Mayo Chiki!

Summer Finale

The 31st of August has arrived, and for all high school students in this country, this day has a very special meaning. Indeed, this is the last day of summer break, the final stretch before school restarts. I’m sure we all have different ways to spend it. There’s normies who reminisce about all the normie events they enjoyed, as well as those who curse normies as they hold a race against time in order to finish their summer homework.

If you were to ask me which faction I belong to, it’d definitely be the latter. I already finished my summer homework, but my current excitement is reaching an Armageddon level of danger for my psyche, and I genuinely feel like I wouldn’t mind if the world ended now. I mean, it’s not like this summer break wasn’t fun or anything. I even met up with the friends from my class here and there, and got to enjoy a live concert from the band I like.

However, some events completely overwrote all of that. I mean, the whole elopement trip was far better than being forced through hellish training by Mom, and definitely was exciting, that’s for sure. However, the sheer amount of trouble these past four days sure is no joke. From the 27th to the 30th, I would run into various events with Suzutsuki, Kureha, Nakuru, and Masamune. It made me feel like I was some galge protagonist who constantly run into girls along the way.

That’s why I decided. Today, the 31st of August, will be a day I spend in solitude, without anybody else around. There’s times where you want to be alone, and that day is today. Luckily enough, the little monster of this family, Kureha, was currently out. Apparently they’re having some last-spurt homework sleepover party at a friend’s house or something.

What great timing, truly. If this was a normal family, the father might worry about ‘Maybe she’s actually staying over at her boyfriend’s house…’ but we are different. Dating Kureha? Who’d be that suicidal? Even Ja*k Bauer1 wouldn’t do that. That being the case, it’s just me at home right now.

It’s honestly not bad. These past few days were just way too noisy. Of course, the same will happen once the second-term starts, so I want at least a break for a single day. But of course, as I was thinking that, at around 1.15pm in the afternoon.

“M-Morning, Jirou.”

Upon answering the doorbell and opening the door, I was greeted by this all-too-familiar alto voice. Standing there was a handsome boy, properly wearing a butler’s attire even amidst this unbearable heat. I was looking at my favorite cross-dressing female butler, and her familiar glittering bright hair, and her facial features and physique looking as if they had been created by hand—Konoe Subaru.

Right when I opened the door, she gave me an awkward greeting…Alright, what kind of situation is this? I have a horrible feeling about this. It’s like I’m exploring a jungle only to run into a wild tiger. Well, I actually ran into a wild butler in this concrete jungle, so close enough. Also, why am I such an idiot. Why did I go and even open this door, right after deciding I’d keep myself locked up in my room.

“Yo, what’s up? Didn’t expect you.”

Ignoring her of course would not be a good option either, so I at least greeted her back. However, Konoe for some reason averted her gaze. Hmmm, she really has been acting off as of late. She always had a somewhat cold and sour expression, but this is different than before. It feels more awkward.

“…I-I actually wanted to ask you a favor, Jirou.” Konoe said so, after finally looking me in the eyes again.

And then, she grabbed the hem of her own uniform, looking uncertain about something.

“—Can we cook together?”

These were the words following, leaving me baffled.

“For now, this should be all the ingredients we need.”

I put down all the food we just bought at the nearby supermarket, and put the plastic bag on the kitchen floor. Konoe’s request was for me to help with her cooking. Apparently, she really wants to treat her master Suzutsuki to some good flipping food for everything Suzutsuki has done for her, which is why she wanted to make food at my place, and then call Suzutsuki over for dinner.

“But, why’d you ask me?” I asked, while putting on an apron.

Honestly speaking, I don’t have much cooking experience either, except the base minimum.

“I figured that someone helping me would be better in the long run.”

“I mean, I get that. Just wondering why you didn’t just ask one of the servants living at your residence.”

Our kitchen here isn’t even anything special. No matter how I think about it, if one wants quality guaranteed, asking for help in their residence is most efficient.

“T-That’s…”

For some reason, Konoe showed a somewhat dejected reaction. And with her head hanging low, she continued.

“…I can’t make anything.”

“What?”

“I mean…at the residence, they’re making the food for me. So, I could only come to your place…”

“……”

Ahh, I remember. She’s horrendously bad at cooking despite being a butler.

“Wha…d-don’t give me such a condescending look! I was just prohibited from entering the kitchen for a while!”

“I’m glad to hear it’s not a forever ban.”

“~~~! Everyone is looking down on me and my cooking…!” Konoe pouted like a child.

I mean, that’s about to be expected with Konoe’s well-known detrimental cooking sense. After all, when she made rice porridge before, she pretty much ruined my taste buds single-handedly. Also, prohibiting entrance to the kitchen, just how much did she mess up for that to happen?

“Don’t worry, we’ll make something good.” I smiled and reassured Konoe.

I’m not the one eating it this time either, it’ll be Suzutsuki. Though, I will have to send her some stomach medicine later.

“…Yeah, I’m sure. As long as we do it carefully and taste it as we go along, it’ll be delicious, I bet.”

“Y-Yeah, right.”

Let me retract that statement, I might have to get some stomach medicine myself. If I’m not careful, today might not only be the last day of summer break, but also of my entire life.

“But, are you sure?” Konoe took out the ingredients from the plastic bag while asking. “Should we really be making curry?”

“Hm? What’s so bad about it? Curry is perfect during summer, right?”

Or was that some advertisement stick?

“I mean, since we’re making something for the young lady, I wish it’d be a bit more…noble.”

“Noble?”

“Something like Peking duck.”

“……”

She’s really throwing requests now, huh. That’s not something you could make at a commoner’s house like mine.

“Also, maybe butter-roasted foie gras.”

“Sorry, Konoe, the best I can offer you is curry.”

“Wha…what are you saying! Can’t it be a bit more…luxurious?”

“Fine white noodles?”

“It’s turning even more simple!?”

“Shaved ice?”

“Are you making fun of me!?” Konoe pouted, adding. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

Waaah, I took it too far. She might destroy my kitchen if things continue.

“I-It’s fine, curry is a popular dish with everybody.”

“Hm…”

“By the way, I love curry.”

“R-Really? Oh yeah, I think the young lady said she enjoyed it herself…”

“Right? I’m telling you, it’s a good choice.”

“…Hm, I see. Curry might be the safest choice.”

“Right, and that’s the best for us.” I said, and secretly sighed to myself.

I somehow managed to calm her down. I’m glad Suzutsuki likes curry. But, that’s actually pretty surprising…and a bit cute if you ask me.

“Yeah, curry isn’t half bad. Today’s favorite is her chicken curry after all.”

“………”

I would like to protest against that. I mean, chicken curry? Because of my own disposition, the second I hear the word chicken, I tense up. Even more so since we were talking about Suzutsuki.

“The young lady also absolutely adores roasted chicken, fried chicken with vinegar and tartar sauce, teriyaki chicken…”

“I feel like I’m starting to see a pattern here…”

“Hm, not at all. She also likes food with no chicken in it.”

“For example?”

“Chi*ken ramen.”

“I mean, that’s ramen, but still!”

If memory serves me right, they did use chicken for the soup. Also, a rich lady is eating ramen? Color me surprised.

“Jirou, let’s start.”

As I was lost in thought, Butler-kun pulled me back to reality. With that, our cooking show started. Konoe still isn’t wearing her apron. Apparently she wanted to wear her butler uniform while cooking. Not like I care though.

“Then, you start washing the rice. I’ll cut the meat and vegetables.” I said while washing the vegetables first.

As a reminder, there’s a specific reason why Konoe is bad at cooking, which is her phobia of knives. Just by looking at blades, let alone touching them, she starts tensing up. That’s why cutting will be my duty. Team play is important.

“R-Right. Thanks, Jirou.” Konoe must have caught on to my considerate thinking, and thanked me.

Hm? For some reason, her cheeks turned into a faint red then and there. Or, is that just my imagination?

“Konoe, your face is red. Are you not feeling well?”

“!?”

Hearing my words, Konoe covered her face with both her hands, and started blushing even further.

“Ah…well…this is…I actually have a bit of a fever.”

“A fever? A summer cold?”

“Y-Yeah, I’ve been feeling a bit sick as of late…Ah, I’m not lying okay!”

I don’t know why, but she sure turned pushy towards the end there. Well, a summer cold generally sticks with you for a while. That might be the reason why she’s been acting off as of late.

“You can take a rest if you want.”

“I-I’m fine! Well, not really, but I can at least cook!” Konoe said, and made her way to the rice cooker.

She’s fine but not fine? What’s that even supposed to mean? I mean, as long as she doesn’t collapse on me, it’s fine.

“But, Jirou, aren’t you pretty good at cooking?”

“Why’d you think that?”

“I mean, you were working part-time at that maid cafe yesterday, right.”

“Well, you’re not wrong…”

But, the best thing I did there was wash plates. I was a useless pinch hitter, you can say.

“…Not to mention you were working there together with Usami.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with cooking to my knowledge?”

“You’re not wrong, but…Oh yeah, why were you even working with her?”

“Hm? Suzutsuki never told you? Masamune gave me her homework to copy, so I helped at her part-time job.”

“Homework?”

“Yup, the summer homework.”

“I could have shown you as well…” Subaru-sama mumbled quietly.

Seriously? I figured she’d be all serious and diligent about it, which is why I chose to ask Masamune instead. Maybe I could have saved myself the work and asked Konoe instead from the very beginning.

“By the way, when is Kureha-chan coming home? She went to a friend’s place today, right?” Konoe suddenly changed the topic.

Oh yeah, I briefly mentioned it while we were shopping at the supermarket.

“I forgot to tell you, but she isn’t coming home today.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Apparently a friend of hers is throwing a sleepover party, so until you call Suzutsuki over, it’ll be just the two of us.”

Right as I finished my sentence, Konoe crushed the rice in her hand with her palm. Following that, she started shaking, stuttering over her own words.

“J-Just the two of us…Seriously?”

“Yup, she’ll be gone all day. Also, I think it’d be better if you carefully washed the rice instead.”

I mean, there’s no need to treat your rice like the person who killed your parents. You’ll totally mess it up, in more than one way.

“Is your cold getting worse?”

“…! N-No, of course not. See, I am properly washing the rice. Uhh, next is…”

“!? Hold on! You don’t need to use detergent when washing the rice!” I frantically stopped Konoe’s hand, which was reaching for the detergent near the sink.

That was dangerous, she almost ruined the rice. Also, I think her cold really is getting worse, her face is getting more red by the second.

“Okay, I’m done over here.”

I finished cutting the meat and vegetables. It’s not my best job, but it should do just fine. That makes it a bit more wild, and delicious anyway, I bet.

“…Apologies, Jirou. If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to make anything.”

“Don’t sweat it. We’re friends…best friends after all.”

“Y-Yeah…”

For some reason, Konoe lowered her head and grew silent. Hey now, why are you suddenly feeling down because of that? That’s what you wanted us to be, right? Maybe she’s just not used to it yet?

“……”

Alright, it’s a bit embarrassing, but I should probably really emphasize us being best friends here. That should leave her at ease, I bet. So, for starters…

“—Konoe.”

“Hm? What’s up, Jirou.”

“We…are best friends.”

“Urk…Yeah, we are…”

“I’m sure that this relationship won’t change, no matter what may happen.”

“Ugh…”

“That’s right, we’ll always be…best friends.”

“………”

“I firmly believe that friendship is possible between a man and a woman.”

“……”

“That’s why we’ll always stay—”

“…Jirou, I get it already. I get it, so stop.” Konoe complained, as a dark aura started to grow behind her back.

W-What? Why do you look so shocked? Maybe it’s because I was saying some cringey stuff? I think I tried my best, considering how embarrassing it sounded…However, the gloomy atmosphere in the kitchen did not disappear. We only exchanged the bare minimum of words, as we worked on the food. With the rice in the rice cooker, all we could do was wait.

At the same time, I put the chicken meat, carrots, and the onions into a pot, boiling it with water. All that’s left is to lower the temperature once it starts seething, and putting in the potatoes. Finishing touches will be adding the curry powder we bought beforehand. There’s not many things to mess up here.

I mean, it would totally be doable if Konoe dropped an entire bottle of salad dressing into the pot, or added the vodka we had in the kitchen to roast the meat instead, but that’s about it. Then again, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened yet. Things are going fairly smoothly right now. All we had to do was wait now…

“…Jirou.”

However, as expected, my anxiety proved to be right.

“Do you have something like a subtle seasoning we could add?”

Right as I wanted to add the powder, Konoe blurted out something like that.

“Subtle seasoning?”

“Yeah, like a secret ingredient. Right now, it’s just plain old curry. If the young lady is going to eat it, I want it to be special, our one of a kind.”

“……”

I sense great danger in the force. If my experience serves as enough of a danger indicator, then this could turn out fatal.

“L-Let’s not. It’s going well so far, I wouldn’t want to ruin it.”

“Don’t say that. Since everything is working out, we should aim for something even better, don’t you agree?” Her eyes were sparkling like a puppy’s chasing after a soccer ball.

Following that, she started rummaging through the kitchen in an attempt to find anything worthwhile. Please, don’t ruin this now. What did we even have in our kitchen? We already ate all the apples, and Kureha’s been on a tomato boom lately, so they pretty much are part of every meal recently. Also, anything that Mom brought with her from her trips…

“…Ohh, what about this?”

There, Konoe took out a bottle filled with liquid from a shelf inside the kitchen. Ah, that’s…

“Looks like wine.”

“Wine?”

“Yup, red wine. Can I open it?”

“Eh? Well, probably…”

…Wait, I remember! That’s old wine Mom brought with her to enjoy! Not good, I’m looking at Pandora’s box right now. If she opened that now, Mom would definitely give me more than just an earful—

“Alright, I opened it.”

“Gyaaaaaah!”

It was too late. Konoe had already removed the cork, leaving the bottle open and a faint scent drifted from the opening.

“W-What’s wrong? Should I…not have opened it?”

“Well…I think that’s a wine bottle Mom really treasured…”

Wasn’t it pretty expensive? The label says…Mm, can’t read it. Can’t even make out what language this is.

“Urk…M-My apologies…I didn’t know it was something so precious.” Konoe lowered her head, sniffing like a puppy left in the rain.

My reaction must have been a shock for her, as she started tearing up a bit.

“……!”

…Damn it. What’s this. Please, don’t look at me like you’re about to cry.

“…It’s fine.” I called out to her with as gentle of a voice as possible. “What’s happened has happened. If I properly explain things, Mom will surely understand.”

“R-Really…?”

“Yeah.” I showed as best and reassuring a smile as possible.

In reality, I have no idea. She might force me through some rigorous and hellish training again as a penalty, but that’s something I’m used to already. Not to mention that Konoe didn’t have any bad intentions about this. Can’t stand a girl looking like she’s about to cry.

“T-Then, will you forgive me?”

“Of course. I’m not angry or anything, and I’m also to blame for what happened.”

“You…don’t hate me now…?”

“Of course I don’t. What are you talking about?”

Out of a whim, I placed my palm on Konoe’s head, gently caressing it.

“…Mm.” There, Konoe finally looked at me again.

On my palm, I felt her soft and glossy hair. She looked up at me, like she was expecting something.

“Ah, sorry, I just…” I moved my hand away again.

Since I only touched her for a brief moment, my gynophobia thankfully didn’t activate.

“No, I didn’t really…”

Konoe was about to say something, only to lower her head again. Her expression now was different from before, embarrassed. And now, silence reigned.

“……”

Crap, why did things turn so awkward now.

“S-So, what about that subtle seasoning you talked about? I think using wine should be fine.” I forcefully changed the topic.

I heard that people sometimes add wine into their curry, or even beef stew, so it should be fine.

“But, the problem is the age of the wine. It’s been back there for quite some time, I think.”

While shaking the red liquid inside the glass bottle, Konoe let out a suggestive ‘Hmm’. Following a few seconds of thinking…

“—Alright, let me have a taste.”

“Huh? Don’t do that, we’re still minors.”

“It’s fine, it’ll just be a small sip.” Konoe nonchalantly said, and poured some of the red liquid into a glass.

Will she be fine? I have some faint memories resurfacing in the back of my head, namely about Nakuru during the summer festival battle royale. Not that Konoe was stripped naked or anything, but it created a bit of a trauma to see people drunk.

“Nn.” After a bit of hesitation, Konoe took a sip of the wine. “…Yep, no problem with the taste.” Konoe tasted the wine like a cat sipping up milk.

If that’s the case, then you can stop taking sips already. You’re taking more than just a sip.

“Hey, that’s enough don’t you think?”

“Mm, what are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah, definitely. If anything, my body feels all warm and fuzzy now.”

“………”

Yeah, this is bad. The alcohol is doing its job. She’s slowly starting to sound sloppy.

“Alright, you got a taste, so let’s put the wine away for now.”

“Ah, what are you doing…!”

I took the wine bottle away from Konoe, who raised a voice of protest, and tried to take back the bottle of wine. However, the difference in height between us made it impossible. I feel like a father who forcefully took his daughter’s toy.

“Give it back! Give me back that bottle!”

“Hell no! You’re clearly getting drunk!”

“That…that’s not true at all. Just…”

“Just?”

“It felt like I won’t be able to live on without that.”

“Alright, I’m sending you to Alcoholics Anonymous preemptively!”

To think wine would work this easily on her! It made Subaru-sama its captive!

“Hmpf. No need to doubt me, I’m not drunk at all.”

“The moment you said that, you pretty much confirmed that you’re drunk.”

“What are you talking about? Then, ask me any kind of question, I’ll give you the right answer and prove it to you.”

“………What happened in 1192?”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Japan sunk.”

“What kind of world are you talking about?!”

Ahhh, she’s done for if this continues. I need her to get sober again quickly.

“K-Konoe, let’s drink something cold instead of the wine, what do you think?”

Best would probably be some barley tea to freshen her up. With that thought in mind, I opened up the door of the fridge, but luck was not on my side, as we were out of barley tea. All that’s left is milk, I guess. Well, better than nothing.

“Here, Konoe, drink some milk.” I offered Konoe the pack of milk with one hand.

I just hope she recovers with this…

“…Hmpf.”

However, the second Konoe saw the milk I offered her, the color of her eyes changed. And, she started shaking.

“Don’t joke with meeee.”

“Eh?”

“I’m saying that you better take me seriouslyyyy! A butler like me would never get drunk because of some wineeeee!” She looked like a father flipping over the table. “You and your…stupid milk! I drink it every daaaaay, and even so…”

“Even so?”

“I can’t win against Kana-chan at all…!”

“Huh?”

“~~~! Don’t bully peopleeee! I’ll show you what I do with milkyyy!” Konoe shouted.

She aggressively stole the pack of milk from me, and gulped it down. And after that was done, she took a deep breath.

“Wahaha! How’s that! The evil is goneeee! This is the true power of a butler!” Like a champion that just won the belt, Konoe held the empty pack towards the sky.

I still don’t see how this is related to being a butler, but fine.

“Still, this room is pretty hot. Is the aaaaashhiii working?” Konoe fanned some fresh air to her face.

How luxurious that would be. Sadly, our home’s kitchen doesn’t have such a wonderful function—but before I could even tell her about that.

“H-Hey! What are you doing!?”

“Huhhh? I’m taking off my clothes because it’s hoooooot~”

The tailcoat fell to the ground, the necktie was loosened, and Konoe eventually reached for the belt of her pants…

“Here…we go.” Together with that, her pants flew off too.

Waaaaaaaaaaaah stop it you idiot! She’s doing some messed up strip show in my own home!

“Hm? What’s wrong, Jirou. Why’s your face so reeeeed?”

“!” I reflexively looked away from Konoe.

Even so, the sight of her slender, snow white legs would not leave my mind. Same was for her pale thighs. From her appearance, she resembled Kureha when I last seen her, but her adorable underwear showed from beneath her shirt…it’s not that healthy for my rational thinking. Not to mention that she was wearing high-socks which didn’t help.

“……”

Crap, this irregular combination of long t-shirt and high-socks is dangerous. What a monochrome contrast, and not to forget about the underwear beneath that…

“…!”

D-Damn it, how can she be so cute. Before my reasoning gives in entirely, I need to make her get dressed again…!

“K-Konoe, at least wear your pants, okay?”

“Whyyy?”

“Why are you asking me that…”

“We’re both guys, riiight?”

“You’re a girl, remember!?”

“Heh, don’t underestimate me. I’m a cross-dressing butler.”

“And how does that logic apply here!?”

“…Huh? Jirou, why are you wearing clothes?”

“Because that’s the normal thing to do! Are your values messed up or something!?”

“Why is there so much fighting in this world…”

“Don’t just change the topic to something serious!”

Draw the line when you’re drunk! However, my retorts were met with no reaction, as Konoe raised both her arms into the air, twirling around.

“It’s not that big of a thing to panic about~”

Gyaaaaaaah! Stop it already! I can see it! I can see something peeking out from beneath your shirt!

“…Shit.”

Now that it’s come to this, I have only one option left. In order to avoid even greater damage, I need to put away this wine immediately. Or, I should probably pour it out…

“Jirou, gimme back my wine!”

Seriously.

“No, that milk just now wasn’t nearly enough for meee.”

Waaah, don’t say that. Milk has lots of important calcium, it’s very healthy.

“If you’re not giving it back, then I have to take it by forceeee.” Konoe started blushing, and approached me.

In this narrow kitchen, I had no room to escape to. Basically, she was closing in on me like a predator.

“Give it baaack! Give back the wineeee!”

“…! S-Stop it! Don’t come over here!”

I don’t think even a loan shark would be this assertive. However, because of the difference in height, Konoe is unable to reach the bottle, jumping up and down in front of me. Urk, so persistent…Like a stray cat begging for food.

“Give in, Jirouuuu.” Konoe said while closing in on me. “You can’t escapeee.”

“R-Really? I don’t see you overcoming this height difference between us anytime soon, you know?”

“…Heh, don’t underestimate butlersss.” Suddenly, Konoe showed a deviant grin. “I’ll show you my new certain-kill technique…!”

“New…?”

“That’s right, I call it…’Butler Kosoto Gari’!”

“It’s just another judo skill!” I screamed, but it was too late.

With skilled leg movement, I was robbed off my balance, and fell to the floor. It was a clean point for the opponent.

“…!?”

Right after, all the red liquid inside the bottle was splashed onto my head. The bottle itself didn’t shatter, but the liquid came out nonetheless. Ahh, I feel like a serial killer covered with the blood of my victims.

“…Ah.”

I guess I somehow managed to empty out the bottle like I had planned to, but now Konoe gave me a really disappointed look…Wait a second?

“K-Konoe-san?”

Why is she sitting on top of me?

“……What a waste…”

“Eh?”

What do you mean by that?—I wanted to ask, but wasn’t allowed to.

“…Mm.”

Almost as if she wanted to restrain me, Konoe pressed her body on me further. My sight was now filled by her, and her approaching facial features. Even her flowery scent tickled my nose. We both looked each other in the eyes, when she suddenly moved her face closer to my neck, drenched with wine.

“…Nn.”

There, she licked up the wine with her small red tongue.

“~~~! Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“I mean…it’d be such a waste.”

“That doesn’t mean you should just directly lick it off meeeeee!?”

She was like a kitten, carefully licking up the milk from its container. Using her small tongue, Konoe tried to gulp up every small drop she could find on my neck. As a result of that, every touch of her tongue sent shivers down my spine. Because she was still drunk, her body felt warm, and her tongue even more so. It made my entire body feel like it was on fire. Following my neck was my collarbone.

“Nn…Mmm…” Konoe let out adorable voices with every lick, aiming directly for the small drops of red wine on my body.

“……!”

This is bad. I felt goosebumps all over my body, and a warm sensation gathering at the tip of my nose. My gynophobia is getting close to activating. I expected this of course, considering how closely Konoe was clinging to me. Not to mention the soft sensation of her tongue. I’ve never experienced this before.

“Mm…Delicious…More…I want more…” Konoe had evolved from a small kitten into a vampire.

I grew worried that she might bite into my skin any second. However, she left it to only licking up the red liquid, audibly gulping it down.

“Guh…”

B-Big emergency, Captain! Even if she’s drunk, I didn’t expect the cold and sour Subaru-sama to do such a thing. Not forgetting about her current appearance that would normally be unthinkable. Ahh, so much stimulation…!

“K-Konoe, step it…”

I used my last ounce of strength to try and reason with her.

“Come on…we’re best friends, right?”

“…Hmpf.”

“I think of you as the best possible friend.”

“~~~!”

“That’s why…just stop this already. You want to stay best friends with me, right? Then, in order to not make things awkward and break that relationship, can’t you just move away from…Ouch!?”

Suddenly, Konoe faintly bit into my skin with her sharp teeth. But, it was a soft bite, almost meant to be playful. It felt more like she was trying to protest about something. So she actually turned into a vampire now…I’m starting to feel like beef jerky or squid.

“No…just stop it already.” I pleaded, as my consciousness was starting to drift away.

However…

“…Shut up!” Konoe answered, while still biting into my neck. “This is all your fault for saying these things, Jirou.”

“Wha…these things? About us always being best friends?”

“~~~!”

“I mean, I get that it might be embarrassing, but weren’t you the one who brought it up? Not to mention that I’m embarrassed myself, and I still say that I want to be best friends with you, so why are you…Gyaaaaah!?”

I must have said something she didn’t like, because Konoe started biting again. She used more strength though, which in result heightened the pain, while still licking my skin with her tongue. This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong here. AIl I did was emphasize what she wanted to hear. Is she trying to hide it out of embarrassment? If so, then munch on the crab sticks we have in the fridge.

“…Damn it.”

Either way, I’ll soon pass out because of my gynophobia. Before that happens, I need to get out of this situation…

“…Jirou.”

There, Konoe moved her mouth away from my neck, and looked at me. Her facial features were as beautiful as always, and because of the alcohol, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes looking melted. She’s evidently different from usual. And because of that, I felt something resembling a forbidden charm from her.

“…Jirouuu.”

Worse of all, she called out my name with a sweet voice. Her face reached up to me, close enough for our lips to touch…

“There’s…something I wanna tell you.”

“S-Something you want to tell me?”

“Yeah. That half-baked attempt before wasn’t good enough after allllll.”

She suddenly turned all serious, unbefitting of her previous attitude. Before…what is she talking about?

“Listen, this is very important.” She took a deep breath, fully ignoring my confusion.

And then, as her translucent eyes looked at me, with her flushed face, she slowly formed her next words.

“I…am…your………Mmnnn…”

“…Mmnnn?” I repeated the sound I heard.

Right after, Konoe’s face fell down next to mine, and I heard faint and rhythmic breathing…It seems like she fell asleep.

“…Jeez.” I let out a long sigh.

Either way…I’m saved. I carefully pushed away Konoe’s body, and stood up. Waaah, the ground is covered with wine. I gotta change clothes and clean that up.

“Damnit, this butler.” I muttered, while looking at the sleeping Konoe.

I guess I should carry her to the living room sofa for now.

“Up…we go.” I lifted her body, using a princess carry.

In doing so, I yet again got to admire Konoe’s cute face for a bit. However, I couldn’t afford to take my time, as my gynophobia would be acting up again. I probably have ten seconds at best, considering what I previously went through. I gotta get her to the sofa before I suffer from a nosebleed. I managed to make it in time, thankfully to her being fairly light. Then again, Kureha is even more of a light-weight.

“Mmnn…Nnn…”

She was breathing faintly, but showed no signs of waking up. Oh yeah, she was about to say something back then, right? Well, it was probably something like ‘I am your best friend’, or something like that. Well, guessing about it won’t do me any good.

“Anyway.” I looked away from the butler.

I mean, she’s still not wearing any pants. Leaving her like that would be no good, so I brought the tailcoat from the kitchen, and gently put it over her body, covered by a blanket. I thought of putting her pants on her, but I don’t have the guts to do that, gynophobia and all. I’ll just pray that Konoe actually remembers what happened, otherwise she might get a really bad idea, thinking I attacked her.

“…Phew.”

Anyway, that’s one problem taken care of. Once I change clothes, I’ll probably get a good nap like Konoe…or so I’d like to, but reality isn’t as kind. After all, I have to take care of the curry in the kitchen, otherwise it’ll ruin the food, and the finishing touches are still missing. In reality, a lot of problems were left unclear.

“…Alright.”

Guess it’s time for me to work hard. Konoe and I made this together, so I can’t ruin it. In the end, I’m spending my time mostly alone, huh. In fact, I probably would have been fine just spending the day by myself. Then I wouldn’t have had to suffer through another gynophobia attack, and hadn’t gotten wine splattered on me. I would have been able to regret it through the last day of my summer break. And yet…

“Mmmm…Kana-chan…Jirou…I can’t eat any more curry…” I heard faint muttering from the sofa.

It seems like she was having a blissful dream.

“……”

Well, you know. Today’s the 31st of August. Ending this day with my best friend’s smile isn’t half bad.

“And to keep that smile, I gotta take care of this curry.”

Gotta make this dream she’s having a reality. Muttering these words to myself, I tried my hardest for the sake of a single girl’s smile.

1 Fictional character and protag from the TV series 24

Summer Finale

The 31st of August has arrived, and for all high school students in this country, this day has a very special meaning. Indeed, this is the last day of summer break, the final stretch before school restarts. I’m sure we all have different ways to spend it. There’s normies who reminisce about all the normie events they enjoyed, as well as those who curse normies as they hold a race against time in order to finish their summer homework.

If you were to ask me which faction I belong to, it’d definitely be the latter. I already finished my summer homework, but my current excitement is reaching an Armageddon level of danger for my psyche, and I genuinely feel like I wouldn’t mind if the world ended now. I mean, it’s not like this summer break wasn’t fun or anything. I even met up with the friends from my class here and there, and got to enjoy a live concert from the band I like.

However, some events completely overwrote all of that. I mean, the whole elopement trip was far better than being forced through hellish training by Mom, and definitely was exciting, that’s for sure. However, the sheer amount of trouble these past four days sure is no joke. From the 27th to the 30th, I would run into various events with Suzutsuki, Kureha, Nakuru, and Masamune. It made me feel like I was some galge protagonist who constantly run into girls along the way.

That’s why I decided. Today, the 31st of August, will be a day I spend in solitude, without anybody else around. There’s times where you want to be alone, and that day is today. Luckily enough, the little monster of this family, Kureha, was currently out. Apparently they’re having some last-spurt homework sleepover party at a friend’s house or something.

What great timing, truly. If this was a normal family, the father might worry about ‘Maybe she’s actually staying over at her boyfriend’s house…’ but we are different. Dating Kureha? Who’d be that suicidal? Even Ja*k Bauer1 wouldn’t do that. That being the case, it’s just me at home right now.

It’s honestly not bad. These past few days were just way too noisy. Of course, the same will happen once the second-term starts, so I want at least a break for a single day. But of course, as I was thinking that, at around 1.15pm in the afternoon.

“M-Morning, Jirou.”

Upon answering the doorbell and opening the door, I was greeted by this all-too-familiar alto voice. Standing there was a handsome boy, properly wearing a butler’s attire even amidst this unbearable heat. I was looking at my favorite cross-dressing female butler, and her familiar glittering bright hair, and her facial features and physique looking as if they had been created by hand—Konoe Subaru.

Right when I opened the door, she gave me an awkward greeting…Alright, what kind of situation is this? I have a horrible feeling about this. It’s like I’m exploring a jungle only to run into a wild tiger. Well, I actually ran into a wild butler in this concrete jungle, so close enough. Also, why am I such an idiot. Why did I go and even open this door, right after deciding I’d keep myself locked up in my room.

“Yo, what’s up? Didn’t expect you.”

Ignoring her of course would not be a good option either, so I at least greeted her back. However, Konoe for some reason averted her gaze. Hmmm, she really has been acting off as of late. She always had a somewhat cold and sour expression, but this is different than before. It feels more awkward.

“…I-I actually wanted to ask you a favor, Jirou.” Konoe said so, after finally looking me in the eyes again.

And then, she grabbed the hem of her own uniform, looking uncertain about something.

“—Can we cook together?”

These were the words following, leaving me baffled.

“For now, this should be all the ingredients we need.”

I put down all the food we just bought at the nearby supermarket, and put the plastic bag on the kitchen floor. Konoe’s request was for me to help with her cooking. Apparently, she really wants to treat her master Suzutsuki to some good flipping food for everything Suzutsuki has done for her, which is why she wanted to make food at my place, and then call Suzutsuki over for dinner.

“But, why’d you ask me?” I asked, while putting on an apron.

Honestly speaking, I don’t have much cooking experience either, except the base minimum.

“I figured that someone helping me would be better in the long run.”

“I mean, I get that. Just wondering why you didn’t just ask one of the servants living at your residence.”

Our kitchen here isn’t even anything special. No matter how I think about it, if one wants quality guaranteed, asking for help in their residence is most efficient.

“T-That’s…”

For some reason, Konoe showed a somewhat dejected reaction. And with her head hanging low, she continued.

“…I can’t make anything.”

“What?”

“I mean…at the residence, they’re making the food for me. So, I could only come to your place…”

“……”

Ahh, I remember. She’s horrendously bad at cooking despite being a butler.

“Wha…d-don’t give me such a condescending look! I was just prohibited from entering the kitchen for a while!”

“I’m glad to hear it’s not a forever ban.”

“~~~! Everyone is looking down on me and my cooking…!” Konoe pouted like a child.

I mean, that’s about to be expected with Konoe’s well-known detrimental cooking sense. After all, when she made rice porridge before, she pretty much ruined my taste buds single-handedly. Also, prohibiting entrance to the kitchen, just how much did she mess up for that to happen?

“Don’t worry, we’ll make something good.” I smiled and reassured Konoe.

I’m not the one eating it this time either, it’ll be Suzutsuki. Though, I will have to send her some stomach medicine later.

“…Yeah, I’m sure. As long as we do it carefully and taste it as we go along, it’ll be delicious, I bet.”

“Y-Yeah, right.”

Let me retract that statement, I might have to get some stomach medicine myself. If I’m not careful, today might not only be the last day of summer break, but also of my entire life.

“But, are you sure?” Konoe took out the ingredients from the plastic bag while asking. “Should we really be making curry?”

“Hm? What’s so bad about it? Curry is perfect during summer, right?”

Or was that some advertisement stick?

“I mean, since we’re making something for the young lady, I wish it’d be a bit more…noble.”

“Noble?”

“Something like Peking duck.”

“……”

She’s really throwing requests now, huh. That’s not something you could make at a commoner’s house like mine.

“Also, maybe butter-roasted foie gras.”

“Sorry, Konoe, the best I can offer you is curry.”

“Wha…what are you saying! Can’t it be a bit more…luxurious?”

“Fine white noodles?”

“It’s turning even more simple!?”

“Shaved ice?”

“Are you making fun of me!?” Konoe pouted, adding. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

Waaah, I took it too far. She might destroy my kitchen if things continue.

“I-It’s fine, curry is a popular dish with everybody.”

“Hm…”

“By the way, I love curry.”

“R-Really? Oh yeah, I think the young lady said she enjoyed it herself…”

“Right? I’m telling you, it’s a good choice.”

“…Hm, I see. Curry might be the safest choice.”

“Right, and that’s the best for us.” I said, and secretly sighed to myself.

I somehow managed to calm her down. I’m glad Suzutsuki likes curry. But, that’s actually pretty surprising…and a bit cute if you ask me.

“Yeah, curry isn’t half bad. Today’s favorite is her chicken curry after all.”

“………”

I would like to protest against that. I mean, chicken curry? Because of my own disposition, the second I hear the word chicken, I tense up. Even more so since we were talking about Suzutsuki.

“The young lady also absolutely adores roasted chicken, fried chicken with vinegar and tartar sauce, teriyaki chicken…”

“I feel like I’m starting to see a pattern here…”

“Hm, not at all. She also likes food with no chicken in it.”

“For example?”

“Chi*ken ramen.”

“I mean, that’s ramen, but still!”

If memory serves me right, they did use chicken for the soup. Also, a rich lady is eating ramen? Color me surprised.

“Jirou, let’s start.”

As I was lost in thought, Butler-kun pulled me back to reality. With that, our cooking show started. Konoe still isn’t wearing her apron. Apparently she wanted to wear her butler uniform while cooking. Not like I care though.

“Then, you start washing the rice. I’ll cut the meat and vegetables.” I said while washing the vegetables first.

As a reminder, there’s a specific reason why Konoe is bad at cooking, which is her phobia of knives. Just by looking at blades, let alone touching them, she starts tensing up. That’s why cutting will be my duty. Team play is important.

“R-Right. Thanks, Jirou.” Konoe must have caught on to my considerate thinking, and thanked me.

Hm? For some reason, her cheeks turned into a faint red then and there. Or, is that just my imagination?

“Konoe, your face is red. Are you not feeling well?”

“!?”

Hearing my words, Konoe covered her face with both her hands, and started blushing even further.

“Ah…well…this is…I actually have a bit of a fever.”

“A fever? A summer cold?”

“Y-Yeah, I’ve been feeling a bit sick as of late…Ah, I’m not lying okay!”

I don’t know why, but she sure turned pushy towards the end there. Well, a summer cold generally sticks with you for a while. That might be the reason why she’s been acting off as of late.

“You can take a rest if you want.”

“I-I’m fine! Well, not really, but I can at least cook!” Konoe said, and made her way to the rice cooker.

She’s fine but not fine? What’s that even supposed to mean? I mean, as long as she doesn’t collapse on me, it’s fine.

“But, Jirou, aren’t you pretty good at cooking?”

“Why’d you think that?”

“I mean, you were working part-time at that maid cafe yesterday, right.”

“Well, you’re not wrong…”

But, the best thing I did there was wash plates. I was a useless pinch hitter, you can say.

“…Not to mention you were working there together with Usami.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with cooking to my knowledge?”

“You’re not wrong, but…Oh yeah, why were you even working with her?”

“Hm? Suzutsuki never told you? Masamune gave me her homework to copy, so I helped at her part-time job.”

“Homework?”

“Yup, the summer homework.”

“I could have shown you as well…” Subaru-sama mumbled quietly.

Seriously? I figured she’d be all serious and diligent about it, which is why I chose to ask Masamune instead. Maybe I could have saved myself the work and asked Konoe instead from the very beginning.

“By the way, when is Kureha-chan coming home? She went to a friend’s place today, right?” Konoe suddenly changed the topic.

Oh yeah, I briefly mentioned it while we were shopping at the supermarket.

“I forgot to tell you, but she isn’t coming home today.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Apparently a friend of hers is throwing a sleepover party, so until you call Suzutsuki over, it’ll be just the two of us.”

Right as I finished my sentence, Konoe crushed the rice in her hand with her palm. Following that, she started shaking, stuttering over her own words.

“J-Just the two of us…Seriously?”

“Yup, she’ll be gone all day. Also, I think it’d be better if you carefully washed the rice instead.”

I mean, there’s no need to treat your rice like the person who killed your parents. You’ll totally mess it up, in more than one way.

“Is your cold getting worse?”

“…! N-No, of course not. See, I am properly washing the rice. Uhh, next is…”

“!? Hold on! You don’t need to use detergent when washing the rice!” I frantically stopped Konoe’s hand, which was reaching for the detergent near the sink.

That was dangerous, she almost ruined the rice. Also, I think her cold really is getting worse, her face is getting more red by the second.

“Okay, I’m done over here.”

I finished cutting the meat and vegetables. It’s not my best job, but it should do just fine. That makes it a bit more wild, and delicious anyway, I bet.

“…Apologies, Jirou. If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to make anything.”

“Don’t sweat it. We’re friends…best friends after all.”

“Y-Yeah…”

For some reason, Konoe lowered her head and grew silent. Hey now, why are you suddenly feeling down because of that? That’s what you wanted us to be, right? Maybe she’s just not used to it yet?

“……”

Alright, it’s a bit embarrassing, but I should probably really emphasize us being best friends here. That should leave her at ease, I bet. So, for starters…

“—Konoe.”

“Hm? What’s up, Jirou.”

“We…are best friends.”

“Urk…Yeah, we are…”

“I’m sure that this relationship won’t change, no matter what may happen.”

“Ugh…”

“That’s right, we’ll always be…best friends.”

“………”

“I firmly believe that friendship is possible between a man and a woman.”

“……”

“That’s why we’ll always stay—”

“…Jirou, I get it already. I get it, so stop.” Konoe complained, as a dark aura started to grow behind her back.

W-What? Why do you look so shocked? Maybe it’s because I was saying some cringey stuff? I think I tried my best, considering how embarrassing it sounded…However, the gloomy atmosphere in the kitchen did not disappear. We only exchanged the bare minimum of words, as we worked on the food. With the rice in the rice cooker, all we could do was wait.

At the same time, I put the chicken meat, carrots, and the onions into a pot, boiling it with water. All that’s left is to lower the temperature once it starts seething, and putting in the potatoes. Finishing touches will be adding the curry powder we bought beforehand. There’s not many things to mess up here.

I mean, it would totally be doable if Konoe dropped an entire bottle of salad dressing into the pot, or added the vodka we had in the kitchen to roast the meat instead, but that’s about it. Then again, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened yet. Things are going fairly smoothly right now. All we had to do was wait now…

“…Jirou.”

However, as expected, my anxiety proved to be right.

“Do you have something like a subtle seasoning we could add?”

Right as I wanted to add the powder, Konoe blurted out something like that.

“Subtle seasoning?”

“Yeah, like a secret ingredient. Right now, it’s just plain old curry. If the young lady is going to eat it, I want it to be special, our one of a kind.”

“……”
I sense great danger in the force. If my experience serves as enough of a danger indicator, then this could turn out fatal.

“L-Let’s not. It’s going well so far, I wouldn’t want to ruin it.”

“Don’t say that. Since everything is working out, we should aim for something even better, don’t you agree?” Her eyes were sparkling like a puppy’s chasing after a soccer ball.

Following that, she started rummaging through the kitchen in an attempt to find anything worthwhile. Please, don’t ruin this now. What did we even have in our kitchen? We already ate all the apples, and Kureha’s been on a tomato boom lately, so they pretty much are part of every meal recently. Also, anything that Mom brought with her from her trips…

“…Ohh, what about this?”

There, Konoe took out a bottle filled with liquid from a shelf inside the kitchen. Ah, that’s…

“Looks like wine.”

“Wine?”

“Yup, red wine. Can I open it?”

“Eh? Well, probably…”

…Wait, I remember! That’s old wine Mom brought with her to enjoy! Not good, I’m looking at Pandora’s box right now. If she opened that now, Mom would definitely give me more than just an earful—

“Alright, I opened it.”

“Gyaaaaaah!”

It was too late. Konoe had already removed the cork, leaving the bottle open and a faint scent drifted from the opening.

“W-What’s wrong? Should I…not have opened it?”

“Well…I think that’s a wine bottle Mom really treasured…”

Wasn’t it pretty expensive? The label says…Mm, can’t read it. Can’t even make out what language this is.

“Urk…M-My apologies…I didn’t know it was something so precious.” Konoe lowered her head, sniffing like a puppy left in the rain.

My reaction must have been a shock for her, as she started tearing up a bit.

“……!”

…Damn it. What’s this. Please, don’t look at me like you’re about to cry.

“…It’s fine.” I called out to her with as gentle of a voice as possible. “What’s happened has happened. If I properly explain things, Mom will surely understand.”

“R-Really…?”

“Yeah.” I showed as best and reassuring a smile as possible.

In reality, I have no idea. She might force me through some rigorous and hellish training again as a penalty, but that’s something I’m used to already. Not to mention that Konoe didn’t have any bad intentions about this. Can’t stand a girl looking like she’s about to cry.

“T-Then, will you forgive me?”

“Of course. I’m not angry or anything, and I’m also to blame for what happened.”

“You…don’t hate me now…?”

“Of course I don’t. What are you talking about?”

Out of a whim, I placed my palm on Konoe’s head, gently caressing it.

“…Mm.” There, Konoe finally looked at me again.

On my palm, I felt her soft and glossy hair. She looked up at me, like she was expecting something.

“Ah, sorry, I just…” I moved my hand away again.

Since I only touched her for a brief moment, my gynophobia thankfully didn’t activate.

“No, I didn’t really…”

Konoe was about to say something, only to lower her head again. Her expression now was different from before, embarrassed. And now, silence reigned.

“……”

Crap, why did things turn so awkward now.

“S-So, what about that subtle seasoning you talked about? I think using wine should be fine.” I forcefully changed the topic.

I heard that people sometimes add wine into their curry, or even beef stew, so it should be fine.

“But, the problem is the age of the wine. It’s been back there for quite some time, I think.”

While shaking the red liquid inside the glass bottle, Konoe let out a suggestive ‘Hmm’. Following a few seconds of thinking…

“—Alright, let me have a taste.”

“Huh? Don’t do that, we’re still minors.”

“It’s fine, it’ll just be a small sip.” Konoe nonchalantly said, and poured some of the red liquid into a glass.

Will she be fine? I have some faint memories resurfacing in the back of my head, namely about Nakuru during the summer festival battle royale. Not that Konoe was stripped naked or anything, but it created a bit of a trauma to see people drunk.

“Nn.” After a bit of hesitation, Konoe took a sip of the wine. “…Yep, no problem with the taste.” Konoe tasted the wine like a cat sipping up milk.

If that’s the case, then you can stop taking sips already. You’re taking more than just a sip.

“Hey, that’s enough don’t you think?”

“Mm, what are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah, definitely. If anything, my body feels all warm and fuzzy now.”

“………”

Yeah, this is bad. The alcohol is doing its job. She’s slowly starting to sound sloppy.

“Alright, you got a taste, so let’s put the wine away for now.”

“Ah, what are you doing…!”

I took the wine bottle away from Konoe, who raised a voice of protest, and tried to take back the bottle of wine. However, the difference in height between us made it impossible. I feel like a father who forcefully took his daughter’s toy.

“Give it back! Give me back that bottle!”

“Hell no! You’re clearly getting drunk!”

“That…that’s not true at all. Just…”

“Just?”

“It felt like I won’t be able to live on without that.”

“Alright, I’m sending you to Alcoholics Anonymous preemptively!”

To think wine would work this easily on her! It made Subaru-sama its captive!

“Hmpf. No need to doubt me, I’m not drunk at all.”

“The moment you said that, you pretty much confirmed that you’re drunk.”

“What are you talking about? Then, ask me any kind of question, I’ll give you the right answer and prove it to you.”

“………What happened in 1192?”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Japan sunk.”

“What kind of world are you talking about?!”

Ahhh, she’s done for if this continues. I need her to get sober again quickly.

“K-Konoe, let’s drink something cold instead of the wine, what do you think?”

Best would probably be some barley tea to freshen her up. With that thought in mind, I opened up the door of the fridge, but luck was not on my side, as we were out of barley tea. All that’s left is milk, I guess. Well, better than nothing.

“Here, Konoe, drink some milk.” I offered Konoe the pack of milk with one hand.

I just hope she recovers with this…

“…Hmpf.”

However, the second Konoe saw the milk I offered her, the color of her eyes changed. And, she started shaking.

“Don’t joke with meeee.”

“Eh?”

“I’m saying that you better take me seriouslyyyy! A butler like me would never get drunk because of some wineeeee!” She looked like a father flipping over the table. “You and your…stupid milk! I drink it every daaaaay, and even so…”

“Even so?”

“I can’t win against Kana-chan at all…!”

“Huh?”

“~~~! Don’t bully peopleeee! I’ll show you what I do with milkyyy!” Konoe shouted.

She aggressively stole the pack of milk from me, and gulped it down. And after that was done, she took a deep breath.

“Wahaha! How’s that! The evil is goneeee! This is the true power of a butler!” Like a champion that just won the belt, Konoe held the empty pack towards the sky.

I still don’t see how this is related to being a butler, but fine.

“Still, this room is pretty hot. Is the aaaaashhiii working?” Konoe fanned some fresh air to her face.

How luxurious that would be. Sadly, our home’s kitchen doesn’t have such a wonderful function—but before I could even tell her about that.

“H-Hey! What are you doing!?”

“Huhhh? I’m taking off my clothes because it’s hoooooot~”

The tailcoat fell to the ground, the necktie was loosened, and Konoe eventually reached for the belt of her pants…

“Here…we go.” Together with that, her pants flew off too.

Waaaaaaaaaaaah stop it you idiot! She’s doing some messed up strip show in my own home!

“Hm? What’s wrong, Jirou. Why’s your face so reeeeed?”

“!” I reflexively looked away from Konoe.

Even so, the sight of her slender, snow white legs would not leave my mind. Same was for her pale thighs. From her appearance, she resembled Kureha when I last seen her, but her adorable underwear showed from beneath her shirt…it’s not that healthy for my rational thinking. Not to mention that she was wearing high-socks which didn’t help.

“……”

Crap, this irregular combination of long t-shirt and high-socks is dangerous. What a monochrome contrast, and not to forget about the underwear beneath that…

“…!”

D-Damn it, how can she be so cute. Before my reasoning gives in entirely, I need to make her get dressed again…!

“K-Konoe, at least wear your pants, okay?”

“Whyyy?”

“Why are you asking me that…”

“We’re both guys, riiight?”

“You’re a girl, remember!?”

“Heh, don’t underestimate me. I’m a cross-dressing butler.”

“And how does that logic apply here!?”

“…Huh? Jirou, why are you wearing clothes?”

“Because that’s the normal thing to do! Are your values messed up or something!?”

“Why is there so much fighting in this world…”

“Don’t just change the topic to something serious!”

Draw the line when you’re drunk! However, my retorts were met with no reaction, as Konoe raised both her arms into the air, twirling around.

“It’s not that big of a thing to panic about~”

Gyaaaaaaah! Stop it already! I can see it! I can see something peeking out from beneath your shirt!

“…Shit.”

Now that it’s come to this, I have only one option left. In order to avoid even greater damage, I need to put away this wine immediately. Or, I should probably pour it out…

“Jirou, gimme back my wine!”

Seriously.

“No, that milk just now wasn’t nearly enough for meee.”

Waaah, don’t say that. Milk has lots of important calcium, it’s very healthy.

“If you’re not giving it back, then I have to take it by forceeee.” Konoe started blushing, and approached me.

In this narrow kitchen, I had no room to escape to. Basically, she was closing in on me like a predator.

“Give it baaack! Give back the wineeee!”

“…! S-Stop it! Don’t come over here!”

I don’t think even a loan shark would be this assertive. However, because of the difference in height, Konoe is unable to reach the bottle, jumping up and down in front of me. Urk, so persistent…Like a stray cat begging for food.

“Give in, Jirouuuu.” Konoe said while closing in on me. “You can’t escapeee.”

“R-Really? I don’t see you overcoming this height difference between us anytime soon, you know?”

“…Heh, don’t underestimate butlersss.” Suddenly, Konoe showed a deviant grin. “I’ll show you my new certain-kill technique…!”

“New…?”

“That’s right, I call it…’Butler Kosoto Gari’!”

“It’s just another judo skill!” I screamed, but it was too late.

With skilled leg movement, I was robbed off my balance, and fell to the floor. It was a clean point for the opponent.

“…!?”

Right after, all the red liquid inside the bottle was splashed onto my head. The bottle itself didn’t shatter, but the liquid came out nonetheless. Ahh, I feel like a serial killer covered with the blood of my victims.

“…Ah.”

I guess I somehow managed to empty out the bottle like I had planned to, but now Konoe gave me a really disappointed look…Wait a second?

“K-Konoe-san?”

Why is she sitting on top of me?

“……What a waste…”

“Eh?”

What do you mean by that?—I wanted to ask, but wasn’t allowed to.

“…Mm.”

Almost as if she wanted to restrain me, Konoe pressed her body on me further. My sight was now filled by her, and her approaching facial features. Even her flowery scent tickled my nose. We both looked each other in the eyes, when she suddenly moved her face closer to my neck, drenched with wine.

“…Nn.”

There, she licked up the wine with her small red tongue.

“~~~! Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“I mean…it’d be such a waste.”

“That doesn’t mean you should just directly lick it off meeeeee!?”

She was like a kitten, carefully licking up the milk from its container. Using her small tongue, Konoe tried to gulp up every small drop she could find on my neck. As a result of that, every touch of her tongue sent shivers down my spine. Because she was still drunk, her body felt warm, and her tongue even more so. It made my entire body feel like it was on fire. Following my neck was my collarbone.

“Nn…Mmm…” Konoe let out adorable voices with every lick, aiming directly for the small drops of red wine on my body.

“……!”

This is bad. I felt goosebumps all over my body, and a warm sensation gathering at the tip of my nose. My gynophobia is getting close to activating. I expected this of course, considering how closely Konoe was clinging to me. Not to mention the soft sensation of her tongue. I’ve never experienced this before.

“Mm…Delicious…More…I want more…” Konoe had evolved from a small kitten into a vampire.

I grew worried that she might bite into my skin any second. However, she left it to only licking up the red liquid, audibly gulping it down.

“Guh…”

B-Big emergency, Captain! Even if she’s drunk, I didn’t expect the cold and sour Subaru-sama to do such a thing. Not forgetting about her current appearance that would normally be unthinkable. Ahh, so much stimulation…!

“K-Konoe, step it…”

I used my last ounce of strength to try and reason with her.

“Come on…we’re best friends, right?”

“…Hmpf.”

“I think of you as the best possible friend.”

“~~~!”

“That’s why…just stop this already. You want to stay best friends with me, right? Then, in order to not make things awkward and break that relationship, can’t you just move away from…Ouch!?”

Suddenly, Konoe faintly bit into my skin with her sharp teeth. But, it was a soft bite, almost meant to be playful. It felt more like she was trying to protest about something. So she actually turned into a vampire now…I’m starting to feel like beef jerky or squid.

“No…just stop it already.” I pleaded, as my consciousness was starting to drift away.

However…

“…Shut up!” Konoe answered, while still biting into my neck. “This is all your fault for saying these things, Jirou.”

“Wha…these things? About us always being best friends?”

“~~~!”

“I mean, I get that it might be embarrassing, but weren’t you the one who brought it up? Not to mention that I’m embarrassed myself, and I still say that I want to be best friends with you, so why are you…Gyaaaaah!?”

I must have said something she didn’t like, because Konoe started biting again. She used more strength though, which in result heightened the pain, while still licking my skin with her tongue. This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong here. AIl I did was emphasize what she wanted to hear. Is she trying to hide it out of embarrassment? If so, then munch on the crab sticks we have in the fridge.

“…Damn it.”

Either way, I’ll soon pass out because of my gynophobia. Before that happens, I need to get out of this situation…

“…Jirou.”

There, Konoe moved her mouth away from my neck, and looked at me. Her facial features were as beautiful as always, and because of the alcohol, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes looking melted. She’s evidently different from usual. And because of that, I felt something resembling a forbidden charm from her.

“…Jirouuu.”

Worse of all, she called out my name with a sweet voice. Her face reached up to me, close enough for our lips to touch…

“There’s…something I wanna tell you.”

“S-Something you want to tell me?”

“Yeah. That half-baked attempt before wasn’t good enough after allllll.”

She suddenly turned all serious, unbefitting of her previous attitude. Before…what is she talking about?

“Listen, this is very important.” She took a deep breath, fully ignoring my confusion.

And then, as her translucent eyes looked at me, with her flushed face, she slowly formed her next words.

“I…am…your………Mmnnn…”

“…Mmnnn?” I repeated the sound I heard.

Right after, Konoe’s face fell down next to mine, and I heard faint and rhythmic breathing…It seems like she fell asleep.

“…Jeez.” I let out a long sigh.

Either way…I’m saved. I carefully pushed away Konoe’s body, and stood up. Waaah, the ground is covered with wine. I gotta change clothes and clean that up.

“Damnit, this butler.” I muttered, while looking at the sleeping Konoe.

I guess I should carry her to the living room sofa for now.

“Up…we go.” I lifted her body, using a princess carry.

In doing so, I yet again got to admire Konoe’s cute face for a bit. However, I couldn’t afford to take my time, as my gynophobia would be acting up again. I probably have ten seconds at best, considering what I previously went through. I gotta get her to the sofa before I suffer from a nosebleed. I managed to make it in time, thankfully to her being fairly light. Then again, Kureha is even more of a light-weight.

“Mmnn…Nnn…”

She was breathing faintly, but showed no signs of waking up. Oh yeah, she was about to say something back then, right? Well, it was probably something like ‘I am your best friend’, or something like that. Well, guessing about it won’t do me any good.

“Anyway.” I looked away from the butler.

I mean, she’s still not wearing any pants. Leaving her like that would be no good, so I brought the tailcoat from the kitchen, and gently put it over her body, covered by a blanket. I thought of putting her pants on her, but I don’t have the guts to do that, gynophobia and all. I’ll just pray that Konoe actually remembers what happened, otherwise she might get a really bad idea, thinking I attacked her.

“…Phew.”

Anyway, that’s one problem taken care of. Once I change clothes, I’ll probably get a good nap like Konoe…or so I’d like to, but reality isn’t as kind. After all, I have to take care of the curry in the kitchen, otherwise it’ll ruin the food, and the finishing touches are still missing. In reality, a lot of problems were left unclear.

“…Alright.”

Guess it’s time for me to work hard. Konoe and I made this together, so I can’t ruin it. In the end, I’m spending my time mostly alone, huh. In fact, I probably would have been fine just spending the day by myself. Then I wouldn’t have had to suffer through another gynophobia attack, and hadn’t gotten wine splattered on me. I would have been able to regret it through the last day of my summer break. And yet…

“Mmmm…Kana-chan…Jirou…I can’t eat any more curry…” I heard faint muttering from the sofa.

It seems like she was having a blissful dream.

“……”

Well, you know. Today’s the 31st of August. Ending this day with my best friend’s smile isn’t half bad.

“And to keep that smile, I gotta take care of this curry.”

Gotta make this dream she’s having a reality. Muttering these words to myself, I tried my hardest for the sake of a single girl’s smile.

1 Fictional character and protag from the TV series 24