Mayo Chiki!

Festival Scramble

The 19th of September is the day of the sports festival. Worst of all, the bad premonition I anticipated turned out to be true, and rather than chaos, it was more like a storm—a typhoon.

This large-scale typhoon suddenly built up at the Pacific Coast immediately gained the largest speed, quickly approaching the Japanese Archipelago. Not to mention that it was aiming for a direct course. However, today’s weather forecast said that the town we’re living in should enter the hurricane’s area around evening. It was odd timing.

If it was pouring first thing in the morning, the school probably would have cancelled the sports festival, but we were having clear blue skies which just seemed eerie instead. They probably judged that the wind wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Hence, the school side gave the green light for this event, and Rouran Academy’s sports festival would be held as planned.

Once the afternoon rolls around, it’d probably change from that into a downpour, and the typhoon would come around to hit us I’m sure, and I bet they must have been worried about that too, but this still is the sports festival, one of the biggest events of the second term. Just like back during the school festival, the motivation of the students was as high as ever. Some were even excited for a typhoon to hit midway. I guess high school students are still children deep down.

Of course, the most excited and motivated person was Narumi Schrödinger. She’s the president of the sports festival execution committee, and the person we will have to fight today. With the opening of the festival, we would receive a speech from the very president, and you’d probably expect something boring along the lines of ‘With sportsmanship in mind…’ and so on, but this school’s strongest Schrödinger-san denied those expectations.

‘—Everyone, go and enjoy today!’

That was all she said. However, these simple words send a strong voltage through the rows of the students. Passion filled the hall like some live concert of a rock band was about to begin. Well, that’s about what you’d expect from the execution president. She possessed strong leadership you wouldn’t expect from her body. In a way, you could call this kind of skill pure charisma. Either way, with these words, our sports festival began.

“Jirou, let’s move to the starting line.”

In the corner of the sports grounds was a small space for participants of the next events to gather. Konoe was wearing typical sports wear with a shirt, and half-pants reaching down to her knees, as she called out to me.

“Oh, is it time already?”

Right as we headed to the center of the sports grounds, the previous event seemed to have ended. Thus marked the beginning of our three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race. It was the event Konoe and I participated in, as well as one of the main events of the morning.

“It’s fine, we’ve been practicing a lot this past week, we can surely do it.”

“Yeah, that was rough.”

I don’t even want to remember. Ever since we held that meeting on the rooftop on that certain day, Konoe and I were practicing each and every moment. Normally, we should have probably practiced for the main event against Schrö-senpai, but that was a more battle-focussed event. That’s why, our best anti-measures were to practice at home like we always would, and the rest of the time we used to get better at the whole three-legged thing.

Can’t ignore my gynophobia after all. I was forced to enter a three-legged race with that kind of condition. What made it even worse is Suzutsuki Kanade…Or Yamitsuki-san as she referred to herself. Her poisonous tongue developed even further, and her sadistic teasing utterly obliterated both my heart and body. To give you an example, let me tell you what happened on a certain day’s morning.

‘Good morning, Jirou-kun.’

“…What time do you think it is right now.”

‘Half past 6 in the morning. I told you I’d give you a morning call yesterday, right?’

“I sure as hell didn’t think you’d actually do that.”

The following morning after Yamitsuki-san’s declaration. My phone suddenly started vibrating together with the Godfather theme, and the person on the other end of the call was none other than that rich lady.

‘Did you think it was the same nonsense as always? Shame on you. Also, at least you won’t get woken up by Kureha-chan, right?’

“At least I’d get to sleep another 30 minutes, you know?”

‘I’m surprised you answered my call.’

“Don’t diverge from the topic.”

‘Fufu, I’m sorry. But, you said that you had trouble getting up in the morning, right?’

“Well, you’re not wrong…”

Because of my low blood pressure, I would often ignore my alarm, or even smash it to the ground. However, today I was woken up by my phone…although I also almost threw that to the ground. I guess I subconsciously stopped myself.

“I was probably surprised and then woke up. First time I woke up to the Godfather theme after all.”

‘You’re still keeping that as my melody?’

“That’s my image of you, so yeah.”

‘Maybe Darth Vader’s theme would be a better match?’

“We had this conversation back in May already.”

‘I feel like that would fit Yamitsuki-san much better. That’s what I’ve been preparing for since Golden Week.’

“That conversation back then was preparation!?”

That was in April, how far ahead did you plan?

‘Fufu, my name is Yamitsuki-san, the woman who has fallen into the dark side.’

“Are you not embarrassed to say stuff like the dark side?”

‘I’ve long thrown away my shame.’

“‘Zat so.”

‘The fact that I’m calling you fully naked is enough proof of that.’

“You’re naked, Suzutsuki-san!?”

‘Oh my? Did I never tell you?’

“You sure didn’t! Why are you naked!?”

‘Because I’m taking a bath right now. Why would I wear clothes during that time?’ Yamitsuki-san said it like it was the most obvious response.

N-N-N-Naked…I mean, she’s not wrong, but if she suddenly tells me that, I don’t even know how to react…

‘Jirou-kun, you were imagining me taking a bath right now, weren’t you?’

“!?”

‘Lecher, pervert, adolescent beast. This is why boys are such a chore.’

“I call false accusations! I definitely wasn’t thinking about anything like that!”

‘Really? So you will die in vain here?’

“…Eh?”

‘Apologies, I meant “explain”.’

“You totally said that on purpose, right!”

‘A careless mistake.’

“Like hell you’d make such a careless mistake!”

‘It was just a careless mistake!?’

“Don’t change the intonation just to have fun!”

How do you mistake these two things, huh? You clearly had ill intent while saying that.

‘Come on, explain your innocence.’

“Hold on a second. Why is that important right now? Why do I have to do that over a phone call?”

‘Should I start a video call then?’

“I’m sorry, I’ll properly explain myself so please don’t!”

‘You chicken bastard.’

“Like hell I could just do a video call with a naked girl!”

‘Why are you panicking like that? Are you naked right now as well or something?’

“What kind of flow of events is that even!?”

‘I mean, a female classmate of yours is giving you a morning call, you know? There would be nothing weird with you being on stand-by, completely naked.’

“I feel like you have a grave misunderstanding about being an adolescent boy!”

‘Then, you’re properly wearing clothes, right?’

“……”

‘…Eh? Don’t tell me…’

“H-Hold on! I’m not fully naked! I’m only wearing underwear right now!”

‘So basically…nothing but below your waist?’

“Urk…”

What else did you expect? Even the nights during September are steaming hot, so I won’t be able to sleep otherwise. Probably took off my shirt in my sleep anyway. When I woke up, I was only wearing my pair of underwear.

‘To think you were that much of a pervert that you’d enjoy talking with a phone while only wearing your underwear…’

“I’m not even enjoying this!”

‘Not to mention your little sister’s panties…’

“Boxers! I’m wearing boxers, okay!”

‘I don’t think she would mind that much.’

“I’ll experience a horrible way to wake up!”

Imagine Kureha walks in on me sleeping, as I’m wearing her panties. She’d probably kill me on the spot. I might just never wake up again.

‘But…that’s not good.’ Suzutsuki suddenly said so. ‘When we’re on a phone call, I can’t tell what clothes you’re wearing.’

“You’re still going on about that?”

‘This is very important. My good friend might be a failure of a human being who loves wearing his little sister’s panties.’

“Aren’t you just getting dizzy from the heat of your bath?”

‘Fufu, that might be the case. If so…How about we start a video call?’ She said, and let out a snicker.

……Um, what is this about? Holding a video call to check if I wasn’t wearing anything unorthodox is fine and all, but wouldn’t that be bad for Suzutsuki? I mean, she’s naked right now.

‘It’s fine. Just like you said, I’m starting to feel dizzy. That’s why—I’ll put on a bath towel after getting out.’

“Huh?”

‘See you later, Jirou-kun. I’ll be wrapping a bath towel around me first, I’ll call you in a bit.’

There, she cut the call one-sidedly.

“……”

Don’t underestimate me. She still thinks of me as a chicken bastard. If I don’t answer the call, she will probably punish me some other way. I’ll show her that I can be a man too. And no, it’s definitely not that I want to see a female classmate of mine only wearing a bath towel around her.

“!”

There, the Godfather theme started playing again. This time it was a video call. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, and accepted the call…

‘Nii-san, what are you doing?’

For some reason, what appeared on the screen was my little sister’s face………Odd. I was expecting my classmate in a mere towel…Weird, maybe the radio waves messed up, and connected me to the wrong person. However, why does it say ‘Devil Suzutsuki’ on the screen then?

“K-Kureha-san…? Why are you using Suzutsuki’s phone?”

‘Uuuuhm. Onee-sama just came over, so I borrowed her phone because she told me to wake you up.’

“Huh?”

What is this about? Suzutsuki should be in her own bath at her residence…Ah!?

“Don’t tell me…A trap!?”

I was done in. The part of Suzutsuki being naked was another part of her mischief. The proof of that is her being here at my place. She probably came to pick me up on the way to school, but set up all of this just to tease me. Her real goal most likely…

‘More importantly, Nii-san? Why are you answering Onee-sama’s call while looking like that? Not to mention a video call.’

There, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, together with a cold voice from my own little sister.

‘You know, I need to tell you as your little sister, but answering a video call like that, not to mention one of your classmates, is pretty gross as a human being…’ Her voice grew even more terrifying.

Unable to deal with this fear, I went to even lock the door. That should at least earn me some time. Now I just have to jump out of the window…

‘Nii-saaaaan, locking the door won’t help youuuu~’

Immediately after, the doorknob broke, and flew off…Amen, I prayed. Of course, to the pro-wrestling God. However, I immediately got an answer in the shape of ‘You feeling good!? If so, then anything’s doable!’, which of course was nothing but a distant hallucination. Seriously, this is all the help I get? You’re telling me to fight this monster all on my own?

“Nii-san, I’m coming in, okay~ Don’t worry, this is just for your education. I’m making sure that you don’t turn into a pervert~”

Upon entering the room, I saw Kureha’s expression, distorted with anger. Behind her was Suzutsuki, enjoying my expression filled with despair. Ahh, I was an idiot for falling for this.

“…Yeah, as I thought.”

Yamitsuki-san’s no joke. Right as I realized the hell that would await me from now on, my consciousness was shut down with the pro-wrestling moves of my little sister.

This concludes the ending of the flashback. Terrifyingly enough, my recent days all went by like this. There was no day where I wasn’t pranked or made fun of in some way. Not to mention that this Yamatsuki-san mode is just terrifying. There’s this cold tone in her voice at any given moment. Even though she’d be the same as always in front of everybody else…

“To all you students.”

Ah, talk about the devil.

“The next event will be the three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race. All students please gather at the starting line.”

From the speakers located in the corners of the sports grounds came a familiar voice, naturally belonging to Suzutsuki Kanade. Apparently she was asked by Schrö-senpai to take care of the live documentation. Since she’s popular with both boys and girls, I doubt anybody would complain about this, I’m sure. Well, if there was one complaint I had…

“Nya? Onee-sama, what kind of event is this?”

From the speakers, I heard yet another voice all too familiar to me. The people who heard the broadcast probably already know who this is, but naturally it could only be Sakamachi Kureha, my little sister. It was her job to explain the events. Apparently, Suzutsuki made it a condition to have Kureha as her assistant. No idea why, but here we are.

All I can see is this being a fatal mistake. After all, all she knows about are wrestling moves, remember? Knowing Suzutsuki, she probably decided on this because it seemed interesting, but I’m not so sure about that.

“I will explain it right now, Commentator Sakamachi-san.” Probably because she was broadcasting this, Suzutsuki spoke with polite and formal language. “This event—the three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race consists, as the name suggests, of three separate events put into one.”

“The three-legged race, the bread-eating race, and the scavenger hunt race, I see.”

“The distance is measured at around 50m. First, you have to snatch the bread at the first gate, and make sure that it isn’t being stolen from you. Although this is a three-legged race, only one person has to snatch the bread. Of course, you’re not allowed to use your hands.”

“Hmm, sounds interesting. I should have participated!”

“Once you snatch the bread, you reach the scavenger hunt area. You need to pick up a card on the ground, and gather the object written on it. Once that’s done, you only have to cross the goal line. Did you understand that, Sakamachi-san?”

“Yes, thank you very much!”

“By the way, what kind of bread do you like, Sakamachi-san?”

“A jam bun! Nothing can beat that red strawberry jam!” Kureha wiped away her drool.

Did you see that? The role of the commentary and person explaining the events have been reversed already. You seriously would have been better off putting a puppet of Colo*el Sanders.

“Senpai!”

We headed to the starting line while listening to this messed up broadcast, when someone called out to me from behind. Turning around, there came a girl with a well-endowed chest and cat ears running towards us—Narumi Nakuru. She seemed to be in a rush, as she was running fast enough for her breasts and cat ears to shake.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“There’s something Nakuru wanted to tell you…Huff…huff…”

“For now, catch a breath. You’re breathing heavily.”

“Apologies, that’s because Nakuru was getting excited.”

“Why!?”

“Eh? Because Subaru-sama and Senpai are about to participate in the three-legged race, right? Ahh, just imagining that scenery makes Nakuru…Ahhh!”

“………”

Am I the only one who thinks we should quickly carry her to the nurse’s tent? I really thought you were out of breath because you were running, you know.

“Rest assured, Nakuru has properly prepared a video camera for the occasion.”

“That’s not something that would make me feel at ease, you know.”

“Around thirty of them.”

“So many!”

“Nakuru will edit the footage so as to create a documentary.”

“Documentary?”

“Yes, and the title shall be Project X, with the X as in ‘Subaru-sama x Senpai’…”

“Alright, I can already tell you that this title won’t be accepted.”

“The producers will be us, the [Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze] committee.”

“You guys sure are passionate, huh.”

“Oh, you’re making Nakuru blush~ But, they’re still far from it. As proof of that, look over at the guardians with their high-tech cameras and equipment.”

“Guardians?”

Weird. This isn’t the sports day in grade school. We shouldn’t have any visitors outside the school here.

“It turned out to be Subaru-sama’s father.”

“I should have known!”

“His glasses were as wonderful as always.”

“Who cares about his glasses at this point!?”

“However, having an outsider at the school was bad after all. After walking around for a bit, he was captured and escorted out by the security.”

“…Oh yeah, these kinds of things tend to happen more frequently as of late.”

That old man just loves embarrassing his daughter in public.

“So, what do you want? You came here just to report that?”

“N-No…that’s not it…”

For some reason…Nakuru’s cheeks looked reddened, and she averted her gaze. However, her voice clearly reached me.

“Do your best in the three-legged race!”

She left behind only these words, making them see like she said it with all her might, and ran away on quick feet.

“……?”

What was that about? Did she simply come here to cheer me on? Hmm, why does this not feel right? There’s no way that glasses junkie would act for anything but glasses or BL…..

“…Jirou.”

There, I heard an oddly displeased voice. I turned towards that voice, only to see Subaru-sama glaring at me.

“I’ve been meaning to ask…When you met Nakuru-chan during last summer break, nothing happened, right?”

“Y-Yeah, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Really?”

“Really. I was just giving her some advice.”

“…Hmm.”

For some reason, Konoe sure didn’t sound convinced at that, as she let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong? Are you still doubting me?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you, but…”

“But?”

“That reaction just now from Nakuru-chan…” Konoe started thinking about something, and grew silent.

Maybe she also thought that something was off with Nakuru’s attitude just now.

“But, do you really need to think about it that deeply? This isn’t the first time she’s acting weird, right. More importantly, let’s go to the starting line.” When I started walking, Konoe let out a flustered ‘Ah, wait for me, Jirou!’ and started running after me.

That’s right, we need to focus on the three-legged race right now. Honestly speaking, I’m not sure if we can make it through. It’s just a mere 50m of running, but most of the time in training, I had to drop out halfway because of a nosebleed. I at least made it until the end back then, but now I also have to worry about the bread-snatching and whole scavenger hunt thing.

“No other choice but to do it, I guess.”

While thinking about this and that, we reached the starting line. When I looked around, I saw several slices of bread hung up along the track, as well as cards scattered on the floor. Seems like they’re well prepared.

“Now then, the participants seem to have finished their preparations, so let us begin the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race. Participants of the first group, on your marks. Ready, set…”

Bang! An execution committee member matched the shot of this signal gun with Suzutsuki’s words. For better or for worse, we’re in the last group, so we can watch over the rest for now.

“The first group of people have reached the bread-snatching area.”

“Oh my, it seems like grabbing the bread as two people is quite difficult…”

“Even so, they managed to acquire a slice, and are now making their way to the scavenger hunt area. The object they are hunting for…Oh my, it’s ‘A beauty with roughly D-cups’, it seems.”

“That’s a weird item to get!”

“The pairs following made it to the scavenger area too, and looking at it with the binoculars, they got…’The newest release of the Monthly Comic Alive’, ‘A cute female classmate’s flute’, ‘Student counselor Meguro-sensei’s toupee’…”

“Wait, Meguro-sensei was wearing a toupee?”

“Sakamachi-san, they can hear us.”

“Ah, excuse me, Meguro-sensei!”

“By the way, the person who thought of all these items was none other than our execution committee president Narumi-senpai. Everyone, please scavenge as many items as you need. You can also use a pass one time, which allows you to pick up a new item.” Suzutsuki explained, as she ogled the situation through the binoculars, Kureha commenting on the side.

…Um, I feel like most of these ‘objects’ are pretty unorthodox if you ask me. Look at the people participating, even they are holding their heads. And so was Meguro-sensei, whose secret was found out. That Schrödinger-san, she used her position as the execution committee president for something like this.

“Ahh, that looks fun. I should have participated myself.”

“I understand what you feel. I’m sure the participants are filled with excitement. On a side note, my butler, who is participating in the final group, was so excited, she was making several teruteru bouzu yesterday, all so that she would be lucky today.”

Because of Suzutsuki’s sudden announcement over the speakers, Konoe froze up, and then started blushing furiously. Teruteru bouzu…was she really looking forward to this event that much? That’s kind of adorable.

“Jirou! Don’t get the wrong idea! I wasn’t looking forward to it or anything!”

“But…teruteru bozu…?”

“I just wanted to hang up with somebody, okay…!”

“Why’d this suddenly turn so occult-ish?”

“A-Anyway! Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong! I definitely wasn’t looking forward to running with you or anything!” Dear Butler-kun frantically waved her hands as she tried to make up excuses.

You don’t need to be this desperate, okay. Also, why was she looking forward to this event anyway? Maybe to eat some bread? She’s a gluttonous butler after all.

“M-More importantly, let’s put on the headband. Our turn is coming up soon.” Konoe obviously changed the topic of conversation, and started tying one leg of mine and one leg of hers together.

Man, I really can’t get used to this. I’m already in touch with a girl after all. After Konoe finished tying our legs together, we put our hands over each other’s shoulders. The second I felt something soft on my palm, the shivers started, and the tip of my nose grew hot. Undoubtedly, my gynophobia activated.

“Jirou, are you okay?”

“Yeah…somewhat…”

“But, your face is really pale.”

“No worries. Let’s just focus on the event. We need to make it through the goal line.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“But, we need to overcome that river first.”

“…River?”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of stones at the river bed. So many flowers across the river…Huh? Weird, there’s some guy across the river that oddly resembles my dead old man, and he’s becoming me over…”

“Jirou! Pull yourself together! You can’t cross that river!”

“Ahahaha, wait a second, Dad, I’ll make it to the goal line soon enough…”

“Waaaaaah!” In fear and shock, Konoe slapped my cheek, which pulled my consciousness back to reality.

T-That was dangerous. I was starting to see weird fantasies because of my gynophobia. How eerie that is, it’s like a preamble to the tragedy about to occur.

“Now, we’ve reached the climax. The final group is about to start running.”

Together with Suzutsuki’s words, Konoe and I stood at the starting line. Two other pairs were running with us. Alright, I’ll leave the whole fighting to them, my goal is just to complete the race. It might be a lot to ask for, but if I pass out before even being able to participate in the event in the afternoon, that’ll be no joke.

“Now then, the final round. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt will begin now…Ready, set…” Together with Suzutsuki’s voice, tension filled the sports grounds.

Silence reigned. In the midst of that, I was simply waiting for the pistol shot, however—

“Hold on a second!”

Suddenly, a loud anime-esque voice rang from the speakers. I subconsciously directed my gaze over at the commentator’s tent, and spotted none other than the ultra small sports festival execution committee president, showing a confident expression. She stood at the desk with the microphone like a king, and then took a deep breath.

“—Let me join in.” She announced, and showed an innocent smile.

“What exactly do you mean by that, Narumi-senpai?”

As the sports grounds were frozen stiff, Suzutsuki was the only one who called out to Schrö-senpai with a calm voice.

“Exactly what I said, of course. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race…let me participate.”

“You want to invade the event?”

“Yeah, I figured it’d be the perfect prelude for what’s to come later. Remember the special event in the afternoon? I want to warm up.”

“But, what about the points of this event? You do realize that this is a class versus class event, right?”

“No worries, I’m just participating, not getting any points. Even if I get first place, just give the second place points for the first place.”

“I see, that shouldn’t be a problem then.” Suzutsuki nodded in agreement.

Hey hey hey, don’t just agree to that! Even if it’s Schrö-senpai, you shouldn’t allow this kind of selfish behaviour.

“Not to mention.”

However, Schrö-senpai explained like she was talking to the audience.

“That way, things will be more exciting, right?”

“…Indeed.” Suzutsuki answered after thinking about it for a second. “Then, why don’t we leave it to the students? If you are okay with the participation of Narumi-senpai… then please deliver an applause right now.” She called out to the people listening.

Silence followed for a few seconds, only for that to change with…Clap clap clap clap clap…Faint clapping could be heard, More and more people started to join in, until the entire student body applauded aggressively, even chanting Schrö-senpai’s name.

“……”

She really did it. That’s the president of the execution committee for you, she’s got the students on her side. And she’s not wrong either. Her participation would surely fire up the audience.

“However, what will you do about your partner?”

“Eh?”

Because of Suzutsuki’s question, Schrö-senpai froze up.

“Like I said, the other participant. This event is a three-legged race, remember? You can’t participate in this event all on your own.”

“U-Um…” Schrödinger-san started thinking, as she crossed her arms.

Seriously? She jumped to the front without considering that?

“…Ah, right. There’s her.”

“Do you have someone in mind?”

“Yep, I found someone that will make things interesting.” Schrö-senpai spoke with full confidence, and pointed at the medical care tent in the corner of the sports grounds. “I’ll make the handicraft club member helping as a health care member my partner.”

Immediately after, a shocked ‘Huuuuh!?’ voice came from the medical care tent. Standing there was a single girl with twintails, who for some reason wore a nurse uniform—Usami Masamune. Suddenly being called out, the girl was utterly baffled.

 

“Why did this happen…”

Next to the starting line, nurse Masamune muttered these words, as her shoulders dropped in defeat.

“Why are you even wearing those clothes?”

Indeed, Masamune was, for some reason, wearing your typical nurse uniform, adding the adorable nurse’s cap, and kneesocks. But, it looks more like a cosplay version than the real thing. No way a normal nurse uniform would have a skirt this short. Although it does look good on her, I can’t lie.

“I mean, I’m a member of the health care committee.”

“…Um, I don’t really get it.”

“You’re so annoying, stupid chicken! I don’t get it either! When working at the sports festival, the girls that are part of the health care committee have to wear these kinds of clothes! That’s how it was decided!”

“Decided…”

Who even decided on that? Not even Mary Antoinette would go for such a crazy stunt.

“It looks great on you, Usamin. That’s how health care committee members gotta look like!” Schrö-senpai commented, as she tied their legs together.

I see, so she’s the mastermind. With her position, that’s something she can achieve very easily. Right now, she’s like a queen after all.

“Vice club president, stop laughing like that. Also, why do I have to participate in this event?”

“Eh? Usamin, you didn’t like the cosplay?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Didn’t you like the idea of being seen in cosplay in front of a lot of people?”

“That makes even less sense!”

“You’re working at a maid cafe, right.”

“Ah…I-I wasn’t working there for this purpose…”

“Did you get excited at serving someone else?”

“No! I wanted to earn money! That’s the only reason I was working there! I didn’t apply there to serve other people, or wear cute clothes!”

“Hmm, don’t be so cold. I chose you because we’re in the same handicrafts club, and I know how fast you can run, is all.”

“T-That’s all…?”

“Also, I figured things would be a bit more spicy if I had you participate.”

“What?”

“Look around you. The guys are staring at you. Would stir up the audience a lot, right?”

“Wha—!” Steam started rising from Masamune’s head.

I can’t blame her. In the audience, large groups of guys were directing all their attention over towards Masamune. Really, what a sad reality this is. We adolescent boys really are simple beings. Of course, the girls were screaming in excitement at the fact that Subaru-sama was participating. I felt some faint gazes of killing intent directed at me, but I decided to ignore that. They’re probably dear members of the [S4]. Please don’t throw molotovs at me~

“I should have stayed at home today…”

“Don’t be so sad, everything will be fine. We can win this. I have confidence in my speed.”

“That’s why I’m worried. I feel like I’m being tied to a F1 car with shackles.”

“M-Moron, don’t praise me like that, it’s embarrassing.”

“I wasn’t praising you!”

“Well, don’t worry. Just leave it all to me. Not like our rivals are anything special.” She spoke with a provocative intonation.

Hearing that, my partner the butler let out a bothered ‘Hmpf’.

“I can’t really ignore that. Are you saying that we will lose?”

“Of course. Just to let you know, but I haven’t eaten since the day before yesterday. Basically, I’m a starving beast, so my motivation to snatch that bread is bigger than you could imagine.” After some confident phrase like that, Schrö-senpai’s stomach let out an adorable grumble.

……She’s an idiot alright. Not eating anything for the past two days is taking things too far, alright. Only she could come up with nonsense like that…

“What a coincidence. I haven’t eaten anything since the day before yesterday either.”

There’s another idiot right here! Not to mention that she’s my partner!?

“Huh, not bad. To think you’d arrive at the same tactics as I have.”

“Keep howling. I’ll teach you who gets to eat first.”

“Huh. Fight’s on, then.”

Sparks yet again flew between the two…Well, either way. In the end, it’s exactly as Schrö-senpai declared. The audience was more excited than ever, and the motivation of the participants rose all the same. To put it bluntly—the place was burning with passion beyond belief. Just simply because of Schrö-senpai’s participation, everybody was celebrating this event.

“All participants, have you finished your preparations?” Suzutsuki spoke up through the speakers.

Despite being noisy all this time, the audience suddenly grew silent in wait. And then…

“Then, the signal, please. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race… starts…now!”

There, the pistol shot rang out at the same time as Suzutsuki finished her words. All of us participants started dashing at the same time.

“……!”

The moment I took that first step, my consciousness shook. However, our initial dash seemed to have worked out, as our position was ahead of the pack. That being said, relaxing would be fatal. My gynophobia was still going rampant, and just holding back my nosebleed was all I could do. We need to pass the goal as quickly as possible…!

“Bastard! Don’t run ahead of me!”

Behind us, I could hear an enraged anime voice. When I glanced backwards, I saw Schrö-senpai dashing after us like she was hunting her prey, and…Wait, hold on. The heck is that?

“V-Vice president, what kind of running is this!?”

“Hm? There’s no problem, right? We’re running three-legged.”

“How is this three-legged!?” The nasty rabbit complained.

I can’t blame her. Despite them running in the three-legged style, her leg did not touch the ground. Instead, it was more like two-legged but with two people. Schrö-senpai had Masamune cling to her neck, and ran along at full speed. It was a new type of running style that would even leave Usain Bolt shocked. That’s only possible because of Schrö-senpai’s insane physical abilities. Not to mention that she’s fast.

“Noooo! Let me down!!”

“Eh? Seriously? You’ll probably get dragged along if I do though?”

“I take it back! Just reach the goal quickly!”

“Leave it to me. Also, you’re clinging too hard. I mean, you got more than what you’re leading on, huh.”

“!?”

“C-cups?”

“Noooooo!?”

“Tsk, growing up like this. If I was a guy, I’d get a nosebleed.”

“Don’t be jealous now!” Even while having her bust size revealed, Masamune did not let up at all.

What a clever decision. If she let go of Schrö-senpai now, she’d be dragged through the dirt like a dust cloth. So that Schrö-senpai wouldn’t catch up easily, Konoe and I sped up too. Seems like our practice worked out pretty well. Then again, she’s not even really pressing her chest against me, and I can still feel the nosebleed coming.

After running along the track, we reached the bread-snatching area.

“Jirou, can I grab the bread?” Around five meters away from the hung up bread, Konoe said with an oddly terrifying expression.

“Got it. Which one are we aiming for?”

There’s five slices of bread. From the right, we have melon bread, anpan, cream bread, a hot dog bun, and finally the croissant. They sure put a lot of effort in the variety here alright.

“Hmm…Then, the anpan.”

“Got it.”

“Jirou, it’s going to be mine, okay? No stealing it from me at the last second, you hear me?” Subaru-sama looked at me like a blood-starved beast.

She’s hungry alright. Makes sense why she was staring up at the clouds, saying ‘Ahh, they look so sweet and delicious…’, huh. I was worried she was on some drug trip, but it was all just her empty stomach. I need to have her eat something alright. As going along with the rules of this race, we can’t use our hands. That means we had to finish eating the bread right here.

All focus went onto the anpan. I jumped as high as I could so that Konoe could grab the bread much easier.

“Woah!?”

However, we passed by the bread without being able to snatch it. I immediately understood the reason as to why we failed. The bread hung higher than we anticipated. Looking over, the thread of the anpan and croissant were a bit shorter than the rest. Must have been done intentionally to variate the difficulty, and to make things more exciting. That’s why Konoe could barely not reach the bread. Damn it, we have to switch the target then…

“Urk…I’m not giving up! Jirou! One more time!”

Do you want to eat the anpan that badly!? Konoe continued jumping like an energetic rabbit, but her attempts ended in vain. Konoe might be able to grab it simply relying on her own abilities, but we were in the middle of a three-legged race. All her abilities were pretty much halved. Maybe I should grab the bread after all? But, that way she can’t eat it…

“You’re slowing down, Junior!”

I heard Schrö-senpai’s scream in the distance, only to immediately be tackled by her, which led me to groan like a frog that just got stepped on. Damn it, to think she’d fight for a position in the bread-snatching part of all the places. Apparently she was in it for the anpan as well. However, Schrö-senpai is even smaller than Konoe, so how is she supposed to get it before us?

“I’m counting on you, Usamin!”

There, Schrö-senpai gave the responsibility to Masamune, surprisingly enough. She momentarily let down Masamune on the ground, only to jump after. Maybe it was thanks to her higher stature, or thanks to Schrö-senpai’s power, but Masamune managed to get this bread. But, why? Schrö-senpai should be hungry right now, so just giving the bread to Masamune…

“Usamin, turn over here.”

“Hm? Fef?”

There, Schrö-senpai apparently came up with something, as she turned her own face towards Masamune.

“Mmmm!?”

Immediately after, Masamune’s shocked voice rang out. Schrö-senpai bit into the bread on the opposite side of Masamune, and ripped it out of her mouth to chomp on it herself…Now she did it. She’s not using her hands like this, and thus is protecting the rules perfectly. Still, using this kind of pocky game method to steal the bread…!

“Ahaha! See you later, Subaru-sama! The anpan was delicious!” Schrö-senpai let out an arrogant voice, and started running towards the scavenger hunt area.

The pairs following managed to quickly snatch the bread, and passed us. This is bad, we’re not making any progress. My gynophobia is getting worse, and we’re reaching the time limit. Not to mention that all we have left is the croissant that’s hanging up the highest. Can’t help it. I feel bad for Konoe, but as I’m taller than her, I need to grab it first—

“What are you hesitating for, Jirou-kun?”

There, a dignified voice passed over the grounds to my ear. It’s Suzutsuki, and while keeping up her young lady smile, she continued.

“You just have to give her the bread just like Narumi-senpai did.”

“………”

No no no no, what are you saying out loud with speakers attached to your microphone? Even Konoe went all ‘Eh!?’ after hearing those words.

“It’s simple, right? Jirou-kun, you have to grab the bread, and then have Konoe eat it. It’s the same thing Narumi-senpai and Usami-san just did.”

Here comes Yamitsuki-san with an unexpected appearance! You plan to make me embarrass myself like this in front of the entire student body!? Of course, said students already figured out what Suzutsuki was talking about with these words, as I heard roars from the female portion. Half of them probably were the [Watch over Committee] who believed that Konoe and I were dating, and the latter was probably the [S4] who were busy writing my name into their death notes. Can’t blame them, this is no different than doing a pocky game. Worse of all, we had to do it with a small croissant.

“Jirou-kun, did you not realize that your nose has been bleeding for a while? Did you get hurt because of Narumi-senpai bumping into you just now?”

“!?”

Because of Suzutsuki’s declaration, only now did I realize that I was suffering from a nosebleed. Must have been because of my phobia. Oh yeah, I was wondering why I was feeling so dizzy for a while now. At least now nobody is suspicious of my nose bleed thanks to Suzutsuki’s follow up, but I can’t afford to collapse here…!

“…Shit.”

No other choice but to do it, huh. When I looked over at Konoe, she grew silent, only blushing. After thinking about it for a moment, she nodded.

“…A-Alright, let’s do this.” I responded with a quivering voice, and jumped for the croissant.

As expected, because of our difference in height, I easily managed to snatch it. The problem comes after.

“K-Konoe…”

With the croissant in my mouth, I turned my face towards Konoe. In doing so, she also approached the croissant, her face as red as a tomato. Because of this, I saw her antique doll-esque facial features right in front of me, as she accepted the croissant, and gulped it down.

“Kyaaaaaaaah!” A small portion of the audience raised shrieks like they had fallen to the pits of hell.

This might be the best possible material for their doujinshi, alright. Also w-w-was that an indirect kiss just now…?

“J-Jirou! Let’s go!” Konoe probably tried to hide her own embarrassment, as she forcefully started running.

…Yeah, I’ll just forget about that. This isn’t the time to be embarrassed. In order to not let my gynophobia get the better of me…! With that thought in mind, we ran for the scavenger hunt area. Luckily, many of the other pairs were standing there, lost on what to do. Seems like they got some impossible objects. Even the pair of Schrö-senpai and Masamune were standing there, Masmaune looking like she was about to break out in tears.

“Hurry up, Usamin! The goal is right over there!”

“Don’t wanna! I’m not doing this!”

“Come on, it’s not that hard! ‘The socks of the person you like’ is an easy object, right!”

“What perverted object is that supposed to be! Also, you made me pick this up, right!?”

“I figured it’d be fun!”

“Youuuuuu!”

“Come on, you must have someone you’re at least interested in, right?”

“T-That’s…” Masamune started blushing, and grew quiet.

With how hard it is for her to put trust into others, I can’t imagine that she has someone like that. She’ll probably be forced to use the pass.

“Konoe! Let’s hurry and pick one ourselves!”

We went for the cards that were still scattered on the floor. Oh man, I just hope it’s nothing too crazy…

“J-Jirou, I actually already picked one up…”

“Eh? Really?”

I looked over at Konoe, and saw a card in her hand. Seems like she already picked up one while I was paying attention to Schrö-senpai and Masamune. But, why is she so nervous? I was a bit confused, and looked at the writing on the card. There, it said—

‘The person you want to confess to’

…Weird. Is my gynophobia flaring up for good right now? I’m starting to see hallucinations.

“It appears as if Subaru pulled the ‘The person you want to confess to’ card.”

“Wha…!?”

A sudden announcement declared this fact to the audience. When I looked over towards the commentators, that rich lady was looking at us through binoculars, grinning. Ahh, she’s enjoying herself!

“Y-Young lady!”

“My, what’s wrong, Subaru? Why are you panicking like this?”

“B-Because…t-t-t-this object is…”

“Isn’t it simple?”

“!?” Butler-kun was shocked to hear these words.

The person she wants to confess to…Basically, well…the person she’s interested in, right? But, does Konoe have someone like that? After hearing about this, the audience grew even more noisy in excitement. It’s like I was part of some public demonstration.

“Uuuuu…” In the midst of that, Konoe bit her lip, and started thinking, only to eventually… “P-Pass!” Konoe threw away the card.

At the same time, you could hear screams of disappointment, but also sighs of relief in the audience. Great judgement. Fulfilling this scavenger hunt would be the same as doing a confession after all. She definitely can’t do such a thing, right…

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“…Huh?”

Why was I relieved there for a second?

“Jirou, you pick up the next one!” Konoe’s words pulled me back to reality.

That’s right, the most important right now is to cross the goal, so I have to focus. We can only use one pass, so I need to get the best possible card…!

“…This one!” I made up my mind and grabbed a single card.

‘The member of the opposite sex you’re most closest with’

“Are you kidding meeeee!?” I subconsciously screamed.

This is the worst. To think I would draw the one card that really only fuels my gynophobia.

“Fufu, this seems interesting. The card Jirou-kun drew says ‘The member of the opposite sex you’re most closest with’!”

Urk…

“You can’t use the pass anymore! I wonder what girl Jirou-kun will bring with him!”

“…Ugh.”

Yamitsuki-san, can you stop? Talking about the person I’m closest with as a female friend, that’s definitely Konoe, but if I took her with me now, they would figure out that she’s a girl.

“…Stupid chicken?”

Someone called out to me, and when I turned towards that voice, I saw Masamune looking at me. I mean, we’re pretty good friends, but dragging you along and revealing that we’re this close is just getting close to being publicly embarrassed.

“…Hurry up, Sakamachi Kinjirou.”

“!?”

To my shock, now even Schrö-senpai looked over at me, with an oddly profound gaze. Does she…No, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She sees me as an enemy, right. Also, you just focus on getting to the goal, alright.

“…Jirou, what will you do?”

Even my partner Konoe looked at me with a gaze full of anxiousness. Three gazes pierces me, as well as the entire audience having their attention directed at me.

“……”

…After a moment of thinking, I decided, and started running towards the person I had chosen.

“…Hmm? Nii-san, why are you coming over here?”

I reached the commentator’s tent, and grabbed my little sister’s arm, and walked to the goal to reach first place. This is the choice I’ve taken. I mean, my little sister is still someone from the opposite sex, right?

“…Chicken bastard.”

Amidst the vivid booing of the audience, I heard faint muttering coming from Suzutsuki…Damn it, just say whatever you want. I myself feel like I might have won the battle and lost the war, but this was the best possible choice I could take.

“…Hmpf.”

Even Konoe was glaring at me for some reason. Hey now, do I really need to explain myself why I didn’t pick you?

“Ehehe, Nii-san, I’m the girl you’re closest with, huh~” Kureha put both her hands on her cheeks, and smiled innocently.

Yeah, we really are close. We’ve known each other for more than ten years now. Although I’m pretty much just your punching bag.

“…Jeez.”

Anyway, this concludes the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race. It had a lot of ups and downs, but I at least managed to stay conscious until the very end.

“Ahh, what a blunder. So you ended up winning the preamble.”

As I was undoing the band tying my leg to Konoe’s, Schrö-senpai approached me. It seems like they used a different item and finished the race themselves.

“But, I’m not losing the special event, okay. You better be ready.”

“…Just what I wanted to hear.” I showed as much hostility as I could.

As long as we don’t win during the special event later, there’s no meaning to winning in the first place. For that, I practiced a lot after all.

“Ah, also…” Schrö-senpai suddenly whispered into my ear. “Right after lunch break starts, come to the infirmary. Of course, completely alone without anybody seeing you.”

“…Huh?” I froze up because of this sudden request.

However, I wasn’t given time to return a question, as Schrö-senpai walked away with a nonchalant ‘See ya!’.

“…Jirou? Did she tell you something just now?” Konoe called out to me.

“This will conclude the morning program of the sports festival. After a brief lunch break, we’ll move on with the program for the afternoon.”

A broadcast started playing, so I could only respond with ‘No, nothing…’ and looked away. I feel like that was the better choice just now.

“………”

At least the morning was over. However, because of the typhoon approaching, the sky slowly turned grey, and cloud formations started to build up.

 

“Yo, been waiting for ya!”

The second I opened up the door of the infirmary, an anime voice greeted me. Sitting on a chair, Schrö-senpai…wait, is that a multi-layered lunch box?

“Yo, let’s eat lunch together. You haven’t had anything yet, right? I made some lunch for us.”

“………”

Weird. Her attitude is completely different from before. Is she trying to poison me? Maybe there’s a weapon inside the box.

“? Are you being cautious of me or something?”

“…Well, of course.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m not gonna do anything. Come on over here, pss pss pss…” Schrö-senpai treated me like a stray cat as she called me over, clicking her tongue.

I’m not even a human being in her eyes?

“Sheesh, what’s going on? A cute girl is calling you over, so stop being scared.”

“Just to let you know, but I don’t think a so-called cute girl would half-destroy a classroom.”

“Eh…r-really? But…my name is pretty cute, right?”

“You think your own name is cute!?”

It’s Narumi Schrödinger, you know!? How would you even think about that!?

“N-No way, it’s not cute at all?”

“Of course. How did you even get the name Schrödinger.”

“That’s…the name my father came up with…”

“…So, is your father German? That name sounds like it has a German heritage, right?”

“No, he’s a proper native Japanese.”

“Then why Schrödinger!?”

“Urk…Well, my old man is a bit weird, okay.” Schrö-senpai started sulking for some reason.

Oh yeah, her father was the president of the manufacturer who produced all these Silent Sheep, right. It makes sense that his personality would be a bit over the rainbow.

“Uuu…How dare you make fun of my name…”

“Wah, don’t just start crying! That makes it seem like I’m the bad guy!”

“But…but…waaaaah!”

“Ahh, don’t cry!”

“I’ll sue you! I’ll report you, saying ‘This Onii-chan hurt me!’, just you wait!”

“I get it already! I’ll come eat lunch with you so stop crying!” When I screamed these words, Schrö-senpai wiped her tears away with a weeping ‘…Really?’ for no reason.

…What is this. Why’s she suddenly so adorable? Because of her small stature, as long as you ignore her endless strength and violent tendencies, she’s almost like a doll. Of course, I’m definitely not a lolicon.

“Alright, then come over here! It’s food time!”

“You’re quick to get back on your feet, huh…” I commented, and sat down on the chair next to the desk.

“Fufu, don’t fall off your chair! I brought some special lunch with me today!”

“I can tell as much.”

It’s a multi-layered box. Not to mention the same one Nakuru brought with her during that date last summer break. Maybe she’s as good at cooking as her little sister? I mean, look at those four layers. When Schrö-senpai opened the first layer, I was greeted by cream puffs. The second layer offered…cream puffs. So did the third layer…and the fourth layer…

“…It’s all cream puffs!?”

“Always has been~ I just love them, you know.” Schrö-senpai smiled innocently, and bit into a cream puff, her cheeks filling with cream.

Hmmm, she really doesn’t look like a high school girl.

“What’s wrong, are you not going to eat?”

“I mean, I am hungry, but…why are you doing this?”

“Because I love cream puffs.”

“That’s not what I meant! I fully get how much you love cream puffs!”

“Name’s Narumi Schrödinger, I love cats and cream puffs.”

“Cats!?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not eating them. I love cats because they’re cute. We’re having the cat in a bowl trend right now, but I’m waiting for the cat in a lunch box boom.”

“I really doubt that kind of boom will come soon…But, leaving that aside. I was wondering why you called me here.”

“It’s not that weird, is it?”

“It sure is. You treated me like your archnemesis. Also while I’m at it, but I didn’t actually do anything to your little sister.”

“Yup, I know that.”

“…What?”

She…knows? Why did she suddenly agree to that? I can’t follow. If she knew about the truth, why was she so dead-set on fighting me?

“The thing is, Sakamachi Kinjirou.” Schrö-senpai licked her lips, and continued talking. “To be honest, when I punched you in that classroom, I somewhat understood that you didn’t do anything to my little sister.”

“Wha…”

Why? Before I could ask that question, Schrö-senpai laughed like a detective that had just seen through the case.

“I mean, you totally seem like some chicken bastard.”

“!”

“That’s what I thought the first time I saw you. You didn’t feel like the type of guy who would lay their hands on a girl without their consent.”

“………”

“Well, that was just my intuition working. And? Was I right?”

“…H-Haha, I wonder…” I answered awkwardly, but sweat already started building on my cheek.

Narumi Schrödinger is a terrifying person. Is this the intuition of a wild beast? I didn’t expect her to catch on to my disposition just like this. Then again, she doesn’t know about my gynophobia, I bet.

“…”

But, why? Why did she attack me despite knowing that I didn’t do anything?

“…Sorry about that.” There, Schrö-senpai suddenly gave me an odd apology. “It was…all for Nakuru’s sake.”

“Nakuru’s sake?”

“Yeah. You might have already realized, but we’re not necessarily close. Or rather, she’s bad at dealing with me.”

“Well, I could sort of see that in her attitude.”

“I know it’s not exactly something I should say, but I’m fairly talented at sports, and I have pretty good grades, as a secret between us. Because of that, she’s always been raised in comparison to me, ever since she was a small child. Constantly being made fun of, bullied, you know the drill.”

“……”

Well, I get what she’s talking about. With good senses like that, and a clever head, she’s also pretty popular looking at the audience’s reaction just now. If I had to guess, Nakuru grew up while always looking at Schrö-senpai. Of course, all the while being compared to her.

“See, this is what I’m like. Hearing that my little sister is getting bullied, I couldn’t sit still, and beat up everybody involved. I tried to be a reliable older sister, and tell her that I’d protect her, but…that only weighed down on her more it seems.” Schrö-senpai said, as she sighed.

“Basically…it’s a complex?”

A complex to herself because of the talented older sister she has. It’s not like Nakuru is particularly inferior to anybody, but she also can’t exactly compete with someone like Senpai. I can understand what she’s going through, I can’t compare to my little sister and her athletic talent.

“You never thought it was weird? She was using very formal language with me. Even though we’re blood-related sisters.”

“………”

“She’s probably adapted to the thought that she can’t win against me. That’s why she always feels apologetic in any given situation. She feels pathetic because she can’t compare. Thinking that on top of being inferior, she even has to be protected….and all that.”

“……”

“But, we can’t keep going like this. At this rate, she’ll never be confident, always thinking that she’s inferior to me, as she lives her own life. I don’t want that. I don’t want this kind of life for my little sister. Not to mention…”

“…Not to mention?”

“No, forget about that. To put it simply, I want Nakuru to grow. Of course, not in the physical way.”

“I knew that.”

“Not her breasts either, okay?”

“I said I knew that!”

She sure is obstinate about this. Does she have a complex about her loli appearance by any chance?

“Well, that’s basically why.” She let out a sigh, and looked at me. “I know I’m being selfish here, but I want your help.”

“…Help?”

What’s this about? How would me and Schrö-senpai fighting be of help for Nakuru?

“Fufufu, don’t you worry, I’m not asking you to help me for free!”

She fully ignored me being lost in thought, walked towards one of the beds in the infirmary, and pointed at the curtains that were currently closed.

“Now, open it up. You’ll be surprised.”

“……?” I tilted my head in confusion, and opened up the white curtains.

Is she offering me some reward or something? Is it going to be more cream puffs…?—As it turns out, they were not cream puffs. It was Usami Masamune in her nurse uniform, tied up with a rope.

“……” I was too baffled to even react.

Masamune must have realized that we opened the curtains, as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. However, she could not tell me anything because her mouth was gagged……Usamin looked at you like she wanted to become your ally. Will you make her your ally?

“……”

For now, I acted like I didn’t see anything, and closed the curtains again. I heard some faint ‘Mghhhh!’ from across the fabric, but I decided to ignore that while being terrified.

“Big surprise, right?” Schrö-senpai let out an innocent laugh.

Well, you really did surprise me, alright…

“Schrö-senpai, I have one question.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“What exactly is this about?” I pointed at the bed that continued to shake.

“Hmmm.” Schrö-senpai thought about it for a moment. “Did that make you happy?”

“Like hell it did! You really thought that would make me happy!?”

“I mean, it’s a tied-up nurse, right?”

“Don’t give me that! Why are you tying up a nurse!”

“It’s an early present from Santa Schrödinger.”

“I’d just wake up with a trauma if you put that below my pillow!”

That’s a nightmarish present. Is she involved in human trafficking? I feel Suzutsuki did something similar to Konoe before. I opened up the curtain again, and freed Masamune from her predicament. In doing so, she coughed a few times, and then glared at me.

“Stupid chicken! Why did you close the curtains!?”

“Well, I just needed to process that.”

“Do that after saving me!”

“Sorry, sorry. Also, why are you even here?”

“Like hell I know! When I came here after the three-legged race to bring some more stuff to the medic care tent, the club vice president called out to me, and then…!” Masamune bit her lip.

I see, so she was captured and tied up, huh.

“Now now, Usamin, don’t be so angry. Here, have a cream puff.” Schrö-senpai flashed an innocent smile, and gave Masamune a cream puff.

However, Masamune just averted her face with a pout.

“I don’t want that. Why did you even tie me up?”

“Hmm, don’t be so angry, I actually wanted your help with something.”

“My help?” Masamune was confused, to which Schrö-senpai grinned.

“I want Sakamachi Kinjirou to help me, so ask him in my stead.”

“Huh!? Why would I do that! Why do I have to ask that stupid chicken so that he helps you!?”

“Ah, you don’t remember? Didn’t you say you’d listen to whatever I say after losing against me?”

“Urk…you’re right about that…” Masamune let out a defeated sigh.

Did they have a battle behind the scenes?

“You seem like you’re confused, so let me tell you. When she was a first-year, she picked a fight with me.”

“Why a fight?”

“She learned of the handicraft club’s activities, and got angry. Apparently she wanted to join a normal club. I told her to just join, but the anger got the better of her, and she attacked me.”

“……”

“So, just having a brawl would be boring, which is why we added the condition that the loser has to listen to whatever the winner has to say. Naturally, I won by a landslide.” Schrö-senpai puffed out her chest in pride.

I see, that’s why Masamune ended up under Schrö-senpai. Now I also get why she joined the handicrafts club. Though it’s a bit surprising to hear that she wanted to join a normal club.

“You really went and picked a fight with her, huh.”

“C-Can you blame me? She doesn’t look strong at all.”

“Ahh, well, judging from her looks.”

She looks like a grade school girl after all, and since Masamune was in a karate club before, she probably didn’t think she would lose like that.

“But, that’s where all the misfortune started…Ever since then, I couldn’t quit the handicrafts club…”

“Ahaha! Maybe ‘cause it’s fun? We also do some handicraft work from time to time.”

“You need to emphasize that from time to time, okay.” Masamune dropped her shoulders with a melancholic sigh, whereas Schrö-senpai just laughed with all her heart.

Hmm, looking at them like this, they seem like a good combination.

“Not to mention that we’re good friends right, Usamin. We went shopping together before.”

“Wah…vice club president!”

For some reason, Masamune started panicking because of Schrö-senpai’s words. What’s this?

“Schrö-senpai, what did you buy together?”

“Wha…Stupid chicken! You shut up for now!”

“Come on, Usamin. It’s not that big of a deal~” Schrö-senpai grinned for a moment, and continued. “We bought underwear.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Did you not hear me? We bought underwear. Lingerie, you feel me. Usamin wanted some cute stuff, so I helped her pick.”

“V-Vice president!” Masamune panicked even more.

Judging from that reaction, what Schrö-senpai said seems to be true. But…underwear? Didn’t she clearly choose the wrong person for that? Why would Masamune ask Schrö-senpai? I feel like anybody else would have been better…

“Hey, Sakamachi Kinjirou, why are you looking so confused? I have quite mature interests, you know.”

“M-Mature…”

“Put frankly, black.”

“Black!?”

“Hm…Why are you having trouble believing me? Would you like to confirm?”

“Wah!? Why are you talking off your spats!?”

“Ahaha, don’t take everything so seriously, I was joking. Well, I was telling the truth regarding the color though.” With her spats lowered to her knees, Schrödinger-san flapped her jersey sleeves up and down.

I-I don’t believe it. This loli is wearing black underwear…I can’t imagine that at all. Though, it might actually work well as a gap…

“You should have bought some more mature underwear too, Usamin.”

“No thanks. The ones you recommended to me are way too flashy. You should just wear child’s underwear too.”

“S-Shut up! Do you have a problem with my fashion sense!?”

“I sure do. You’re a child, so even if you wear mature underwear, you’re still just a small brat. Not to mention that for now…”

“Waaaaaah! Shut up! I forbid you to speak any further! If not, I’ll reveal your new underwear right here!”

“Ah, wha, what are you doing!?”

Schrö-senpai suddenly grabbed Masamune’s skirt, who was desperately trying to protect it. What did she mean by ‘For now?’. I was curious, but I feel like I shouldn’t be asking right now. Everybody has some secrets they don’t want other people to find out after all. It must be something like that. Look at Schrö-senpai panicking too.

“Okay, I get it! I won’t say that anymore! I’ll keep your secret locked up inside my chest, so you let go of my skirt already!” Masamune immediately gave up, and surrendered.

Hearing this, Schrö-senpai let out an awkward ‘R-Really?’, and removed her hands from Masamune’s skirt.

“I won’t forgive you if you’re lying. I’ll tell him about the underwear and the color you bought before.”

“Don’t threaten me like that…Also, didn’t you bring me here so that I could persuade the stupid chicken?”

“Ah, right.”

“You forgot!? Also, why did you even choose me for that?” Masamune showed a dubious expression.

Oh yeah. Why did it have to be Masamune for that? Both she and I were confused, waiting for Schrö-senpai’s response.

“Eh? I mean…” She showed a somewhat nonchalant attitude. “Usamin’s Sakamachi Kinjirou’s type, right.”

“Huuh!?” I let out a roar in bewilderment.

Eh? The hell is up with that? Why would Masamune be up my alley? Where did she get that information from…

“Kureha told me. ‘Nii-san likes tsunderes, you know’, see.”

“Don’t just believe everything she says!”

“Eh? So she’s wrong?”

“Well, that’s…”

“Hmmm? So she’s not wrong~?”

“…!”

That damn Kureha. She must have used the porn magazines in my room as reference. One of them was some magazine with a stupid title like ‘Tsundere Ratio 8:2…No, 9:1! The golden ratio!’, but why is she telling other people about this…!

“S-Stupid chicken…Y-Y-Y-You…”

Most terrifying of all is the single girl standing next to me. Her nasty rabbit attitude had vanished elsewhere, as she instead looked at me in shock.

“C-Calm down, Masamune!”

“But…I’m your type…?”

“Kureha just talked some nonsense there!”

“…Eh? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s not true at all!”

“…Really?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t go back on my word like this!”

“……Then, tell me. What kind of girl is your type?”

“Why are you suddenly asking me that!?”

What kind of jump in topic is that!? Not to mention that Schrö-senpai jumped in, saying ‘Ohh, that sounds interesting’…Yeah, this is bad. I need to change the topic immediately!

“A-Anyway, leaving that aside! You called me and Masamune here because you wanted my help, right? Then, let’s talk things out. I’ll help you, alright.” I forcefully changed the topic.

“Eh, really?” Schrö-senpai bit on to my words.

…Thank god it worked. I seem to have succeeded in hiding my interests in tastes for now.

“…Mmm.”

However, Masamune was clearly pouting, bothered by this. Why are you looking like this? What do you gain from learning about my tastes?

“So, Schrö-senpai, what should I do?”

Anything is fine, just get me away from this previous topic. Those were my thoughts when I asked that.

“Hmm, then answer me one question.”

“A question?”

“That’s right. It’s a simple question, so be honest with me, Sakamachi Kinjirou.” There, she spoke with an oddly serious tone, and continued. “Do you have a girl you like right now?”

“……”

…Was that just my imagination? I feel like we jumped over several steps there. Even Masamune was looking at Schrö-senpai in shock.

“Now, be honest and tell me. Love talk time. We’re high school students, so everybody has a person they set their eyes on, right?”

“U-Um…”

“Why are you hesitating like that? Ah, is what Nakuru is writing in these novels actually…”

“No! Absolutely not! I like girls, okay!”

“Then why? Did yours rot off already?”

“Don’t say terrifying nonsense like that!”

I’m not even in my twenties, I have plenty of lust and desires inside of me. But, with my gynophobia, I just can’t fall in love with another girl. That’s the big premise inside of me. First comes fixing, and then I can think about love.

“Hmm, I’ll just take it that you’re not particularly interested in anybody.”

“W-Well, I guess.”

“I see. Then, no problems there.”

“……?”

I failed to grasp what she was talking about. Why are there no problems? Oh yeah, she was oddly interested in my relationship with girls back during the three-legged race…

“Listen well, Sakamachi Kinjirou. What I’m about to say comes from my intuition as an older sister.” Schrödinger-san calmly continued. “My little sister, Narumi Nakuru, has probably fallen for you.”

Festival Scramble

The 19th of September is the day of the sports festival. Worst of all, the bad premonition I anticipated turned out to be true, and rather than chaos, it was more like a storm—a typhoon.

This large-scale typhoon suddenly built up at the Pacific Coast immediately gained the largest speed, quickly approaching the Japanese Archipelago. Not to mention that it was aiming for a direct course. However, today’s weather forecast said that the town we’re living in should enter the hurricane’s area around evening. It was odd timing.

If it was pouring first thing in the morning, the school probably would have cancelled the sports festival, but we were having clear blue skies which just seemed eerie instead. They probably judged that the wind wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Hence, the school side gave the green light for this event, and Rouran Academy’s sports festival would be held as planned.

Once the afternoon rolls around, it’d probably change from that into a downpour, and the typhoon would come around to hit us I’m sure, and I bet they must have been worried about that too, but this still is the sports festival, one of the biggest events of the second term. Just like back during the school festival, the motivation of the students was as high as ever. Some were even excited for a typhoon to hit midway. I guess high school students are still children deep down.

Of course, the most excited and motivated person was Narumi Schrödinger. She’s the president of the sports festival execution committee, and the person we will have to fight today. With the opening of the festival, we would receive a speech from the very president, and you’d probably expect something boring along the lines of ‘With sportsmanship in mind…’ and so on, but this school’s strongest Schrödinger-san denied those expectations.

‘—Everyone, go and enjoy today!’

That was all she said. However, these simple words send a strong voltage through the rows of the students. Passion filled the hall like some live concert of a rock band was about to begin. Well, that’s about what you’d expect from the execution president. She possessed strong leadership you wouldn’t expect from her body. In a way, you could call this kind of skill pure charisma. Either way, with these words, our sports festival began.

“Jirou, let’s move to the starting line.”

In the corner of the sports grounds was a small space for participants of the next events to gather. Konoe was wearing typical sports wear with a shirt, and half-pants reaching down to her knees, as she called out to me.

“Oh, is it time already?”

Right as we headed to the center of the sports grounds, the previous event seemed to have ended. Thus marked the beginning of our three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race. It was the event Konoe and I participated in, as well as one of the main events of the morning.

“It’s fine, we’ve been practicing a lot this past week, we can surely do it.”

“Yeah, that was rough.”

I don’t even want to remember. Ever since we held that meeting on the rooftop on that certain day, Konoe and I were practicing each and every moment. Normally, we should have probably practiced for the main event against Schrö-senpai, but that was a more battle-focussed event. That’s why, our best anti-measures were to practice at home like we always would, and the rest of the time we used to get better at the whole three-legged thing.

Can’t ignore my gynophobia after all. I was forced to enter a three-legged race with that kind of condition. What made it even worse is Suzutsuki Kanade…Or Yamitsuki-san as she referred to herself. Her poisonous tongue developed even further, and her sadistic teasing utterly obliterated both my heart and body. To give you an example, let me tell you what happened on a certain day’s morning.

‘Good morning, Jirou-kun.’

“…What time do you think it is right now.”

‘Half past 6 in the morning. I told you I’d give you a morning call yesterday, right?’

“I sure as hell didn’t think you’d actually do that.”

The following morning after Yamitsuki-san’s declaration. My phone suddenly started vibrating together with the Godfather theme, and the person on the other end of the call was none other than that rich lady.

‘Did you think it was the same nonsense as always? Shame on you. Also, at least you won’t get woken up by Kureha-chan, right?’

“At least I’d get to sleep another 30 minutes, you know?”

‘I’m surprised you answered my call.’

“Don’t diverge from the topic.”

‘Fufu, I’m sorry. But, you said that you had trouble getting up in the morning, right?’

“Well, you’re not wrong…”

Because of my low blood pressure, I would often ignore my alarm, or even smash it to the ground. However, today I was woken up by my phone…although I also almost threw that to the ground. I guess I subconsciously stopped myself.

“I was probably surprised and then woke up. First time I woke up to the Godfather theme after all.”

‘You’re still keeping that as my melody?’

“That’s my image of you, so yeah.”

‘Maybe Darth Vader’s theme would be a better match?’

“We had this conversation back in May already.”

‘I feel like that would fit Yamitsuki-san much better. That’s what I’ve been preparing for since Golden Week.’

“That conversation back then was preparation!?”

That was in April, how far ahead did you plan?

‘Fufu, my name is Yamitsuki-san, the woman who has fallen into the dark side.’

“Are you not embarrassed to say stuff like the dark side?”

‘I’ve long thrown away my shame.’

“‘Zat so.”

‘The fact that I’m calling you fully naked is enough proof of that.’

“You’re naked, Suzutsuki-san!?”

‘Oh my? Did I never tell you?’

“You sure didn’t! Why are you naked!?”

‘Because I’m taking a bath right now. Why would I wear clothes during that time?’ Yamitsuki-san said it like it was the most obvious response.

N-N-N-Naked…I mean, she’s not wrong, but if she suddenly tells me that, I don’t even know how to react…

‘Jirou-kun, you were imagining me taking a bath right now, weren’t you?’

“!?”

‘Lecher, pervert, adolescent beast. This is why boys are such a chore.’

“I call false accusations! I definitely wasn’t thinking about anything like that!”

‘Really? So you will die in vain here?’

“…Eh?”

‘Apologies, I meant “explain”.’

“You totally said that on purpose, right!”

‘A careless mistake.’

“Like hell you’d make such a careless mistake!”

‘It was just a careless mistake!?’

“Don’t change the intonation just to have fun!”

How do you mistake these two things, huh? You clearly had ill intent while saying that.

‘Come on, explain your innocence.’

“Hold on a second. Why is that important right now? Why do I have to do that over a phone call?”

‘Should I start a video call then?’

“I’m sorry, I’ll properly explain myself so please don’t!”

‘You chicken bastard.’

“Like hell I could just do a video call with a naked girl!”

‘Why are you panicking like that? Are you naked right now as well or something?’

“What kind of flow of events is that even!?”

‘I mean, a female classmate of yours is giving you a morning call, you know? There would be nothing weird with you being on stand-by, completely naked.’

“I feel like you have a grave misunderstanding about being an adolescent boy!”

‘Then, you’re properly wearing clothes, right?’

“……”

‘…Eh? Don’t tell me…’

“H-Hold on! I’m not fully naked! I’m only wearing underwear right now!”

‘So basically…nothing but below your waist?’

“Urk…”

What else did you expect? Even the nights during September are steaming hot, so I won’t be able to sleep otherwise. Probably took off my shirt in my sleep anyway. When I woke up, I was only wearing my pair of underwear.

‘To think you were that much of a pervert that you’d enjoy talking with a phone while only wearing your underwear…’

“I’m not even enjoying this!”

‘Not to mention your little sister’s panties…’

“Boxers! I’m wearing boxers, okay!”

‘I don’t think she would mind that much.’

“I’ll experience a horrible way to wake up!”

Imagine Kureha walks in on me sleeping, as I’m wearing her panties. She’d probably kill me on the spot. I might just never wake up again.

‘But…that’s not good.’ Suzutsuki suddenly said so. ‘When we’re on a phone call, I can’t tell what clothes you’re wearing.’

“You’re still going on about that?”

‘This is very important. My good friend might be a failure of a human being who loves wearing his little sister’s panties.’

“Aren’t you just getting dizzy from the heat of your bath?”

‘Fufu, that might be the case. If so…How about we start a video call?’ She said, and let out a snicker.

……Um, what is this about? Holding a video call to check if I wasn’t wearing anything unorthodox is fine and all, but wouldn’t that be bad for Suzutsuki? I mean, she’s naked right now.

‘It’s fine. Just like you said, I’m starting to feel dizzy. That’s why—I’ll put on a bath towel after getting out.’

“Huh?”

‘See you later, Jirou-kun. I’ll be wrapping a bath towel around me first, I’ll call you in a bit.’

There, she cut the call one-sidedly.

“……”

Don’t underestimate me. She still thinks of me as a chicken bastard. If I don’t answer the call, she will probably punish me some other way. I’ll show her that I can be a man too. And no, it’s definitely not that I want to see a female classmate of mine only wearing a bath towel around her.

“!”

There, the Godfather theme started playing again. This time it was a video call. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, and accepted the call…

‘Nii-san, what are you doing?’

For some reason, what appeared on the screen was my little sister’s face………Odd. I was expecting my classmate in a mere towel…Weird, maybe the radio waves messed up, and connected me to the wrong person. However, why does it say ‘Devil Suzutsuki’ on the screen then?

“K-Kureha-san…? Why are you using Suzutsuki’s phone?”

‘Uuuuhm. Onee-sama just came over, so I borrowed her phone because she told me to wake you up.’

“Huh?”

What is this about? Suzutsuki should be in her own bath at her residence…Ah!?

“Don’t tell me…A trap!?”

I was done in. The part of Suzutsuki being naked was another part of her mischief. The proof of that is her being here at my place. She probably came to pick me up on the way to school, but set up all of this just to tease me. Her real goal most likely…

‘More importantly, Nii-san? Why are you answering Onee-sama’s call while looking like that? Not to mention a video call.’

There, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, together with a cold voice from my own little sister.

‘You know, I need to tell you as your little sister, but answering a video call like that, not to mention one of your classmates, is pretty gross as a human being…’ Her voice grew even more terrifying.

Unable to deal with this fear, I went to even lock the door. That should at least earn me some time. Now I just have to jump out of the window…

‘Nii-saaaaan, locking the door won’t help youuuu~’

Immediately after, the doorknob broke, and flew off…Amen, I prayed. Of course, to the pro-wrestling God. However, I immediately got an answer in the shape of ‘You feeling good!? If so, then anything’s doable!’, which of course was nothing but a distant hallucination. Seriously, this is all the help I get? You’re telling me to fight this monster all on my own?

“Nii-san, I’m coming in, okay~ Don’t worry, this is just for your education. I’m making sure that you don’t turn into a pervert~”

Upon entering the room, I saw Kureha’s expression, distorted with anger. Behind her was Suzutsuki, enjoying my expression filled with despair. Ahh, I was an idiot for falling for this.

“…Yeah, as I thought.”

Yamitsuki-san’s no joke. Right as I realized the hell that would await me from now on, my consciousness was shut down with the pro-wrestling moves of my little sister.

This concludes the ending of the flashback. Terrifyingly enough, my recent days all went by like this. There was no day where I wasn’t pranked or made fun of in some way. Not to mention that this Yamatsuki-san mode is just terrifying. There’s this cold tone in her voice at any given moment. Even though she’d be the same as always in front of everybody else…

“To all you students.”

Ah, talk about the devil.

“The next event will be the three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race. All students please gather at the starting line.”

From the speakers located in the corners of the sports grounds came a familiar voice, naturally belonging to Suzutsuki Kanade. Apparently she was asked by Schrö-senpai to take care of the live documentation. Since she’s popular with both boys and girls, I doubt anybody would complain about this, I’m sure. Well, if there was one complaint I had…

“Nya? Onee-sama, what kind of event is this?”

From the speakers, I heard yet another voice all too familiar to me. The people who heard the broadcast probably already know who this is, but naturally it could only be Sakamachi Kureha, my little sister. It was her job to explain the events. Apparently, Suzutsuki made it a condition to have Kureha as her assistant. No idea why, but here we are.

All I can see is this being a fatal mistake. After all, all she knows about are wrestling moves, remember? Knowing Suzutsuki, she probably decided on this because it seemed interesting, but I’m not so sure about that.

“I will explain it right now, Commentator Sakamachi-san.” Probably because she was broadcasting this, Suzutsuki spoke with polite and formal language. “This event—the three-legged bread-eating scavenger hunt race consists, as the name suggests, of three separate events put into one.”

“The three-legged race, the bread-eating race, and the scavenger hunt race, I see.”

“The distance is measured at around 50m. First, you have to snatch the bread at the first gate, and make sure that it isn’t being stolen from you. Although this is a three-legged race, only one person has to snatch the bread. Of course, you’re not allowed to use your hands.”

“Hmm, sounds interesting. I should have participated!”

“Once you snatch the bread, you reach the scavenger hunt area. You need to pick up a card on the ground, and gather the object written on it. Once that’s done, you only have to cross the goal line. Did you understand that, Sakamachi-san?”

“Yes, thank you very much!”

“By the way, what kind of bread do you like, Sakamachi-san?”

“A jam bun! Nothing can beat that red strawberry jam!” Kureha wiped away her drool.

Did you see that? The role of the commentary and person explaining the events have been reversed already. You seriously would have been better off putting a puppet of Colo*el Sanders.

“Senpai!”

We headed to the starting line while listening to this messed up broadcast, when someone called out to me from behind. Turning around, there came a girl with a well-endowed chest and cat ears running towards us—Narumi Nakuru. She seemed to be in a rush, as she was running fast enough for her breasts and cat ears to shake.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“There’s something Nakuru wanted to tell you…Huff…huff…”

“For now, catch a breath. You’re breathing heavily.”

“Apologies, that’s because Nakuru was getting excited.”

“Why!?”

“Eh? Because Subaru-sama and Senpai are about to participate in the three-legged race, right? Ahh, just imagining that scenery makes Nakuru…Ahhh!”

“………”

Am I the only one who thinks we should quickly carry her to the nurse’s tent? I really thought you were out of breath because you were running, you know.

“Rest assured, Nakuru has properly prepared a video camera for the occasion.”

“That’s not something that would make me feel at ease, you know.”

“Around thirty of them.”

“So many!”

“Nakuru will edit the footage so as to create a documentary.”

“Documentary?”

“Yes, and the title shall be Project X, with the X as in ‘Subaru-sama x Senpai’…”

“Alright, I can already tell you that this title won’t be accepted.”

“The producers will be us, the [Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze] committee.”

“You guys sure are passionate, huh.”

“Oh, you’re making Nakuru blush~ But, they’re still far from it. As proof of that, look over at the guardians with their high-tech cameras and equipment.”

“Guardians?”

Weird. This isn’t the sports day in grade school. We shouldn’t have any visitors outside the school here.

“It turned out to be Subaru-sama’s father.”

“I should have known!”

“His glasses were as wonderful as always.”

“Who cares about his glasses at this point!?”

“However, having an outsider at the school was bad after all. After walking around for a bit, he was captured and escorted out by the security.”

“…Oh yeah, these kinds of things tend to happen more frequently as of late.”

That old man just loves embarrassing his daughter in public.

“So, what do you want? You came here just to report that?”

“N-No…that’s not it…”

For some reason…Nakuru’s cheeks looked reddened, and she averted her gaze. However, her voice clearly reached me.

“Do your best in the three-legged race!”

She left behind only these words, making them see like she said it with all her might, and ran away on quick feet.

“……?”

What was that about? Did she simply come here to cheer me on? Hmm, why does this not feel right? There’s no way that glasses junkie would act for anything but glasses or BL…..

“…Jirou.”

There, I heard an oddly displeased voice. I turned towards that voice, only to see Subaru-sama glaring at me.

“I’ve been meaning to ask…When you met Nakuru-chan during last summer break, nothing happened, right?”

“Y-Yeah, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Really?”

“Really. I was just giving her some advice.”

“…Hmm.”

For some reason, Konoe sure didn’t sound convinced at that, as she let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong? Are you still doubting me?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you, but…”

“But?”

“That reaction just now from Nakuru-chan…” Konoe started thinking about something, and grew silent.

Maybe she also thought that something was off with Nakuru’s attitude just now.

“But, do you really need to think about it that deeply? This isn’t the first time she’s acting weird, right. More importantly, let’s go to the starting line.” When I started walking, Konoe let out a flustered ‘Ah, wait for me, Jirou!’ and started running after me.

That’s right, we need to focus on the three-legged race right now. Honestly speaking, I’m not sure if we can make it through. It’s just a mere 50m of running, but most of the time in training, I had to drop out halfway because of a nosebleed. I at least made it until the end back then, but now I also have to worry about the bread-snatching and whole scavenger hunt thing.

“No other choice but to do it, I guess.”

While thinking about this and that, we reached the starting line. When I looked around, I saw several slices of bread hung up along the track, as well as cards scattered on the floor. Seems like they’re well prepared.

“Now then, the participants seem to have finished their preparations, so let us begin the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race. Participants of the first group, on your marks. Ready, set…”

Bang! An execution committee member matched the shot of this signal gun with Suzutsuki’s words. For better or for worse, we’re in the last group, so we can watch over the rest for now.

“The first group of people have reached the bread-snatching area.”

“Oh my, it seems like grabbing the bread as two people is quite difficult…”

“Even so, they managed to acquire a slice, and are now making their way to the scavenger hunt area. The object they are hunting for…Oh my, it’s ‘A beauty with roughly D-cups’, it seems.”

“That’s a weird item to get!”

“The pairs following made it to the scavenger area too, and looking at it with the binoculars, they got…’The newest release of the Monthly Comic Alive’, ‘A cute female classmate’s flute’, ‘Student counselor Meguro-sensei’s toupee’…”

“Wait, Meguro-sensei was wearing a toupee?”

“Sakamachi-san, they can hear us.”

“Ah, excuse me, Meguro-sensei!”

“By the way, the person who thought of all these items was none other than our execution committee president Narumi-senpai. Everyone, please scavenge as many items as you need. You can also use a pass one time, which allows you to pick up a new item.” Suzutsuki explained, as she ogled the situation through the binoculars, Kureha commenting on the side.

…Um, I feel like most of these ‘objects’ are pretty unorthodox if you ask me. Look at the people participating, even they are holding their heads. And so was Meguro-sensei, whose secret was found out. That Schrödinger-san, she used her position as the execution committee president for something like this.

“Ahh, that looks fun. I should have participated myself.”

“I understand what you feel. I’m sure the participants are filled with excitement. On a side note, my butler, who is participating in the final group, was so excited, she was making several teruteru bouzu yesterday, all so that she would be lucky today.”

Because of Suzutsuki’s sudden announcement over the speakers, Konoe froze up, and then started blushing furiously. Teruteru bouzu…was she really looking forward to this event that much? That’s kind of adorable.

“Jirou! Don’t get the wrong idea! I wasn’t looking forward to it or anything!”

“But…teruteru bozu…?”

“I just wanted to hang up with somebody, okay…!”

“Why’d this suddenly turn so occult-ish?”

“A-Anyway! Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong! I definitely wasn’t looking forward to running with you or anything!” Dear Butler-kun frantically waved her hands as she tried to make up excuses.

You don’t need to be this desperate, okay. Also, why was she looking forward to this event anyway? Maybe to eat some bread? She’s a gluttonous butler after all.

“M-More importantly, let’s put on the headband. Our turn is coming up soon.” Konoe obviously changed the topic of conversation, and started tying one leg of mine and one leg of hers together.

Man, I really can’t get used to this. I’m already in touch with a girl after all. After Konoe finished tying our legs together, we put our hands over each other’s shoulders. The second I felt something soft on my palm, the shivers started, and the tip of my nose grew hot. Undoubtedly, my gynophobia activated.

“Jirou, are you okay?”

“Yeah…somewhat…”

“But, your face is really pale.”

“No worries. Let’s just focus on the event. We need to make it through the goal line.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“But, we need to overcome that river first.”

“…River?”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of stones at the river bed. So many flowers across the river…Huh? Weird, there’s some guy across the river that oddly resembles my dead old man, and he’s becoming me over…”

“Jirou! Pull yourself together! You can’t cross that river!”

“Ahahaha, wait a second, Dad, I’ll make it to the goal line soon enough…”

“Waaaaaah!” In fear and shock, Konoe slapped my cheek, which pulled my consciousness back to reality.

T-That was dangerous. I was starting to see weird fantasies because of my gynophobia. How eerie that is, it’s like a preamble to the tragedy about to occur.

“Now, we’ve reached the climax. The final group is about to start running.”

Together with Suzutsuki’s words, Konoe and I stood at the starting line. Two other pairs were running with us. Alright, I’ll leave the whole fighting to them, my goal is just to complete the race. It might be a lot to ask for, but if I pass out before even being able to participate in the event in the afternoon, that’ll be no joke.

“Now then, the final round. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt will begin now…Ready, set…” Together with Suzutsuki’s voice, tension filled the sports grounds.

Silence reigned. In the midst of that, I was simply waiting for the pistol shot, however—

“Hold on a second!”

Suddenly, a loud anime-esque voice rang from the speakers. I subconsciously directed my gaze over at the commentator’s tent, and spotted none other than the ultra small sports festival execution committee president, showing a confident expression. She stood at the desk with the microphone like a king, and then took a deep breath.

“—Let me join in.” She announced, and showed an innocent smile.

“What exactly do you mean by that, Narumi-senpai?”

As the sports grounds were frozen stiff, Suzutsuki was the only one who called out to Schrö-senpai with a calm voice.

“Exactly what I said, of course. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race…let me participate.”

“You want to invade the event?”

“Yeah, I figured it’d be the perfect prelude for what’s to come later. Remember the special event in the afternoon? I want to warm up.”

“But, what about the points of this event? You do realize that this is a class versus class event, right?”

“No worries, I’m just participating, not getting any points. Even if I get first place, just give the second place points for the first place.”

“I see, that shouldn’t be a problem then.” Suzutsuki nodded in agreement.

Hey hey hey, don’t just agree to that! Even if it’s Schrö-senpai, you shouldn’t allow this kind of selfish behaviour.

“Not to mention.”

However, Schrö-senpai explained like she was talking to the audience.

“That way, things will be more exciting, right?”

“…Indeed.” Suzutsuki answered after thinking about it for a second. “Then, why don’t we leave it to the students? If you are okay with the participation of Narumi-senpai… then please deliver an applause right now.” She called out to the people listening.

Silence followed for a few seconds, only for that to change with…Clap clap clap clap clap…Faint clapping could be heard, More and more people started to join in, until the entire student body applauded aggressively, even chanting Schrö-senpai’s name.

“……”

She really did it. That’s the president of the execution committee for you, she’s got the students on her side. And she’s not wrong either. Her participation would surely fire up the audience.

“However, what will you do about your partner?”

“Eh?”

Because of Suzutsuki’s question, Schrö-senpai froze up.

“Like I said, the other participant. This event is a three-legged race, remember? You can’t participate in this event all on your own.”

“U-Um…” Schrödinger-san started thinking, as she crossed her arms.

Seriously? She jumped to the front without considering that?

“…Ah, right. There’s her.”

“Do you have someone in mind?”

“Yep, I found someone that will make things interesting.” Schrö-senpai spoke with full confidence, and pointed at the medical care tent in the corner of the sports grounds. “I’ll make the handicraft club member helping as a health care member my partner.”

Immediately after, a shocked ‘Huuuuh!?’ voice came from the medical care tent. Standing there was a single girl with twintails, who for some reason wore a nurse uniform—Usami Masamune. Suddenly being called out, the girl was utterly baffled.

 

“Why did this happen…”

Next to the starting line, nurse Masamune muttered these words, as her shoulders dropped in defeat.

“Why are you even wearing those clothes?”

Indeed, Masamune was, for some reason, wearing your typical nurse uniform, adding the adorable nurse’s cap, and kneesocks. But, it looks more like a cosplay version than the real thing. No way a normal nurse uniform would have a skirt this short. Although it does look good on her, I can’t lie.

“I mean, I’m a member of the health care committee.”

“…Um, I don’t really get it.”

“You’re so annoying, stupid chicken! I don’t get it either! When working at the sports festival, the girls that are part of the health care committee have to wear these kinds of clothes! That’s how it was decided!”

“Decided…”

Who even decided on that? Not even Mary Antoinette would go for such a crazy stunt.

“It looks great on you, Usamin. That’s how health care committee members gotta look like!” Schrö-senpai commented, as she tied their legs together.

I see, so she’s the mastermind. With her position, that’s something she can achieve very easily. Right now, she’s like a queen after all.

“Vice club president, stop laughing like that. Also, why do I have to participate in this event?”

“Eh? Usamin, you didn’t like the cosplay?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Didn’t you like the idea of being seen in cosplay in front of a lot of people?”

“That makes even less sense!”

“You’re working at a maid cafe, right.”

“Ah…I-I wasn’t working there for this purpose…”

“Did you get excited at serving someone else?”

“No! I wanted to earn money! That’s the only reason I was working there! I didn’t apply there to serve other people, or wear cute clothes!”

“Hmm, don’t be so cold. I chose you because we’re in the same handicrafts club, and I know how fast you can run, is all.”

“T-That’s all…?”

“Also, I figured things would be a bit more spicy if I had you participate.”

“What?”

“Look around you. The guys are staring at you. Would stir up the audience a lot, right?”

“Wha—!” Steam started rising from Masamune’s head.

I can’t blame her. In the audience, large groups of guys were directing all their attention over towards Masamune. Really, what a sad reality this is. We adolescent boys really are simple beings. Of course, the girls were screaming in excitement at the fact that Subaru-sama was participating. I felt some faint gazes of killing intent directed at me, but I decided to ignore that. They’re probably dear members of the [S4]. Please don’t throw molotovs at me~

“I should have stayed at home today…”

“Don’t be so sad, everything will be fine. We can win this. I have confidence in my speed.”

“That’s why I’m worried. I feel like I’m being tied to a F1 car with shackles.”

“M-Moron, don’t praise me like that, it’s embarrassing.”

“I wasn’t praising you!”

“Well, don’t worry. Just leave it all to me. Not like our rivals are anything special.” She spoke with a provocative intonation.

Hearing that, my partner the butler let out a bothered ‘Hmpf’.

“I can’t really ignore that. Are you saying that we will lose?”

“Of course. Just to let you know, but I haven’t eaten since the day before yesterday. Basically, I’m a starving beast, so my motivation to snatch that bread is bigger than you could imagine.” After some confident phrase like that, Schrö-senpai’s stomach let out an adorable grumble.

……She’s an idiot alright. Not eating anything for the past two days is taking things too far, alright. Only she could come up with nonsense like that…

“What a coincidence. I haven’t eaten anything since the day before yesterday either.”

There’s another idiot right here! Not to mention that she’s my partner!?

“Huh, not bad. To think you’d arrive at the same tactics as I have.”

“Keep howling. I’ll teach you who gets to eat first.”

“Huh. Fight’s on, then.”

Sparks yet again flew between the two…Well, either way. In the end, it’s exactly as Schrö-senpai declared. The audience was more excited than ever, and the motivation of the participants rose all the same. To put it bluntly—the place was burning with passion beyond belief. Just simply because of Schrö-senpai’s participation, everybody was celebrating this event.

“All participants, have you finished your preparations?” Suzutsuki spoke up through the speakers.

Despite being noisy all this time, the audience suddenly grew silent in wait. And then…

“Then, the signal, please. The final group of the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race… starts…now!”

There, the pistol shot rang out at the same time as Suzutsuki finished her words. All of us participants started dashing at the same time.

“……!”

The moment I took that first step, my consciousness shook. However, our initial dash seemed to have worked out, as our position was ahead of the pack. That being said, relaxing would be fatal. My gynophobia was still going rampant, and just holding back my nosebleed was all I could do. We need to pass the goal as quickly as possible…!

“Bastard! Don’t run ahead of me!”

Behind us, I could hear an enraged anime voice. When I glanced backwards, I saw Schrö-senpai dashing after us like she was hunting her prey, and…Wait, hold on. The heck is that?

“V-Vice president, what kind of running is this!?”

“Hm? There’s no problem, right? We’re running three-legged.”

“How is this three-legged!?” The nasty rabbit complained.

I can’t blame her. Despite them running in the three-legged style, her leg did not touch the ground. Instead, it was more like two-legged but with two people. Schrö-senpai had Masamune cling to her neck, and ran along at full speed. It was a new type of running style that would even leave Usain Bolt shocked. That’s only possible because of Schrö-senpai’s insane physical abilities. Not to mention that she’s fast.

“Noooo! Let me down!!”

“Eh? Seriously? You’ll probably get dragged along if I do though?”

“I take it back! Just reach the goal quickly!”

“Leave it to me. Also, you’re clinging too hard. I mean, you got more than what you’re leading on, huh.”

“!?”

“C-cups?”

“Noooooo!?”

“Tsk, growing up like this. If I was a guy, I’d get a nosebleed.”

“Don’t be jealous now!” Even while having her bust size revealed, Masamune did not let up at all.

What a clever decision. If she let go of Schrö-senpai now, she’d be dragged through the dirt like a dust cloth. So that Schrö-senpai wouldn’t catch up easily, Konoe and I sped up too. Seems like our practice worked out pretty well. Then again, she’s not even really pressing her chest against me, and I can still feel the nosebleed coming.

After running along the track, we reached the bread-snatching area.

“Jirou, can I grab the bread?” Around five meters away from the hung up bread, Konoe said with an oddly terrifying expression.

“Got it. Which one are we aiming for?”

There’s five slices of bread. From the right, we have melon bread, anpan, cream bread, a hot dog bun, and finally the croissant. They sure put a lot of effort in the variety here alright.

“Hmm…Then, the anpan.”

“Got it.”

“Jirou, it’s going to be mine, okay? No stealing it from me at the last second, you hear me?” Subaru-sama looked at me like a blood-starved beast.

She’s hungry alright. Makes sense why she was staring up at the clouds, saying ‘Ahh, they look so sweet and delicious…’, huh. I was worried she was on some drug trip, but it was all just her empty stomach. I need to have her eat something alright. As going along with the rules of this race, we can’t use our hands. That means we had to finish eating the bread right here.

All focus went onto the anpan. I jumped as high as I could so that Konoe could grab the bread much easier.

“Woah!?”

However, we passed by the bread without being able to snatch it. I immediately understood the reason as to why we failed. The bread hung higher than we anticipated. Looking over, the thread of the anpan and croissant were a bit shorter than the rest. Must have been done intentionally to variate the difficulty, and to make things more exciting. That’s why Konoe could barely not reach the bread. Damn it, we have to switch the target then…

“Urk…I’m not giving up! Jirou! One more time!”

Do you want to eat the anpan that badly!? Konoe continued jumping like an energetic rabbit, but her attempts ended in vain. Konoe might be able to grab it simply relying on her own abilities, but we were in the middle of a three-legged race. All her abilities were pretty much halved. Maybe I should grab the bread after all? But, that way she can’t eat it…

“You’re slowing down, Junior!”

I heard Schrö-senpai’s scream in the distance, only to immediately be tackled by her, which led me to groan like a frog that just got stepped on. Damn it, to think she’d fight for a position in the bread-snatching part of all the places. Apparently she was in it for the anpan as well. However, Schrö-senpai is even smaller than Konoe, so how is she supposed to get it before us?

“I’m counting on you, Usamin!”

There, Schrö-senpai gave the responsibility to Masamune, surprisingly enough. She momentarily let down Masamune on the ground, only to jump after. Maybe it was thanks to her higher stature, or thanks to Schrö-senpai’s power, but Masamune managed to get this bread. But, why? Schrö-senpai should be hungry right now, so just giving the bread to Masamune…

“Usamin, turn over here.”

“Hm? Fef?”

There, Schrö-senpai apparently came up with something, as she turned her own face towards Masamune.

“Mmmm!?”

Immediately after, Masamune’s shocked voice rang out. Schrö-senpai bit into the bread on the opposite side of Masamune, and ripped it out of her mouth to chomp on it herself…Now she did it. She’s not using her hands like this, and thus is protecting the rules perfectly. Still, using this kind of pocky game method to steal the bread…!

“Ahaha! See you later, Subaru-sama! The anpan was delicious!” Schrö-senpai let out an arrogant voice, and started running towards the scavenger hunt area.

The pairs following managed to quickly snatch the bread, and passed us. This is bad, we’re not making any progress. My gynophobia is getting worse, and we’re reaching the time limit. Not to mention that all we have left is the croissant that’s hanging up the highest. Can’t help it. I feel bad for Konoe, but as I’m taller than her, I need to grab it first—

“What are you hesitating for, Jirou-kun?”

There, a dignified voice passed over the grounds to my ear. It’s Suzutsuki, and while keeping up her young lady smile, she continued.

“You just have to give her the bread just like Narumi-senpai did.”

“………”

No no no no, what are you saying out loud with speakers attached to your microphone? Even Konoe went all ‘Eh!?’ after hearing those words.

“It’s simple, right? Jirou-kun, you have to grab the bread, and then have Konoe eat it. It’s the same thing Narumi-senpai and Usami-san just did.”

Here comes Yamitsuki-san with an unexpected appearance! You plan to make me embarrass myself like this in front of the entire student body!? Of course, said students already figured out what Suzutsuki was talking about with these words, as I heard roars from the female portion. Half of them probably were the [Watch over Committee] who believed that Konoe and I were dating, and the latter was probably the [S4] who were busy writing my name into their death notes. Can’t blame them, this is no different than doing a pocky game. Worse of all, we had to do it with a small croissant.

“Jirou-kun, did you not realize that your nose has been bleeding for a while? Did you get hurt because of Narumi-senpai bumping into you just now?”

“!?”

Because of Suzutsuki’s declaration, only now did I realize that I was suffering from a nosebleed. Must have been because of my phobia. Oh yeah, I was wondering why I was feeling so dizzy for a while now. At least now nobody is suspicious of my nose bleed thanks to Suzutsuki’s follow up, but I can’t afford to collapse here…!

“…Shit.”

No other choice but to do it, huh. When I looked over at Konoe, she grew silent, only blushing. After thinking about it for a moment, she nodded.

“…A-Alright, let’s do this.” I responded with a quivering voice, and jumped for the croissant.

As expected, because of our difference in height, I easily managed to snatch it. The problem comes after.

“K-Konoe…”

With the croissant in my mouth, I turned my face towards Konoe. In doing so, she also approached the croissant, her face as red as a tomato. Because of this, I saw her antique doll-esque facial features right in front of me, as she accepted the croissant, and gulped it down.

“Kyaaaaaaaah!” A small portion of the audience raised shrieks like they had fallen to the pits of hell.

This might be the best possible material for their doujinshi, alright. Also w-w-was that an indirect kiss just now…?

“J-Jirou! Let’s go!” Konoe probably tried to hide her own embarrassment, as she forcefully started running.

…Yeah, I’ll just forget about that. This isn’t the time to be embarrassed. In order to not let my gynophobia get the better of me…! With that thought in mind, we ran for the scavenger hunt area. Luckily, many of the other pairs were standing there, lost on what to do. Seems like they got some impossible objects. Even the pair of Schrö-senpai and Masamune were standing there, Masmaune looking like she was about to break out in tears.

“Hurry up, Usamin! The goal is right over there!”

“Don’t wanna! I’m not doing this!”

“Come on, it’s not that hard! ‘The socks of the person you like’ is an easy object, right!”

“What perverted object is that supposed to be! Also, you made me pick this up, right!?”

“I figured it’d be fun!”

“Youuuuuu!”

“Come on, you must have someone you’re at least interested in, right?”

“T-That’s…” Masamune started blushing, and grew quiet.

With how hard it is for her to put trust into others, I can’t imagine that she has someone like that. She’ll probably be forced to use the pass.

“Konoe! Let’s hurry and pick one ourselves!”

We went for the cards that were still scattered on the floor. Oh man, I just hope it’s nothing too crazy…

“J-Jirou, I actually already picked one up…”

“Eh? Really?”

I looked over at Konoe, and saw a card in her hand. Seems like she already picked up one while I was paying attention to Schrö-senpai and Masamune. But, why is she so nervous? I was a bit confused, and looked at the writing on the card. There, it said—

‘The person you want to confess to’

…Weird. Is my gynophobia flaring up for good right now? I’m starting to see hallucinations.

“It appears as if Subaru pulled the ‘The person you want to confess to’ card.”

“Wha…!?”

A sudden announcement declared this fact to the audience. When I looked over towards the commentators, that rich lady was looking at us through binoculars, grinning. Ahh, she’s enjoying herself!

“Y-Young lady!”

“My, what’s wrong, Subaru? Why are you panicking like this?”

“B-Because…t-t-t-this object is…”

“Isn’t it simple?”

“!?” Butler-kun was shocked to hear these words.

The person she wants to confess to…Basically, well…the person she’s interested in, right? But, does Konoe have someone like that? After hearing about this, the audience grew even more noisy in excitement. It’s like I was part of some public demonstration.

“Uuuuu…” In the midst of that, Konoe bit her lip, and started thinking, only to eventually… “P-Pass!” Konoe threw away the card.

At the same time, you could hear screams of disappointment, but also sighs of relief in the audience. Great judgement. Fulfilling this scavenger hunt would be the same as doing a confession after all. She definitely can’t do such a thing, right…

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“…Huh?”

Why was I relieved there for a second?

“Jirou, you pick up the next one!” Konoe’s words pulled me back to reality.

That’s right, the most important right now is to cross the goal, so I have to focus. We can only use one pass, so I need to get the best possible card…!

“…This one!” I made up my mind and grabbed a single card.

‘The member of the opposite sex you’re most closest with’

“Are you kidding meeeee!?” I subconsciously screamed.

This is the worst. To think I would draw the one card that really only fuels my gynophobia.

“Fufu, this seems interesting. The card Jirou-kun drew says ‘The member of the opposite sex you’re most closest with’!”

Urk…

“You can’t use the pass anymore! I wonder what girl Jirou-kun will bring with him!”

“…Ugh.”

Yamitsuki-san, can you stop? Talking about the person I’m closest with as a female friend, that’s definitely Konoe, but if I took her with me now, they would figure out that she’s a girl.

“…Stupid chicken?”

Someone called out to me, and when I turned towards that voice, I saw Masamune looking at me. I mean, we’re pretty good friends, but dragging you along and revealing that we’re this close is just getting close to being publicly embarrassed.

“…Hurry up, Sakamachi Kinjirou.”

“!?”

To my shock, now even Schrö-senpai looked over at me, with an oddly profound gaze. Does she…No, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She sees me as an enemy, right. Also, you just focus on getting to the goal, alright.

“…Jirou, what will you do?”

Even my partner Konoe looked at me with a gaze full of anxiousness. Three gazes pierces me, as well as the entire audience having their attention directed at me.

“……”

…After a moment of thinking, I decided, and started running towards the person I had chosen.

“…Hmm? Nii-san, why are you coming over here?”

I reached the commentator’s tent, and grabbed my little sister’s arm, and walked to the goal to reach first place. This is the choice I’ve taken. I mean, my little sister is still someone from the opposite sex, right?

“…Chicken bastard.”

Amidst the vivid booing of the audience, I heard faint muttering coming from Suzutsuki…Damn it, just say whatever you want. I myself feel like I might have won the battle and lost the war, but this was the best possible choice I could take.

“…Hmpf.”

Even Konoe was glaring at me for some reason. Hey now, do I really need to explain myself why I didn’t pick you?

“Ehehe, Nii-san, I’m the girl you’re closest with, huh~” Kureha put both her hands on her cheeks, and smiled innocently.

Yeah, we really are close. We’ve known each other for more than ten years now. Although I’m pretty much just your punching bag.

“…Jeez.”

Anyway, this concludes the three-legged bread-snatching scavenger hunt race. It had a lot of ups and downs, but I at least managed to stay conscious until the very end.

“Ahh, what a blunder. So you ended up winning the preamble.”

As I was undoing the band tying my leg to Konoe’s, Schrö-senpai approached me. It seems like they used a different item and finished the race themselves.

“But, I’m not losing the special event, okay. You better be ready.”

“…Just what I wanted to hear.” I showed as much hostility as I could.

As long as we don’t win during the special event later, there’s no meaning to winning in the first place. For that, I practiced a lot after all.

“Ah, also…” Schrö-senpai suddenly whispered into my ear. “Right after lunch break starts, come to the infirmary. Of course, completely alone without anybody seeing you.”

“…Huh?” I froze up because of this sudden request.

However, I wasn’t given time to return a question, as Schrö-senpai walked away with a nonchalant ‘See ya!’.

“…Jirou? Did she tell you something just now?” Konoe called out to me.

“This will conclude the morning program of the sports festival. After a brief lunch break, we’ll move on with the program for the afternoon.”

A broadcast started playing, so I could only respond with ‘No, nothing…’ and looked away. I feel like that was the better choice just now.

“………”
At least the morning was over. However, because of the typhoon approaching, the sky slowly turned grey, and cloud formations started to build up.

 

“Yo, been waiting for ya!”

The second I opened up the door of the infirmary, an anime voice greeted me. Sitting on a chair, Schrö-senpai…wait, is that a multi-layered lunch box?

“Yo, let’s eat lunch together. You haven’t had anything yet, right? I made some lunch for us.”

“………”

Weird. Her attitude is completely different from before. Is she trying to poison me? Maybe there’s a weapon inside the box.

“? Are you being cautious of me or something?”

“…Well, of course.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m not gonna do anything. Come on over here, pss pss pss…” Schrö-senpai treated me like a stray cat as she called me over, clicking her tongue.

I’m not even a human being in her eyes?

“Sheesh, what’s going on? A cute girl is calling you over, so stop being scared.”

“Just to let you know, but I don’t think a so-called cute girl would half-destroy a classroom.”

“Eh…r-really? But…my name is pretty cute, right?”

“You think your own name is cute!?”

It’s Narumi Schrödinger, you know!? How would you even think about that!?

“N-No way, it’s not cute at all?”

“Of course. How did you even get the name Schrödinger.”

“That’s…the name my father came up with…”

“…So, is your father German? That name sounds like it has a German heritage, right?”

“No, he’s a proper native Japanese.”

“Then why Schrödinger!?”

“Urk…Well, my old man is a bit weird, okay.” Schrö-senpai started sulking for some reason.

Oh yeah, her father was the president of the manufacturer who produced all these Silent Sheep, right. It makes sense that his personality would be a bit over the rainbow.

“Uuu…How dare you make fun of my name…”

“Wah, don’t just start crying! That makes it seem like I’m the bad guy!”

“But…but…waaaaah!”

“Ahh, don’t cry!”

“I’ll sue you! I’ll report you, saying ‘This Onii-chan hurt me!’, just you wait!”

“I get it already! I’ll come eat lunch with you so stop crying!” When I screamed these words, Schrö-senpai wiped her tears away with a weeping ‘…Really?’ for no reason.

…What is this. Why’s she suddenly so adorable? Because of her small stature, as long as you ignore her endless strength and violent tendencies, she’s almost like a doll. Of course, I’m definitely not a lolicon.

“Alright, then come over here! It’s food time!”

“You’re quick to get back on your feet, huh…” I commented, and sat down on the chair next to the desk.

“Fufu, don’t fall off your chair! I brought some special lunch with me today!”

“I can tell as much.”

It’s a multi-layered box. Not to mention the same one Nakuru brought with her during that date last summer break. Maybe she’s as good at cooking as her little sister? I mean, look at those four layers. When Schrö-senpai opened the first layer, I was greeted by cream puffs. The second layer offered…cream puffs. So did the third layer…and the fourth layer…

“…It’s all cream puffs!?”

“Always has been~ I just love them, you know.” Schrö-senpai smiled innocently, and bit into a cream puff, her cheeks filling with cream.

Hmmm, she really doesn’t look like a high school girl.

“What’s wrong, are you not going to eat?”

“I mean, I am hungry, but…why are you doing this?”

“Because I love cream puffs.”

“That’s not what I meant! I fully get how much you love cream puffs!”

“Name’s Narumi Schrödinger, I love cats and cream puffs.”

“Cats!?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not eating them. I love cats because they’re cute. We’re having the cat in a bowl trend right now, but I’m waiting for the cat in a lunch box boom.”

“I really doubt that kind of boom will come soon…But, leaving that aside. I was wondering why you called me here.”

“It’s not that weird, is it?”

“It sure is. You treated me like your archnemesis. Also while I’m at it, but I didn’t actually do anything to your little sister.”

“Yup, I know that.”

“…What?”

She…knows? Why did she suddenly agree to that? I can’t follow. If she knew about the truth, why was she so dead-set on fighting me?

“The thing is, Sakamachi Kinjirou.” Schrö-senpai licked her lips, and continued talking. “To be honest, when I punched you in that classroom, I somewhat understood that you didn’t do anything to my little sister.”

“Wha…”

Why? Before I could ask that question, Schrö-senpai laughed like a detective that had just seen through the case.

“I mean, you totally seem like some chicken bastard.”

“!”

“That’s what I thought the first time I saw you. You didn’t feel like the type of guy who would lay their hands on a girl without their consent.”

“………”

“Well, that was just my intuition working. And? Was I right?”

“…H-Haha, I wonder…” I answered awkwardly, but sweat already started building on my cheek.

Narumi Schrödinger is a terrifying person. Is this the intuition of a wild beast? I didn’t expect her to catch on to my disposition just like this. Then again, she doesn’t know about my gynophobia, I bet.

“…”

But, why? Why did she attack me despite knowing that I didn’t do anything?

“…Sorry about that.” There, Schrö-senpai suddenly gave me an odd apology. “It was…all for Nakuru’s sake.”

“Nakuru’s sake?”

“Yeah. You might have already realized, but we’re not necessarily close. Or rather, she’s bad at dealing with me.”

“Well, I could sort of see that in her attitude.”

“I know it’s not exactly something I should say, but I’m fairly talented at sports, and I have pretty good grades, as a secret between us. Because of that, she’s always been raised in comparison to me, ever since she was a small child. Constantly being made fun of, bullied, you know the drill.”

“……”

Well, I get what she’s talking about. With good senses like that, and a clever head, she’s also pretty popular looking at the audience’s reaction just now. If I had to guess, Nakuru grew up while always looking at Schrö-senpai. Of course, all the while being compared to her.

“See, this is what I’m like. Hearing that my little sister is getting bullied, I couldn’t sit still, and beat up everybody involved. I tried to be a reliable older sister, and tell her that I’d protect her, but…that only weighed down on her more it seems.” Schrö-senpai said, as she sighed.

“Basically…it’s a complex?”

A complex to herself because of the talented older sister she has. It’s not like Nakuru is particularly inferior to anybody, but she also can’t exactly compete with someone like Senpai. I can understand what she’s going through, I can’t compare to my little sister and her athletic talent.

“You never thought it was weird? She was using very formal language with me. Even though we’re blood-related sisters.”

“………”

“She’s probably adapted to the thought that she can’t win against me. That’s why she always feels apologetic in any given situation. She feels pathetic because she can’t compare. Thinking that on top of being inferior, she even has to be protected….and all that.”

“……”

“But, we can’t keep going like this. At this rate, she’ll never be confident, always thinking that she’s inferior to me, as she lives her own life. I don’t want that. I don’t want this kind of life for my little sister. Not to mention…”

“…Not to mention?”

“No, forget about that. To put it simply, I want Nakuru to grow. Of course, not in the physical way.”

“I knew that.”

“Not her breasts either, okay?”

“I said I knew that!”

She sure is obstinate about this. Does she have a complex about her loli appearance by any chance?

“Well, that’s basically why.” She let out a sigh, and looked at me. “I know I’m being selfish here, but I want your help.”

“…Help?”

What’s this about? How would me and Schrö-senpai fighting be of help for Nakuru?

“Fufufu, don’t you worry, I’m not asking you to help me for free!”

She fully ignored me being lost in thought, walked towards one of the beds in the infirmary, and pointed at the curtains that were currently closed.

“Now, open it up. You’ll be surprised.”

“……?” I tilted my head in confusion, and opened up the white curtains.

Is she offering me some reward or something? Is it going to be more cream puffs…?—As it turns out, they were not cream puffs. It was Usami Masamune in her nurse uniform, tied up with a rope.

“……” I was too baffled to even react.

Masamune must have realized that we opened the curtains, as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. However, she could not tell me anything because her mouth was gagged……Usamin looked at you like she wanted to become your ally. Will you make her your ally?

“……”

For now, I acted like I didn’t see anything, and closed the curtains again. I heard some faint ‘Mghhhh!’ from across the fabric, but I decided to ignore that while being terrified.

“Big surprise, right?” Schrö-senpai let out an innocent laugh.

Well, you really did surprise me, alright…

“Schrö-senpai, I have one question.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“What exactly is this about?” I pointed at the bed that continued to shake.

“Hmmm.” Schrö-senpai thought about it for a moment. “Did that make you happy?”

“Like hell it did! You really thought that would make me happy!?”

“I mean, it’s a tied-up nurse, right?”

“Don’t give me that! Why are you tying up a nurse!”

“It’s an early present from Santa Schrödinger.”

“I’d just wake up with a trauma if you put that below my pillow!”

That’s a nightmarish present. Is she involved in human trafficking? I feel Suzutsuki did something similar to Konoe before. I opened up the curtain again, and freed Masamune from her predicament. In doing so, she coughed a few times, and then glared at me.

“Stupid chicken! Why did you close the curtains!?”

“Well, I just needed to process that.”

“Do that after saving me!”

“Sorry, sorry. Also, why are you even here?”

“Like hell I know! When I came here after the three-legged race to bring some more stuff to the medic care tent, the club vice president called out to me, and then…!” Masamune bit her lip.

I see, so she was captured and tied up, huh.

“Now now, Usamin, don’t be so angry. Here, have a cream puff.” Schrö-senpai flashed an innocent smile, and gave Masamune a cream puff.

However, Masamune just averted her face with a pout.

“I don’t want that. Why did you even tie me up?”

“Hmm, don’t be so angry, I actually wanted your help with something.”

“My help?” Masamune was confused, to which Schrö-senpai grinned.

“I want Sakamachi Kinjirou to help me, so ask him in my stead.”

“Huh!? Why would I do that! Why do I have to ask that stupid chicken so that he helps you!?”

“Ah, you don’t remember? Didn’t you say you’d listen to whatever I say after losing against me?”

“Urk…you’re right about that…” Masamune let out a defeated sigh.

Did they have a battle behind the scenes?

“You seem like you’re confused, so let me tell you. When she was a first-year, she picked a fight with me.”

“Why a fight?”

“She learned of the handicraft club’s activities, and got angry. Apparently she wanted to join a normal club. I told her to just join, but the anger got the better of her, and she attacked me.”

“……”

“So, just having a brawl would be boring, which is why we added the condition that the loser has to listen to whatever the winner has to say. Naturally, I won by a landslide.” Schrö-senpai puffed out her chest in pride.

I see, that’s why Masamune ended up under Schrö-senpai. Now I also get why she joined the handicrafts club. Though it’s a bit surprising to hear that she wanted to join a normal club.

“You really went and picked a fight with her, huh.”

“C-Can you blame me? She doesn’t look strong at all.”

“Ahh, well, judging from her looks.”

She looks like a grade school girl after all, and since Masamune was in a karate club before, she probably didn’t think she would lose like that.

“But, that’s where all the misfortune started…Ever since then, I couldn’t quit the handicrafts club…”

“Ahaha! Maybe ‘cause it’s fun? We also do some handicraft work from time to time.”

“You need to emphasize that from time to time, okay.” Masamune dropped her shoulders with a melancholic sigh, whereas Schrö-senpai just laughed with all her heart.

Hmm, looking at them like this, they seem like a good combination.

“Not to mention that we’re good friends right, Usamin. We went shopping together before.”

“Wah…vice club president!”

For some reason, Masamune started panicking because of Schrö-senpai’s words. What’s this?

“Schrö-senpai, what did you buy together?”

“Wha…Stupid chicken! You shut up for now!”

“Come on, Usamin. It’s not that big of a deal~” Schrö-senpai grinned for a moment, and continued. “We bought underwear.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Did you not hear me? We bought underwear. Lingerie, you feel me. Usamin wanted some cute stuff, so I helped her pick.”

“V-Vice president!” Masamune panicked even more.

Judging from that reaction, what Schrö-senpai said seems to be true. But…underwear? Didn’t she clearly choose the wrong person for that? Why would Masamune ask Schrö-senpai? I feel like anybody else would have been better…

“Hey, Sakamachi Kinjirou, why are you looking so confused? I have quite mature interests, you know.”

“M-Mature…”

“Put frankly, black.”

“Black!?”

“Hm…Why are you having trouble believing me? Would you like to confirm?”

“Wah!? Why are you talking off your spats!?”

“Ahaha, don’t take everything so seriously, I was joking. Well, I was telling the truth regarding the color though.” With her spats lowered to her knees, Schrödinger-san flapped her jersey sleeves up and down.

I-I don’t believe it. This loli is wearing black underwear…I can’t imagine that at all. Though, it might actually work well as a gap…

“You should have bought some more mature underwear too, Usamin.”

“No thanks. The ones you recommended to me are way too flashy. You should just wear child’s underwear too.”

“S-Shut up! Do you have a problem with my fashion sense!?”

“I sure do. You’re a child, so even if you wear mature underwear, you’re still just a small brat. Not to mention that for now…”

“Waaaaaah! Shut up! I forbid you to speak any further! If not, I’ll reveal your new underwear right here!”

“Ah, wha, what are you doing!?”

Schrö-senpai suddenly grabbed Masamune’s skirt, who was desperately trying to protect it. What did she mean by ‘For now?’. I was curious, but I feel like I shouldn’t be asking right now. Everybody has some secrets they don’t want other people to find out after all. It must be something like that. Look at Schrö-senpai panicking too.

“Okay, I get it! I won’t say that anymore! I’ll keep your secret locked up inside my chest, so you let go of my skirt already!” Masamune immediately gave up, and surrendered.

Hearing this, Schrö-senpai let out an awkward ‘R-Really?’, and removed her hands from Masamune’s skirt.

“I won’t forgive you if you’re lying. I’ll tell him about the underwear and the color you bought before.”

“Don’t threaten me like that…Also, didn’t you bring me here so that I could persuade the stupid chicken?”

“Ah, right.”

“You forgot!? Also, why did you even choose me for that?” Masamune showed a dubious expression.

Oh yeah. Why did it have to be Masamune for that? Both she and I were confused, waiting for Schrö-senpai’s response.

“Eh? I mean…” She showed a somewhat nonchalant attitude. “Usamin’s Sakamachi Kinjirou’s type, right.”

“Huuh!?” I let out a roar in bewilderment.

Eh? The hell is up with that? Why would Masamune be up my alley? Where did she get that information from…

“Kureha told me. ‘Nii-san likes tsunderes, you know’, see.”

“Don’t just believe everything she says!”

“Eh? So she’s wrong?”

“Well, that’s…”

“Hmmm? So she’s not wrong~?”

“…!”

That damn Kureha. She must have used the porn magazines in my room as reference. One of them was some magazine with a stupid title like ‘Tsundere Ratio 8:2…No, 9:1! The golden ratio!’, but why is she telling other people about this…!

“S-Stupid chicken…Y-Y-Y-You…”

Most terrifying of all is the single girl standing next to me. Her nasty rabbit attitude had vanished elsewhere, as she instead looked at me in shock.

“C-Calm down, Masamune!”

“But…I’m your type…?”

“Kureha just talked some nonsense there!”

“…Eh? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s not true at all!”

“…Really?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t go back on my word like this!”

“……Then, tell me. What kind of girl is your type?”

“Why are you suddenly asking me that!?”

What kind of jump in topic is that!? Not to mention that Schrö-senpai jumped in, saying ‘Ohh, that sounds interesting’…Yeah, this is bad. I need to change the topic immediately!

“A-Anyway, leaving that aside! You called me and Masamune here because you wanted my help, right? Then, let’s talk things out. I’ll help you, alright.” I forcefully changed the topic.

“Eh, really?” Schrö-senpai bit on to my words.

…Thank god it worked. I seem to have succeeded in hiding my interests in tastes for now.

“…Mmm.”

However, Masamune was clearly pouting, bothered by this. Why are you looking like this? What do you gain from learning about my tastes?

“So, Schrö-senpai, what should I do?”

Anything is fine, just get me away from this previous topic. Those were my thoughts when I asked that.

“Hmm, then answer me one question.”

“A question?”

“That’s right. It’s a simple question, so be honest with me, Sakamachi Kinjirou.” There, she spoke with an oddly serious tone, and continued. “Do you have a girl you like right now?”

“……”

…Was that just my imagination? I feel like we jumped over several steps there. Even Masamune was looking at Schrö-senpai in shock.

“Now, be honest and tell me. Love talk time. We’re high school students, so everybody has a person they set their eyes on, right?”

“U-Um…”

“Why are you hesitating like that? Ah, is what Nakuru is writing in these novels actually…”

“No! Absolutely not! I like girls, okay!”

“Then why? Did yours rot off already?”

“Don’t say terrifying nonsense like that!”

I’m not even in my twenties, I have plenty of lust and desires inside of me. But, with my gynophobia, I just can’t fall in love with another girl. That’s the big premise inside of me. First comes fixing, and then I can think about love.

“Hmm, I’ll just take it that you’re not particularly interested in anybody.”

“W-Well, I guess.”

“I see. Then, no problems there.”

“……?”

I failed to grasp what she was talking about. Why are there no problems? Oh yeah, she was oddly interested in my relationship with girls back during the three-legged race…

“Listen well, Sakamachi Kinjirou. What I’m about to say comes from my intuition as an older sister.” Schrödinger-san calmly continued. “My little sister, Narumi Nakuru, has probably fallen for you.”