Living A New Life Without Regrets In A New World

Nothing. This feeling, nothingness is not new to me. As far as I remember, I have been carrying this feeling with me. It's as if I have no choice but to always carry it on my back. No matter how hard I try to let it go, it will always comes back. I thought that that was the worst, but I never thought that at the end of my life, nothingness will surround me. There's no darkness, no light, no sound, just nothing. Do I regret my decision now? I kinda do, but I don't think it matters anymore. I guess trying to be a hero is not really worth it.

I wonder how my parents reacted when they heard about it. That their son died because he tried to save a child from being hit by a truck. Do I regret it? I do. If only I didn't do it, I would've still been alive.

If only I was a good son, I think I will be feeling better right now. If only I listened to their advice and took up engineering, I bet I will be able to help them more. If only I didn't slack off when I was a student, I bet I would've been an honor student and they would've been proud of me. If only I lived longer, I would've been able to give them a better life. Damn, I shouldn't have died.

I hope that my siblings take care of our parents. I wonder if they would miss me. I did my best to be a good example. I really wanted to be someone they'll look up to, but I don't think I was good enough. I know I wasn't a good brother but God knows, I tried. Wait, damn. I don't think there's a god because if there were, I don't think I'd be stuck here. Anyways, I shouldn't think about it. I'll just go crazy. I hope they have a better life than I did.

Ah, my girlfriend. I really loved her. I wanted to marry her but here I am, stuck at nowhere. If only I was a better boyfriend. If only I stopped being insecure about myself. If only I were able to trust her more, I believe that she would've been happier when we were together. If only I was better. God, if only I lived my life in a better way. God, god damn it. There's no god. I am alone. There is something after death, its a bunch of nothing. Damn it.

"So, uhm, are you done with your monologue?"

"Uh, what? Is anyone there? Damn, I'm already going crazy."

Just as he finished this thought, a blinding light shone out of nowhere. He closed his eyes tightly as the light hurt his eyes. When he opened his eyes, he perceived being in a four-cornered room without any corners. He felt as if the room is so big yet so cramped. While looking around, he saw a man sitting in front of a small coffee table, sipping tea leisurely. The man just looked at him as if looking at a helpless child.

"Don't tell me you're God,"

""Well, I am Who I Am.""

If he is who he says he is, then he already know everything in my head, he thought.

"So why? You know what I'm thinking. You know my questions. You know everything. If you're gonna judge me, at least answer my questions."

The man answered, "Well, I won't tell you I am God because I am not. I'm just a guy who sends people to the places where they should be. Reading your mind, and answering your existential questions are way above my pay grade." The man replied to him in an uninterested manner.

He was weirded out by the situation. He minced every word that the man said, and he was still confused.

Knowing that he's confused, the man sipping tea continued explaining his role.

"So, here's what I can do for you, I'll explain to you in layman's terms what's gonna happen to you next, and give you some sort of parting gift. Does that sound good?"

"What???"

"John, according to your profile, you're a smart man. So I thought I don't have to explain much, but it seems like I'm wrong so I guess I gotta do it from the start huh? Just when I thought I'll be able to...." The man didn't finish his sentence. He stopped sipping his tea and stood up.

"John, you died. When people die, they go to different places depending on the circ.u.mstances. In your situation you earned the right to be reincarnated to a new world. So to explain the place where you're going, you will be reborn to a world where Magic is another form of matter. It is something that can be controlled depending on the talent you have. Given that the One Above All has a special rule for people like you, you will be reborn with your memories in tact, and a high level of talent. Do you get it?"

The man stopped explaining and looked at John who's mouth is still agape ever since the man started his spiel. He noticed that John was still confused but didn't pay it any mind and continued.

"Since you're smart, I'll assume that you understood me. So, have a good life!"

"Wait! How can you talk earlier when you were sipping tea???"

As the man started to chant something, John tried to interrupt him by trying to run to him. However, no matter how hard he tried to run, how fast he think he went, and how near he thought the man was, he felt like he was still in the same place. While trying hard to run, a bright blue beam of light shone over him. He can no longer move. Confused, agitated, and at a lost, John tried his best to get out of what he think is a magic circle.

"I still have a lot of questions, I want to know what happened to my family after I died. I want to know if they're okay. Since there is a higher power, This man might know what will happen to them. I want to know. I have to ask."

As he thought of these in his mind, he heard the voice of the man in his head: "Dude, it's not my job to answer your questions. My job is to send you to your new life. So, have a good life!"