52. Clay Spoon (6) Holiday Special Edition

1.

Yes what.

To be honest, the atmosphere was very depressing.

It’s too much to use a word that was popular at one time.

I think I was able to endure it to some extent until now. All of a sudden, when Min Ah-rin was in the bathroom, an outside intrusion occurred…….

I still can’t understand the behavior.

Well, if you can hear the sound of the shower, that’s okay. What are you going to do when you see someone pooping?

Fortunately, it seems that ‘it’ did a good job today.

Anyway, back again.

The two of us stood in front of the bathroom door feeling awkward.

No, I think I was the only one who felt awkward.

Because Min Arin was making a serious expression that I had never seen before.

I didn’t mean to create this kind of atmosphere.

When I think of the fact that I brought Min Ah-rin home, I might have had a desire to be comforted by someone inside of me.

I can’t comment on that part because it’s so subconscious, but anyway, this kind of atmosphere wasn’t what I wanted.

“Um…Would you like to sit down?”

“Huh? Ah…. Huh….”

So, I led Min Ah-rin to the mattress.

In our house, where there is only one chair, there is not enough space for anyone to sit.

But I thought it would be a bit like having customers sit on the bare floor.

“But… Can I sit here? Isn’t that… Where you sleep… Isn’t it…?”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t wear out just by sitting on it. It’s so soft that it feels like a sofa, doesn’t it?”

There is a wall right next to the mattress, so if you lean your back against it, you can create a sofa-like feeling.

Perhaps.

Actually, I think the mattress is quite soft, but I’m not sure about Min Ah-rin.

Honestly, I think Minah-Rin’s car I rode on Monday was softer.

From noble mtl dot com

“Hmm… You might be a bit uncomfortable. Your car is softer than my mattress, isn’t it?”

I said that with a smile.

A simple joke to lighten the mood…….

“Uh, yes… Uh… Is that so… Yes…”

Why did it break down again?

… ….

What should I do? Seriously.

2.

I don’t remember feeling anything like self-loathing.

Well, I don’t know if I’ve been like that at least once…….

No, if I don’t remember, that means I’ve never been like that.

Anyway, even when I was discriminated against because of my appearance, I was always confident, and I never did anything morally embarrassing.

Even though I am a person who lives with a lot of self-defeating feelings, at least I never felt disgusted with myself.

Until today.

Bottomless shame, regret for the thoughtless words.

With these emotions swirling around, even in warm weather, my body felt cold.

I felt that it was too cold even if I moved my arms even a little.

I just wanted to be stuck somewhere.

Me and Han Seung-gi are now sitting side by side on the mattress, leaning our backs against the wall, and covering our legs with a blanket.

Still, nothing has been exchanged between the two.

Of course I know that Han Seung-gi didn’t want this kind of atmosphere, but…….

Because it’s the first time it’s been so hard to keep my mouth shut.

Actually, I hadn’t felt this level of self-loathing before.

Of course, it was difficult, annoying, and full of shame, but it wasn’t to this extent.

By the way…….

When I sat on this mattress.

‘Min Ah-rin, cover this.’

‘A futon? Uh… I’m fine….’

‘That… It’s because I’m uncomfortable. I’m just covering it up.’

As I said that, Han Seung-gi turned his eyes toward my skirt and then turned his face away with an embarrassed expression.

Maybe…… I thought my prediction would be correct.

I don’t know what a woman’s skirt means so much.

I thought Han Seung-gi would feel ashamed because of my short skirt and exposed thighs.

But that was the problem.

Since Han Seung-gi showed such a reaction today without fail, this pitiful body began to throb on its own again, and started to get excited by itself.

Almost always sitting together.

She began to feel an inexplicable uplift at the fact that she was sitting in the same place covered with the same blanket as Han Seung-gi.

Yes. What can be admitted can be admitted.

A man with an appearance that most celebrities can’t help but change.

He’s on the subject of boasting his strange chastity. They make a fuss about whether the skirt is too short for me or if it touches my chest.

Looking at the outside, he grew up in a good family and was treated with respect, so he shows a pure, kind, and smart figure. I feel like that kind of person.

That such a person is actually a male high school student living in poverty alone in a dingy semi-basement house in a neighborhood with terrible security.

It can be admitted that such facts come as a kind of attraction to the opposite s*x.

Still.

I didn’t want to feel attracted to that kind of thing.

I didn’t want to be in a situation where I had made an irreversible mistake, and no matter how s*xual a high school girl was, I didn’t want to look at my friend that way.

Even to a friend I thought of as my best friend, not the opposite s*x.

Doing all sorts of deceptions to a child who is living a hard life.

At such a subject, seeing other people’s poverty and being attracted to it.

I tried to clear my head of mad disgust, but it didn’t work at all.

As soon as I try to think of something else, Han Seung-gi’s unique pure smile comes to my mind.

If you try to forget that smile, Han Seung-gi’s tear points come to mind with an unknown bewitching feeling.

When I try to forget all of that, the drama I watched on YouTube the other day comes to mind.

A drama in which a poor but kind man marries a rich girl.

I’m going crazy.

Why are you so impatient because you can’t see Han Seung-gi as a man?

You thought we were just friends.

Besides, you don’t even think about my fault anymore?

Han Seung-gi reacted naturally to the words I threw out without thinking.

How did you feel when you laughed and passed over the rich man and her daughter-in-law talking about money?

I don’t feel any kind of proper love.

I’m more annoyed because they say that I’m attracted to ignorance.

I wanted to know what I was doing.

I feel so bad.

I feel this kind of feeling whenever I hear news about a drunk driving accident.

I just feel like a criminal. To be honest, I don’t think I have anything to say even if I’m called a criminal.

What have I done to such a nice boy?

Why did you send a picture taken at a restaurant to a child who is living a hard life?

With that thought in mind, I began to move my fingers, which had been fidgeting ever since, more vigorously.

I couldn’t move my body, but I could control my fingers at least.

I was fiddling with one of the pieces of fabric in the duvet with it.

What I was fiddling with was neither a mattress nor a blanket, but an unknown piece of cloth, and since I was touching it, I was able to control my mind at least a little.

Of course, really

I only managed a little bit.

Still full of chaos.

Anyway, that’s how my hand movements got stronger.

At that moment, Han Seung-gi started talking to me.

“Min Ah-rin. What have you been touching?”

“Uh, ah, huh?”

“You keep wiggling your fingers. I thought there was something.”

“Uh… I just thought I was going to get a piece of cloth… I was doing it without thinking….”

“A piece of cloth?”

“Yes. This.”

I don’t think it was a very good choice.

Not with that piece of cloth.

It means that I shouldn’t have held something with my fingers in the first place.

“Uh… Why is that there…”

The one that got caught on my finger.

A pair of trunk shorts worn by women who want a spacious feel.

Why would a man wear this…….

“Sweet!”

I missed it with a strange noise.

No.

No real.

Why are you doing this to me?

I was on the verge of going crazy.

No.

Really.

“Uh… I’m sorry. I thought I cleaned this up…”

In my panic, my conscience had to be pricked once more.

Why are you apologizing?

I was the one who came to your house suddenly, and I was the one who messed with the men’s underwear there.

Even in the midst of that, I felt so resentful that my body, which was excited by the fact that I touched a man’s underwear.

Please stop. It’s kind of boring now.

No, underwear that has been washed is nothing more or less than a piece of cloth.

What are you saying is good?

“No… I just put it out there to suck it up. Why are you here?”

“Huh?”

“Ah… Min Ah-rin, would you like to wash your hands?

“This morning…?”

“Uh…”

I felt my head go blank in the awkward atmosphere.

“That, I will…”

Without thinking, I got up and headed to the bathroom.

The most terrifying thing.

Unbeknownst to me.

Unconsciously.

He brought his fidgety finger to his nose.

That he smelled it in that state.

What happened after that?

Of course self-loathing came over me.

To the extent that it can’t even be compared to before.

I went into the bathroom and hit my head in cold water.

It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this level of maddening guilt.

Instinct that touches a man’s underwear and brings it to his nose.

A weak s*xual desire felt in a heart full of shame.

I didn’t like everything.

Now I don’t even know.

I don’t think I can stay sane.

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