Loving With My Mind

The current Han Muzhen dragged a long one from his tobacco and sipped on his whiskey. He came out to the mansion's veranda to be alone.

...

He could still recall that adorable face who confessed to him on graduation day.

When they were in high school, a lot of girls, some were on the same year, some older, others younger would confess their feelings for him. Not a week had passed in high school that no one confessed to him. Some even dared to call him out during holidays.

However, Li Qiaolian was different. She will be caught staring everyday, but she never had the courage to tell him.

That was how he noticed, because she was different.

"Han Muzhen, I like you!"

On the day of their graduation, she finally said it.

"But...I guess this is goodbye." Her next words felt like he was stabbed on the c.h.e.s.t. It felt so deep as if he cannot breathe.

For the first time, Han Muzhen felt empty.

It was a confession like no other.

He was ready to accept this confession, but she walked away before he could say anything.

"Tough luck, huh?" Suddenly, his big brother's voice rang behind him.

Han Mufeng tapped his shoulders as he whispered, "You like her, don't you?"

Han Muzhen swiftly turned to face his brother. "How did you..."

Han Mufeng chuckled. "It's in your face, Brother. Also, I was not born yesterday." He looked at the retreating figure. "Too bad you won't be attending the same university."

Han Muzhen's eyes lit up. He was given an idea.

.

And so he changed his plans and enrolled in the same university as hers. Although it specializes on arts rather than business, its curriculum was acceptable. Besides, he would be hired in their family company wherever he obtained his diploma.

He was a fool in high school. He cannot let this chance pass one more time.

When they started college, it was difficult for him to see her, much so to approach her as their school buildings were located buildings apart in the campus. Even her dormitory is located farthest from his. It was like fate would do everything it can to pull them apart.

The semester is ending and he had not made known to her that he was enrolled in the same university. Did he sacrifice a better education for nothing?

At this time, he managed to take glimpses and glances, but with difficulty.

In order to pass by her school building, he would buy his school supplies at the farther shop. In order to pass by her dormitory, he would buy dinner from the unpopular ramen shop, which later on became popular because of girls and homos.e.x.u.a.ls alike who would dine in just to see him leave with his takeout.

He was losing hope when, at the last day of the semester, he saw her just outside the building he was in, a stack of papers in her arms.

He was afraid that she would just pass by so he hurried down the flight of stairs.

As he landed on the second floor, papers flew before him, as a lady fell on her b.u.t.t.o.c.k.s.

Finally, he had let her know that he had always been within reach. It was his birthday.

He waited at the building entrance until the darkness of the night engulfed the surroundings.

"Eh, Han Muzhen? You're still here?" Li Qiaolian was pleasantly surprised to see him.

"Hmmn. Would you like to have dinner?"

She blushed, then gently nodded. "Okay."

.

They dated for quite some time. Nobody talked about commitment until their senior year.

"Muzhen, where are you taking me?" Li Qiaolian walked blindfolded and was led on by her hand.

"Shh...Lian-lian, be patient. We're almost there." Han Muzhen's deep voice reassured her.

He stopped underneath an old tree and took off her blindfold.

Li Qiaolian looked around and saw fireflies roaming around a vast garden.

"Lian-lian, would you be my girlfriend?" He held up a gold bracelet with diamond embellishment.

She nodded teary-eyed and bolted to embrace him.

.

He had just began being official with her when his parents announced the dreadful news.

When the Li family came over for the meal, Li Qiaolian had the sweetest smile on her face when she saw him.

However, it became confusion, sadness and horror when she found out that he is going to be her brother-in-law. Her eyes were pleading him to tell her that everything was a joke, and that he was just messing with her.

Han Muzhen just lowered his head.

.

At the night after their graduation, he promised that he will do something about it, that he would be the one to marry her.

However, it was all in vain.

"Father, my brother cannot marry her! Li Qiaolian is my girlfriend!" he argued.

"Don't be unreasonable. Your brother had always given up on thing he had whenever you like them. We are not talking about toys here. It's your brother's wife! Neither of them are protesting, so why are you meddling with their affairs? The Li household had agreed. Stop this nonsense!"

.

A month after their graduation, he tried to elope with her.

"So, you could not persuade them after all..." Li Qiaolian looked disappointed.

"Lian-lian, I will not let you marry my brother. I love you!"

That night, he knew he took her v.i.r.g.i.n.i.t.y as blood spread all over the sheets.

The following day, Han Mufeng found them and took Li Qiaolian by force, taking men with him to restrain his brother.

"You know I always support you and give you everything you wanted...but Muzhen, you had gone too far this time."

"Brother! You know she's my girlfriend! How can you agree to this?! Brother!" Han Muzhen tried to argue but he was dragged away.

.

A week later, he looked helpless as she walked down the aisle towards his brother.

For some unknown reason, she began to be cold towards him and rejected any idea of running away from the wedding.

It was as if he was alone in this fight, and so he gave up.