Love Is So Sweet

Chapter 19 - Stages in a relationship

"So tell me about your new novel," Jennifer spoke while eating her meal.

"It's a romance novel between a girl that has a horrible past, and the man she meets who has a secret that he doesn't tell anyone. There are other characters I added in, to make the novel a bit more interesting, but I don't really understand much about romance to actually make it intriguing. Like I said all I know about it comes from books and T.V dramas."

"That sounds really nice, so how can I help you to make it better? What kinds of things do you wanna know about romance? Don't be shy ask me anything."

Lisa started thinking about what to ask Jennifer. 'I already have a good grasp of what lovey-dovey scenes are, so the next thing would be... Oh, I know.'

"Can you tell me how relationsh.i.p.s progress? I only ever see the dating part in some T.V dramas, or the after long years type relationship. I was wondering how they got to that stage."

Jennifer who was now done eating looked at Lisa while thinking for a bit. "Well, that's a pretty good question. Fortunately for you, I have an answer."

"In my opinion relationsh.i.p.s have levels, the first level is, of course, the Attraction and Romance level, or the so-called dating level. I've been at this level countless times."

Lisa was about to take notes but saw that she didn't bring her notebook with her, so instead took out her phone and started typing what Jennifer was saying.

"What's is it like being on that level?" Lisa asked as she speedily typed on her phone.

"Well, it's the so-called dreamlike level, the ones you see on T.V dramas usually show this level. During this time, the couple will try and show off as much as possible. On this level, you and your partner will be focusing on your similarities and ignoring flaws. You'll also be spending a lot of time together. At this level, you and your partner will want to stick together professing your love for one another most of the time. It is also on this level that in my experience the guy will try and avoid conflict as much as possible, as he tries to get under your pants."

"So basically the whole first level is the couple deluding themselves?" Lisa asked as she stopped typing on her phone and remembered that she could record the conversation instead.

"Well, in my experience yeah. The first level is shallow but at the same time exciting. I like this part since the guy usually tries to woo you with music, gifts, flowery words, and other romantic gestures. Now once you're done with the first level and been with the man for some time, you enter the second level, now this is usually the level where I end the relationship."

Jennifer raised her hand and ordered a drink before continuing with what she was saying.

"On this level reality sets in, and you begin to realize the flaws in your partner or behaviors you just don't like. It's not that you are no longer in love, but your partner doesn't seem as great as he was in level one. It's on this level you'll wonder if you are still in love. Since the relationship doesn't seem like as much of a fantasy as before."

"So it's a shift from the fairy tale vibe of the first level to cold-hearted reality."

"Yes that's pretty much it. Well anyway now onto the third level, this is the highest level I've ever reached. The third level is mostly a disappointment, at this level, you believe that arguments are bad, but you are angry at each other anyway. Some of the anger can be over trivial things such as small differences between you, but in my experience, it's always the guy that's in the wrong. I mean come on if he really likes to stay in this relationship why won't he try harder? Then there's the next level."

"Hold on, you said the third level is the highest you've gotten, then how do you know about other levels?" Lisa asked confused, it was already a bit confusing already but added that it became even more confusing.

"Oh, the next levels are the levels I've seen from other people, mostly my high school friends who are already married."

"...Well, alright then, please proceed."

"Ok, where was I? Oh, right, the fourth level, is the level of stability. The couple now has a history together, and they've been able to work through some differences. The fantasy of stage one is completely gone, but you have accepted this. Yes, you have differences and you sometimes fight, but you love your partner, feel connected to him, and you trust you can work through any future conflicts. At this level, some of my friends been wondering if they can have the same excitement they use to have in level one if they changed partners. Of course, they only think about it, but never do anything about it."

"So level four is basically like when your simply grinding levels in an RPG, you no longer feel excited since you've been doing it over and over again with the same mobs."

"I guess so... Now onto the last level. This is the level I think is the last stage, since I haven't seen any other stages after this, except for divorce I guess. So at the last level, it's basically a commitment. At this level, you have chosen to be with your partner, flaws and all. You no longer miss the romance stage because that would mean being with a new person and you don't want that. Basically, you just want to stop looking at the choices on the rack since you already found the top you like. That's basically all the levels of a relationship I know. Was that helpful?"

"Yeah, it's really helpful, but I don't think I'm going to use level four... In my novel, I think after level three the couple goes back to level one and then skips to level five. That way it would be a bit more exciting. Seeing as I'm writing fiction better to spice it up a bit. I'm really happy with the new material you thought me, Jennifer I think I can write a better first arc now. I hope you read my new work, I'll be posting it on the usual site two days from now."

"Of course I'll read it!" The two girls then started to talk for a bit more, before leaving the restaurant and heading back to the apartment building.

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