Knight of the Sea

Warning: Indirect mention of rape

Initially, Hai Lian thought that he could persist until the fifth act amidst the inaudible babbling of the performers, but in the end, he couldn’t even remember when he fell asleep. It was such that even when someone came to shake him awake, his eyelids still refused to budge, as if glued together. Holding onto the back of his seat, he slightly sat up and sluggishly looked up at the other, his voice lethargic and hazy, “Who…”

“Brother.”

This voice was soft and milky. In it was a note of grievance and pain, but to Hai Lian’s ears, it was no less than a clap of thunder. The young man’s drowsy eyes immediately widened; he got up without a word and prepared to leave. 

“Brother…” The young girl hastily pulled at his sleeve.

She was nearly in tears.

Ever since they were children, Hai Lian had always been helpless before Xiao Yu’s tears. Knowing he would no longer be able to escape, he gave a long sigh before turning around.

“Why are you here?”

“I came with Her Royal Highness,” Xiao Yu gestured upwards.

“Then what did you come down for?”

“I……” Xiao Yu faltered, “I wanted to see you.”

“Well, now that you’ve seen me, it’s time for you to go back,” Hai Lian glanced at the box above before repeating, “Go back now; it’s not suitable for you to stand here.”

“What’s not suitable?”

“Didn’t I tell you when I sent you over there?” The young girl’s slender fingers were still gripping onto his sleeves, and Hai Lian didn’t have the heart to shake them off. 

“In the future, don’t call me brother anymore, Miss Hai Yu.” He said coldly as a last resort to make her let go.

“What did you just call me?!”

Hai Yu’s apricot eyes suddenly misted over. Taking a step forward, she raised her chin. Hai Lian could no longer meet her pellucid eyes. 

“What did you just call me?”

“……” Hai Lian had already regretted his words the moment they came out, so he didn’t know how to explain himself. The only thing he could do was apologize, “Sorry……”

“After sending me off to Qipan Street, you have been visiting me less and less. Lady Yener says it’s because you’re busy, busy making money, busy making money for my dowry—but, I have never wanted a dowry! Before, when we still lived at Yangjiao Alley, I would always sit in front of our door waiting for your return. Even though my stomach was empty, my heart felt so full! Nowadays, they have taught me how to read and write. I’m no longer hungry. Look at these earrings; they were gifted by Her Highness today.” Hai Yu’s speech was quick and urgent. The dainty and lustrous pearl on her earlobe quivered faintly, the movement mirroring her currently trembling fingers. “Right now, I am living a life that I wouldn’t have even dared to dream about in the past, but I always feel like there is something missing.”

She took one more step forward. Hai Lian couldn’t move backwards and only watched with widened eyes as the young girl rested her head at the center of his chest.

“……Brother, do you not want me anymore?” She asked feebly.

Hai Lian was speechless.

The strength his sister had used to grip his sleeves was not great; if he wanted to wrench his hand away, it would only take a slight effort to be able to do it. But he couldn’t do it. Just like how he couldn’t give a reply to Hai Yu’s most recent question.

After his mother had died, Hai Lian thought that he, his father and younger sister could depend on each other for survival and live comfortably and peacefully in this foreign land. But not even several years later, his father had disappeared, and he, a young lad who had not even reached twelve years of age, who had not even gone through puberty yet and was still wet behind the ears, was forced to bring up a six-year-old girl. Under these circumstances, surviving in Jiumeng City was next to impossible. All he wanted was to be able to carve out a crevice within this melting pot of ethnicities and cultures where he and Hai Yu could quietly exist. But even filling their stomachs took all of his effort. So when he got the opportunity to join the Baihu gang, he unhesitatingly grabbed his knife and entered their den.

Once, he wanted to thank the Baihu gang; even if the Baihu gang ordered him around like a dog, at least they gave him a slim chance of survival. He relied on instinct, his knife, and his crappy life to fight, armed, at close quarters with those jackals and wolves, beasts of prey, and scoundrels. 

Returning to Yangjiao Alley with this money, he was able to buy his little sister a cottage and a white dress, and every few days, they would be able to have a little bit of meat in their meals1this would be considered a luxury. He thought their days would get better and better, and one day, he would be able to save enough money to take Hai Yu away from this place so that they could live a stable and comfortable life.

But these hopeful visions were dashed on the night he saw that tiny crumpled-up body sobbing convulsively at the corner of the bed, and the bright splotches of blood staining the sheets next to her snowy white dress.

Even though three years had already passed, Hai Lian still continued to have recurring nightmares where he would revisit this scene. The reason why he fought through hell for so many years was so that his younger sister wouldn’t be contaminated by the depravity of their surroundings. She was his precious last remaining family member; his father had repeatedly urged and entreated him hundreds of thousands of times to carefully cherish his sister, yet what was he doing during her darkest moment? What was he doing in the time of her greatest despair?

He knew that he had long since been abnormal. However, the guilt from that night prevented him from ever becoming normal, and the only thing left was insanity.

It’s not that I don’t want you but I can’t have you. If you stay with me, all that will await you is misfortune. How good would it be if you could have been Lady Yener’s daughter from birth. Not only would you have been able to wear pretty clothes but you would have never had to starve because of irregular meals either. Most importantly, you would have had a far better older brother than me.

Or if only you would have been born a little earlier. Not on the sea. When everyone feared that in the next second there would be pirates shooting cannonballs at our ship. Perhaps then, mother would not have died in childbirth, and our family could have lived a peaceful and comfortable life in Jiumeng City. Mother’s honey water is really delicious; I really want you to try it too.

These were words Hai Lian could never say.

Intermission was ending, and more and more eyes were falling upon the pair of siblings who refused to budge from their spots. The attendants positioned around the four corners of the theater had already begun inching closer, ready to question them. Hai Lian pursed his lips and asked, “Which act is it right now?”

Hai Yu made a noise of surprise, lifting her head: “The sixth act is about to begin soon.”

Hearing this, Hai Lian sighed again. Now that he had already missed out on Ahbri An’s hard work, there was no point in staying longer.

“Do you still want to continue watching the play?”

“No.” Hai Yu shook her head.

“Then let’s go out; we’ll continue our conversation outside.” Surreptitiously, Hai Lian lifted his other hand and enveloped the young girl’s fingers, “I will never not want you,” he promised quietly.

~~~

Fang Tinglan now felt indescribably anxious.

He knew that right now, he should be flattering the noble personage before his eyes alongside Qin Weiyu and using his suaveness and dandiness to make a good impression on the girls encircling them. It would be even better if he was able to elicit some insider information about the imperial family while he was at it and finally, when the timing was ripe, strategically withdraw from the conversation. Then, his supporting role would be considered successfully completed. However, at present, even his first step was disorderly. His eyes couldn’t help but continually glance at the scene below the balustrade; who knew where the rest of his thoughts had floated off to. 

It was that girl from before……

From his position aloft, Fang Tinglan had an unfiltered view of all the happenings below. When he saw the young girl nudging Hai Lian awake, his fingers uncontrollably twitched.

“What are you looking at?” Long Rong asked.

“Nothing.” Fang Tinglan turned his head back.

this would be considered a luxury