Living as an Unemployed in Another World

95 – 4. Silence in the Helmet (11)

11.

As I tapped the trunk of the tree, the knight stared blankly at me. Oh, well, that might be a bit rude. As I was about to slip her hand away, she turned around and sat down next to me.

“… ….”

A rather awkwardly long silence. As expected, do you feel a sense of distance from me because of the last incident? He threw all sorts of punches at someone who was originally a woman. Or maybe it’s because I saw Celine and her hallway earlier. Either way is the worst. In any case, if I don’t hold her hand, I won’t be able to have a conversation, so I’m waiting for a handshake as politely as possible, but she grabs my hand.

“… ….”

I’m not selfish, but I’m a little embarrassed. After finding out that she is a woman, I feel that I have become more cautious about dealing with things that are somewhat formal.

But what is it? It is clear that the aisle was connected by some spell, but nothing was heard. It’s just that the gloved hand is shaking slightly. Soon she spoke to me through her Bless.

『…… Are you okay?』

What is it? I tried to ask her, but I bit her mouth shut. Maybe he’s asking about something that just happened. It’s not okay, of course, but at least I can’t lament her for emotional problems. Especially since I knew how I had come to this inn alone.

“Okay, that’s fine. This is really embarrassing.”

『No. Well, I think it’s about time.”

Stop it. Don’t care about me any more I smiled on the brink of breaking and suddenly looked at the field where my eyes were piled up with snow. At least given the weather these days, the ground won’t thaw all winter. Only in spring will the buds sprout. That, no, she said to me, wiggling her empty hand.

『I told you last time, but this is the only place I can think of. That.”

“Yes.”

『Because of you, that didn’t mean anything special. I have no intention of making it difficult. It’s just that I’m speechless…… 』

I quietly listened to her story. So, seeing that scene earlier, she was just worried that what she said might be taken in a different way? Now that you’ve revealed your gender? I barely restrained myself from wanting to laugh out loud. Are all priests like this? Why are there so many pure people? No, no. Wasn’t the person who detained her adoptive father rather a high-ranking cardinal?

『…… Sorry. Let’s go.”

Soon after I didn’t react much because I was distracted by her thoughts, so she probably took my silence for a different meaning and tried to get away from me, turning her head away from her helmet. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. If she wanted to shake it off, she could pull it off as much as she wanted, but she didn’t and looked back at me.

“We didn’t do this the other day, did we?”

『…… 』

“If there is something you want to say, come and do it anytime. Because that’s all I can do.”

I tried to smile. In fact, I felt sorry for him because I couldn’t dare to guess the inner thoughts of spending all my time here even though I knew that my adoptive father would die soon, but I still smiled as much as I could. I hope you don’t think to yourself how the face inside the helmet is distorted.

With a plop, she sat down next to me again. Then she spoke to me in a rather timid tone.

『…… I do not know. What do you want to talk about?”

“… ….”

『The story of my life, the story of my father being captured, Jin, I told you everything. And yet…… I don’t know why there is so much lingering lingering. Even though all I can do is just speak out.”

I felt an unknown helplessness from her words. It’s ridiculous to say that the superman himself, the paladin of the god of order, is helpless, but at least to me, that familiar sense stuck to every word. Unavoidable situations, unavoidable moments. In life, such a moment will inevitably come. I ran away, and now I’m alive like this. But in the future? From the moment I noticed this in my heart, I guessed that I would meet the witch again someday, so I’m slowly changing.

I got the opportunity from everyone. From Celine, from Mira, Alphonse, Chloe, Gerald, Hilda, Janice…… I became an adventurer at some point, I was able to save someone, and I will probably go through many more in the future. Compared to the past four years, which had been smooth, the recent single season was more turbulent. And, I still think I am in that season. Spring has not come yet, and I am still at a crossroads. I had a sudden thought.

But…… At least this time, it’s not a situation where I can’t do anything. No matter how much I think about it in my humble head, the answer doesn’t come out. But she is still next to me, and although she doesn’t say a word herself, she clearly wants salvation, and it’s just a pity that I can’t be the subject.

I have thought about the word destiny. A conclusion has not yet been reached. I put in my mouth exactly what came to mind.

“If I say this, it may be blasphemy.”

“… ….”

“What did the god of order say?”

She was silent. The preceptor of a doctrine that the clergy put above any secular values. Gods actually exist in this world, and people worship those who exist. If even a goddess has a will, I would like to ask. Which should take precedence, your doctrine or the relationship with one person?

『…… You were silent. As always.”

I was silent after hearing her words. It was so heartbreaking, even though I couldn’t tell the difference between the voices. I felt that in the end everything just rolled on her wheel, and that she couldn’t avoid it either.

“Since I seem to have heard everything the driver said, I want to talk about myself this time.”

Finally, I opened my mouth. Except for the story of the distant past, except for the story of originally being a person from another world. Because it’s hard to believe what I’m saying. Instead, he confided everything, from the time he was with the witch to the end of this winter. Second after Mira. As for why he confided things to her that he hadn’t even revealed to her inn family, well. Even in this situation, should I say that I relied on her strong power? For some reason, I thought that it would feel like nothing to say about me standing in front of her noble spirit.

『So, is that person still chasing Jin?』

“Actually, I don’t know. Why did you plant this in me, do you still have lingering feelings…… Even though I have nightmares every day, I sometimes feel nostalgic about what actually happened there. He’s such a contradiction. I am.”

I was sincere. I murmured, clutching my chest.

“She wants her to forget about me all her life, but she herself can’t forget her all her life…… I have such a contradiction. Is it funny?”

『…… No.”

I didn’t mean to ask for your consent. I laughed awkwardly, but she took my hand with both of my hands quite seriously and said. I’m a little embarrassed.

『How hard was it?』

“…… Yes?”

“In the meantime, I have been here, I can’t tell this to anyone, and I still suffer from nightmares alone…. Even so, didn’t you do it differently than me?”

“Did you do it?”

『At the mansion.』

She just said that without any other rhetoric. About Mira. I suddenly noticed that the hand she was holding on to was shaking. It wasn’t just because the weather was cold. Through her gloves, the warmth of a solemn person was transmitted. Only…… Little, very little. Okay.

『I’m still running away, but in the end you managed to achieve your will. He was more like a knight than me. Don’t forget that.”

That’s embarrassing. Until now, I had never been so directly comforted by words for over a year.

So, it was a bit like that. That’s all. That was all.

“…… No way.”

I shouldn’t be like this. It has become like forcing comfort to someone who is in a more difficult situation than me. I widened my eyes trying not to make an unsightly expression as much as possible.

“…… Under.”

I cried. In the end, I had no choice but to let go so that a stream of hot liquid ran down my cheek. Through my blurry vision, I see the old helmet she was wearing. Suddenly, I had the urge to take off her helmet and see her face again.

Full of burns and scars, an ugly figure that calls itself a devil. However, that was an exaggeration. That gray hair and blue eyes, even if they had scars, were never something that could be disparaged by anyone.

I wiped away the tears with one hand. In the meantime, she didn’t let go of my hand. I breathed in the cold air outside and took a slow breath, then remembered my magic book that I had left on the desk.

“…… Knight.”

『Tell me』

“You said that not having a voice is a curse, right?”

She didn’t answer right away. Like why would you ask such a thing? I took her hand this time with mine and said.

“If there is a way to fix it, would you like to hear it?”

『…… Yes?”

The hand holding me feels a little stronger. I felt desperate from that touch. Why did I just think of it now, a guy like me still hasn’t developed anything.

If destiny is really real, you probably won’t be able to resist that great wheel.

I intend to desperately resist every little tooth.

One by one. Singly.

And it would be great if those twisted cogs could change something in the end.

That’s the best I can do for her, her benefactor.

It is a calling.