Love Hate Relationship

Sasha walked out of the bathroom minutes after to perceive cigarette smell, she frowned her face and wondered how it was possible to perceive the smell. She changed into her night wear and draped a robe on her body before following the scent out to the balcony where she saw Michael standing with a lit cigarette stick stuck in between his index and middle fingers. There were tons of cigarette butts laying on the floor and she couldn't contain her shock, Michael smokes?

"You smoke!" She exclaimed, jolting him out of his thoughts, he turned to look at her, seeing that she was now dressed in her night wear and a robe on her, he didn't know if he should be happy or sad, he looked away from her and took another drag from his stick and puffed out the smoke.

"What is wrong with it?" He asked.

"Nothing, just that you...it's not good for your health."

"I never knew I'm married to a doctor or did you just become one this night?"

Michael chuckled as he took yet another drag "what are you afraid of, that I'm going to die and make you a widow so soon? Don't worry, I still have long years to live."

Sasha took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, there is just no reasoning with him, she concluded and walked back into the room. She tucked herself into the bed but just couldn't sleep, the cigarette scent is really disturbing her, she hate smokers. She can remember she broke up with Daniel back then in school because she found out he smokes, same with Jerry and now here she is, married to a smoker, can heaven hate her more?

Sasha woke up in the middle of night cold, she turned on the bed to see her husband sleeping peacefully and bit her lip, should she go close to him? Don't touch me, her mind reminded her of his second rule and as she thought about it, she realized she can count how many times he had touched her and she? None. But it's so cold, she thought, well he is asleep, he wouldn't notice if she just lie a little closer to him. She took a deep breath and shifted a little closer to him but she was not satisfied.

She shifted a little more and could already feel his body warmth but she got greedy, she wants her body to touch his and so shifted again, her back was now touching his ramrod like chest, her head on his hand with her hair close to his face, she stifled her breathing while she waited for him to wake up and when he didn't, she relaxed and closed her eyes.

Michael felt something warm on his chest, he frowned when he felt something like hair on his face and his eyes snapped open only to see honey gold hair, what is happening? He thought, he tried to move but then notice the full length of a woman body so close to him, his body immediately reacted when he saw her exposed thigh, his body was burning like it was lit on fire, he swallowed as his eyes caressed the thigh, he wanted to do same with his hand and when he reached out his hand to do so, he froze, what is he doing? He looked at the woman in his arms, is she trying to seduce him? Thinking to that, anger boiled inside him.

He cupped his hand in a fist and tried to calm down the burning desire in him but he found it so difficult to do while looking at those exposed thighs, not knowing what else to do, he pushed her forcefully away from him, he watched her, wanting to know if she would wake up but when she didn't, he became surprised, how can she not wake up with the amount of force he used now? And then he noticed her eyelids fluttering, his anger intensified and he shifted closer to her and pushed her out of the bed, he heard a thud sound and knew she had hit her head on the side drawer but when she still didn't get up, he got out of bed and left the room.

Sasha laid on the floor sobbing silently, her temple hurts but she couldn't reach her hand to massage it, she must keep playing to be asleep for she can't get herself to look at him now, she is afraid to see the monster in him. Just why is he treating her like this? Is it a crime she wanted to feel her husband's warmth on her? Is it a crime she wanted to sleep in his arms? Why does he have to hurt her every single time?

Her temple hurts, she is sure it's going to bruise if not leave a scar even but no amount of pain she feels on her temple could amount to the pain she feels in her heart. When she was sure he will not be coming back into the room, she got up from the floor and laid on the bed, she covered herself with the duvet and cried herself to sleep.

Waking up the next day, Sasha was not surprised to find herself alone in the room, she got up and dressed the bed and then she heard the sound of running water, Michael is still at home? She was surprised and then walked to the nightstand and picked up the tray with the untouched dinner before walking down stairs. Maybe she can fix a quick breakfast, she thought.

She made French toast and a glass of milk, she was arranging the dinning table when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps, she looked up to see Michael standing on the staircase looking at her. Michael noticed the purple blue color on her temple and his heart hurt, he remembered when he pushed her out of the bed, he had heard the sound but he didn't know it will bruise.

He felt the impulse of walking closer to her and putting her in his arms, to apologize and promise not to do so again when he heard "good morning, I made you breakfast, please eat it before leaving for work" he looked at her face to see a gentle smile playing on her lips and he swore that at that moment he had wanted to walk up to her and kiss her, to forget about his past hate and the pain she caused him which resulted to the way he has been treating her, he had wanted to forget everything and let them leave like a happy married couple but then a scene from his past played in his mind and all the warmth he felt just a moment ago vanished.

He walked down the stairs and left the house without a single look back. Sasha watched him go and a tear slipped out of her eyes, she is being as loving as she could okay, why can't he just pity her for a day? Just why did he choose to treat her this way? He had hurt her last night but she didn't use it against him, she had came down and made breakfast for him, trying to show him that last night didn't matter but still, he won't appreciate that? She sat on one of the chairs at the dinning as the tears kept rushing out of her face like a flood.

Michael got into his car, dropped his briefcase on the passenger's seat, his head resting on his seat and his eyes closed, he let out a deep breath slowly and his hands covered his face, he is trying, he is really trying to let go but that scene twelve years ago refuse to let him, he really want to be with her, to enjoy his marriage with her but ever since receiving that pain from her, he had built a wall, a thick wall to protect him from people, especially women.

That's why, he had lived the twenty eight years of his life without a single girlfriend, he found it had to trust women, and he had lived with his own theory, give them your heart and they will hurt you. So he tried not to give them his heart but his one mistake has refused to leave him, he had given his heart away but got hurt in the end, he had been angry, sad, lonely, and everyday he has to see her living happily and smiling. He had stalked her then, followed her everywhere she went, he planted people to watch her for him and they report to him everyday, she was always happy, while he was always sad and lonely.

All he had wanted was just to be in her arms, to place his head on her chest and have her hug him affectionately, he had loved her, oh God he had loved her, more than himself, more than his mother, more than his grandmother who was his ideal woman, but she had hurt him, she had hurt him more than anybody else, she made his life a leaving hell and he had isolated himself from people, he never trust anybody again, he did everything he want himself but while doing that, something else changed in him, he loved her so much that his love for her changed to hatred, he hated her and want nothing to do with her, he didn't want to see her again and so left the country for college.