understand why he stopped. There seemed to be a sharp twinge of unresolved melancholy in his chest.

“That was a misunderstanding. I drank too much last night and didn’t expect something like this to happen.” Bu Bai explained awkwardly, with moist eyes.

“What does that have to do with me? Wasn’t master always such a person? I don’t even want to know how many youths you played with before me. You were only hiding before, now I see your true face“ Yan Shu says with sarcasm.

“It’s not like that, Shu Shu.” Bu Bai had never explained anything to anyone before, and he’d never needed to explain. Consequently, he didn’t know how to absolve himself.

“Ultimately, Yan Shu is but a toy for master. Master should not care too much. Whichever youth the master fancies, is the one master should play with. Yan Shu will not question your choices.” Yan Shu was originally not a harsh person, but today, it’s like his entire personality flipped. His words hurt people like knives.

Bu Bai did not argue anymore. He fixed his eyes on Yan Shu and showed a crazy smile: “Shu Shu, I’ve already said, if I did something wrong, you can punish me at will. If you won’t do it, I will, okay?” The moment he finished, he pulled out his sword and stabbed himself in the stomach, leaving only an inch of the sword hilt exposed: evidence of how much force Bu Bai had stabbed himself with.

Blood trickled out of Bu Bai’s mouth as he looked at Yan Shu and asked, “Is that enough?”

“Enough” Yan Shu roared at Bu Bai and rushed forward to pull out his sword. Blood splattered with the removal of the sword and stained his pale blue sleeves. Similar to how the floating petals were dyed red, Yan Shu’s entire world became shrouded with a bloody haze.

In the midst of the flying petals, a teenager in a pale blue robe a youth covered in blood. His face showing desperate worry. While not far behind them, stood the teenager in red; his vision already stained with blood.

Bu Bai wasn’t injured lightly this time. Yan Shu could only stay beside him all day to take care of him. Seeing Bu Bai frequently laughing like a fool, he couldn’t help but fret. He acts like a big baby and only allows Yan Shu to feed him medicine.

A few days later, it was Yan Shu’s birthday. Bu Bai made a specially scented sachet for him. The spices in it were carefully arranged by him so that the fragrance was the same as the one on him. In addition, there is also a little secret inside; a secret that he is not yet prepared to tell Yan Shu in person

When the time came, Yan Shu came to give him medicine as usual. However, Yan Shu seemed particularly absent-minded today. It was to the point that he almost spilled the medical soup several times. Bu Bai saw him like this and was worried: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Yan Shu returned impatiently. Bu Bai was shocked by the disgust in his scrunched up eyebrows. He had not seen Yan Shu like this for a long time.

“Shu Shu, this is for you.” Bu Bai took the prepared sachet from under his pillow and handed it to Yan Shu, his face filled with expectations.

“Oh.” Yan Shu returned.

The expected joy did not come, and Bu Bai was disappointed. He continued to obediently drink Yan Shu’s medical soup.

Yan Shu left with the empty medicine bowl, leaving the dazed Bu Bai alone to stare at his distant figure.

It soon became the season for cherry blossoms; pink dots scattered with the wind like snow clouds. However, there will always be people like could not appreciate the scene. Yan Shu is one of these individuals. He was still thinking about what happened last night. Just as he was about to fall asleep, the young man who’d once had saved his life broke in wearing black clothes and asked him if he wanted to run away together.

*Note: the man in black is Xing Yan btw

He was willing. No man can stand to be pressed down by another man for pleasure. It was the same for him. He hated Bu Bai, who had harmed him to this point and forced him into his current wretched situation. That’s why, when the man suggested that he should give Bu Bai a knockout drug to help them escape, he agreed without hesitation

When he arrived in the kitchen, Yan Shu watched for the moment when everyone was distracted to poured a bag of white powder into Bu Bai’s medical soup. While stirring the turbid liquid, his eyes were full of excitement at soon reclaiming his freedom.

What he didn’t realize was that the hardest part was to be stared at by the youth’s trusting eyes. Yan Shu’s hands stared trembled inexplicably. He’d told himself in his heart that the man in front of him had crushed all his dignity and almost killed him, so he shouldn’t feel any pity for him.

Although the warm medicine soup was bitter as it slid down his throat, Bu Bai was able to taste a trace of sweetness as he joyfully watched the youth feed him, and he became surrounded by an aura of happiness.

Suddenly, Bu Bai felt dizzy. He panicked and quickly grabbed Yan Shu’s sleeve. The white porcelain bowl fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces just like the youth’s loving heart.

“Why?” Why do you want to hurt me? Is it not enough for me to open my whole heart to you?

After a brief struggle, the drug finally entered his bloodstream, and Bu Bai fell into a coma. His hand slipped off Yan Shu’s sleeve as he lost consciousness. Yan Shu’s expression is somewhat complicated. His hand tightened around the dagger hidden in his clothes, but he couldn’t will himself to pull it out. After a few unsuccessfully tries, he finally gives up.

It’s too easy for him to die like this, Yan Shu thought. Looking at Bu Bai state of unconsciousness, he made up his mind: the day I come back is the day of your annihilation.

With Xing Yan’s help, the escape was much simpler than expected. By the time someone found out, they’d already escaped far away, and the only person who could call for people to catch them was still unconscious.