Mayo Chiki!

Volume 1

Chapter 1 Part 2

“Huh—“

I was careless.

It was after school, one week after the entrance ceremony.

I opened the door of the bathroom stall without knocking, but there was already someone inside.

There was a small, finely made, delicate doll-like body. With an extravagant uniform that was different from the ones of the ordinary students. The person’s hair was tied back in a braid- a clean cut like the ones on an antique doll.

The vision of that art work was familiar, but unpleasant.

“……Konoe Subaru?”

And instantly, I called out that name.

This is bad.

What’s with this situation?

He probably forgot to lock the door. Konoe rinsed his mouth and widened his eyes while looking at me who had suddenly opened the door.

Aaah, but it was good that I didn’t scream. Even if this was after school, there may still be people lurking in the corridors. If you were seen by other people in this situation, no matter how much you tried to explain or apologize, it wouldn’t matter.

Furthermore, the person who was there was ‘that’ Subaru-sama.

It was rumored that within Rouran Academy, there were some fan clubs for him, and at the very center of them were some militants who angrily proclaimed that anyone who raised a hand at Subaru-sama –it didn’t matter who it was– would be submerged into Tokyo Bay.

If this scene was seen as one of those, it would be a death sentence for me immediately. There’s no doubt that it would be like in the medieval ages, when they burned witches.

If you think about it, the situation is still okay. I just have to apologize. ‘Hahaha, sorry about that. I carelessly opened the door. I didn’t have any bad intentions’…. like this, I would lightly say that and make my way out.

Okay, here we go.

Breaking the silence, I moved the hands of the clock that had stopped.

“Ah, haha, I’m really sorry. I just carelessly opened the door…”

Because of my high tension, it didn’t go well. When I awkwardly looked closer, my line of sight slid towards his bare thighs.

Err—even being a man, he had a good tone of skin. A porcelain-like white skin. He may have been just about to lower his underwear. And what’s more, my eyes became glued to that white modeled beauty.

—and.

“….unn?”

That moment, I thought I saw something that I couldn’t have.

………..

Wait a moment.

Isn’t he wearing some strange underwear?

How can I say this……. the form was strangely conclusive.

It looks like a pair of girl’s panties.

“————“

I thought that and…

I awkwardly closed the door.

Fortunately, Konoe didn’t express a reaction either. I guess he was still astonished. Yeah, I know how you feel. The scene I had just witnessed was a shock to me as well.

Right after leaving the boy’s stall, I washed my hands at a nearby sink. Since I didn’t use it, there was no need to wash them, but I couldn’t spare even one milligram of my mind to think about this.

A cat.

There was a cute cat stamped on it.

A lovely cat was slightly imprinted on that underwear. Or rather, the point was, no matter how you looked……

But…

“No, calm down.”

There’s no way.

I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes. If what happened just now wasn’t an illusion, then the prescription of my glasses got weird. But could the prescription of glasses turn strange all of a sudden?

In the first place, why did I come to the bathroom?

Yeah, it’s all because of the kimchi(1) I ate for breakfast. Damn Kureha, carelessly letting the food surpass its expiration date. The morning show on TV said something about my lucky color being red today or something, but there’s no way I could believe something like that…. huh, it doesn’t matter now.

Question.

Yes—the question is…

“Why—was Konoe wearing female underwear?”

I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth.

Because we’re talking about that Konoe.

That Konoe, you know?

Certainly, he was a guy, but he looks like a girl—or rather, he had a face which was much cuter than those of many of the girls here, but he didn’t have any reason to put on that underwear. But still. Could it be that a blood curse ran through his family, in which you had no choice but to wear a girl’s panties?

“….Impossible. There’s no way.”

Then, what was that?

My brain was spinning like a washing machine in the drying process.

Subaru-sama, toilet, panties, cat, nyaa~, nyaa~, nyaa~……

Thinking about it. Some keywords appeared in my head—Suddenly, a revelation fell down into my brain by God’s will.

“………….!”

Without thinking, *pon* I hit my hand.

….Aaah, got it.

If you stop and think about it, it’s a simple thing. Ahaha, how idiotic I am. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? There was only one answer. It’s a very simple answer, isn’t it?

—A pervert.

Yeah, Konoe Subaru is a pervert who has a cross-dressing hobby.

“………….”

No, wait, Sakamachi Kinjirou. Think about it one more time. Because this is Subaru-sama. He’s completely different from a normal guy.

“But still…”

Certainly, I can’t see it any other way.

Surely, the reason Konoe wore a girl’s underwear is that he wanted to playfully feel sexual pleasure. If that wasn’t it, then why else would he wear those panties?

“…..What an event. I can’t believe that Subaru-sama is a pervert.”

My head went blank and white due to the surprising truth.

No matter what I do, if this truth isn’t kept under wraps, I will be in danger. If, due to any reason this information leaks out, a lot of female students will lose their hopes and go crazy, and in the worst case, our homeroom teacher, feeling responsible, will cut his head off.

And what’s more, I don’t have any intentions of mocking other people’s hobbies. I respect their privacy. Everyone has secrets. Yeah…. I’m not an exception either.

I twisted the faucet, and the water stopped.

I’m going home.

Because of the great surprise, my bellyache that had caused by the rotten kimchi went flying away.

Today I’ll quietly go home, have dinner, take a bath and go to sleep…… I’ll forget the things I need to forget.

This is what I decided by myself, but when I tried to turn towards the corridor—

“—You saw it, didn’t you?”

For a boy, his voice was a slightly high-pitched alto.

The setting sun was dyeing that empty corridor.

There was a petite figure standing inside of that brilliant orange.

“Jirou….Sakamachi Kinjirou. Hmm, I’m certain that this is your name.”

Like the ring of a bell, the clear voice of that doll—Konoe Subaru called my name.

With an angry expression and a surly attitude.

That was the usual Konoe.

At least, this is how we normal classmates know him. Konoe is cold with everyone except his master Suzutsuki. It seems like he’s trying to pull away from everyone besides his master, and so his voice and gaze were quite intimidating. Looking at this figure, the girls of my class started muttering something about [cool and wonderful]. Right now I couldn’t say that, not with this expression.

…..I’ll get killed.

If I stay like this, I’ll really get killed.

I don’t know why, but a mysterious feeling of uneasiness filled my head.

“If you pretend to stay silent, I’ll ask you one more time.”

Silence was the reason of the annoyance? Konoe moved his small, petal-like lips.

“You—saw my panties, didn’t you?”

*Dossha*, I felt as if my heart had been thrown into the cold waters of the rowdy Japanese seas.

What is this….. it’s just too scary. The things he’s saying are just too scary. Ugh, and what about my lucky color being red? Almost everything that fortune-teller said was wrong…..

“Hu…huh? What are you talking about? I….I, I haven’t seen anything.”

I answered, acting like an idiot. I mean, ‘Yeah, I clearly saw everything, I didn’t expect you to wear such cute underwear’. Should I have said that? It’s impossible. It’s almost like trying to do a break dance in a minefield.

“Huh. You saw it so clearly, and now you’re trying to say that you haven’t seen anything?”

A hostile tone as always.

Very good. Since it has come to this, I’ll cut through it. You won’t seal my mouth by using torture methods of the same level as East German ones. I’ll show you my rebellious spirit……..!

“Be honest, you saw it, right? Your eyes clearly saw it, right? You wanted to see my underwear and opened that door, right?”

“There’s no way! Who would want to see your underwear!? I’m already an adult, after all! That animal stamp underwear didn’t get me excited at all!”

“……My bad, for using animal stamp underwear. By the way, how did you know the pattern of my underwear? Didn’t you say that you didn’t see it?”

“……………….”

Shit! That was a misleading question!

“Ca—calm down! It was just a sudden impulse!”

“Damn pervert. You no longer have human rights.”

“Don’t joke! I didn’t peek at your panties because I wanted to!”

“Huh. Then, you are saying that what happened just now was an accident?”

“Of course! I only stared without thinking because you were wearing cute underwear.”

“It’s enough. I understand. I understand what kind of human you are.”

Konoe cruelly stared this way. Gulp, what kind of look is that? Her cold eyes were like the ones with which one uses to look at a worthless sexual offender. Damn, what did I do to him?

“Damn! Until now, you’ve just said whatever you wanted. If I’m a pervert, then you are a truly worthless pervert! You’re the one wearing girl’s panti—”

And.

After saying that, I became silent.

More accurately, I was silenced.

Without any warning, Konoe’s right fist flew in my direction, stealing the words from my mouth.

“Guaah—!?”

A piercing body blow. The blow accurately hit a vital point, making my body twist like the symbol ‘ku’(2) from the shock.

This is bad—!

It will come out.

Because of this, all I’ve eaten today will come out. Right I went up a grade, I was going to be releasing wet and warm vomit in the corridor. Life must be trying to punish me. I can’t make such a vivid and pathetic debut in the new semester!

At the last moment, I forced back the demons who had crawled up my throat, and I barely managed to fix my breathing.

“… I am surprised. Just now, you should have at least fainted, or at best, at least vomited blood. You did well enduring this blow.”

“………”

Hey, dammit. Don’t hit your classmates so suddenly.

Now that I think about it, I heard that Konoe, being a butler, was learning self-defense to protect his master. Certainly, just now my vital point had been perfectly hit.

But, unfortunately.

If it’s this degree of damage, because of family matters, I have been hit ever since I was five years old. I don’t know if I have the right to say it, but I have a tough body that can endure these blows.

“It can’t be helped. Then, I’ll get serious now.”

“Ehh?”

“By the way, the hit you received just now had about half of my full power.”

“……..Are you the protagonist of some battle manga? By the way, why do I have to be beaten up?”

“Huh. It has already been decided. You discovered my secret. And now that you know, you have to disappear.”

“Wha—”

What’s with this? I’ll die? I have to die just because I saw his panties?

“You don’t have anything to fear. What I am erasing is not your life but your memories. In my household, we have an amnesia surgery technique that has been passed down through the generations.”

“Aaah, what’s up with that… you are scaring me. So, what kind of technique is it?”

“Hitting.”

“Huh—”

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m going to hit you. I’m going to hit you until your memories fly out of your head. This is the butler’s true amnesia surgery technique.”

“I will die. My life will be erased. Or rather, this method has nothing to do with butlers!”

“No need to worry. It will be over soon. When you wake up, you will be in a hospital bed. Then you will start murmuring things like, ‘Where am I? Who am I?’. Come on, everything will go well.”

“It won’t go well! This is crippling! Or rather, I will become crippled! You will reset the sixteen years of my precious memories!”

“Don’t worry, I will go see you two times a month. Empty-handed.”

“Bring something! Is this the concern that you have for the human that you crippled?”

“Muu, it can’t be helped. Then I will bring an ecchi book. What do you want? Mature women?”

“You’re strongly misunderstanding my tastes…..!”

“….What did you say? Don’t tell me it’s more extreme than this? Mu—…… I didn’t know there was such a brave man among my classmates. Okay, I will spread your legend. Now, calm down and sleep, Silver Killer.”

“I got a such shameful nicknameeee—!!”

*Rattling*

I think I heard the sound of the image I had of Konoe Subaru breaking into pieces.

This is dangerous. Do something. That damn guy has a cute face, but there is something wrong with his head. Aah, what should I do? No matter how many times I say that I will keep quiet about his secret, the Konoe in front of me will probably not believe me. However, I also don’t want to get beaten up.

“Damn, there’s no other way.”

I slowly stretched my spine and got up.

I guessed that the mood had become strange, and then Konoe took a short breath that sounded like “muu”.

“Why? Why are you trying to resist?”

“Aah, unfortunately, I hate pain. That’s why I will do what I can.”

“Huh—Looks like you’re prepared. I don’t hate that, Silver Killer.”

“…Wha—. I beg of you, please stop calling me by that nickname.”

Then, Konoe held up his fists and took a step back from me.

Bring it on.

It felt as if he was saying that to me.

I felt a chill running through my skin.

To answer that highly motivated Butler-kun, I slowly took a step.

And—I slowly stepped back.

“Wha—”

At that moment, I could hear the sound of someone swallowing his breath from the surprise.

But it was too late.

And then, I changed the direction of my body and starting running as fast as I can.

Escaping.

I’m escaping.

I may look like this, but I have some confidence in my legs when used for running.

“You! You’re trying to run away?!”

Konoe’s voice was heard from behind. As expected, he was impatient.

“Sorry! But I hate pain!”

I ran through the school corridors while crying out loudly.

*thump*thump*thump*

I don’t think he’ll catch up to me, but I will run for as long as I can. For now, I will run to a place that his hands can’t reach. After that, I will think calmly.

“I won’t let you run away!”

He really followed me. The sound and pressure of footsteps got closer. It felt like I was in a resistance group during the Second World War. I felt a feeling of suspense attack me.

“Fight like a man! If you do, I will show you the mercy of a butler and finish it in one blow.”

“What mercy?! Or rather, I don’t want to hear about fighting like a man from a guy who looks like a girl.”

“Y, you said it! You really said what you shouldn’t have! Don’t move from there! In precisely two seconds, I will cut you into pieces, Silver Killer!”

“How many times do I have to tell you, don’t call me by that nickname!”

I felt an intimidating chill running through my spine. He’s fast. *Grrr* I think that I heard a sound similar to a rumble just now.

This is the second floor. I have to find a way to run to the first floor, but using the stairs is bad. He will probably hit me with a jump kick. Then…..!

I passed through the stairs and jumped into the classroom next to them. The smell of chemicals reached my nose. Yeah, this is the science room. It’s not like the science room will help with anything, but it’s enough for me to hide in.

*Pllaaaakkk*I closed the door and locked it. Okay, now I will just block the door so that it doesn’t open and go down through the window. Oh, perfect, the human body model is here (if I’m not mistaken, his name is Johnny). Lucky—, with this, I will seal the do—

 
*Kaboom*

 
The moment I tried to seal the door with the model, a crushing sound echoed throughout the science room.

I had an ominous feeling and turned my eyes towards the direction of the sound, and there was the shape of the door flying away.

Konoe had kicked the door down.

“Uooo?!”

I dodged the flying door. Making a clanging sound, the internal organs of the model crashed against the wall. Uaahh—, the large intestines and the liver are broken. It became a big disaster.

“I’m cornered.”

The butler came into the room, stepping over the broken peach-colored small intestines. How did this situation get so surreal?

Shit, if it has turned out this way, then I don’t have any other options. I was a little reluctant to use violence on a guy with such a cute face, but Konoe is also a man. If he is a man, I don’t have any reasons for holding back.

I grabbed the model by the leg and raised it. Okay, this is a batting center. My target is a home run. I won’t win any prizes, but I will be able to run all I want!

“Haaaa!!!”

I swung the body with my full power. If you looked in from outside, the scene would cause you to doubt my sanity, but for now, I had no other option. The model’s head cut through the air, aiming to hit Konoe.

“Don’t underestimate me!”

*Strong blow*.

Konoe hit a right, straight over the model’s neck.

The head flew like a cannon ball right through the open window.

“Ua, Uaaaahh!!” “Gyaaaa, a heaaad!!” Screams from a boy and a girl could be heard from below. Apparently, it fell right in front of a student couple that was going home. It surely turned into an Avicii-like(3) scene, but that doesn’t matter right now.

……What should I do?

There’s no longer anything to do.

It’s better to reach a resolution now.

I thought about it inside my mind, then took up a posture with my fists. I guarded with both my hands protecting my head. From my experience, this was the style that suited me the most. Yeah, I‘m not a complete amateur.

“Looks like you’re finally prepared for it.”

In response, Konoe also put up a fighting pose.

I gave him a piercing gaze.

And then—as if to let out a war declaration, those lips let out a sentence.

“Now I will finish you for real, with my [Butler Knuckle].”

“………”

Wha—, cut it out. What is this [Butler Knuckle]? Just what it says, huh? I thought it was a new type of curve ball.

“I don’t give a shit, but you don’t have any naming sense, huh?”

“Wha….what are you saying?! Isn’t this name cool?! Look, [Butler Knuckle]!!”

“No, it’s terrible. [Butler Knuckle].”

I only told my honest impressions. His face turned red and he groaned ‘uuh’.

……Don’t tell me, he’s embarrassed?

“Kuu… it’s the first time in my life that I have been shamed like this. I won’t forgive you anymore. I will let you see my mortal technique.”

“Mortal technique?”

“Yeah, I call it [End of Earth].”

“That scale is just too big.”

Destroying the Earth… if you do it, you will die too!!

“Seriously, there must be something wrong with your naming sense.”

“Shu—shut up, don’t criticize my naming sense!”

“………Sorry. This time I’m in the wrong. You thought about it with all your might…”

“Wha—what’s with that ‘I already understand’ face! Don’t look at me like I have a pitiful appearance!?”

“Shit… I thought I was doing something cool. Even though I thought about it for a week. Well, then…” Konoe said in a low tone, slightly moving his lips like a little kid.

“…………”

This is dangerous.

He looks….very cute.

The gap between his normally astonished look and now was so large that… Guuh. Stop it. Stop it. If I keep thinking about it, I will climb the stairs of being an adult. Certainly, on a different route from normal people. This is the one thing that I must avoid……!

I tried to regain my senses while I steadied my breath.

Now that I think about it, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a fight like this.

When I think like this, *tumdum* my heart beats hard.

“————”

The tension permeated the science classroom.

I could clearly hear my breath. The core of my body became cold.

The air strained.

In the middle of it, I’m attempting to make the first move.

 
I realized it.

 
The beaker on the shelf next to Konoe.

Maybe because of the fight from before, it lost its balance. And the big glass beaker that was on it could fall at any moment.

It looks like Konoe didn’t realize it. I think his angle didn’t allow him to see it. The beaker started to incline, and as if a string had been cut, it began to free fall.

“Dodge it!”

My body moved reflexively. Konoe became astonished by the sudden loud shout that was raised from my mouth.

Shit, he didn’t realize it yet.

—Exactly.

If it continues this way, the glass beaker will fall on his head.

“Shit!”

I beg you. I hope I can reach it in time.

Praying so, I pushed Konoe down with my full power.

*Shock*

The sound of glass being shattered was heard.

Behind us were the glass shards of the broken beaker.

That was dangerous. It had only missed us by a hair’s breadth.

When the danger had passed, I started feeling relieved, but—

“Uuu…”

I heard a pained voice from below.

Konoe, who was pushed down by me, was groaning. I thought that he was hurt somewhere, but then I gazed down at Konoe……

That moment, my heart froze.

Konoe, who was below me.

A slender body like a doll’s. Defined curves. Eyes like jade.

….This is dangerous, what is this cute creature?

A pleasant aroma was gently reaching my nose. Even if he is a guy, he smells so good, and he’s so soft. I touched something soft when I moved my hand……

“Huh…?”

Wait a minute.

No matter what, isn’t this feeling impossible for a man? *funyu**funyu* I tried to move my finger that was on his left chest.

“………………”

This is strange.

This is very, very strange.

Why does he—being a man, have breasts!?

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

He screamed like a girl.

At the same time, a fist was swung into my face from below.

“Guhaa!!”

Konoe’s uppercut reached my chin. I was blown away while raising a groaning voice. Fortunately or not, my body was blown away from the broken beaker pieces.

“It hurts!!”

While bearing the pain from the hard hit, I touched my beaten chin and a wet feeling was left on my palm.

……Wet?

When I wondered and looked, ‘my hand was dyed red’.

Blood.

To be precise, a nosebleed.

*Drip**drip* Fresh blood was dripping from my nose.

This is strange; I should have been hit on the chin… Then why am I having a bright red nosebleed?

“Wha—Impossible… why?”

Why?

‘Even if I didn’t touch a girl, why is my nose bleeding?’

“Y, you touched it…”

A trembling voice was heard. When I moved my eyes from my bloody hand, I saw the figure of Konoe hugging his arms around his chest, trembling with his face dyed red. Now that I look, his eyes are wet.

“Do, don’t tell me, that Konoe-san…”

My voice was trembling.

This is true. My opponent is Subaru-sama. In the opinions of all the girls, he was the most admired guy. Yet, even so.

“You…… you’re a girl?”

Beethoven’s concert was playing in my brain. The song was [Fate](4). The one that kind of goes like ‘tchan-dyan-dyan’.

Girl.

Konoe Subaru was a girl.

No, why does a cute girl like her come to the academy dressed like a boy?

This is surely a surprise. Now I get it. In two more seconds she will say, ‘Ahaha, baka, baka! To believe in such a joke!’, trying to trick people with strange methods. Haha, I hope it will happen. Please, I beg of you.

“—I will kill you.”

At that moment, I almost screamed.

*Chill*

An unspeakable chill ran through my spine.

Konoe was standing right in front of me.

In Konoe Subaru’s hands was a bright red fire extinguisher.

“Wha… Fire extinguisheeeeeeeeer!?”

There’s no doubt. That is a fire extinguisher; even a child in kindergarten would know that. He probably took the one in the science room. He made a pose with the metallic red object gripped in his hand.

“Wa—wait a minute Konoe-san. If you hit me with that, I have the feeling that my memory won’t be the only thing that will be blown away……”

“Aah, I understand. A pervert like you wasn’t ever supposed to be in this world……”

“Tha—that was an accident!! That was without a doubt an accident!!”

“An accident, huh. You touched……you say that even when you have touched my breasts and had a nosebleed……!”

“Uuurrr,” Konoe wistfully groaned.

“You’ve got it wrong! It’s not because I got excited that I had a nosebleed! This is because my body ha—”

“Excuses are useless. Don’t worry, I will hide your corpse inside the wall, and in the future I will be the teacher here. Then I will be able to keep an eye on your body, so that no one will ever find it.”

Keh. Holy shit. He is perfectly aiming for a crime. Rather, this is bad. I can’t stand up because of the fear. Uaaaaaaaaaaaah, move! Please move, I beg of you, body, please move!!

“Then, this is the end. Die while cringing in despair.”

I received a death sentence.

According to the horoscope, my lucky color is red.

Aah, from now on, I won’t watch that program anymore.

The bright red fire extinguisher was reflected in my eyes.

Right at the moment that it hit the side of my head, I thought that.

♀x♂

TRANSLATOR NOTES

(1) Kimchi is a traditional Korean dish made from spicy fermented cabbage.
(2) く
(3) The lowest level of hell in Buddhism.
(4) Beethoven’s 5th symphony.

Volume 1

Chapter 1 Part 2

“Huh—“

I was careless.

It was after school, one week after the entrance ceremony.

I opened the door of the bathroom stall without knocking, but there was already someone inside.

There was a small, finely made, delicate doll-like body. With an extravagant uniform that was different from the ones of the ordinary students. The person’s hair was tied back in a braid- a clean cut like the ones on an antique doll.

The vision of that art work was familiar, but unpleasant.

“……Konoe Subaru?”

And instantly, I called out that name.

This is bad.

What’s with this situation?

He probably forgot to lock the door. Konoe rinsed his mouth and widened his eyes while looking at me who had suddenly opened the door.

Aaah, but it was good that I didn’t scream. Even if this was after school, there may still be people lurking in the corridors. If you were seen by other people in this situation, no matter how much you tried to explain or apologize, it wouldn’t matter.

Furthermore, the person who was there was ‘that’ Subaru-sama.

It was rumored that within Rouran Academy, there were some fan clubs for him, and at the very center of them were some militants who angrily proclaimed that anyone who raised a hand at Subaru-sama –it didn’t matter who it was– would be submerged into Tokyo Bay.

If this scene was seen as one of those, it would be a death sentence for me immediately. There’s no doubt that it would be like in the medieval ages, when they burned witches.

If you think about it, the situation is still okay. I just have to apologize. ‘Hahaha, sorry about that. I carelessly opened the door. I didn’t have any bad intentions’…. like this, I would lightly say that and make my way out.

Okay, here we go.

Breaking the silence, I moved the hands of the clock that had stopped.

“Ah, haha, I’m really sorry. I just carelessly opened the door…”

Because of my high tension, it didn’t go well. When I awkwardly looked closer, my line of sight slid towards his bare thighs.

Err—even being a man, he had a good tone of skin. A porcelain-like white skin. He may have been just about to lower his underwear. And what’s more, my eyes became glued to that white modeled beauty.

—and.

“….unn?”

That moment, I thought I saw something that I couldn’t have.

………..

Wait a moment.

Isn’t he wearing some strange underwear?

How can I say this……. the form was strangely conclusive.

It looks like a pair of girl’s panties.

“————“

I thought that and…

I awkwardly closed the door.

Fortunately, Konoe didn’t express a reaction either. I guess he was still astonished. Yeah, I know how you feel. The scene I had just witnessed was a shock to me as well.

Right after leaving the boy’s stall, I washed my hands at a nearby sink. Since I didn’t use it, there was no need to wash them, but I couldn’t spare even one milligram of my mind to think about this.

A cat.

There was a cute cat stamped on it.

A lovely cat was slightly imprinted on that underwear. Or rather, the point was, no matter how you looked……

But…

“No, calm down.”

There’s no way.

I took off my glasses and wiped my eyes. If what happened just now wasn’t an illusion, then the prescription of my glasses got weird. But could the prescription of glasses turn strange all of a sudden?

In the first place, why did I come to the bathroom?

Yeah, it’s all because of the kimchi(1) I ate for breakfast. Damn Kureha, carelessly letting the food surpass its expiration date. The morning show on TV said something about my lucky color being red today or something, but there’s no way I could believe something like that…. huh, it doesn’t matter now.

Question.

Yes—the question is…

“Why—was Konoe wearing female underwear?”

I couldn’t believe the words that came out of my mouth.

Because we’re talking about that Konoe.

That Konoe, you know?

Certainly, he was a guy, but he looks like a girl—or rather, he had a face which was much cuter than those of many of the girls here, but he didn’t have any reason to put on that underwear. But still. Could it be that a blood curse ran through his family, in which you had no choice but to wear a girl’s panties?

“….Impossible. There’s no way.”

Then, what was that?

My brain was spinning like a washing machine in the drying process.

Subaru-sama, toilet, panties, cat, nyaa~, nyaa~, nyaa~……

Thinking about it. Some keywords appeared in my head—Suddenly, a revelation fell down into my brain by God’s will.

“………….!”

Without thinking, *pon* I hit my hand.

….Aaah, got it.

If you stop and think about it, it’s a simple thing. Ahaha, how idiotic I am. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? There was only one answer. It’s a very simple answer, isn’t it?

—A pervert.

Yeah, Konoe Subaru is a pervert who has a cross-dressing hobby.

“………….”

No, wait, Sakamachi Kinjirou. Think about it one more time. Because this is Subaru-sama. He’s completely different from a normal guy.

“But still…”

Certainly, I can’t see it any other way.

Surely, the reason Konoe wore a girl’s underwear is that he wanted to playfully feel sexual pleasure. If that wasn’t it, then why else would he wear those panties?

“…..What an event. I can’t believe that Subaru-sama is a pervert.”

My head went blank and white due to the surprising truth.

No matter what I do, if this truth isn’t kept under wraps, I will be in danger. If, due to any reason this information leaks out, a lot of female students will lose their hopes and go crazy, and in the worst case, our homeroom teacher, feeling responsible, will cut his head off.

And what’s more, I don’t have any intentions of mocking other people’s hobbies. I respect their privacy. Everyone has secrets. Yeah…. I’m not an exception either.

I twisted the faucet, and the water stopped.

I’m going home.

Because of the great surprise, my bellyache that had caused by the rotten kimchi went flying away.

Today I’ll quietly go home, have dinner, take a bath and go to sleep…… I’ll forget the things I need to forget.

This is what I decided by myself, but when I tried to turn towards the corridor—

“—You saw it, didn’t you?”

For a boy, his voice was a slightly high-pitched alto.

The setting sun was dyeing that empty corridor.

There was a petite figure standing inside of that brilliant orange.

“Jirou….Sakamachi Kinjirou. Hmm, I’m certain that this is your name.”

Like the ring of a bell, the clear voice of that doll—Konoe Subaru called my name.

With an angry expression and a surly attitude.

That was the usual Konoe.

At least, this is how we normal classmates know him. Konoe is cold with everyone except his master Suzutsuki. It seems like he’s trying to pull away from everyone besides his master, and so his voice and gaze were quite intimidating. Looking at this figure, the girls of my class started muttering something about [cool and wonderful]. Right now I couldn’t say that, not with this expression.

…..I’ll get killed.

If I stay like this, I’ll really get killed.

I don’t know why, but a mysterious feeling of uneasiness filled my head.

“If you pretend to stay silent, I’ll ask you one more time.”

Silence was the reason of the annoyance? Konoe moved his small, petal-like lips.

“You—saw my panties, didn’t you?”

*Dossha*, I felt as if my heart had been thrown into the cold waters of the rowdy Japanese seas.

What is this….. it’s just too scary. The things he’s saying are just too scary. Ugh, and what about my lucky color being red? Almost everything that fortune-teller said was wrong…..

“Hu…huh? What are you talking about? I….I, I haven’t seen anything.”

I answered, acting like an idiot. I mean, ‘Yeah, I clearly saw everything, I didn’t expect you to wear such cute underwear’. Should I have said that? It’s impossible. It’s almost like trying to do a break dance in a minefield.

“Huh. You saw it so clearly, and now you’re trying to say that you haven’t seen anything?”

A hostile tone as always.

Very good. Since it has come to this, I’ll cut through it. You won’t seal my mouth by using torture methods of the same level as East German ones. I’ll show you my rebellious spirit……..!

“Be honest, you saw it, right? Your eyes clearly saw it, right? You wanted to see my underwear and opened that door, right?”

“There’s no way! Who would want to see your underwear!? I’m already an adult, after all! That animal stamp underwear didn’t get me excited at all!”

“……My bad, for using animal stamp underwear. By the way, how did you know the pattern of my underwear? Didn’t you say that you didn’t see it?”

“……………….”

Shit! That was a misleading question!

“Ca—calm down! It was just a sudden impulse!”

“Damn pervert. You no longer have human rights.”

“Don’t joke! I didn’t peek at your panties because I wanted to!”

“Huh. Then, you are saying that what happened just now was an accident?”

“Of course! I only stared without thinking because you were wearing cute underwear.”

“It’s enough. I understand. I understand what kind of human you are.”

Konoe cruelly stared this way. Gulp, what kind of look is that? Her cold eyes were like the ones with which one uses to look at a worthless sexual offender. Damn, what did I do to him?

“Damn! Until now, you’ve just said whatever you wanted. If I’m a pervert, then you are a truly worthless pervert! You’re the one wearing girl’s panti—”

And.

After saying that, I became silent.

More accurately, I was silenced.

Without any warning, Konoe’s right fist flew in my direction, stealing the words from my mouth.

“Guaah—!?”

A piercing body blow. The blow accurately hit a vital point, making my body twist like the symbol ‘ku’(2) from the shock.

This is bad—!

It will come out.

Because of this, all I’ve eaten today will come out. Right I went up a grade, I was going to be releasing wet and warm vomit in the corridor. Life must be trying to punish me. I can’t make such a vivid and pathetic debut in the new semester!

At the last moment, I forced back the demons who had crawled up my throat, and I barely managed to fix my breathing.

“… I am surprised. Just now, you should have at least fainted, or at best, at least vomited blood. You did well enduring this blow.”

“………”

Hey, dammit. Don’t hit your classmates so suddenly.

Now that I think about it, I heard that Konoe, being a butler, was learning self-defense to protect his master. Certainly, just now my vital point had been perfectly hit.

But, unfortunately.

If it’s this degree of damage, because of family matters, I have been hit ever since I was five years old. I don’t know if I have the right to say it, but I have a tough body that can endure these blows.

“It can’t be helped. Then, I’ll get serious now.”

“Ehh?”

“By the way, the hit you received just now had about half of my full power.”

“……..Are you the protagonist of some battle manga? By the way, why do I have to be beaten up?”

“Huh. It has already been decided. You discovered my secret. And now that you know, you have to disappear.”

“Wha—”

What’s with this? I’ll die? I have to die just because I saw his panties?

“You don’t have anything to fear. What I am erasing is not your life but your memories. In my household, we have an amnesia surgery technique that has been passed down through the generations.”

“Aaah, what’s up with that… you are scaring me. So, what kind of technique is it?”

“Hitting.”

“Huh—”

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m going to hit you. I’m going to hit you until your memories fly out of your head. This is the butler’s true amnesia surgery technique.”

“I will die. My life will be erased. Or rather, this method has nothing to do with butlers!”

“No need to worry. It will be over soon. When you wake up, you will be in a hospital bed. Then you will start murmuring things like, ‘Where am I? Who am I?’. Come on, everything will go well.”

“It won’t go well! This is crippling! Or rather, I will become crippled! You will reset the sixteen years of my precious memories!”

“Don’t worry, I will go see you two times a month. Empty-handed.”

“Bring something! Is this the concern that you have for the human that you crippled?”

“Muu, it can’t be helped. Then I will bring an ecchi book. What do you want? Mature women?”

“You’re strongly misunderstanding my tastes…..!”

“….What did you say? Don’t tell me it’s more extreme than this? Mu—…… I didn’t know there was such a brave man among my classmates. Okay, I will spread your legend. Now, calm down and sleep, Silver Killer.”

“I got a such shameful nicknameeee—!!”

*Rattling*

I think I heard the sound of the image I had of Konoe Subaru breaking into pieces.

This is dangerous. Do something. That damn guy has a cute face, but there is something wrong with his head. Aah, what should I do? No matter how many times I say that I will keep quiet about his secret, the Konoe in front of me will probably not believe me. However, I also don’t want to get beaten up.

“Damn, there’s no other way.”

I slowly stretched my spine and got up.

I guessed that the mood had become strange, and then Konoe took a short breath that sounded like “muu”.

“Why? Why are you trying to resist?”

“Aah, unfortunately, I hate pain. That’s why I will do what I can.”

“Huh—Looks like you’re prepared. I don’t hate that, Silver Killer.”

“…Wha—. I beg of you, please stop calling me by that nickname.”

Then, Konoe held up his fists and took a step back from me.

Bring it on.

It felt as if he was saying that to me.

I felt a chill running through my skin.

To answer that highly motivated Butler-kun, I slowly took a step.

And—I slowly stepped back.

“Wha—”

At that moment, I could hear the sound of someone swallowing his breath from the surprise.

But it was too late.

And then, I changed the direction of my body and starting running as fast as I can.

Escaping.

I’m escaping.

I may look like this, but I have some confidence in my legs when used for running.

“You! You’re trying to run away?!”

Konoe’s voice was heard from behind. As expected, he was impatient.

“Sorry! But I hate pain!”

I ran through the school corridors while crying out loudly.

*thump*thump*thump*

I don’t think he’ll catch up to me, but I will run for as long as I can. For now, I will run to a place that his hands can’t reach. After that, I will think calmly.

“I won’t let you run away!”

He really followed me. The sound and pressure of footsteps got closer. It felt like I was in a resistance group during the Second World War. I felt a feeling of suspense attack me.

“Fight like a man! If you do, I will show you the mercy of a butler and finish it in one blow.”

“What mercy?! Or rather, I don’t want to hear about fighting like a man from a guy who looks like a girl.”

“Y, you said it! You really said what you shouldn’t have! Don’t move from there! In precisely two seconds, I will cut you into pieces, Silver Killer!”

“How many times do I have to tell you, don’t call me by that nickname!”

I felt an intimidating chill running through my spine. He’s fast. *Grrr* I think that I heard a sound similar to a rumble just now.

This is the second floor. I have to find a way to run to the first floor, but using the stairs is bad. He will probably hit me with a jump kick. Then…..!

I passed through the stairs and jumped into the classroom next to them. The smell of chemicals reached my nose. Yeah, this is the science room. It’s not like the science room will help with anything, but it’s enough for me to hide in.

*Pllaaaakkk*I closed the door and locked it. Okay, now I will just block the door so that it doesn’t open and go down through the window. Oh, perfect, the human body model is here (if I’m not mistaken, his name is Johnny). Lucky—, with this, I will seal the do—

 *Kaboom*

 The moment I tried to seal the door with the model, a crushing sound echoed throughout the science room.

I had an ominous feeling and turned my eyes towards the direction of the sound, and there was the shape of the door flying away.

Konoe had kicked the door down.

“Uooo?!”

I dodged the flying door. Making a clanging sound, the internal organs of the model crashed against the wall. Uaahh—, the large intestines and the liver are broken. It became a big disaster.

“I’m cornered.”

The butler came into the room, stepping over the broken peach-colored small intestines. How did this situation get so surreal?

Shit, if it has turned out this way, then I don’t have any other options. I was a little reluctant to use violence on a guy with such a cute face, but Konoe is also a man. If he is a man, I don’t have any reasons for holding back.

I grabbed the model by the leg and raised it. Okay, this is a batting center. My target is a home run. I won’t win any prizes, but I will be able to run all I want!

“Haaaa!!!”

I swung the body with my full power. If you looked in from outside, the scene would cause you to doubt my sanity, but for now, I had no other option. The model’s head cut through the air, aiming to hit Konoe.

“Don’t underestimate me!”

*Strong blow*.

Konoe hit a right, straight over the model’s neck.

The head flew like a cannon ball right through the open window.

“Ua, Uaaaahh!!” “Gyaaaa, a heaaad!!” Screams from a boy and a girl could be heard from below. Apparently, it fell right in front of a student couple that was going home. It surely turned into an Avicii-like(3) scene, but that doesn’t matter right now.

……What should I do?

There’s no longer anything to do.

It’s better to reach a resolution now.

I thought about it inside my mind, then took up a posture with my fists. I guarded with both my hands protecting my head. From my experience, this was the style that suited me the most. Yeah, I‘m not a complete amateur.

“Looks like you’re finally prepared for it.”

In response, Konoe also put up a fighting pose.

I gave him a piercing gaze.

And then—as if to let out a war declaration, those lips let out a sentence.

“Now I will finish you for real, with my [Butler Knuckle].”

“………”

Wha—, cut it out. What is this [Butler Knuckle]? Just what it says, huh? I thought it was a new type of curve ball.

“I don’t give a shit, but you don’t have any naming sense, huh?”

“Wha….what are you saying?! Isn’t this name cool?! Look, [Butler Knuckle]!!”

“No, it’s terrible. [Butler Knuckle].”

I only told my honest impressions. His face turned red and he groaned ‘uuh’.

……Don’t tell me, he’s embarrassed?

“Kuu… it’s the first time in my life that I have been shamed like this. I won’t forgive you anymore. I will let you see my mortal technique.”

“Mortal technique?”

“Yeah, I call it [End of Earth].”

“That scale is just too big.”

Destroying the Earth… if you do it, you will die too!!

“Seriously, there must be something wrong with your naming sense.”

“Shu—shut up, don’t criticize my naming sense!”

“………Sorry. This time I’m in the wrong. You thought about it with all your might…”

“Wha—what’s with that ‘I already understand’ face! Don’t look at me like I have a pitiful appearance!?”

“Shit… I thought I was doing something cool. Even though I thought about it for a week. Well, then…” Konoe said in a low tone, slightly moving his lips like a little kid.

“…………”

This is dangerous.

He looks….very cute.

The gap between his normally astonished look and now was so large that… Guuh. Stop it. Stop it. If I keep thinking about it, I will climb the stairs of being an adult. Certainly, on a different route from normal people. This is the one thing that I must avoid……!

I tried to regain my senses while I steadied my breath.

Now that I think about it, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a fight like this.

When I think like this, *tumdum* my heart beats hard.

“————”

The tension permeated the science classroom.

I could clearly hear my breath. The core of my body became cold.

The air strained.

In the middle of it, I’m attempting to make the first move.

 I realized it.

 The beaker on the shelf next to Konoe.

Maybe because of the fight from before, it lost its balance. And the big glass beaker that was on it could fall at any moment.

It looks like Konoe didn’t realize it. I think his angle didn’t allow him to see it. The beaker started to incline, and as if a string had been cut, it began to free fall.

“Dodge it!”

My body moved reflexively. Konoe became astonished by the sudden loud shout that was raised from my mouth.

Shit, he didn’t realize it yet.

—Exactly.

If it continues this way, the glass beaker will fall on his head.

“Shit!”

I beg you. I hope I can reach it in time.

Praying so, I pushed Konoe down with my full power.

*Shock*

The sound of glass being shattered was heard.

Behind us were the glass shards of the broken beaker.

That was dangerous. It had only missed us by a hair’s breadth.

When the danger had passed, I started feeling relieved, but—

“Uuu…”

I heard a pained voice from below.

Konoe, who was pushed down by me, was groaning. I thought that he was hurt somewhere, but then I gazed down at Konoe……

That moment, my heart froze.

Konoe, who was below me.

A slender body like a doll’s. Defined curves. Eyes like jade.

….This is dangerous, what is this cute creature?

A pleasant aroma was gently reaching my nose. Even if he is a guy, he smells so good, and he’s so soft. I touched something soft when I moved my hand……

“Huh…?”

Wait a minute.

No matter what, isn’t this feeling impossible for a man? *funyu**funyu* I tried to move my finger that was on his left chest.

“………………”

This is strange.

This is very, very strange.

Why does he—being a man, have breasts!?

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

He screamed like a girl.

At the same time, a fist was swung into my face from below.

“Guhaa!!”

Konoe’s uppercut reached my chin. I was blown away while raising a groaning voice. Fortunately or not, my body was blown away from the broken beaker pieces.

“It hurts!!”

While bearing the pain from the hard hit, I touched my beaten chin and a wet feeling was left on my palm.

……Wet?

When I wondered and looked, ‘my hand was dyed red’.

Blood.

To be precise, a nosebleed.

*Drip**drip* Fresh blood was dripping from my nose.

This is strange; I should have been hit on the chin… Then why am I having a bright red nosebleed?

“Wha—Impossible… why?”

Why?

‘Even if I didn’t touch a girl, why is my nose bleeding?’

“Y, you touched it…”

A trembling voice was heard. When I moved my eyes from my bloody hand, I saw the figure of Konoe hugging his arms around his chest, trembling with his face dyed red. Now that I look, his eyes are wet.

“Do, don’t tell me, that Konoe-san…”

My voice was trembling.

This is true. My opponent is Subaru-sama. In the opinions of all the girls, he was the most admired guy. Yet, even so.

“You…… you’re a girl?”

Beethoven’s concert was playing in my brain. The song was [Fate](4). The one that kind of goes like ‘tchan-dyan-dyan’.

Girl.

Konoe Subaru was a girl.

No, why does a cute girl like her come to the academy dressed like a boy?

This is surely a surprise. Now I get it. In two more seconds she will say, ‘Ahaha, baka, baka! To believe in such a joke!’, trying to trick people with strange methods. Haha, I hope it will happen. Please, I beg of you.

“—I will kill you.”

At that moment, I almost screamed.

*Chill*

An unspeakable chill ran through my spine.

Konoe was standing right in front of me.

In Konoe Subaru’s hands was a bright red fire extinguisher.

“Wha… Fire extinguisheeeeeeeeer!?”

There’s no doubt. That is a fire extinguisher; even a child in kindergarten would know that. He probably took the one in the science room. He made a pose with the metallic red object gripped in his hand.

“Wa—wait a minute Konoe-san. If you hit me with that, I have the feeling that my memory won’t be the only thing that will be blown away……”

“Aah, I understand. A pervert like you wasn’t ever supposed to be in this world……”

“Tha—that was an accident!! That was without a doubt an accident!!”

“An accident, huh. You touched……you say that even when you have touched my breasts and had a nosebleed……!”

“Uuurrr,” Konoe wistfully groaned.

“You’ve got it wrong! It’s not because I got excited that I had a nosebleed! This is because my body ha—”

“Excuses are useless. Don’t worry, I will hide your corpse inside the wall, and in the future I will be the teacher here. Then I will be able to keep an eye on your body, so that no one will ever find it.”

Keh. Holy shit. He is perfectly aiming for a crime. Rather, this is bad. I can’t stand up because of the fear. Uaaaaaaaaaaaah, move! Please move, I beg of you, body, please move!!

“Then, this is the end. Die while cringing in despair.”

I received a death sentence.

According to the horoscope, my lucky color is red.

Aah, from now on, I won’t watch that program anymore.

The bright red fire extinguisher was reflected in my eyes.

Right at the moment that it hit the side of my head, I thought that.

♀x♂

TRANSLATOR NOTES

(1) Kimchi is a traditional Korean dish made from spicy fermented cabbage.

(2) く

(3) The lowest level of hell in Buddhism.

(4) Beethoven’s 5th symphony.