Mayo Chiki!

Chapter 4 - Pivot of War

This might be a bit sudden, but our Rouran Academy has two gym halls. One is always used during our P.E. class, which had been built years before we started attending this school, making it new and shiny. The other one is the old gym hall. Because the new gym hall has been built, this one practically lost its use. On top of that, this apparently was built upon a graveyard, so the reason they haven’t demolished it yet is simple because of fear about curses and bad fortune resulting from that. In short, it wasn’t used anymore, but also couldn’t be destroyed—that is the former gym hall. And now, a gathering happened there.

“Senpai, over here.” Nakuru, who was still wearing a Silent Sheep costume, guided Konoe and me along the way.

Because the windows had been blocked off, the inside of the building was dark, with no sunlight to reach in there, and the only way to see weren’t electronic lights, but small lights on the floor and walls. On top of that, the members present were talking to each other here and there, wearing snow white robes, together with white triangular hoods that had two small round openings for the eyes. I feel like I stumbled upon some evil cult or underground mafia…I wonder if Usami is somewhere in here.

“How many members are there in total?”

“Nakuru doesn’t know the accurate numbers, but… we’re at least more than 100. However, here are the few selected members of both the [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] that were chosen for this event. We can’t have the entire two groups gathered here after all.”

That’s the two main forces of Subaru’s fan club for you. To think they even reached staff, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to create such a meeting.

“……”

Walking behind me, Konoe (naturally all in white) didn’t utter a single word. I can’t blame her, this is a meeting of people who all are passionate fans of her. It must be hard to swallow. I’m glad we had these clothes ready. If people found out that Subaru-sama was right here with them, they would probably destroy the entire building. Same goes for me, if they knew I was watching them, I’d probably be killed.

“We’ve arrived. Please have a seat over here.” Nakuru pointed at two empty seats.

We sat down, and observed our surroundings again. Just like old West-East Germany, the former gym hall was clearly split into two areas. It must be the [S4] and [Watch over Committee]. Both sides were equipped with many tables and chairs.

“Looks like they’re about to have some giant debate.”

Some buttons were on the various tables as well, making me feel like I was watching some quiz show.

“During the event, it’s forbidden to cross that line. Otherwise, mindless bloodshed would begin.”

“Hmm. Still, I’m shocked you had seats open for us. The number of participants was limited, right?”

“Yes, Nakuru just planned two more seats, because it would be better if Senpai and Subaru-sama were with us.”

Hmm, that’s the [Watch over Committee] president for you. From what I heard, she’s a very charismatic presence inside the committee, and all members are passionate fans of her doujins or something like that.

“What about you Senpai, are you fine leaving the class cafe you were doing?”

“…Ah.”

Crap, I totally forgot. My shift is about to begin. Not to mention that Subaru-sama is here with me, will they even make any business?

“…Hm?”

There, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Talk about the devil. On the display, it showed the name Kurose Yamato. Ahh, thank god. He’s still alive. He’s been away ever since he was kicked into the girls’ toilet. With these thoughts, I accepted the phone call.

‘Hello!? Jirou!’

Kurose’s somewhat panicked voice greeted me. For some reason, he was out of breath.

“Y-Yo, Kurose, what’s up? Should I not have skipped work after all?” I answered in a quiet voice that the people around me wouldn’t be able to hear me.

Then again, I can’t just go back to the classroom now. I need to think of an excuse.

‘No, it’s fine. Don’t come back.’

“Hm? What’s wrong? Is there some ruckus going on?”

After all, their shining star Subaru-sama is gone, so I guessed that maybe some customers felt like they got cheated out of their money, and turned into an angry mob.

‘…Yeah, something like that might have been better after all.’ Kurose said, surprising me.

Might have been better? What’s going on? What is happening in our class that could be more terrifying than an angry mob?

“W-What happened?”

I felt a terrible premonition, and asked with a quivering voice. In response, Kurose responded with a single sentence.

‘—The real ones appeared.’

“…HUh?”

‘I’m saying that the real deal got here! I don’t know where they heard the rumour from, but those who wear women’s clothing for a living made their way to us!’

“Women’s clothing for a living…Don’t tell me!?”

The reality that was explained to me by my classmate was too shocking, I felt dizzy. I can’t believe it. Even if this is a cosplay cafe, I didn’t think that the real deal would arrive…

“Why? What do they want with our class?”

Maybe they want to crush a rivaling store? No, that would be weird. After all, we’re only a business for today.

‘…To draft.’

“Draft?”

‘Yeah, though I guess calling it headhunting would be more accurate. They started a drafting meeting in the middle of the classroom without even asking for our consent. Several people have already been taken away…!’

“T-Taken away…!?”

‘Haha, it’s no joke. I didn’t think that I would experience such an extreme job hunting in my student days.’ Kurose laughed, devoid of any energy. ‘The customers and the other girls somehow managed to escape. However, the exit was closed off for us men before we could make it out. That’s why…we’ve chosen an honorable death over endless slavery.’

“Wha…Don’t tell me!”

Stop! There’s no way you can win! You’ll only lose your life in battle!

‘Arrivederci, Jirou! Take care of Subaru-sama!’

“K-Kuroseeeee!”

I could see Kurose wearing a tight nurse uniform as he jumped into the enemy army with a roaring ‘Uooooooh!’ in the back of my head. However, I shortly after heard a weak ‘Ah, no, stop…Ah…Ahhh…!’, and the call was cut.

“…Damn it!”

Farewell, my friend. I won’t waste your sacrifice. I’ll…I’ll definitely live my life to the fullest! For your sake as well! I gave my farewell to my trusted friend, and wiped away the passionate tears running down my cheeks.

“…Jirou, are you okay?”

Konoe’s voice pulled me back to reality. Looking over, she gave me a concerned gaze.

“You were looking like you were lamenting over something…If you’re not careful, people will find out that it’s us.”

“R-Right, sorry. A lot just happened.” I dropped my tone of voice a bit, and responded.

It’s true that because of that call just now, I’ve been gathering a bit of attention from the people around me. Just as Konoe said, if they figured out that it’s us, things will end terribly. I might be killed for real. So, I need to stay silent…

“Ah, please have a look at the schedule, it’s about to begin.”

“!”

When I looked over at the stage, the spotlights turned on. Standing atop the stage was another person wearing a white robe like us, but for some reason they weren’t wearing a hood like we were, but the mask of a sheep…of the Silent Sheep. When that person appeared, the surroundings grew silent in an instant.

“…That person is the founder of [S4], and its leader.” Nakuru whispered with a quiet voice.

It was an awfully silent voice, but she must be worried of being heard in this silence around us.

“When Subaru-sama enrolled at this school, many different fanclubs were founded, but the one who stood above all and united them was the leader of [S4]…However, even they couldn’t stop the rupture that caused the creation of the [Watch over Committee].”

“So that’s why this event is going on right now.”

“Indeed. They rarely appear on stage. Even when it comes to organizing the [S4], they mostly use phone calls or emails, so the fact that they stand on that stage right now just shows how much they don’t want to lose.”

“…..”

Fine by me. The one standing up on that stage is the enemy’s leader. And to me, they are my mortal enemy. As long as they don’t lose during this event, my safety at this school is not guaranteed.

“Huh. No clue who they are, but I’m not going to lose.” I muttered a quiet, yet motivated voice.

However…

“Eh?” For some reason, Nakuru let out a dumbfounded voice. “W-Wait a second, Senpai. No clue who they are…What are you saying?”

“……?”

What is she talking about? Are you telling me that I’m supposed to know them?

“Everyone, thank you for gathering here today in such numbers. Let us—”

They—No, she took off her mask, as she spoke up with a dignified voice.

“—Begin this battle.”

What appeared from behind the mask were glossy black twintails. After revealing her face, the girl slightly bowed, and proudly announced her name.

“Apologies for the late introduction, but I am the representative of today’s [Shining Star Subaru-sama] meeting, and a second-year here at Private Rouran Academy—Suzutsuki Kanade.”

×

“Are you shitting me!?”

……Careless as I was, I just screamed these words at the top of my lungs, directly at Suzutsuki on stage…I mean, can you blame me? Why is she here? Not to mention as the founder and leader of [S4]? What kind of a betrayal is this? I feel like I’m dancing the polka right now with Oda Nobunaga and Caesar. The people who’ll stab us in the back are Mitsuhide, Brutus, and Suzutsuki Kanade.

“Idiot, why’d you scream like that…!” I heard Konoe’s panicked voice, but it was already too late.

“Eh? Was that…”

“That voice just now…”

I started hearing faint muttering around me, together with people suddenly leaping at me and Konoe…Ah, stop! If you do that…! Without giving me any chance to defend myself, the hood and robe were pulled off me. A moment of silence followed, gazes gathering on us, when—

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”

Screams like a volcano erupting filled the gym hall. Looking next to me, I saw Subaru-sama with her face and body revealed…Oh lord, they found us out.

“Kyaaaaaa! Why is Subaru-sama here!?”

“Not to mention that he’s wearing a china dressss!?”

“Subaru-sama! Hug me! Please hug me!”

With the sudden appearance of this school’s prince, the hall suddenly changed into something resembling the live show of M* JAPAN. However, at the same time as they were ecstatic, there were also those…

“That damn four-eyed bastard!”

“Coming here so I can kill him in person, he sure has guts!”

“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!”

It felt like I was standing in the center of the antique Roman colosseum. Of course, nobody was cheering for me, they just wanted to see me get brutally murdered. You wouldn’t even get such feedback if you insulted popular Korean idols on the internet. In the truest sense of the word, the atmosphere changed drastically. Whereas previously calmness and silence reigned, now it was exchanged with excitement, passion—as well as madness. In the distance, I saw the [S4] members crossing the borderline to come rushing towards us.

Damn it, I messed up…I’ll be killed. I’ll lose my life before the actual event begins.

“…Calm down.” A dignified voice spoke up.

It was Suzutsuki. Just because of her order, all members present stopped moving entirely.

“Everyone, let us end our endless fight here today.” She declared, and smiled gently. “We have prepared today’s event to put a final end to our ongoing battle. That being said, possibly because my efforts were lacking as of late, the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] have been clashing more and more recently. The reason I created [S4] was simply for there to be no fighting between the fans of my dear butler.” She explained with a somewhat apologetic voice, and continued. “Ever since Subaru enrolled at this school, many fanclubs have formed, and countless bouts have resulted from this, creating a Warring Fanclubs era. For my butler’s sake, you all were fighting. I wanted to stop these needless fighting by establishing [S4]. So please, don’t make my wish end up in vain.”

Konoe listened to Suzutsuki’s words, and muttered a quiet ‘Young lady…’ in response. Judging from that, it seems like Konoe didn’t know about her being [S4]’s leader. I bet she probably tried to be considerate, and thus hid it from her. I mean, what she’s saying does make sense. She openly admitted that she deeply loved her own butler after all.

That’s why she formed her own fanclub, so that no more needless fighting would occur—No, we’re talking about that rich lady. She must have created [S4] in order to control all of the students, and not cause us any trouble. However…

“That’s why, everyone, let the winner of this event decide everything.” She declared with a gentle expression. “That is our goal for today. Depending on the result, I don’t mind whatever happens to the present Sakamachi-kun.” She looked over towards me.

That Devil Suzutsuki…As expected, she has no plans to actually help me out here. She probably enjoys seeing me cornered. Telling me to find my way out of this myself…

“Hah.”

Fight’s on, wench. I’ll make it out of here alive. Don’t think everything will always work out for you.

“…Subaru. What will you do? Are you really fine being on that side?” Suzutsuki asked with a speaker in hand.

After thinking about it for a moment, Konoe answered with a resolute ‘Yes’.

“I am your butler, young lady. However, the reason this fight happened is because of me. Then, I will choose that method that will keep people unhurt. No, let me choose that.” She announced with a determined tone.

Hearing this, Suzutsuki nodded along.

“Then, let us begin this great war with Subaru and Sakamachi-kun on the line—I name it the [First Subaru-sama Cult Quiz Contest].”

Together with this declaration, the entire gym hall screamed and cheered like never before.

“Cult quiz contest?”

As everybody else screamed in excitement, Nakuru’s confused voice still clearly reached my ears.

“Yes, that is the identity of today’s competition. You will answer questions regarding Subaru, and the one who scores more points will bring the win to their squad.”

“…So that’s what these buttons were for.”

Just like I guessed, they planned this as some messed up TV show, and whoever presses first has the right to answer.

“However, this situation is not very convenient.”

“Why? We have Konoe on our side.”

Since these questions will be about Konoe herself, she should be able to answer them easily, right?

“Yes. However, that only brings us to equal grounds. After all, we had a regular Subaru-sama fanclub meeting, called the ‘Subaru-sama Cult Exam’.”

“……”

What kind of exam is that? Do you get a Subaru-sama Rank or something?

“Judging from the results of this exam, Nakuru’s group ended up losing. That’s why, we’re only on equal ground now with Subaru-sama at our side.” Nakuru explained, and added. “By the way, Usami-senpai ranked very high when it came to that exam.”

I see. So basically, at this stage, both teams could fall.

“Hmpf, no problem at all. This quiz is about me, right? There’s no way I wouldn’t be able to answer those questions.” Konoe spoke, brimming with confidence.

Not to mention that I’m in there as well. I’ve been with Konoe ever since this April, and spend more time with her than the average student. If so, then we can win…

“Then, let us begin the quiz.” Suzutsuki announced over the speaker.

Alright, the first question should be easy…

“Question 1: What bread did Subaru buy at the school store on the Tuesday two weeks ago.”

“Like hell I know that?!” I screamed in rage.

What kind of cult is this!? Even Konoe faltered, frantically trying to remember as she bit her lip. Of course, I don’t even remember what I ate two days ago…

“Yes! A hot dog bun, a chocolate cone, melon bread, and an egg sandwich!” Nakuru pressed the button at lightning speed, and answered.

“Correct.” Suzutsuki answered, and…Wait, she was right!?

“Eh? Why are you so shocked? Well, it is surprising to see Subaru-sama eat so much with such a small body, but…”

“No no no no! That’s not why I’m shocked!”

“Then, why? That was an easy question just now.”

“Easy!?”

“Yes. Every fanclub member could answer that question.” Nakuru answered like it was nothing.

The people around us also commented with things like ‘Ahh, I was so nervous, I was too late’ or ‘Thank god it was an easy question in the beginning, right’…Yeah, no. These guys are nuts. They are bat-shit crazy. You’re no fans anymore, you’re stalkers.

“Next question.” Suzutsuki continued without much hesitation.

Damn it, I bet there’s going to be a question even I can answer…!

“Question 2: The juice that Subaru drank yesterday in the classroom…”

Ohhh! That’s much easier! After all, we’re classmates. I feel like it was some afternoon tea…

“…what is the profile of the company worker who is supplying and filling the vending machines at this school?”

“That ain’t even got anything to do with Subaru god dang it!” I screamed in rage once again.

However, this time the buzzer of the [S4] party rang out, and someone screamed.

“Yes! That’s Carlos Uehara! He is a Brazilian man who left his family back in his country to earn money here!”

And look at that, it was correct again. Seriously!? Why do you know about that?! Is Carlos’ information public or something?! As I was left baffled, the girl who answered the question correctly showed a confident grin.

“Alright, it’s time to take back Subaru-sama!”

“I bet he must have been threatened by that four-eyes!”

“Steal him back! Return our god!”

They are intent on nailing me to the cross like I was Jesus. It seems like those girls from the [S4] are under the false impression that Konoe is being deceived by me or something like that. I guess I really have to win this battle. Otherwise, my head will fly…!

“Urk…!”

However, Suzutsuki’s questions were no joke. They reached from a teacher’s dark past, like ‘How much money did Subaru’s English teacher pay for their teacher’s license?’ to social construct questions like ‘Subaru is thinking that this country’s financial situation is going down the drain. What are possible methods to restructure the economy?’ that made no sense in this context. All of these questions sounded way too ridiculous, but Konoe’s fans answered each and every one of them correctly.

I was looking down on you too much, Subaru-sama Fanclub. To think you were such a twisted organization…

“D-Damn it…Even though this is about me, I can’t even answer one question…” Konoe started tearing up, and grit her teeth in frustration.

Yeah, calm down, Konoe. Seeing you this frustrated is actually pretty cute, but half of this isn’t even about you anymore.

“Don’t worry, we’ve been answering questions at a good pace. Nakuru and the others are working hard, so we should be about equal right now. Since there’s a quality prize on the line, everyone is motivated like never before.” Nakuru showed us a comforting expression, after having answered several questions herself.

It seems like the people answering the questions aren’t being shown just how many points each team has, or how many points a solved question gets. They will probably reveal it all at the very end. Feels like Red and W*ite singing contest on the NHK.

“50:50…so we both have chances to win.”

Thinking like that, I’ve managed to calm down a bit. Really, I wonder what kind of punishment will await me. I heard that it’s something like ‘People who laid their hands on Subaru-sama will be burned at stake like during the witch trials’, huh. I thought it was just some dark joke, but I guess not.

“Everyone, great work making it this far. It is time for the final question.”

“!”

With Suzutsuki’s voice, I returned back to my senses. The final question, which will decide this contest. Alright, we definitely have to take this one home…! I gulped audibly, and it seemed like the others felt similar, as the atmosphere tightened up. In the midst of this, Suzutsuki slowly opened her mouth.

“Question 99—Who was Subaru’s partner for his first kiss?”

At that moment, the entire place froze up. Her first kiss? Also, even the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] have grown silent. Of course…everybody except Konoe Subaru.

“Y-Young lady!?” Butler-kun jolted up from her chair with a beet red face, panicking.

She clearly didn’t expect that question to pop up now. But…that reaction. Does she know the answer?

“…Alright, go and answer it, Konoe!” I said with a tone full of determination, to which Konoe’s gaze shot towards me, shocked.

“What are you saying, Jirou! Are you serious!? Do you even know what would happen if I revealed that here!?”

Hmm, now that she says it. After all, the person who stole Subaru-sama’s first will die for sure. That lucky girl will be hated by every single person present—No, possibly by the entire school, cursed and experience any kind of torture you could imagine. But, that doesn’t matter. If we lose here, it’ll be me who’s burning at the stake. It pains me to say it, but that unlucky fellow…no, lucky bastard will have to be sacrificed here…!

“Please, Konoe. It’s a one-time request of mine.”

“Urk…” Konoe blushed furiously, and started tearing up.

I bet she must be embarrassed to broadly name the person who stole her first kiss, especially in such a situation. As a result, Subaru-sama grew silent, whereas everybody else just waited for her answer. I don’t even know how much time passed, when finally—Konoe opened her small, flower petal-like lips.

“……………Jirou.”

Following that, she used her cute index finger to point in my direction.

“………”

……Now hold on. No no no no no, what is she talking about? I tried to open my mouth and protest about this nonsense I was just forced to hear, when—

“Correct. By the way, it happened this year in April at the newly-opened leisure land.”

Before I could say anything, Suzutsuki got the jump on me, and practically made this entire situation explode into a chaotic mess….Huh? Ahaha, how troublesome. I don’t get what’s going on right now.

“That being said, it seemed to have been an accident. Sakamachi-kun was about to drown, so Subaru resorted to mouth-to-mouth respiration.” Not knowing of my internal conflict, Suzutsuki continued with a blank tone.

I mean, I was about to drown, but…didn’t she save me…

“Y-You’re kidding, right? Konoe, Suzutsuki is just talking nonsense again, yeah?” I clung onto my last glimmer of hope, and asked Konoe.

However, she just quietly shook her head.

“…No. What the young lady is saying is all true.” Konoe said, her voice about to cut out from the embarrassment.

—A moment later.

“W-What did you saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!?”

The entire hall screamed what I was feeling inside of me. Immediately after Konoe finished those words, I heard screams and shrieks around me.

“W-What is this about!?”

“Please, more details!”

“Did Subaru-sama’s lips taste like blue hawaii!”

The folks from the [Watch over Committee] immediately surrounded me. Urk, they’re so excited, they completely lost themselves…! They’re like a pack of wolves. Even Nakuru was going crazy, screaming ‘W-W-W-With your glasses!? Were you kissing while you were wearing glasses!?’ right into my ear.

In the midst of these I heard heavy footsteps approaching me. When I turned towards them, I saw everyone from [S4] approaching. They look like they couldn’t care less about this contest anymore. Instead, their eyes were gleaming with intent to kill me, as they crossed the borderline with no hesitation.

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—I’m dead. At this rate, I’ll be slaughtered. The second I judged so, I started running.

“Ah, he’s running!”

“After him! Don’t let him escape!”

“SLAUGHTER HIM SLAUGHTER HIM!”

I heard blood-curdling screams behind my back. Eeeek, this makes me feel like I’m in Spain during the Bull Runs. It is said that in times of imminent lethal danger, the human body can muster up strength beyond what is normally possible. That is exactly what I felt at that moment. Both my legs carried me through the gym hall with speeds I didn’t expect from myself. My single goal in mind was the mastermind behind this situation.

“Oh my, Jirou-kun. What’s wrong? You’re quite energetic today, I see.”

While gasping for air, I jumped up the stage, to which Suzutsuki greeted me with these words, naturally with the microphone away from her. Damn, she really is enjoying this, huh! She thrives off my suffering!

“Hey, do something about this, Suzutsuki!”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Don’t make me spell it out! At this rate, I’ll be killed by these fanatics!”

“Fufu. Why? Because of that question just now, the [Watch over Committee] won with 87 to 62 points, you know?”

“Can’t you see that literally nobody cares about the contest anymore!?”

“It’s fine, I’ll properly cut out any decisive scenes.”

“You can!?”

“Well, the one being cut out will probably be Jirou-kun. Right out of this existence, that is.”

“Am I some TV blooper?!”

“And then, the staff enjoyed the delicious Jirou-kun slices backstage.”

“It’s not funny if that could actually happen, okay!”

Even as we were talking, the members of the [Watch over Committee] and the [S4] were ready to leap up on stage, planning to assault me. What insane pressure this is. Not even housewives preparing for a sale were this hungry for flesh.

“…I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this either.” Suddenly, Suzutsuki apologized with a dejected voice.

Eh? What’s this reaction? Did even that villainess feel something like guilt now?

“But, you know, when I get too happy, I tend to just do it.”

“What kind of logic is that!?”

“I figured that if I revealed the fact about the kiss here, it’d definitely end up interesting.”

“For you, yeah!”

“When I saw you and Subaru come here, I immediately thought ‘Ahh, I can definitely make this interesting’, and got all excited.”

“Nothing interesting happened! You made it happen!”

“Fufu, you’re right.” Suzutsuki showed an enjoyable smile. “You know…I’m the type of person who loves to tease the person I—” She explained, sounding faintly embarrassed.

What’s that about? I couldn’t pick up her words towards the end because she suddenly started whispering.

“…Damn it.”

…I can’t anymore. This is all that damn wench’s fault. Shit, how can she be the idol of this school? She might have the looks, but look at what she’s hiding beneath that. I hear she often gets confessed to, but if they all knew about her real personality…

“—!”

There, it felt like a shock ran through my body. If this was a manga, then you’d see a lightbulb pop up above my head. Being chased around all the time might have led me to become crazy. I came up with a solution, a method to break out of this rotten situation.

“…!”

However, that would require a lot of determination. After all, this will be the first time for me, and although this is simply to protect my own life, I will have to lie to Suzutsuki—No, to every person currently present. If I’m going to do it, then I need to go all the way.

“—Suzutsuki, lend me your mic.” I asked Suzutsuki.

“?” She tilted her head in confusion, but listened to my request.

Alright, the rest just relies on my guts. Standing in front of me were the countless fanclub members, ready to leap at me. With as loud of a voice as I could manage, I screamed.

“Everyone, listen to me!”

My voice resounded from the speakers. Wow, I really feel like singing now. If I screamed ‘Listen to my voice!’, they might actually just jump up here. However, probably shocked by my desperate attempt, the pack stopped moving. This is my chance. Can’t let this escape…!

“Let me say one thing! This entire event happened because you all think that me and Konoe are dating, right!? But, that’s actually not it! Konoe and I are definitely not a couple!”

My voice must have reached them, as several people in the audience looked at me in confusion, bewilderment filling their rows. This slowly changed into confirmation, and nobody dared to move closer to the stage. Instead, they were all just waiting for my next words, so I tightly grasped the microphone.

“That’s right, Konoe and I aren’t dating. We’re simple friends. The person I really like…” I took a deep breath, and formed the words in my head as smoothly as possible. “The one I truly like…is this very Suzutsuki Kanadeeeeee!”

×

Because of this unexpected event, the pack started to grow noisy.

“Eh? That just now, was that…”

“D-Don’t tell me…a confession?”

“Kyaaaa! In front of so many people…!”

Shrieks of excitement and voices of disbelief villed the gym hall. Alright, just as I planned. You’re right, this is a confession. My one and only way of making it out of this situation alive. As you know, Suzutsuki is popular. She even got a love letter before, and she rejected as many guys as there are stars in the sky, and every single boy at our school admires her.

That’s why, confessing to her wouldn’t be anything weird at all. I’m your average guy who got closer to Konoe with the goal of approaching Suzutsuki in the process. Conveniently enough, the rumour about me dating Usami hasn’t gone around at all. It’s all just nonsense so that I can make it out of this place.

At the very least, their consciousness of me dating Konoe should be gone. It’ll probably cause a big ruckus that I was her first kiss, but worrying about that comes later. After all, from here on out, I will be rejected by Suzutsuki. I knew this from the start. There’s no way Suzutsuki Kanade would have feelings for me. Then, nothing out of the ordinary should happen even if I confessed. Confessing to her here, I will just get rejected. With that impact, I’ll make them all forget! All I need is for Suzutsuki to reject me…

“………” Oddly enough, Suzutsuki seemed a bit frozen stiff in shock.

However, she apparently figured out something right after, as she stole the mic back from me.

“Thank you, Sakamachi-kun.” She gently smiled.

Hm? Weird, that’s not the reaction I expected. I seriously think I’m wrong, but…she’s not going to say yes, is she…?

“But, I’m sorry.” However, she immediately went back on her own word. “If you confess to me like this, in such a place, then I can’t go out with you.”

“!”

T-This woman, she must have figured out what I was planning. Well, normally I’d be annoyed by that, but today I feel nothing but gratitude. As long as she just rejects my confession…

“Not to mention.” Suzutsuki continued in a sharp voice, like she was going to betray my expectations. “I do think you are a good person. But, I’m sure that this is just in the sense of a classmate, and nothing more. Put frankly, you stop at being a good person.”

“!?” It felt like I was forced to hear words a man should never have to hear.

…Um, Suzutsuki-san? It’s fine, okay. You already rejected me, so insulting me like this won’t benefit any of us.

“Ah, I’m sorry. You are such a good person, so why do I have to reject you…Even though you are such a kind person.”

Stab.

“It’s a shame. As a friend, you are wonderful. But, going beyond that, and becoming my lover is…you know?”

Stab, stab.

“That’s why, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But, Sakamachi-kun, let me say this at the very end. You can’t always stay as a good person. If you’re troubled, then come seek me out, I’ll always support you. After all, you’re a good person.” Suzutsuki said, and showed me a gentle smile.

……Weird. Why do I feel so sad now? I don’t know why, but before I realized it, I sank down on the ground. A good person…For some reason, these words stabbed right into my chest.

“Um…if you’d like, then buy something to eat later.”

I don’t know if it was [S4] or [Watch over Committee], but some member in the crowd gave me a 500 yen coin. As if that was the trigger, other people around approached me, saying things like ‘You did great out there, champ’, or ‘Keep on living, that’s all we can do’ or ‘Sorry, it was my misunderstanding, so don’t cry’, and so on.

Together with these uplifting comments, I would receive small amounts of donations, gum, chocolate, even Lipovi*an D…and other nice gestures. Even the people who were dead set on slaughtering me now were giving me a pitiful glance…Yeah, just as planned, haha. I was saved, that’s all that matters, so why can’t I stop crying…

“Senpai!”

A familiar voice reached my ears. Looking over, I saw Nakuru.

“You can’t lose! Let’s use this failed love and make you awake to a different interest! Nakuru and the [Watch over Committee] will try to work towards that direction as well!”

“………”

What do you even mean by that? Are you happy that you found new material or something? All because I got rejected by a girl? Ahh, I don’t care. I don’t even have the strength to retort on anything. Either way, with this, the decisive event between the [S4] and [Watch over Committee]—the [First Subaru-sama Cult Quiz Contest] ended with the reconciliation of both groups.

As I hung my head as probably the only loser of the night, the leaders of the two groups, Suzutsuki and Nakuru, were discussing things. Saying that they should work hard in a different direction from now on. So basically, everything was resolved because I was downgraded from Subaru-sama’s lover to being a normal classmate. What a peaceful result, indeed.

…Yeah, with such a single sacrifice, which would be me, a crisis was averted, and peace restored. If I just think of it that way, it doesn’t hurt as bad. After most of the fanclub members left the hall, only Suzutsuki and I were left behind on the stage. Since Konoe wasn’t around, she must be outside giving autographs or something.

“What’s wrong, Jirou-kun? Why so sad? Wasn’t this exactly what you had planned out?” Suzutsuki called out to me with a calm voice as always.

Well, you’re not wrong, but…

“If so, then I think you need to be thankful. I did something so cruel in order to make you gain more sympathy.”

Eat shit and die, you demon! I screamed inside of my heart.

“Hmpf, don’t give me such a scary look. Isn’t it fine? Your life was saved.”

“That is true, but still…” I tried to put strength into my limbs, and stood up.

I can’t be depressed forever. For now, I’ll just forget all the nonsense this girl told me. Though I’ll probably have nightmares about it for a while.

“But…Jirou-kun.” Suzutsuki asked me. “That confession just now…what if I agreed?”

“Huh?”

“If I said yes to your confession, what would you have done?”

“……”

Umm…even if you suddenly ask me that.

“Then I would have just said ‘Sorry, that was a lie’, and apologized. But, I knew that wouldn’t happen. After all, there’s no way you’d agree to my confession.”

“……” Suzutsuki let out a faint sigh.

…Hm? Is it just me, or does she look like she’s in a bad mood?

“Hey, Jirou-kun.” Suddenly, Suzutsuki called out my name, like a kitten asking to be fed. “You know, I am actually pretty angry.”

“Eh?”

“I mean, you did it to protect yourself, but you lied to me in front of so many people. As a boy, you’re one of the worst. I feel truly hurt.”

“Well, that’s…”

I know that I can’t make this an excuse, but still…Did I really hurt her that badly? I didn’t think it would hurt her that badly to be honest…

“That’s why—I will get my revenge now.”

“Excuse me?”

Because of this sudden declaration of war, I was left bewildered, merely waiting for her next words.

“Revenge, as I said. You will be going through the same as I just had to.”

It happened in an instant.

“—!?”

With a bright smile, Suzutsuki suddenly embraced me from the front. And if that wasn’t enough, she spoke with a voice as sweet as hot chocolate—

“—I love you~”

“…!”

Right then, I felt a hot sensation inside my nose.

My nose started bleeding. Without a doubt, this was my gynophobia acting up.

“…Guha!?” A voice escaped my mouth.

It didn’t matter that she was wearing clothes. Even though they were there, I felt Suzutsuki’s softness on my body. On top of that, her sweet words just now. It’s a miracle I managed to stay conscious.

“You….you…!”

Not to mention that Suzutsuki pressed her…two soft and voluptuous certain-kill weapons directly on me! Ahhh, it’s different from Konoe…even Usami! How do I say this…they’re no joke! Suzutsuki…No, Deretsuki-san is deadly!

“Alright, we’re even now.” She said with a teasing tone, and moved away from me.

“……”

…Alright, I decided. I definitely can’t make her angry anymore. Damn Devil Suzutsuki, she’s going to kill me just because I faked a confession like that. Also, her words just now…that’s just not fair. Being so cute isn’t fair.

“Now, let’s go, shall we. The after-festival is about to begin. Since you’re finally free, wouldn’t it be best to enjoy the festival?” Suzutsuki said it like it was nothing special at all.

She really is as much of a calm beauty as always. How can you flip that switch so quickly?

“You’re not wrong. But, there is one thing I was curious about. What would you have done if Subaru and I didn’t participate in the end?” I asked, while wiping away the blood with a tissue.

The fact that we came here should have been a mere coincidence. If not for Usami, I wouldn’t have known about this…

“Ahh, no worries about that.” Suzutsuki calmly responded. “After all, today’s event was a fixed game.”

“…What?”

“It was all decided. Loser, winner, participants, everything. A certain girl from the [S4], who is exceptionally good at the quizzes, quit.”

“A girl who is good at the quizzes?”

“Indeed. I received a direct message, saying that she wanted to quit. Saying that ‘I never had any interest in this event in the first place’. She might be a bit problematic, but possessed a lot of battle strength, which is why our loss was decided the second she left. Then again, I didn’t tell the other members.”

“…Suzutsuki, what’s that girl’s name?”

I just suddenly felt the urge to ask that. No, I was forced to ask that by my instincts.

“…? What are you talking about? You should know her more than anybody else, right?” Suzutsuki seemed slightly confused, and continued. “—It’s Usami. The girl who quit was Usami Masamune. Isn’t she your girlfriend?”

Chapter 4 - Pivot of War

This might be a bit sudden, but our Rouran Academy has two gym halls. One is always used during our P.E. class, which had been built years before we started attending this school, making it new and shiny. The other one is the old gym hall. Because the new gym hall has been built, this one practically lost its use. On top of that, this apparently was built upon a graveyard, so the reason they haven’t demolished it yet is simple because of fear about curses and bad fortune resulting from that. In short, it wasn’t used anymore, but also couldn’t be destroyed—that is the former gym hall. And now, a gathering happened there.

“Senpai, over here.” Nakuru, who was still wearing a Silent Sheep costume, guided Konoe and me along the way.

Because the windows had been blocked off, the inside of the building was dark, with no sunlight to reach in there, and the only way to see weren’t electronic lights, but small lights on the floor and walls. On top of that, the members present were talking to each other here and there, wearing snow white robes, together with white triangular hoods that had two small round openings for the eyes. I feel like I stumbled upon some evil cult or underground mafia…I wonder if Usami is somewhere in here.

“How many members are there in total?”

“Nakuru doesn’t know the accurate numbers, but… we’re at least more than 100. However, here are the few selected members of both the [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] that were chosen for this event. We can’t have the entire two groups gathered here after all.”

That’s the two main forces of Subaru’s fan club for you. To think they even reached staff, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to create such a meeting.

“……”

Walking behind me, Konoe (naturally all in white) didn’t utter a single word. I can’t blame her, this is a meeting of people who all are passionate fans of her. It must be hard to swallow. I’m glad we had these clothes ready. If people found out that Subaru-sama was right here with them, they would probably destroy the entire building. Same goes for me, if they knew I was watching them, I’d probably be killed.

“We’ve arrived. Please have a seat over here.” Nakuru pointed at two empty seats.

We sat down, and observed our surroundings again. Just like old West-East Germany, the former gym hall was clearly split into two areas. It must be the [S4] and [Watch over Committee]. Both sides were equipped with many tables and chairs.

“Looks like they’re about to have some giant debate.”

Some buttons were on the various tables as well, making me feel like I was watching some quiz show.

“During the event, it’s forbidden to cross that line. Otherwise, mindless bloodshed would begin.”

“Hmm. Still, I’m shocked you had seats open for us. The number of participants was limited, right?”

“Yes, Nakuru just planned two more seats, because it would be better if Senpai and Subaru-sama were with us.”

Hmm, that’s the [Watch over Committee] president for you. From what I heard, she’s a very charismatic presence inside the committee, and all members are passionate fans of her doujins or something like that.

“What about you Senpai, are you fine leaving the class cafe you were doing?”

“…Ah.”

Crap, I totally forgot. My shift is about to begin. Not to mention that Subaru-sama is here with me, will they even make any business?

“…Hm?”

There, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Talk about the devil. On the display, it showed the name Kurose Yamato. Ahh, thank god. He’s still alive. He’s been away ever since he was kicked into the girls’ toilet. With these thoughts, I accepted the phone call.

‘Hello!? Jirou!’

Kurose’s somewhat panicked voice greeted me. For some reason, he was out of breath.

“Y-Yo, Kurose, what’s up? Should I not have skipped work after all?” I answered in a quiet voice that the people around me wouldn’t be able to hear me.

Then again, I can’t just go back to the classroom now. I need to think of an excuse.

‘No, it’s fine. Don’t come back.’

“Hm? What’s wrong? Is there some ruckus going on?”

After all, their shining star Subaru-sama is gone, so I guessed that maybe some customers felt like they got cheated out of their money, and turned into an angry mob.

‘…Yeah, something like that might have been better after all.’ Kurose said, surprising me.

Might have been better? What’s going on? What is happening in our class that could be more terrifying than an angry mob?

“W-What happened?”

I felt a terrible premonition, and asked with a quivering voice. In response, Kurose responded with a single sentence.

‘—The real ones appeared.’

“…HUh?”

‘I’m saying that the real deal got here! I don’t know where they heard the rumour from, but those who wear women’s clothing for a living made their way to us!’

“Women’s clothing for a living…Don’t tell me!?”

The reality that was explained to me by my classmate was too shocking, I felt dizzy. I can’t believe it. Even if this is a cosplay cafe, I didn’t think that the real deal would arrive…

“Why? What do they want with our class?”

Maybe they want to crush a rivaling store? No, that would be weird. After all, we’re only a business for today.

‘…To draft.’

“Draft?”

‘Yeah, though I guess calling it headhunting would be more accurate. They started a drafting meeting in the middle of the classroom without even asking for our consent. Several people have already been taken away…!’

“T-Taken away…!?”

‘Haha, it’s no joke. I didn’t think that I would experience such an extreme job hunting in my student days.’ Kurose laughed, devoid of any energy. ‘The customers and the other girls somehow managed to escape. However, the exit was closed off for us men before we could make it out. That’s why…we’ve chosen an honorable death over endless slavery.’

“Wha…Don’t tell me!”

Stop! There’s no way you can win! You’ll only lose your life in battle!

‘Arrivederci, Jirou! Take care of Subaru-sama!’

“K-Kuroseeeee!”

I could see Kurose wearing a tight nurse uniform as he jumped into the enemy army with a roaring ‘Uooooooh!’ in the back of my head. However, I shortly after heard a weak ‘Ah, no, stop…Ah…Ahhh…!’, and the call was cut.

“…Damn it!”

Farewell, my friend. I won’t waste your sacrifice. I’ll…I’ll definitely live my life to the fullest! For your sake as well! I gave my farewell to my trusted friend, and wiped away the passionate tears running down my cheeks.

“…Jirou, are you okay?”

Konoe’s voice pulled me back to reality. Looking over, she gave me a concerned gaze.

“You were looking like you were lamenting over something…If you’re not careful, people will find out that it’s us.”

“R-Right, sorry. A lot just happened.” I dropped my tone of voice a bit, and responded.

It’s true that because of that call just now, I’ve been gathering a bit of attention from the people around me. Just as Konoe said, if they figured out that it’s us, things will end terribly. I might be killed for real. So, I need to stay silent…

“Ah, please have a look at the schedule, it’s about to begin.”

“!”

When I looked over at the stage, the spotlights turned on. Standing atop the stage was another person wearing a white robe like us, but for some reason they weren’t wearing a hood like we were, but the mask of a sheep…of the Silent Sheep. When that person appeared, the surroundings grew silent in an instant.

“…That person is the founder of [S4], and its leader.” Nakuru whispered with a quiet voice.

It was an awfully silent voice, but she must be worried of being heard in this silence around us.

“When Subaru-sama enrolled at this school, many different fanclubs were founded, but the one who stood above all and united them was the leader of [S4]…However, even they couldn’t stop the rupture that caused the creation of the [Watch over Committee].”

“So that’s why this event is going on right now.”

“Indeed. They rarely appear on stage. Even when it comes to organizing the [S4], they mostly use phone calls or emails, so the fact that they stand on that stage right now just shows how much they don’t want to lose.”

“…..”

Fine by me. The one standing up on that stage is the enemy’s leader. And to me, they are my mortal enemy. As long as they don’t lose during this event, my safety at this school is not guaranteed.

“Huh. No clue who they are, but I’m not going to lose.” I muttered a quiet, yet motivated voice.

However…

“Eh?” For some reason, Nakuru let out a dumbfounded voice. “W-Wait a second, Senpai. No clue who they are…What are you saying?”

“……?”

What is she talking about? Are you telling me that I’m supposed to know them?

“Everyone, thank you for gathering here today in such numbers. Let us—”

They—No, she took off her mask, as she spoke up with a dignified voice.

“—Begin this battle.”

What appeared from behind the mask were glossy black twintails. After revealing her face, the girl slightly bowed, and proudly announced her name.

“Apologies for the late introduction, but I am the representative of today’s [Shining Star Subaru-sama] meeting, and a second-year here at Private Rouran Academy—Suzutsuki Kanade.”

×

“Are you shitting me!?”

……Careless as I was, I just screamed these words at the top of my lungs, directly at Suzutsuki on stage…I mean, can you blame me? Why is she here? Not to mention as the founder and leader of [S4]? What kind of a betrayal is this? I feel like I’m dancing the polka right now with Oda Nobunaga and Caesar. The people who’ll stab us in the back are Mitsuhide, Brutus, and Suzutsuki Kanade.

“Idiot, why’d you scream like that…!” I heard Konoe’s panicked voice, but it was already too late.

“Eh? Was that…”

“That voice just now…”

I started hearing faint muttering around me, together with people suddenly leaping at me and Konoe…Ah, stop! If you do that…! Without giving me any chance to defend myself, the hood and robe were pulled off me. A moment of silence followed, gazes gathering on us, when—

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”

Screams like a volcano erupting filled the gym hall. Looking next to me, I saw Subaru-sama with her face and body revealed…Oh lord, they found us out.

“Kyaaaaaa! Why is Subaru-sama here!?”

“Not to mention that he’s wearing a china dressss!?”

“Subaru-sama! Hug me! Please hug me!”

With the sudden appearance of this school’s prince, the hall suddenly changed into something resembling the live show of M* JAPAN. However, at the same time as they were ecstatic, there were also those…

“That damn four-eyed bastard!”

“Coming here so I can kill him in person, he sure has guts!”

“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!”

It felt like I was standing in the center of the antique Roman colosseum. Of course, nobody was cheering for me, they just wanted to see me get brutally murdered. You wouldn’t even get such feedback if you insulted popular Korean idols on the internet. In the truest sense of the word, the atmosphere changed drastically. Whereas previously calmness and silence reigned, now it was exchanged with excitement, passion—as well as madness. In the distance, I saw the [S4] members crossing the borderline to come rushing towards us.

Damn it, I messed up…I’ll be killed. I’ll lose my life before the actual event begins.

“…Calm down.” A dignified voice spoke up.

It was Suzutsuki. Just because of her order, all members present stopped moving entirely.

“Everyone, let us end our endless fight here today.” She declared, and smiled gently. “We have prepared today’s event to put a final end to our ongoing battle. That being said, possibly because my efforts were lacking as of late, the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] have been clashing more and more recently. The reason I created [S4] was simply for there to be no fighting between the fans of my dear butler.” She explained with a somewhat apologetic voice, and continued. “Ever since Subaru enrolled at this school, many fanclubs have formed, and countless bouts have resulted from this, creating a Warring Fanclubs era. For my butler’s sake, you all were fighting. I wanted to stop these needless fighting by establishing [S4]. So please, don’t make my wish end up in vain.”

Konoe listened to Suzutsuki’s words, and muttered a quiet ‘Young lady…’ in response. Judging from that, it seems like Konoe didn’t know about her being [S4]’s leader. I bet she probably tried to be considerate, and thus hid it from her. I mean, what she’s saying does make sense. She openly admitted that she deeply loved her own butler after all.

That’s why she formed her own fanclub, so that no more needless fighting would occur—No, we’re talking about that rich lady. She must have created [S4] in order to control all of the students, and not cause us any trouble. However…

“That’s why, everyone, let the winner of this event decide everything.” She declared with a gentle expression. “That is our goal for today. Depending on the result, I don’t mind whatever happens to the present Sakamachi-kun.” She looked over towards me.

That Devil Suzutsuki…As expected, she has no plans to actually help me out here. She probably enjoys seeing me cornered. Telling me to find my way out of this myself…

“Hah.”

Fight’s on, wench. I’ll make it out of here alive. Don’t think everything will always work out for you.

“…Subaru. What will you do? Are you really fine being on that side?” Suzutsuki asked with a speaker in hand.

After thinking about it for a moment, Konoe answered with a resolute ‘Yes’.

“I am your butler, young lady. However, the reason this fight happened is because of me. Then, I will choose that method that will keep people unhurt. No, let me choose that.” She announced with a determined tone.

Hearing this, Suzutsuki nodded along.

“Then, let us begin this great war with Subaru and Sakamachi-kun on the line—I name it the [First Subaru-sama Cult Quiz Contest].”

Together with this declaration, the entire gym hall screamed and cheered like never before.

“Cult quiz contest?”

As everybody else screamed in excitement, Nakuru’s confused voice still clearly reached my ears.

“Yes, that is the identity of today’s competition. You will answer questions regarding Subaru, and the one who scores more points will bring the win to their squad.”

“…So that’s what these buttons were for.”

Just like I guessed, they planned this as some messed up TV show, and whoever presses first has the right to answer.

“However, this situation is not very convenient.”

“Why? We have Konoe on our side.”

Since these questions will be about Konoe herself, she should be able to answer them easily, right?

“Yes. However, that only brings us to equal grounds. After all, we had a regular Subaru-sama fanclub meeting, called the ‘Subaru-sama Cult Exam’.”

“……”

What kind of exam is that? Do you get a Subaru-sama Rank or something?

“Judging from the results of this exam, Nakuru’s group ended up losing. That’s why, we’re only on equal ground now with Subaru-sama at our side.” Nakuru explained, and added. “By the way, Usami-senpai ranked very high when it came to that exam.”

I see. So basically, at this stage, both teams could fall.

“Hmpf, no problem at all. This quiz is about me, right? There’s no way I wouldn’t be able to answer those questions.” Konoe spoke, brimming with confidence.

Not to mention that I’m in there as well. I’ve been with Konoe ever since this April, and spend more time with her than the average student. If so, then we can win…

“Then, let us begin the quiz.” Suzutsuki announced over the speaker.

Alright, the first question should be easy…

“Question 1: What bread did Subaru buy at the school store on the Tuesday two weeks ago.”

“Like hell I know that?!” I screamed in rage.

What kind of cult is this!? Even Konoe faltered, frantically trying to remember as she bit her lip. Of course, I don’t even remember what I ate two days ago…

“Yes! A hot dog bun, a chocolate cone, melon bread, and an egg sandwich!” Nakuru pressed the button at lightning speed, and answered.

“Correct.” Suzutsuki answered, and…Wait, she was right!?

“Eh? Why are you so shocked? Well, it is surprising to see Subaru-sama eat so much with such a small body, but…”

“No no no no! That’s not why I’m shocked!”

“Then, why? That was an easy question just now.”

“Easy!?”

“Yes. Every fanclub member could answer that question.” Nakuru answered like it was nothing.

The people around us also commented with things like ‘Ahh, I was so nervous, I was too late’ or ‘Thank god it was an easy question in the beginning, right’…Yeah, no. These guys are nuts. They are bat-shit crazy. You’re no fans anymore, you’re stalkers.

“Next question.” Suzutsuki continued without much hesitation.

Damn it, I bet there’s going to be a question even I can answer…!

“Question 2: The juice that Subaru drank yesterday in the classroom…”

Ohhh! That’s much easier! After all, we’re classmates. I feel like it was some afternoon tea…

“…what is the profile of the company worker who is supplying and filling the vending machines at this school?”

“That ain’t even got anything to do with Subaru god dang it!” I screamed in rage once again.

However, this time the buzzer of the [S4] party rang out, and someone screamed.

“Yes! That’s Carlos Uehara! He is a Brazilian man who left his family back in his country to earn money here!”

And look at that, it was correct again. Seriously!? Why do you know about that?! Is Carlos’ information public or something?! As I was left baffled, the girl who answered the question correctly showed a confident grin.

“Alright, it’s time to take back Subaru-sama!”

“I bet he must have been threatened by that four-eyes!”

“Steal him back! Return our god!”

They are intent on nailing me to the cross like I was Jesus. It seems like those girls from the [S4] are under the false impression that Konoe is being deceived by me or something like that. I guess I really have to win this battle. Otherwise, my head will fly…!

“Urk…!”

However, Suzutsuki’s questions were no joke. They reached from a teacher’s dark past, like ‘How much money did Subaru’s English teacher pay for their teacher’s license?’ to social construct questions like ‘Subaru is thinking that this country’s financial situation is going down the drain. What are possible methods to restructure the economy?’ that made no sense in this context. All of these questions sounded way too ridiculous, but Konoe’s fans answered each and every one of them correctly.

I was looking down on you too much, Subaru-sama Fanclub. To think you were such a twisted organization…

“D-Damn it…Even though this is about me, I can’t even answer one question…” Konoe started tearing up, and grit her teeth in frustration.

Yeah, calm down, Konoe. Seeing you this frustrated is actually pretty cute, but half of this isn’t even about you anymore.

“Don’t worry, we’ve been answering questions at a good pace. Nakuru and the others are working hard, so we should be about equal right now. Since there’s a quality prize on the line, everyone is motivated like never before.” Nakuru showed us a comforting expression, after having answered several questions herself.

It seems like the people answering the questions aren’t being shown just how many points each team has, or how many points a solved question gets. They will probably reveal it all at the very end. Feels like Red and W*ite singing contest on the NHK.

“50:50…so we both have chances to win.”

Thinking like that, I’ve managed to calm down a bit. Really, I wonder what kind of punishment will await me. I heard that it’s something like ‘People who laid their hands on Subaru-sama will be burned at stake like during the witch trials’, huh. I thought it was just some dark joke, but I guess not.

“Everyone, great work making it this far. It is time for the final question.”

“!”

With Suzutsuki’s voice, I returned back to my senses. The final question, which will decide this contest. Alright, we definitely have to take this one home…! I gulped audibly, and it seemed like the others felt similar, as the atmosphere tightened up. In the midst of this, Suzutsuki slowly opened her mouth.

“Question 99—Who was Subaru’s partner for his first kiss?”

At that moment, the entire place froze up. Her first kiss? Also, even the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] have grown silent. Of course…everybody except Konoe Subaru.

“Y-Young lady!?” Butler-kun jolted up from her chair with a beet red face, panicking.

She clearly didn’t expect that question to pop up now. But…that reaction. Does she know the answer?

“…Alright, go and answer it, Konoe!” I said with a tone full of determination, to which Konoe’s gaze shot towards me, shocked.

“What are you saying, Jirou! Are you serious!? Do you even know what would happen if I revealed that here!?”

Hmm, now that she says it. After all, the person who stole Subaru-sama’s first will die for sure. That lucky girl will be hated by every single person present—No, possibly by the entire school, cursed and experience any kind of torture you could imagine. But, that doesn’t matter. If we lose here, it’ll be me who’s burning at the stake. It pains me to say it, but that unlucky fellow…no, lucky bastard will have to be sacrificed here…!

“Please, Konoe. It’s a one-time request of mine.”

“Urk…” Konoe blushed furiously, and started tearing up.

I bet she must be embarrassed to broadly name the person who stole her first kiss, especially in such a situation. As a result, Subaru-sama grew silent, whereas everybody else just waited for her answer. I don’t even know how much time passed, when finally—Konoe opened her small, flower petal-like lips.

“……………Jirou.”

Following that, she used her cute index finger to point in my direction.

“………”

……Now hold on. No no no no no, what is she talking about? I tried to open my mouth and protest about this nonsense I was just forced to hear, when—

“Correct. By the way, it happened this year in April at the newly-opened leisure land.”

Before I could say anything, Suzutsuki got the jump on me, and practically made this entire situation explode into a chaotic mess….Huh? Ahaha, how troublesome. I don’t get what’s going on right now.

“That being said, it seemed to have been an accident. Sakamachi-kun was about to drown, so Subaru resorted to mouth-to-mouth respiration.” Not knowing of my internal conflict, Suzutsuki continued with a blank tone.

I mean, I was about to drown, but…didn’t she save me…

“Y-You’re kidding, right? Konoe, Suzutsuki is just talking nonsense again, yeah?” I clung onto my last glimmer of hope, and asked Konoe.

However, she just quietly shook her head.

“…No. What the young lady is saying is all true.” Konoe said, her voice about to cut out from the embarrassment.

—A moment later.

“W-What did you saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!?”

The entire hall screamed what I was feeling inside of me. Immediately after Konoe finished those words, I heard screams and shrieks around me.

“W-What is this about!?”

“Please, more details!”

“Did Subaru-sama’s lips taste like blue hawaii!”

The folks from the [Watch over Committee] immediately surrounded me. Urk, they’re so excited, they completely lost themselves…! They’re like a pack of wolves. Even Nakuru was going crazy, screaming ‘W-W-W-With your glasses!? Were you kissing while you were wearing glasses!?’ right into my ear.

In the midst of these I heard heavy footsteps approaching me. When I turned towards them, I saw everyone from [S4] approaching. They look like they couldn’t care less about this contest anymore. Instead, their eyes were gleaming with intent to kill me, as they crossed the borderline with no hesitation.

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—I’m dead. At this rate, I’ll be slaughtered. The second I judged so, I started running.

“Ah, he’s running!”

“After him! Don’t let him escape!”

“SLAUGHTER HIM SLAUGHTER HIM!”

I heard blood-curdling screams behind my back. Eeeek, this makes me feel like I’m in Spain during the Bull Runs. It is said that in times of imminent lethal danger, the human body can muster up strength beyond what is normally possible. That is exactly what I felt at that moment. Both my legs carried me through the gym hall with speeds I didn’t expect from myself. My single goal in mind was the mastermind behind this situation.

“Oh my, Jirou-kun. What’s wrong? You’re quite energetic today, I see.”

While gasping for air, I jumped up the stage, to which Suzutsuki greeted me with these words, naturally with the microphone away from her. Damn, she really is enjoying this, huh! She thrives off my suffering!

“Hey, do something about this, Suzutsuki!”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Don’t make me spell it out! At this rate, I’ll be killed by these fanatics!”

“Fufu. Why? Because of that question just now, the [Watch over Committee] won with 87 to 62 points, you know?”

“Can’t you see that literally nobody cares about the contest anymore!?”

“It’s fine, I’ll properly cut out any decisive scenes.”

“You can!?”

“Well, the one being cut out will probably be Jirou-kun. Right out of this existence, that is.”

“Am I some TV blooper?!”

“And then, the staff enjoyed the delicious Jirou-kun slices backstage.”

“It’s not funny if that could actually happen, okay!”

Even as we were talking, the members of the [Watch over Committee] and the [S4] were ready to leap up on stage, planning to assault me. What insane pressure this is. Not even housewives preparing for a sale were this hungry for flesh.

“…I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this either.” Suddenly, Suzutsuki apologized with a dejected voice.

Eh? What’s this reaction? Did even that villainess feel something like guilt now?

“But, you know, when I get too happy, I tend to just do it.”

“What kind of logic is that!?”

“I figured that if I revealed the fact about the kiss here, it’d definitely end up interesting.”

“For you, yeah!”

“When I saw you and Subaru come here, I immediately thought ‘Ahh, I can definitely make this interesting’, and got all excited.”

“Nothing interesting happened! You made it happen!”

“Fufu, you’re right.” Suzutsuki showed an enjoyable smile. “You know…I’m the type of person who loves to tease the person I—” She explained, sounding faintly embarrassed.

What’s that about? I couldn’t pick up her words towards the end because she suddenly started whispering.

“…Damn it.”

…I can’t anymore. This is all that damn wench’s fault. Shit, how can she be the idol of this school? She might have the looks, but look at what she’s hiding beneath that. I hear she often gets confessed to, but if they all knew about her real personality…

“—!”

There, it felt like a shock ran through my body. If this was a manga, then you’d see a lightbulb pop up above my head. Being chased around all the time might have led me to become crazy. I came up with a solution, a method to break out of this rotten situation.

“…!”

However, that would require a lot of determination. After all, this will be the first time for me, and although this is simply to protect my own life, I will have to lie to Suzutsuki—No, to every person currently present. If I’m going to do it, then I need to go all the way.

“—Suzutsuki, lend me your mic.” I asked Suzutsuki.

“?” She tilted her head in confusion, but listened to my request.

Alright, the rest just relies on my guts. Standing in front of me were the countless fanclub members, ready to leap at me. With as loud of a voice as I could manage, I screamed.

“Everyone, listen to me!”

My voice resounded from the speakers. Wow, I really feel like singing now. If I screamed ‘Listen to my voice!’, they might actually just jump up here. However, probably shocked by my desperate attempt, the pack stopped moving. This is my chance. Can’t let this escape…!

“Let me say one thing! This entire event happened because you all think that me and Konoe are dating, right!? But, that’s actually not it! Konoe and I are definitely not a couple!”

My voice must have reached them, as several people in the audience looked at me in confusion, bewilderment filling their rows. This slowly changed into confirmation, and nobody dared to move closer to the stage. Instead, they were all just waiting for my next words, so I tightly grasped the microphone.

“That’s right, Konoe and I aren’t dating. We’re simple friends. The person I really like…” I took a deep breath, and formed the words in my head as smoothly as possible. “The one I truly like…is this very Suzutsuki Kanadeeeeee!”

×

Because of this unexpected event, the pack started to grow noisy.

“Eh? That just now, was that…”

“D-Don’t tell me…a confession?”

“Kyaaaa! In front of so many people…!”

Shrieks of excitement and voices of disbelief villed the gym hall. Alright, just as I planned. You’re right, this is a confession. My one and only way of making it out of this situation alive. As you know, Suzutsuki is popular. She even got a love letter before, and she rejected as many guys as there are stars in the sky, and every single boy at our school admires her.

That’s why, confessing to her wouldn’t be anything weird at all. I’m your average guy who got closer to Konoe with the goal of approaching Suzutsuki in the process. Conveniently enough, the rumour about me dating Usami hasn’t gone around at all. It’s all just nonsense so that I can make it out of this place.

At the very least, their consciousness of me dating Konoe should be gone. It’ll probably cause a big ruckus that I was her first kiss, but worrying about that comes later. After all, from here on out, I will be rejected by Suzutsuki. I knew this from the start. There’s no way Suzutsuki Kanade would have feelings for me. Then, nothing out of the ordinary should happen even if I confessed. Confessing to her here, I will just get rejected. With that impact, I’ll make them all forget! All I need is for Suzutsuki to reject me…

“………” Oddly enough, Suzutsuki seemed a bit frozen stiff in shock.

However, she apparently figured out something right after, as she stole the mic back from me.

“Thank you, Sakamachi-kun.” She gently smiled.

Hm? Weird, that’s not the reaction I expected. I seriously think I’m wrong, but…she’s not going to say yes, is she…?

“But, I’m sorry.” However, she immediately went back on her own word. “If you confess to me like this, in such a place, then I can’t go out with you.”

“!”

T-This woman, she must have figured out what I was planning. Well, normally I’d be annoyed by that, but today I feel nothing but gratitude. As long as she just rejects my confession…

“Not to mention.” Suzutsuki continued in a sharp voice, like she was going to betray my expectations. “I do think you are a good person. But, I’m sure that this is just in the sense of a classmate, and nothing more. Put frankly, you stop at being a good person.”

“!?” It felt like I was forced to hear words a man should never have to hear.

…Um, Suzutsuki-san? It’s fine, okay. You already rejected me, so insulting me like this won’t benefit any of us.

“Ah, I’m sorry. You are such a good person, so why do I have to reject you…Even though you are such a kind person.”

Stab.

“It’s a shame. As a friend, you are wonderful. But, going beyond that, and becoming my lover is…you know?”

Stab, stab.

“That’s why, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But, Sakamachi-kun, let me say this at the very end. You can’t always stay as a good person. If you’re troubled, then come seek me out, I’ll always support you. After all, you’re a good person.” Suzutsuki said, and showed me a gentle smile.

……Weird. Why do I feel so sad now? I don’t know why, but before I realized it, I sank down on the ground. A good person…For some reason, these words stabbed right into my chest.

“Um…if you’d like, then buy something to eat later.”

I don’t know if it was [S4] or [Watch over Committee], but some member in the crowd gave me a 500 yen coin. As if that was the trigger, other people around approached me, saying things like ‘You did great out there, champ’, or ‘Keep on living, that’s all we can do’ or ‘Sorry, it was my misunderstanding, so don’t cry’, and so on.

Together with these uplifting comments, I would receive small amounts of donations, gum, chocolate, even Lipovi*an D…and other nice gestures. Even the people who were dead set on slaughtering me now were giving me a pitiful glance…Yeah, just as planned, haha. I was saved, that’s all that matters, so why can’t I stop crying…

“Senpai!”

A familiar voice reached my ears. Looking over, I saw Nakuru.

“You can’t lose! Let’s use this failed love and make you awake to a different interest! Nakuru and the [Watch over Committee] will try to work towards that direction as well!”

“………”

What do you even mean by that? Are you happy that you found new material or something? All because I got rejected by a girl? Ahh, I don’t care. I don’t even have the strength to retort on anything. Either way, with this, the decisive event between the [S4] and [Watch over Committee]—the [First Subaru-sama Cult Quiz Contest] ended with the reconciliation of both groups.

As I hung my head as probably the only loser of the night, the leaders of the two groups, Suzutsuki and Nakuru, were discussing things. Saying that they should work hard in a different direction from now on. So basically, everything was resolved because I was downgraded from Subaru-sama’s lover to being a normal classmate. What a peaceful result, indeed.

…Yeah, with such a single sacrifice, which would be me, a crisis was averted, and peace restored. If I just think of it that way, it doesn’t hurt as bad. After most of the fanclub members left the hall, only Suzutsuki and I were left behind on the stage. Since Konoe wasn’t around, she must be outside giving autographs or something.

“What’s wrong, Jirou-kun? Why so sad? Wasn’t this exactly what you had planned out?” Suzutsuki called out to me with a calm voice as always.

Well, you’re not wrong, but…

“If so, then I think you need to be thankful. I did something so cruel in order to make you gain more sympathy.”

Eat shit and die, you demon! I screamed inside of my heart.

“Hmpf, don’t give me such a scary look. Isn’t it fine? Your life was saved.”

“That is true, but still…” I tried to put strength into my limbs, and stood up.

I can’t be depressed forever. For now, I’ll just forget all the nonsense this girl told me. Though I’ll probably have nightmares about it for a while.

“But…Jirou-kun.” Suzutsuki asked me. “That confession just now…what if I agreed?”

“Huh?”

“If I said yes to your confession, what would you have done?”

“……”

Umm…even if you suddenly ask me that.

“Then I would have just said ‘Sorry, that was a lie’, and apologized. But, I knew that wouldn’t happen. After all, there’s no way you’d agree to my confession.”

“……” Suzutsuki let out a faint sigh.

…Hm? Is it just me, or does she look like she’s in a bad mood?

“Hey, Jirou-kun.” Suddenly, Suzutsuki called out my name, like a kitten asking to be fed. “You know, I am actually pretty angry.”

“Eh?”

“I mean, you did it to protect yourself, but you lied to me in front of so many people. As a boy, you’re one of the worst. I feel truly hurt.”

“Well, that’s…”

I know that I can’t make this an excuse, but still…Did I really hurt her that badly? I didn’t think it would hurt her that badly to be honest…

“That’s why—I will get my revenge now.”

“Excuse me?”

Because of this sudden declaration of war, I was left bewildered, merely waiting for her next words.

“Revenge, as I said. You will be going through the same as I just had to.”

It happened in an instant.

“—!?”

With a bright smile, Suzutsuki suddenly embraced me from the front. And if that wasn’t enough, she spoke with a voice as sweet as hot chocolate—

“—I love you~”

“…!”

Right then, I felt a hot sensation inside my nose.

My nose started bleeding. Without a doubt, this was my gynophobia acting up.

“…Guha!?” A voice escaped my mouth.

It didn’t matter that she was wearing clothes. Even though they were there, I felt Suzutsuki’s softness on my body. On top of that, her sweet words just now. It’s a miracle I managed to stay conscious.

“You….you…!”

Not to mention that Suzutsuki pressed her…two soft and voluptuous certain-kill weapons directly on me! Ahhh, it’s different from Konoe…even Usami! How do I say this…they’re no joke! Suzutsuki…No, Deretsuki-san is deadly!

“Alright, we’re even now.” She said with a teasing tone, and moved away from me.

“……”

…Alright, I decided. I definitely can’t make her angry anymore. Damn Devil Suzutsuki, she’s going to kill me just because I faked a confession like that. Also, her words just now…that’s just not fair. Being so cute isn’t fair.

“Now, let’s go, shall we. The after-festival is about to begin. Since you’re finally free, wouldn’t it be best to enjoy the festival?” Suzutsuki said it like it was nothing special at all.

She really is as much of a calm beauty as always. How can you flip that switch so quickly?

“You’re not wrong. But, there is one thing I was curious about. What would you have done if Subaru and I didn’t participate in the end?” I asked, while wiping away the blood with a tissue.

The fact that we came here should have been a mere coincidence. If not for Usami, I wouldn’t have known about this…

“Ahh, no worries about that.” Suzutsuki calmly responded. “After all, today’s event was a fixed game.”

“…What?”

“It was all decided. Loser, winner, participants, everything. A certain girl from the [S4], who is exceptionally good at the quizzes, quit.”

“A girl who is good at the quizzes?”

“Indeed. I received a direct message, saying that she wanted to quit. Saying that ‘I never had any interest in this event in the first place’. She might be a bit problematic, but possessed a lot of battle strength, which is why our loss was decided the second she left. Then again, I didn’t tell the other members.”

“…Suzutsuki, what’s that girl’s name?”

I just suddenly felt the urge to ask that. No, I was forced to ask that by my instincts.

“…? What are you talking about? You should know her more than anybody else, right?” Suzutsuki seemed slightly confused, and continued. “—It’s Usami. The girl who quit was Usami Masamune. Isn’t she your girlfriend?”