Mayo Chiki!

Attack! Butler-kun is next to me

Let me start from the conclusion. Despite being utterly exhausted, I still somehow managed to finish all my cleaning duties. After that incident in the bath, I quickly regained my consciousness, and Suzutsuki (who was wearing clothes already, sadly) told me to continue my work. The residence itself was terrifyingly big, but since it was constantly kept at a clean state, it really wasn’t that much work after all.

Though, I finished my work at roughly 9pm in the evening. All other servants except me had already concluded their dinner, so it meant dinner for one, all alone. However, I was hungry as all hell from work, so I headed over to the kitchen, but…

“Good work.”

Upon entering the kitchen, I was greeted by an expressionless Ichigo-san. That’s right, this yandere maid is the big problem. I’m worried if she even gives me something to eat.

“What about the work uniform you received from Kanade-ojousama? Did you take it off?”

“Sure did. I was just sweating profusely beneath that.”

That was a blank lie. I wasn’t sweating that much at all, but I took it off on the way here, and put it on my tent. As long as Ichigo-san has access to that cursed remote, wearing that costume runs the risk of me being treated like a damn toy. Though, it took a lot of time and suffering to find the right button to open the zipper.

“That reminds me, how did cleaning the bath go?”

“Well, right after you left, the young lady came out of the changing room, saying ‘I’ll be using the bath for a while, so you don’t need to clean it right now’, and stopped me.”

“I see.” The eyepatch maid looked disappointed from the bottom of her heart.

Naturally, that just now was another lie. If I told her about what really happened in the bath, it’ll be chainsaw time. Not to mention that Suzutsuki asked me to keep that a secret as well.

“Well, whatever. Are you hungry?”

“…Quite.”

“YES. I will prepare your dinner.” She said, and moved towards the fridge, with the door opening.

What she took out was…

“I got this just for you.”

Beef jerky. However, the dog food version.

“……”

Calm down, I expected as much. However, how can I get some proper dinner?

“Do you really call yourself the chef’s replacement?”

For starters, I tried to use her own pride against her, and stirred her up. Judging from what I heard thanks to Suzutsuki’s intel, she’s not half bad when it comes to cooking, so if I hurt her chef’s soul…

“Provocation is futile. I received orders to do this.”

“Orders? From the young lady?”

“NO. He’s my senior, and superior.”

“…The old man.”

“YES. Nagare-san told me a lot about you. Before he left, he told me the following. ‘If some dumb and shitty brat with glasses comes to our residence, I don’t mind if you treat him like a dog’, see.”

That damn helicopter parent. I doubt he predicted that my home would burn down, but he sure is careful even when it comes to his own place. Also, who are you calling dumb?

“However, I didn’t think you would become a temporary servant here.” Ichigo-san gave me a sharp glance.

Yeah, I really feel like she hates me. That being said, if I don’t fight back, my dinner will be dog food. I don’t want to become an actual dog, so I need to say something.

“Rest assured.” To my surprise, Ichigo-san showed me her palm. “I’ll properly treat you to something today. You’re Kanade-ojousama’s friend after all, right?”

“…Ichigo-san.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not being considerate or anything, I’ll just make you some dinner for Kanade-ojousama’s sake.” Ichigo-san walked towards the fridge again.

…What, she’s a normal person after all? I guess even a murder weapon-holding yandere maid is a good person deep down. There are no demons in this world after all. Warmth exists in every corner…

“Let me tell you one thing.” Ichigo-san turned towards me. “There’s a certain trick to eating what I’m about to serve you.”

“Trick?”

“YES. Two minutes in the microwave. As long as you can keep that in mind, it’ll be delicious.”

She threw something at me. I panicked a bit and caught it, and it turned out to be the one household food that was mostly used by boys living alone, done in a matter of minutes and enjoyed for aeons…instant ramen.

“……”

Even I got pissed off now.

“Call the chef!” I screamed like a Karen.

“I am the chef now.” Ichigo-san puffed out her chest.

I seriously thought of changing my work place.

That being said, I can’t just head off to Hello Work right now. That’s why I could only protest with Ichigo-san, but when I asked for improvement at my work treatment, Ichigo-san complained with ‘Want more? Greedy’, and threw a sugar cube at me. I feel like this is a beautiful example of power harassment. Of course, the ramen isn’t at fault. On the contrary, we’re best friends, but it’s just not enough.

After I reluctantly ate nothing but the instant ramen, I tried to deal with my still empty stomach, and made my way back to the tent. It was currently half past 9 in the evening. Well, I can only sleep, really. I had a sleeping bag in the tent, so I should be safe from the cold at least. What’s most problematic is my empty stomach. I’m terrified of what I’ll be served tomorrow morning, but worrying about it won’t do me any good. Maybe the starry sky will magically fill my stomach?

With these thoughts, I opened up the tent, but—Konoe Subaru was inside. Not to mention that she was wearing the costume I previously had taken off.

“……”

Are you serious, Subaru-sama? Do you want…bigger breasts that badly?

“Jirou!? Y-You’re wrong, there’s a reason for this!”

She caught on to my arrival, and started panicking. Oh crap, that costume is so adorable. She looked like a small puppy resting inside the tent. I feel like this might create some new kind of movement?

“Calm down. Why are you even wearing this?”

“W-When I saw you wear it…I was jealous.” She looked at me like a puppy, pleading to its owner.

Was she that desperate to wear it? Well, considering her interests and taste, I’m not surprised.

“Not to mention…you were wearing this the entire time, Jirou.”

“Eh?”

“No, it’s nothing! Don’t mind me! Just…”

“Just?”

“I tried it on, but now I can’t take it off…”

“Did you not listen to Suzutsuki’s explanation just now? Once you pull up the zipper, you can’t take it off yourself.”

“D-Don’t make fun of me! I was listening properly! Also, the young lady previously told me where the right button is, but…” Konoe suddenly grew silent.

If I had to guess, she probably forgot which button did what. She really is careless at times. With so many different functions, she probably was scared to activate something weird.

“What should I do, Jirou, do I have to stay like this forever? What if I press the wrong button, and it’ll start massaging my ni…breasts…” Konoe’s body quivered like a puppy freezing in the cold.

Yeah, a nipple massage definitely is terrifying. However, a part of me also wants to see Subaru-sama on the receiving end like that…

“Well, can’t do that though.”

“Can’t do what?”

“Nothing. Just me talking to myself. Anyway, I know which button you have to press, so I’ll take it off for you.”

“T-Take it off!?”

“Why are you panicking like this?”

“B-Because…!” Konoe blushed furiously, and suddenly grew silent.

……Don’t tell me, did she take off her clothes before this? I directed my gaze towards the corner of the tent, only to find a beautifully folded butler’s uniform. Isn’t she thorough…even though she could have just worn the costume above that.

“Alright, I’ll tell you which button it is, so go change later. Also, did you only come here to wear the costume?”

“Hmpf, you’re wrong about that. I figured that the night would be cold, so I brought you some refreshment.”

“Refreshment!?”

My empty stomach was screaming ‘Hallelujah!’ in joy. Great timing. Konoe might not be the best cook, but I can at least expect some calories!

“Here, it’s black tea. I made sure to keep it warm inside this canteen.” Konoe took out the mentioned canteen, as well as two cups.

Urk…So it’s not food. Well, when you think of a butler, you tend to imagine tea…However, black tea isn’t going to fill my empty stomach. Ahh, I can’t be thinking about my empty stomach…

“…Jirou, should I not have done this?” Konoe gave me an anxious gaze, with dampened eyes.

Waaah, don’t look at me like that. Of course, she’s not to blame. She did this solely out of pure and benevolent intentions. What man would I be if I rejected this kindness?

“Of course not. I’m looking forward to having a taste of your tea.”

“R-Really? I’m actually pretty confident when it comes to my cooking.”

Konoe must have been relieved at my smile, as her expression lit up like a puppy’s allowed to go for a walk, as she poured some tea into a cup. Confident, huh…Thinking of Konoe’s cooking skill, I’m a bit scared to touch that…

“Here you go, Jirou.”

However, I also can’t betray this smile. Slightly scared, I put my mouth to the cup, and took a sip.

“…Hm?”

Huh? This is actually not half bad…No, it’s pretty good, honestly. I don’t really drink black tea that often so I can’t really tell, but this warmth filling my body was kind yet delicious. I didn’t expect Konoe to have this kind of skill.

“Hehe, how is it?”

“Yeah, it’s delicious.”

“Right? I’m amazing after all.”

“It’s been quite some time since you showed me that you really are a butler.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Dear costume butler-kun pouted.

“Sorry, sorry. But, this tea really is great.”

“Y-You think so? I’m glad you like it, I guess it’s just as the young lady said.”

“Was this Suzutsuki’s plan?”

“Yeah, she said ‘Go and do a nightly raid on Jirou-kun’, you know.”

Pffffft! I spit out the rest of the tea in my mouth.

“What’s wrong? A nightly raid is what you call when you give someone else provisions for the night, right? The young lady taught me.”

That damn Devil Suzutsuki, she went and started teasing the pure-hearted Konoe. I just pray that Konoe doesn’t go to Kureha tomorrow, saying that ‘Last night, I raided Jirou-kun’. It’ll cause a murder scene at this very Suzutsuki Residence, with me as the victim. And right as I was thinking that…

—Grooooooooowl.

Sadly, even the black tea didn’t fill my stomach enough. My stomach was screaming SOS. Mayday, mayday, we’re running low on calories.

“Huh? Jirou, are you hungry?”

“W-Well, a bit.”

“Why? Didn’t you eat dinner after you finished your work?” There, Konoe’s eyes opened wide, and her facial color changed to dark blue. “It must have been Ichigo’s doing, right? Sorry, Jirou, I didn’t expect this.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re not at fault.”

“By the way, what was your menu?”

“Uhhh…sugar cubes and instant ramen.”

“S-So cruel…! If that happened to me, I’d cause a labour strike…!”

If anything, I feel like you’d burn down this place. A hungry butler sounds like end of the world material.

“Apologies, Jirou. I should have brought you something else to eat when I entered the kitchen with the young lady.”

“…Why did you enter together with her?”

“T-That’s…because…”

“…Are you still banned from the kitchen?”

I feel like she mentioned something like that when we made curry together during last summer break. To think that was still a thing almost a month later.

“W-What am I supposed to do!? Also, it should be fine even if I walked in there myself…Ah, I know, I’ll bring something to eat for you.”

“Right now!? Maybe you shouldn’t, you’ll only get an earful if someone sees you.”

“Urk…” Konoe grit her teeth. “If only I could enter the kitchen alone…Maybe there’s something else to eat…” The butler twisted her head.

Leaving the residence to buy something this late is also questionable. There didn’t seem to be any convenience stores nearby, so I can only deal with my empty stomach.

“…Ah.”

There, Konoe seemed to have come up with something.

“What’s up? Got anything good?”

“W-Well…yeah…”

For some reason, she sounded awfully bashful. And I soon found out why.

“…Jirou.” She seemingly made up her mind, and looked at me. “Won’t you…come to my room?”

“T-Thanks for the food.”

I finished the last bite of the cup ramen (Super *up), and put down the chopsticks with tense hands.

“I-It was delicious, thanks.”

“Y-Yeah, glad to hear that…”

Apparently, Konoe seemed just as tense as me, nodding while still wearing the costume. That’s right, we currently were in Konoe Subaru’s private room. It was my first time seeing it from the inside.

“Still, I didn’t think you’d be hiding cup ramen in your room.”

“Hmpf, don’t blame me. I can’t really eat that much in this place. They talk about it being bad nutrition.”

“That’s why you even have a pot ready?”

“W-What about it!? I can’t eat it cold!”

I mean, you’re not wrong. But even so, hiding cup ramen beneath your bed, that sure surprised me. I mean, I did something similar back in May, but to think she took this much liking to cup ramen.

“Also, you have a lot of plush toys, huh.”

“Yeah, they’re cute, right?”

“Well, um, I guess…” I didn’t know what to say.

You can’t blame me for that, because when I looked at all the plush toys inside the room…it was all Silent Sheep. All plush toys that looked like a certain doctor from a certain movie. Its aggressive design was one thing, and yet it sold like hot potatoes for some reason.

“When I asked Nakuru-chan, she gave me lots. Her father is the company president of the manufacturer, remember?”

That damn glasses junkie. She probably planned to get on Konoe’s good side, by offering her bait in the form of these Silent Sheep plush toys. You shouldn’t feed the butler, remember? Then again, taking away the plush toys, it was your average room.

“……!”

Not good, becoming aware that this was a girl’s room, I’ve gotten nervous again. It’s totally obvious, but I never had any chance to enter such holy ground. If I even accidentally barged into my little sister’s room, she’d use this as a reason to give me a pro wrestling lesson, and although I did go to Masamune’s room, I was nervous because of the whole ghost thing. That’s why I can’t help but tense up right now. After all, this undoubtedly is Konoe Subaru’s home.

“J-Jirou, why don’t we play something since you’re here already?” Konoe asked with an uncertain tone.

Yeah, it’s still a bit early to head to bed. Not to mention that Konoe and I are good friends, so playing something when it’s just the two of us wouldn’t hurt.

“Alright. You have any idea?”

“I do have a W*i with me.”

“A W*i!?”

Why does a butler have such a modern game console here!? No, she’s a high school student, it’s not weird at all.

“What games do you have?”

“Momotetsu1.”

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to like such a commoner game. What else?”

“No, just Momotetsu.”

“…W-Well, fine. I guess you just like it that much? I often play it with Kureha.”

However, she would often break the controller, or pull some dangerous wrestling technique on me, so I try to avoid playing it. It evokes a strong trauma within me every time. However, Momotetsu is a popular game with a large and old fanbase, so to spend a bit of time, it should be just fine…

“…No can do. This isn’t enough of a contest.”

“What? Do you not know the controls or something?”

Konoe can be quite clumsy after all. Buying it is one thing, but maybe the controls are just beyond her.

“No, the difference in technique between the two of us is too big.”

“Huh?”

“My playtime of Momotetsu is about 300 hours.”

“300!?”

“I got hooked on it when I was playing it alone.”

“You were playing Momotetsu solo!?”

“D-Don’t make fun of me! Momotetsu is a game you can enjoy on your own!”

“But, 300 hours is just…”

“…W-Well I’m sorry, okay? I never got a chance to bring a friend over from school, and inviting the young lady while being her butler is a bit…” Konoe started sulking like a puppy that had its food stolen from it.

Oh yeah, she didn’t have any friends until she met me. Still, not even playing with her own master, she sure is diligent about her work. But then, why didn’t she ask her old man? They’re family, right.

“By the way, I thought of inviting Dad, but decided against it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want him to enter my room.”

“………”

It was a prime example of a child growing up independently from their parents. I know how exhausting the old man can be, and although she might be crossdressing as a man, Konoe is still a girl, and at a very delicate age.

“When he walked into my room, he was so moved he started crying.”

“Why!?”

“He’s gotten quick to bawling compared to before, and even started crying when watching ‘P*nyo on the Cliff’.”

“Was that movie such a tearjerker!?”

“Apparently he sympathized with P*nyo’s father a lot.”

“……”

“Let him be, Jirou. He’s at a delicate age.” Konoe showed a distant gaze.

That old fart would cry simply by walking inside his daughter’s room? What happens if she goes and gets married? The marriage ceremony will turn to his funeral. Or rather, after calling the groom, he’ll probably end himself, and still go up to heaven.

“That being the case, Momotetsu is no good…Let’s play a different game.”

“A different game?”

“It’s the one you and the young lady did when we went to the beach.”

“Hmm…”

Is she talking about the game where we write things on each other’s backs? I don’t mind, but…

“Why that?”

“W-Why’s it matter! I always wanted to play this!”

“R-Really? Then, let’s do it.”

I couldn’t go against Konoe’s pushy attitude. I didn’t expect her to be this into this game, really. Maybe it’ll help with my gynophobia as well.

“…Alright, I’ll go along with the young lady’s manual…”

“What?”

“No, it’s nothing. Let’s hurry up and start.”

Konoe immediately moved around me, turning towards my back. Eh? Wouldn’t you play rock paper scissors first? However, Konoe already put her finger on my back. Is it just my imagination, or are her fingers quivering?

“T-Then, I’m starting…” She said, and her fingers started moving.

Li.

“Li?”

Li…Lie? What does that have to do with anything?

“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! I’m not done yet!”

“Really?”

“Yeah…this is what’s important.”

“……”

I felt an odd pressure directed at my back. Hey now, why are you so desperate? Just have fun…with the game. It’s like I’m being interrogated instead.

“H-Here I go…” She moved her finger again.

ke.

“…ke?”

It was probably a continuation of the previous word, but…

“Urk…!” I heard a groan coming from Konoe, and her fingers moved one more time.

lihood.

“…Likelihood2?”

“C-Correct…” Konoe’s voice was filled with frustration.

If anything, it sounded like she was cursing to herself. Why is she such a sore loser? It’s like she lost her victory at a hair’s width.

“…Jirou, let’s stop with this game.”

“Eh? We barely started, right?”

“Sorry, the hurdle is too big for me.”

“……”

I have no idea what she’s talking about. Was she that frustrated that I guess what she was writing? I mean, that’s her fault for using such a simple word. Not to mention that this ended so quickly, my gynophobia wasn’t even flaring up.

“What should we do? Play cards?”

“No can do, I don’t have any here. Also, let’s stop with the games.”

“Eh?”

“The games—are over.”

“Why’re you trying to sound cool now?”

“S-Shut up! I was trying to set the mood!” Konoe pouted in displeasure, and stood up like she made up her mind about something. “I’ll help you fix it.”

“Fix…you mean my gynophobia?”

“You wouldn’t want to stay that way forever, right? You said that you couldn’t enter a relationship with a girl after all…”

“Well, I did say that…”

Then again, what will you do? Without Suzutsuki around, there’s no effective program to fix my gynophobia, right?

“No need to worry. I already have a plan in mind.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. However…in order to execute that plan, I need a bit of courage.” Konoe sounded awfully serious all of a sudden.

As I was left confused on what she was even doing, she took out a remote from her pocket. It was the remote belonging to the costume. Without hesitation, she pressed a single button there, namely the one I told her about a few minutes ago, which unlocked the zipper to take off the costume, and…

“…! Konoe!?”

With no resistance whatsoever, the costume slid down Konoe’s body.

“Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“Don’t panic like that, this is all for the sake of your treatment.”

“That’s clearly too stimulating if you ask me!”

You don’t need to use your own body like that…After the costume fell to the ground, I could see her slender, almost thin legs, together with her squishy thighs, and snow white underwear. Her feminine body was right in my view—

“…Hm?”

Rather than underwear, this looks more like a swimsuit.

“It’s fine, this is just a swimsuit. I figured that maybe this could help cure your gynophobia, so I put it on today. It’s the same one as I wore at the beach, remember?”

“Yeah, but…why did you not want to take it off in the tent, then?”

“I told you, this method needs courage. And, I hadn’t mentally prepared myself back then…” Konoe spoke with a bashful tone.

Damn it, what are these feelings? I’m having flashbacks from the same thing happening back at Masamune’s place. Why is it always a bikini, are you trying to kill me…

“More importantly…Jirou.” Suddenly, Konoe gave me a sharp glare. “During last summer break, you went to Usami’s house, right?”

“!”

“There, she treated you to some meat and potato stew, correct?”

“!?”

“I ignored it back at the time, but she actually hugged you while only wearing a swimsuit, yeah?”

“How do you know about that?!”

“A while ago, I questioned Usami about that, so she told me. To think she would go that far, even if it’s for your gynophobia.”

“……”

T-The hell? It’s true that Masamune pulled some dubious treatment on me right before the whole elopement trip, but why is this coming up now? This friendly time suddenly turned into an interrogation. Guess I can only develop a time machine and travel back to the past, back to when life was still fun.

“But…it’s fine.”

“Eh?”

“I’m not particularly angry about the fact that you received treatment from Usami. Rather, that gave me a hint on how I can help you.”

“Hint?”

“That’s right. You should get what I’m playing at, looking at my swimsuit, right?” Konoe proudly put one hand on her hip.

During last summer break, she wore thin fabric around her waist with this white swimsuit, but now that was taken off. Probably because of that, it felt like an even more stimulating design. Seeing Subaru-sama who was usually wearing a male uniform in such feminine attire, the gap that was born from it was too adorable.

“D-Don’t tell me, Konoe-san…” My voice quivered, as a trauma came rushing back to my head.

During summer break, when I was receiving treatment from Masamune, she pressed her body onto me, while only wearing a swimsuit. Naturally, she did not care if my nose started bleeding. If Konoe were to do the same now…

“T-That’s right, if we hug each other while I’m wearing only a swimsuit, it should help improve your gynophobia.”

“……!”

I should have seen that one coming. However, that method is way too embarrassing. Not to mention that seemed to be the same for Konoe, as her face was red as an apple. That being said, this was Konoe’s room, a secluded location. It was just us two in here, so if we went through with this, things would surely end up dangerous…

“W-Why are you hesitating? Don’t you want to fix your gynophobia?”

“Urk…!”

I sure as hell do. I want to get rid of this gynophobia, and touch girls. I want to have a normal student life, one that is completely different from right now. Remember, Konoe is going this far for my sake. It wouldn’t be fair if I was the one wussing out.

“A-Alright.” I made up my mind, and looked directly at Konoe.

In response, the girl went ‘A-Alright, so then…’ and continued.

“…Please hug me.” She spoke with a voice about to disappear.

“…What?”

“L-Like I said, I’m telling you to hug me!”

“W-Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious!? Hugging you with my initiation…i-is way too embarrassing!”

She started blushing even more aggressively. H-H-H-Hug her!? That’s a bit…I did hug her before at the graveyard during summer break, but that happened in the heat of the moment, and right now, Konoe is wearing a bikini…Not to mention that Masamune was the assertive one last time…

“Or, do you not want to hug me? Are you saying that some crossdressing butler like me wouldn’t be any help in curing your gynophobia?”

Urk…

“…Jirou.” Konoe’s eyes dampened up.

She looked up at me, like she was expecting something…Alright, fight’s on. We’re here now, there’s no turning back.

“Alright, let’s do it. I’m going on ahead, okay?”

“……Yeah.” Konoe put her trust in me, and closed her eyes.

Quietly, I wrapped my arms around the girl’s slender body—

“…!?”

A moment later, I felt shivers all over my body. My gynophobia was activating. Just because I was embracing a girl, my symptoms immediately showed.

“Mm…” Konoe let out a faint sigh inside my arms.

Gyaaah, her breath! It’s too close. I’d rather be used as a punching back by Kureha again.

“…Jirouuu.” There, the butler in my arms looked up at me. “Could you, um…hug me a bit more tightly?”

“Wha…”

“I know it might be hard for you, but this is to cure your gynophobia.”

“B-But…”

“I’m fine…I don’t…hate this or anything.”

“……!”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“…Jirouuu.” She called out to me with an alto voice about to vanish.

Unable to disobey, I gave a weak ‘U-Understood’, and—Squeeze. I put a bit more strength into the arms that embraced Konoe, who started blushing even more aggressively.

“Fuwaaaah…” I heard a faint breath.

Konoe seemingly buried her face in my chest as if she was trying to bear with something.

“J-Jirou…you’re so warm.”

“W-Well, I am a human after all.” My eyes were spinning, and I could only give a vague response.

The symptoms of my gynophobia were assaulting every part of my body. My consciousness was reaching critical levels. It’s honestly a miracle that I didn’t suffer from a nosebleed yet. This might be the longest I ever fought against the symptoms. Normally, I’d be drenched in blood by now…A-Alright. Since I reached a new record, I guess this is a good time to—

“…Jirouuu.”

However, right as I wanted to move my arms away, Konoe raised her head. Even now, I could get lost in those translucent eyes of hers. Her cheeks were red, and she had lost her cold and indifferent butler expression, now looking at me like a girl—

“Jirou…I…” Her soft-looking lips started forming words.

We were part of our own world, our breaths touching. I knew that she was trying to tell me something important, but right then…

“Konoe-senpai, are you awake?”

Someone suddenly knocked on the door. It was an almost childish voice—Kureha.

“…! Jirou, get away!” Konoe panicked, and moved away from me.

Yeah, that makes sense. Right now, she’s not in her butler attire, she looks like a normal girl. If Kureha sees her like this, she’ll be forced to quit as a butler. Also, why is Kureha even here this late?

“Jirou, you hide in that closet over there!!”

It’s not like we were doing anything……Actually, this looks pretty bad from an outsider’s perspective, huh. That’s probably why Konoe is panicking now, as she was giving me orders.

“Y-Yeah.”

I immediately nodded along, and entered the closet in the corner of the room. Before, Kureha was dubious if there wasn’t any kind of BL relationship going on between Konoe and me. If she were to find me here, those surely wouldn’t just stay as doubts. The inside of the closet was much more narrow than I expected. It seemed to contain Konoe’s casual clothes, because I saw countless girlish clothes put up on the hangers, but before I could see anything, Konoe closed the door in front of me.

“Konoe-senpai?” Kureha’s tone of choice changed into curiosity.

This is bad. Because I was locked into the darkness like this, I failed to fully grasp the situation. If the door to the room isn’t locked, it wouldn’t be weird for Kureha to just waltz inside…

“…Damn it.”

Konoe! Hurry up and change! I heard rustling outside the door, when suddenly…

“Kya!?”

Together with an adorable shriek, I heard something collapsing across the door…I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe Konoe rushed too much when trying to change, and tripped…?

“Konoe-senpai, are you okay!?”

That shriek must have reached Kureha, as she moved to open the door. What awful timing, really. We’re done for. With this, Konoe’s life as a butler is over….

“Jirou! Let me in as well!”

The door to the closet shot open, with Konoe barging inside. Because the sudden influx of light was too bright, I couldn’t perfectly see her appearance. Following that, the closet door closed again. Immediately after, the door to the room opened, and I heard Kureha’s footsteps.

“Hmmm? Is Konoe-senpai not here after all? Weird, I feel like I heard a voice.” My little sister sounded confused.

Fuhaha, you foolish girl. To think you can’t even see through such a simple trick…I was acting like some comic book villain, but the actual situation wasn’t as comfortable.

“K-K-Konoe! Don’t cling to me like this!” I whispered in a quiet voice so that Kureha wouldn’t hear us.

As a matter of fact, Konoe was pretty much glued to me. Gaaah, my gynophobia is activating again…!

“I-I can’t help it! This closet is far too narrow!”

Well yeah, it wasn’t made for people to be in here. I doubt the person who built this closet thought we’d use it like this. It’s far too narrow, I can’t even move properly.

“More importantly, Jirou.”

“What’s more important now?”

“Well…can you see me right now?”

“Not at all. It’s pitch black.”

“I-I see…Thank god. I went and hid the costume beneath the bed, so I think we should be fine.”

For some reason, Konoe sounded oddly relieved at that. However, the situation was just as dangerous as before. If this was a horror movie, it’d take a few more minutes before the serial killer spots us. Not to mention that Kureha is far more dangerous than some run-of-the-mill killer.

“So this is Konoe-senpai’s room, huh…What a wonderful place…”

Not knowing of our feelings, Kureha just looked around the room. Oh yeah, she’s also a fan of the Silent Sheep. If not, then she wouldn’t just go around calling this room ‘wonderful’ and whatever. Despite hating it at first, now she’s really into it, huh.

“Maybe I should just wait until he comes back?”

Urk…Stop that, my little sister. Konoe won’t be coming home no matter how long you wait. Also, you’re a trespasser here, you really should leave, or Konoe might start to hate you.

“Ah, I know…” Kureha seemingly came up with something, as she moved through Konoe’s room, footsteps approaching us.

D-Don’t tell me, did she catch on to us? I saw no other option, and tried to carefully open the door to confirm the situation, but…

“J-Jirou! You can’t open it!”

“It’s fine, we won’t get caught.”

“T-That’s not what I’m worried about. The light will…”

For some reason, Konoe fumbled over her own words, growing silent. What’s going on with her? Why is she so against it? Well, there are bigger problems now. I carefully opened the closet door, observing the enemy…

“Ehehehe, Konoe-senpai~”

The scenery that opened up in front of me left me speechless. Kureha, in her maid attire, jumped onto Konoe’s bed, rolling around as she tightly embraced the pillow, even burying her face inside of it. She looked like a cat, playing with its favorite toy, or enjoying the presence of its owner.

“………”

Stop it, my sister. I know that you like Subaru-sama, but you shouldn’t go this far. I didn’t want to see you looking like a pervert.

“Kureha-chan, what are you doing in Subaru’s room?”

There, as I was worrying if I raised my little sister the wrong way, another voice could be heard. This mature tone…Suzutsuki!

“Nya!? Onee-sama! Why are you in Konoe-senpai’s room!?”

“I was walking down the hallway, when I saw that the door was open.”

“Ahhh! I forgot to close it! No, you’re wrong, Onee-sama! I wasn’t enjoying Konoe-senpai’s scent or anything!?”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“That’s…I wanted Subaru-sama to look at me in my maid clothes.”

“So you tried to appeal to Subaru, I see. Aren’t you a cute one, Kureha-chan.”

“~~~!” Kureha grew flustered like a kitty.

I see, so she went all the way out here just for that. That’s a maiden in love for you, she really knows how to act. Worse of all, these maid clothes actually looked good on her.

“So, where exactly is Subaru?”

“Ah…when I came in, he was already gone…Ah, I didn’t enter without permission, I just heard a weird noise in the room before that!”

“Hmmm…” Suzutsuki observed the inside of the room.

Then, for a single moment, her glance met with mine, through the gap of the closet door. That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you, she immediately figured out everything. Though I bet she doesn’t know why exactly we’re hiding. However, this is a chance. If only she can convince Kureha to leave the room.

“Kureha-chan, since we’re here already, why don’t we check Subaru’s room a bit?”

However, Suzutsuki smiled like the devil, betraying my hope.

“Check out…his room?”

“That’s right. At least until he comes back.”

“B-But, we really shouldn’t…”

“It’s fine, you’re together with me, his master, so he won’t blame you. Also, don’t you want to know more…about Subaru?”

“……Yes.”

Kureha nodded.

Waaaah, what is this woman thinking! This time, I’ll call Mephistopheles for sure!

“Now then, let’s start over here.”

Confirming the situation through the gap, I saw Suzutsuki heading over to a bookshelf. She probably won’t guide Kureha to this closet, but I can tell she’s up to no good.

“Ah, that’s…!” Konoe let out a faint shriek of terror.

Please, don’t let out your voice. If they find us now, it’s over.

“What is that?”

“A photo album, with pictures from when Subaru was still very young.”

“A young Konoe-senpai!? Can I take a look?”

“Of course, these are pictures that I can show to you, after all.”

She clearly put a different meaning into her words. That album probably has no pictures that show Konoe being a girl. Judging from what Suzutsuki told me before, she started working as a butler a long time ago.

“Waah, so cute! How old is he?”

“Around six, I’d assume. The butler uniform is still far too big on him.”

While they opened up the album on the floor, the two were discussing this and that. Ahh, I wanna see that so badly. A small Konoe sounds adorable.

“Now then, next is…”

They seemingly made it through the entire album, and moved towards the studying desk in the corner of the room. On top of that desk were several thin books.

“Huh? What is this?”

Kureha’s gaze fell on the university notes. Written on the cover was…

“‘Certain kill! A manual on how to break that person’s heart!’, hmm.”

The second Kureha finished reading the title of the notes, Konoe twitched in shock, and swallowed her breath….Gyaaa! My nose is bleeding! My gynophobia is acting up again! Could you not hug me like that!?

“Onee-sama, what is this?”

“Now, who knows?”

“Um…it talks about breaking someone’s heart…Maybe it explains the Heart Break Shot3?”

“Fufu, I think you’re right. Subaru is interested in martial arts after all. Why not take a peek?”

“Yes! Let me see…’Method 1: Call them to the back of the school’. Hmm…that’s an odd method. Maybe you need to certify the location before getting to the actual attack? This Heart Break Shot clearly is no joke.”

“This ‘Method 2: Call them up to the rooftop’ sounds interesting as well. Though I’m sure that Subaru is too embarrassed to actually do that.”

“Nya? Why is that? He’s calling the other person up there to fight, right?”

“Well, it is a fight to a certain degree. He has his own worries, you know.”

“Hmm…sounds complicated~”

The two were discussing something. Heart Break Shot…isn’t that a certain-kill technique from that famous boxing manga? Why was she writing about that in her notes? Did she suddenly get into boxing?

“Ah, Kureha-chan, do you have a moment?”

“Yes, what is it?”

With Suzutsuki’s voice, Kureha returned the notes to the desk. There seemed to be something she’d rather not have seen in there, because Konoe sighed in relief. However…

“O-Onee-sama! Is this possibly Subaru-sama’s diary!?”

Because of Kureha’s words, Konoe twitched yet again. She can’t even get a minute to breathe, huh. Of course, I’m the same, it’s a crimson river over here. Ahh, I feel so pathetic, it’s not even funny. You good kids out there, don’t copy this at home, you hear me?

“W-What should we do!?”

“I think a little peek won’t hurt. He might have written about you, Kureha-chan.”

“Y-Yes…!” Kureha sounded both nervous and excited, as she flipped over the first page of the diary with a quivering hand.

“Waaaah!”

Gyaaaaa! What is this butler doing! Since Konoe was about to jump out the closet with a quiet but still screaming voice, I desperately held her back. I get that she must be embarrassed, but there’s bigger problems than that. If she jumped out now, everything would be over.

“Nya? Did I just hear someone’s voice?”

“Just your imagination. Let’s focus on the diary.” Suzutsuki-san urged Kureha with a cheerful expression.

Right now, I understand. She must be Oda Nobunaga, but reborn. If not, there’s no way another human being would be such a sadist.

“Stop!” Konoe’s quiet scream this time didn’t reach Kureha’s ears.

As a result of that, the dice had fallen, and my little sister started reading out of the diary.

“Um…this is a bit before the school festival, I think. ‘21st of June. Clear sky. I fought with Jirou. Jirou’s an idiot, such a big dummy. He broke his promise with me, and went with that tsundere instead…Not to mention that he and that girl are dating apparently…What should I do…I want to make up…I’m lonely…’.”

“Gyaaaah!”

“This is when we went on that trip during summer break. ‘14th of August. Clear sky. We all went to the sea together. It was really fun. But, yesterday, Jirou apparently went to Usami’s place. Not to mention that she cooked for him. Damn it, I’ll get better at cooking myself, just you wait…’.”

“Waaaah! Ahhhh!”

“This is the day before the sports festival. ‘18th of September. Cloudy. Today is the sports festival I’ve been waiting for. I can’t wait for the three-legged race~ Just thinking about tomorrow is making my heart race, I can’t sleep at all. The only question is if I can really pull off everything in the manual that the young lady gave me…’.”

“Waaaaaaah!”

“Ah, the newest one is from today. ‘20th of September. Clear sky. The entire day, my chest has been feeling weird. Thinking about living beneath the same roof…Ahhh, what embarrassing things am I writing about! Calm down, me! Regarding Nakuru-chan’s case, I need to grab this chance…’.”

“Nyaaaaaaaa!”

I was afraid that Konoe might die from the embarrassment, that’s how much she looked like she was suffering. Also, she’s been screaming the entire time, so will you catch on already, Kureha?

“This ‘Living beneath the same roof’ part, is he talking about me? Waah, to think Konoe-senpai felt this way! Not to mention that he mentioned NaruNaru…Did he awaken to his own feelings because of NaruNaru’s confession!?”

Calm down, my little sister. There’s no way that happened. She’s probably talking about the both of us moving in. Though I don’t get what that Nakuru part is about.

“Also, I feel like I’ve been hearing some girly screams for a while now…Is it a ghost?”

“Really? I don’t hear anything. Then again, this residence is pretty big, so there might be one.”

“Hawawawa, that’s…” Kureha started shaking, and blushed furiously.

…This is a chance. For better or worse, Konoe’s voice must have worked in some way.

“L-Let’s leave, Onee-sama. If we stay here for too long, Konoe-senpai might find us.”

“Fufu. Let’s do that, Kureha-chan.” Suzutsuki glanced over at the closet, and headed to the exit of the room.

…Barely safe, huh. Just dealing with my symptoms was all I could take. My consciousness is getting close to fading away, with my nose bleeding non-stop. As long as we wait for both of them to leave…

“Fuwah…”

There, Konoe let out a weird voice.

“What’s wrong? If you don’t keep it down, they’ll find us.”

“S-Sorry, but…”

“What is it?”

“I feel the urge to sneeze…!”

“……”

Lord help me. At this rate, Konoe will get fired as a butler because of a sneeze.

“Nya? I definitely heard a voice just now.”

Urk…

“Now that’s come to this, maybe we should chase out this ghost? I am a bit scared, but my Mom even exorcised a ghost with a German suplex before.”

Not good, ghostbuster Kureha is suddenly all raring to go. Also, that part about Mom has to be a lie, although I could see her do that.

“Fuah…ah…”

“…!”

Konoe’s voice grew louder. She seems to be reaching her limit. Damn it, I have to somehow stop this sneeze. Maybe I should cover her mouth with my hands…No, the closet is too narrow, I can’t move my arms. What else? At this rate, Kureha will find out that Konoe is a girl. I gotta do something, because at this rate, Konoe will get fired, and Suzutsuki will stop help me with my gynophobia—

“…Ah.” There, I came up with one possible solution.

Suzutsuki Kanade gave me an important hint. What she did to me in the bath, the action that was supposed to fix my gynophobia…

“…!”

I can’t. No matter the situation, I can’t do that. But, if I let this go on, Konoe will get fired from her position as a butler. Then, she’ll be sad. I…don’t want to see her saddened face, even if it kills me.

“…Sorry, Konoe.” I made up my mind, and apologized to Konoe.

“Eh?” She showed me a confused reaction.

A short silence followed, and then, once Konoe’s sneeze was about to come out—I kissed Konoe.

“…Mmmn!?” Konoe was clearly surprised, and let out a groan.

However, I didn’t move away. If I stopped here, she’d probably go crazy. That’s why, just a bit longer, until Kureha and Suzutsuki leave.

“—Let’s leave, Kureha-chan.” Suzutsuki probably judged that fighting a ghost that didn’t exist wouldn’t be much fun, as she said so.

“Eh? But, Onee-sama.”

“It’s fine, there’s no ghost. It’s all just your imagination. More importantly, I’m a bit tired today, do you mind giving me a massage? You’re my maid, right?”

“Ah, yes! Understood, young lady!”

“Then, let’s go.”

This time, they left for good. Right after the door closed—

“Woah!?”

Konoe pushed me out of the closet. I couldn’t keep my balance, and fell directly onto the floor. Because of my gynophobia still flaring up, I failed to even stand up properly.

“…!”

Reflexively, I touched my lips. There, I still felt the faint sensation of Konoe’s soft lips, remaining on my skin. That’s right, although it was to protect her secret, I went ahead and k-k-k-kissed her…

“S-Sorry! I couldn’t come up with anything else, so I…!” I immediately turned towards Konoe, desperately apologizing.

She also lost strength in her legs, falling down to the carpet, barely keeping herself up with one hand. However…

“!?”

The scenery that was in front of my eyes left me utterly baffled. Thinking about it, when Konoe leaped into the closet, I couldn’t fully grasp her appearance. Maybe Konoe had taken off the swimsuit in a panic, but fell over while wearing nothing at all. There, Kureha opened the door, so she had to barge into the closet, hiding there together with me. That’s why, right now…

“…Ah.”

She must have caught on to my gaze. As she stood there, fully naked, she blinked in confusion. The shock of what is going on probably hampered her thought process. Silence followed, which felt painfully long as it filled the room.

“K-Konoe!?”

There, like the strings of a puppet had been cut, Konoe collapsed to the ground, losing consciousness.

“!”

As a result of that, her defenseless body was right in my view. Before I could see anything, I dodged and ran to the bed, grabbed a blanket, and covered Konoe’s body with that. Of course, without taking a single glance at her body.

“……”

No, I wasn’t lying, okay. I don’t mind betting my pride on that. Maybe Konoe passed out because I saw her naked, maybe it was because of the kiss…I don’t know which it could be, but I definitely wouldn’t use this kind of situation for myself.

“Uuuu…Kissed…Jirou…” Konoe let out a faint groan, mumbling in her sleep.

A-Anyway, I’ll just go back to my tent for today, and apologize one more time tomorrow. Thinking about that, I remembered the scenery from just now, and my heart skipped a beat. Rubbing my reddened cheeks, I felt how hot they were. Damn it, how am I supposed to look her in the eyes…!

“…G-Good night, Konoe.” I muttered, and quietly left the room.

Either way, with this, my first day at work ended, but it was only the beginning of the coming storm, is what I felt.

1 Short for Momotaro Densetsu, which sounds like Japanese monopoly if you ask me lul

2 The original goes Su -> Su (Vinegar) -> ki (which would be like) -> sukiyaki.

3 A technique from Hajime no Ippo

Attack! Butler-kun is next to me

Let me start from the conclusion. Despite being utterly exhausted, I still somehow managed to finish all my cleaning duties. After that incident in the bath, I quickly regained my consciousness, and Suzutsuki (who was wearing clothes already, sadly) told me to continue my work. The residence itself was terrifyingly big, but since it was constantly kept at a clean state, it really wasn’t that much work after all.

Though, I finished my work at roughly 9pm in the evening. All other servants except me had already concluded their dinner, so it meant dinner for one, all alone. However, I was hungry as all hell from work, so I headed over to the kitchen, but…

“Good work.”

Upon entering the kitchen, I was greeted by an expressionless Ichigo-san. That’s right, this yandere maid is the big problem. I’m worried if she even gives me something to eat.

“What about the work uniform you received from Kanade-ojousama? Did you take it off?”

“Sure did. I was just sweating profusely beneath that.”

That was a blank lie. I wasn’t sweating that much at all, but I took it off on the way here, and put it on my tent. As long as Ichigo-san has access to that cursed remote, wearing that costume runs the risk of me being treated like a damn toy. Though, it took a lot of time and suffering to find the right button to open the zipper.

“That reminds me, how did cleaning the bath go?”

“Well, right after you left, the young lady came out of the changing room, saying ‘I’ll be using the bath for a while, so you don’t need to clean it right now’, and stopped me.”

“I see.” The eyepatch maid looked disappointed from the bottom of her heart.

Naturally, that just now was another lie. If I told her about what really happened in the bath, it’ll be chainsaw time. Not to mention that Suzutsuki asked me to keep that a secret as well.

“Well, whatever. Are you hungry?”

“…Quite.”

“YES. I will prepare your dinner.” She said, and moved towards the fridge, with the door opening.

What she took out was…

“I got this just for you.”

Beef jerky. However, the dog food version.

“……”

Calm down, I expected as much. However, how can I get some proper dinner?

“Do you really call yourself the chef’s replacement?”

For starters, I tried to use her own pride against her, and stirred her up. Judging from what I heard thanks to Suzutsuki’s intel, she’s not half bad when it comes to cooking, so if I hurt her chef’s soul…

“Provocation is futile. I received orders to do this.”

“Orders? From the young lady?”

“NO. He’s my senior, and superior.”

“…The old man.”

“YES. Nagare-san told me a lot about you. Before he left, he told me the following. ‘If some dumb and shitty brat with glasses comes to our residence, I don’t mind if you treat him like a dog’, see.”

That damn helicopter parent. I doubt he predicted that my home would burn down, but he sure is careful even when it comes to his own place. Also, who are you calling dumb?

“However, I didn’t think you would become a temporary servant here.” Ichigo-san gave me a sharp glance.

Yeah, I really feel like she hates me. That being said, if I don’t fight back, my dinner will be dog food. I don’t want to become an actual dog, so I need to say something.

“Rest assured.” To my surprise, Ichigo-san showed me her palm. “I’ll properly treat you to something today. You’re Kanade-ojousama’s friend after all, right?”

“…Ichigo-san.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not being considerate or anything, I’ll just make you some dinner for Kanade-ojousama’s sake.” Ichigo-san walked towards the fridge again.

…What, she’s a normal person after all? I guess even a murder weapon-holding yandere maid is a good person deep down. There are no demons in this world after all. Warmth exists in every corner…

“Let me tell you one thing.” Ichigo-san turned towards me. “There’s a certain trick to eating what I’m about to serve you.”

“Trick?”

“YES. Two minutes in the microwave. As long as you can keep that in mind, it’ll be delicious.”

She threw something at me. I panicked a bit and caught it, and it turned out to be the one household food that was mostly used by boys living alone, done in a matter of minutes and enjoyed for aeons…instant ramen.

“……”

Even I got pissed off now.

“Call the chef!” I screamed like a Karen.

“I am the chef now.” Ichigo-san puffed out her chest.

I seriously thought of changing my work place.

That being said, I can’t just head off to Hello Work right now. That’s why I could only protest with Ichigo-san, but when I asked for improvement at my work treatment, Ichigo-san complained with ‘Want more? Greedy’, and threw a sugar cube at me. I feel like this is a beautiful example of power harassment. Of course, the ramen isn’t at fault. On the contrary, we’re best friends, but it’s just not enough.

After I reluctantly ate nothing but the instant ramen, I tried to deal with my still empty stomach, and made my way back to the tent. It was currently half past 9 in the evening. Well, I can only sleep, really. I had a sleeping bag in the tent, so I should be safe from the cold at least. What’s most problematic is my empty stomach. I’m terrified of what I’ll be served tomorrow morning, but worrying about it won’t do me any good. Maybe the starry sky will magically fill my stomach?

With these thoughts, I opened up the tent, but—Konoe Subaru was inside. Not to mention that she was wearing the costume I previously had taken off.

“……”

Are you serious, Subaru-sama? Do you want…bigger breasts that badly?

“Jirou!? Y-You’re wrong, there’s a reason for this!”

She caught on to my arrival, and started panicking. Oh crap, that costume is so adorable. She looked like a small puppy resting inside the tent. I feel like this might create some new kind of movement?

“Calm down. Why are you even wearing this?”

“W-When I saw you wear it…I was jealous.” She looked at me like a puppy, pleading to its owner.

Was she that desperate to wear it? Well, considering her interests and taste, I’m not surprised.

“Not to mention…you were wearing this the entire time, Jirou.”

“Eh?”

“No, it’s nothing! Don’t mind me! Just…”

“Just?”

“I tried it on, but now I can’t take it off…”

“Did you not listen to Suzutsuki’s explanation just now? Once you pull up the zipper, you can’t take it off yourself.”

“D-Don’t make fun of me! I was listening properly! Also, the young lady previously told me where the right button is, but…” Konoe suddenly grew silent.

If I had to guess, she probably forgot which button did what. She really is careless at times. With so many different functions, she probably was scared to activate something weird.

“What should I do, Jirou, do I have to stay like this forever? What if I press the wrong button, and it’ll start massaging my ni…breasts…” Konoe’s body quivered like a puppy freezing in the cold.

Yeah, a nipple massage definitely is terrifying. However, a part of me also wants to see Subaru-sama on the receiving end like that…

“Well, can’t do that though.”

“Can’t do what?”

“Nothing. Just me talking to myself. Anyway, I know which button you have to press, so I’ll take it off for you.”

“T-Take it off!?”

“Why are you panicking like this?”

“B-Because…!” Konoe blushed furiously, and suddenly grew silent.

……Don’t tell me, did she take off her clothes before this? I directed my gaze towards the corner of the tent, only to find a beautifully folded butler’s uniform. Isn’t she thorough…even though she could have just worn the costume above that.

“Alright, I’ll tell you which button it is, so go change later. Also, did you only come here to wear the costume?”

“Hmpf, you’re wrong about that. I figured that the night would be cold, so I brought you some refreshment.”

“Refreshment!?”

My empty stomach was screaming ‘Hallelujah!’ in joy. Great timing. Konoe might not be the best cook, but I can at least expect some calories!

“Here, it’s black tea. I made sure to keep it warm inside this canteen.” Konoe took out the mentioned canteen, as well as two cups.

Urk…So it’s not food. Well, when you think of a butler, you tend to imagine tea…However, black tea isn’t going to fill my empty stomach. Ahh, I can’t be thinking about my empty stomach…

“…Jirou, should I not have done this?” Konoe gave me an anxious gaze, with dampened eyes.

Waaah, don’t look at me like that. Of course, she’s not to blame. She did this solely out of pure and benevolent intentions. What man would I be if I rejected this kindness?

“Of course not. I’m looking forward to having a taste of your tea.”

“R-Really? I’m actually pretty confident when it comes to my cooking.”

Konoe must have been relieved at my smile, as her expression lit up like a puppy’s allowed to go for a walk, as she poured some tea into a cup. Confident, huh…Thinking of Konoe’s cooking skill, I’m a bit scared to touch that…

“Here you go, Jirou.”

However, I also can’t betray this smile. Slightly scared, I put my mouth to the cup, and took a sip.

“…Hm?”

Huh? This is actually not half bad…No, it’s pretty good, honestly. I don’t really drink black tea that often so I can’t really tell, but this warmth filling my body was kind yet delicious. I didn’t expect Konoe to have this kind of skill.

“Hehe, how is it?”

“Yeah, it’s delicious.”

“Right? I’m amazing after all.”

“It’s been quite some time since you showed me that you really are a butler.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Dear costume butler-kun pouted.

“Sorry, sorry. But, this tea really is great.”

“Y-You think so? I’m glad you like it, I guess it’s just as the young lady said.”

“Was this Suzutsuki’s plan?”

“Yeah, she said ‘Go and do a nightly raid on Jirou-kun’, you know.”

Pffffft! I spit out the rest of the tea in my mouth.

“What’s wrong? A nightly raid is what you call when you give someone else provisions for the night, right? The young lady taught me.”

That damn Devil Suzutsuki, she went and started teasing the pure-hearted Konoe. I just pray that Konoe doesn’t go to Kureha tomorrow, saying that ‘Last night, I raided Jirou-kun’. It’ll cause a murder scene at this very Suzutsuki Residence, with me as the victim. And right as I was thinking that…

—Grooooooooowl.

Sadly, even the black tea didn’t fill my stomach enough. My stomach was screaming SOS. Mayday, mayday, we’re running low on calories.

“Huh? Jirou, are you hungry?”

“W-Well, a bit.”

“Why? Didn’t you eat dinner after you finished your work?” There, Konoe’s eyes opened wide, and her facial color changed to dark blue. “It must have been Ichigo’s doing, right? Sorry, Jirou, I didn’t expect this.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re not at fault.”

“By the way, what was your menu?”

“Uhhh…sugar cubes and instant ramen.”

“S-So cruel…! If that happened to me, I’d cause a labour strike…!”

If anything, I feel like you’d burn down this place. A hungry butler sounds like end of the world material.

“Apologies, Jirou. I should have brought you something else to eat when I entered the kitchen with the young lady.”

“…Why did you enter together with her?”

“T-That’s…because…”

“…Are you still banned from the kitchen?”

I feel like she mentioned something like that when we made curry together during last summer break. To think that was still a thing almost a month later.

“W-What am I supposed to do!? Also, it should be fine even if I walked in there myself…Ah, I know, I’ll bring something to eat for you.”

“Right now!? Maybe you shouldn’t, you’ll only get an earful if someone sees you.”

“Urk…” Konoe grit her teeth. “If only I could enter the kitchen alone…Maybe there’s something else to eat…” The butler twisted her head.

Leaving the residence to buy something this late is also questionable. There didn’t seem to be any convenience stores nearby, so I can only deal with my empty stomach.

“…Ah.”

There, Konoe seemed to have come up with something.

“What’s up? Got anything good?”

“W-Well…yeah…”

For some reason, she sounded awfully bashful. And I soon found out why.

“…Jirou.” She seemingly made up her mind, and looked at me. “Won’t you…come to my room?”

“T-Thanks for the food.”

I finished the last bite of the cup ramen (Super *up), and put down the chopsticks with tense hands.

“I-It was delicious, thanks.”

“Y-Yeah, glad to hear that…”

Apparently, Konoe seemed just as tense as me, nodding while still wearing the costume. That’s right, we currently were in Konoe Subaru’s private room. It was my first time seeing it from the inside.

“Still, I didn’t think you’d be hiding cup ramen in your room.”

“Hmpf, don’t blame me. I can’t really eat that much in this place. They talk about it being bad nutrition.”

“That’s why you even have a pot ready?”

“W-What about it!? I can’t eat it cold!”

I mean, you’re not wrong. But even so, hiding cup ramen beneath your bed, that sure surprised me. I mean, I did something similar back in May, but to think she took this much liking to cup ramen.

“Also, you have a lot of plush toys, huh.”

“Yeah, they’re cute, right?”

“Well, um, I guess…” I didn’t know what to say.

You can’t blame me for that, because when I looked at all the plush toys inside the room…it was all Silent Sheep. All plush toys that looked like a certain doctor from a certain movie. Its aggressive design was one thing, and yet it sold like hot potatoes for some reason.

“When I asked Nakuru-chan, she gave me lots. Her father is the company president of the manufacturer, remember?”

That damn glasses junkie. She probably planned to get on Konoe’s good side, by offering her bait in the form of these Silent Sheep plush toys. You shouldn’t feed the butler, remember? Then again, taking away the plush toys, it was your average room.

“……!”

Not good, becoming aware that this was a girl’s room, I’ve gotten nervous again. It’s totally obvious, but I never had any chance to enter such holy ground. If I even accidentally barged into my little sister’s room, she’d use this as a reason to give me a pro wrestling lesson, and although I did go to Masamune’s room, I was nervous because of the whole ghost thing. That’s why I can’t help but tense up right now. After all, this undoubtedly is Konoe Subaru’s home.

“J-Jirou, why don’t we play something since you’re here already?” Konoe asked with an uncertain tone.

Yeah, it’s still a bit early to head to bed. Not to mention that Konoe and I are good friends, so playing something when it’s just the two of us wouldn’t hurt.

“Alright. You have any idea?”

“I do have a W*i with me.”

“A W*i!?”

Why does a butler have such a modern game console here!? No, she’s a high school student, it’s not weird at all.

“What games do you have?”

“Momotetsu1.”

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to like such a commoner game. What else?”

“No, just Momotetsu.”

“…W-Well, fine. I guess you just like it that much? I often play it with Kureha.”

However, she would often break the controller, or pull some dangerous wrestling technique on me, so I try to avoid playing it. It evokes a strong trauma within me every time. However, Momotetsu is a popular game with a large and old fanbase, so to spend a bit of time, it should be just fine…

“…No can do. This isn’t enough of a contest.”

“What? Do you not know the controls or something?”

Konoe can be quite clumsy after all. Buying it is one thing, but maybe the controls are just beyond her.

“No, the difference in technique between the two of us is too big.”
“Huh?”

“My playtime of Momotetsu is about 300 hours.”

“300!?”

“I got hooked on it when I was playing it alone.”

“You were playing Momotetsu solo!?”

“D-Don’t make fun of me! Momotetsu is a game you can enjoy on your own!”

“But, 300 hours is just…”

“…W-Well I’m sorry, okay? I never got a chance to bring a friend over from school, and inviting the young lady while being her butler is a bit…” Konoe started sulking like a puppy that had its food stolen from it.

Oh yeah, she didn’t have any friends until she met me. Still, not even playing with her own master, she sure is diligent about her work. But then, why didn’t she ask her old man? They’re family, right.

“By the way, I thought of inviting Dad, but decided against it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want him to enter my room.”

“………”

It was a prime example of a child growing up independently from their parents. I know how exhausting the old man can be, and although she might be crossdressing as a man, Konoe is still a girl, and at a very delicate age.

“When he walked into my room, he was so moved he started crying.”

“Why!?”

“He’s gotten quick to bawling compared to before, and even started crying when watching ‘P*nyo on the Cliff’.”

“Was that movie such a tearjerker!?”

“Apparently he sympathized with P*nyo’s father a lot.”

“……”

“Let him be, Jirou. He’s at a delicate age.” Konoe showed a distant gaze.

That old fart would cry simply by walking inside his daughter’s room? What happens if she goes and gets married? The marriage ceremony will turn to his funeral. Or rather, after calling the groom, he’ll probably end himself, and still go up to heaven.

“That being the case, Momotetsu is no good…Let’s play a different game.”

“A different game?”

“It’s the one you and the young lady did when we went to the beach.”

“Hmm…”

Is she talking about the game where we write things on each other’s backs? I don’t mind, but…

“Why that?”

“W-Why’s it matter! I always wanted to play this!”

“R-Really? Then, let’s do it.”

I couldn’t go against Konoe’s pushy attitude. I didn’t expect her to be this into this game, really. Maybe it’ll help with my gynophobia as well.

“…Alright, I’ll go along with the young lady’s manual…”

“What?”

“No, it’s nothing. Let’s hurry up and start.”

Konoe immediately moved around me, turning towards my back. Eh? Wouldn’t you play rock paper scissors first? However, Konoe already put her finger on my back. Is it just my imagination, or are her fingers quivering?

“T-Then, I’m starting…” She said, and her fingers started moving.

Li.

“Li?”

Li…Lie? What does that have to do with anything?

“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! I’m not done yet!”

“Really?”

“Yeah…this is what’s important.”

“……”

I felt an odd pressure directed at my back. Hey now, why are you so desperate? Just have fun…with the game. It’s like I’m being interrogated instead.

“H-Here I go…” She moved her finger again.

ke.

“…ke?”

It was probably a continuation of the previous word, but…
“Urk…!” I heard a groan coming from Konoe, and her fingers moved one more time.

lihood.

“…Likelihood2?”

“C-Correct…” Konoe’s voice was filled with frustration.

If anything, it sounded like she was cursing to herself. Why is she such a sore loser? It’s like she lost her victory at a hair’s width.

“…Jirou, let’s stop with this game.”

“Eh? We barely started, right?”

“Sorry, the hurdle is too big for me.”

“……”

I have no idea what she’s talking about. Was she that frustrated that I guess what she was writing? I mean, that’s her fault for using such a simple word. Not to mention that this ended so quickly, my gynophobia wasn’t even flaring up.

“What should we do? Play cards?”

“No can do, I don’t have any here. Also, let’s stop with the games.”

“Eh?”

“The games—are over.”

“Why’re you trying to sound cool now?”

“S-Shut up! I was trying to set the mood!” Konoe pouted in displeasure, and stood up like she made up her mind about something. “I’ll help you fix it.”

“Fix…you mean my gynophobia?”

“You wouldn’t want to stay that way forever, right? You said that you couldn’t enter a relationship with a girl after all…”

“Well, I did say that…”

Then again, what will you do? Without Suzutsuki around, there’s no effective program to fix my gynophobia, right?

“No need to worry. I already have a plan in mind.”

“Really?”
“Yeah. However…in order to execute that plan, I need a bit of courage.” Konoe sounded awfully serious all of a sudden.

As I was left confused on what she was even doing, she took out a remote from her pocket. It was the remote belonging to the costume. Without hesitation, she pressed a single button there, namely the one I told her about a few minutes ago, which unlocked the zipper to take off the costume, and…

“…! Konoe!?”

With no resistance whatsoever, the costume slid down Konoe’s body.

“Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“Don’t panic like that, this is all for the sake of your treatment.”

“That’s clearly too stimulating if you ask me!”

You don’t need to use your own body like that…After the costume fell to the ground, I could see her slender, almost thin legs, together with her squishy thighs, and snow white underwear. Her feminine body was right in my view—

“…Hm?”

Rather than underwear, this looks more like a swimsuit.

“It’s fine, this is just a swimsuit. I figured that maybe this could help cure your gynophobia, so I put it on today. It’s the same one as I wore at the beach, remember?”

“Yeah, but…why did you not want to take it off in the tent, then?”

“I told you, this method needs courage. And, I hadn’t mentally prepared myself back then…” Konoe spoke with a bashful tone.

Damn it, what are these feelings? I’m having flashbacks from the same thing happening back at Masamune’s place. Why is it always a bikini, are you trying to kill me…

“More importantly…Jirou.” Suddenly, Konoe gave me a sharp glare. “During last summer break, you went to Usami’s house, right?”

“!”

“There, she treated you to some meat and potato stew, correct?”

“!?”

“I ignored it back at the time, but she actually hugged you while only wearing a swimsuit, yeah?”

“How do you know about that?!”

“A while ago, I questioned Usami about that, so she told me. To think she would go that far, even if it’s for your gynophobia.”

“……”

T-The hell? It’s true that Masamune pulled some dubious treatment on me right before the whole elopement trip, but why is this coming up now? This friendly time suddenly turned into an interrogation. Guess I can only develop a time machine and travel back to the past, back to when life was still fun.

“But…it’s fine.”

“Eh?”

“I’m not particularly angry about the fact that you received treatment from Usami. Rather, that gave me a hint on how I can help you.”

“Hint?”

“That’s right. You should get what I’m playing at, looking at my swimsuit, right?” Konoe proudly put one hand on her hip.

During last summer break, she wore thin fabric around her waist with this white swimsuit, but now that was taken off. Probably because of that, it felt like an even more stimulating design. Seeing Subaru-sama who was usually wearing a male uniform in such feminine attire, the gap that was born from it was too adorable.

“D-Don’t tell me, Konoe-san…” My voice quivered, as a trauma came rushing back to my head.

During summer break, when I was receiving treatment from Masamune, she pressed her body onto me, while only wearing a swimsuit. Naturally, she did not care if my nose started bleeding. If Konoe were to do the same now…

“T-That’s right, if we hug each other while I’m wearing only a swimsuit, it should help improve your gynophobia.”

“……!”

I should have seen that one coming. However, that method is way too embarrassing. Not to mention that seemed to be the same for Konoe, as her face was red as an apple. That being said, this was Konoe’s room, a secluded location. It was just us two in here, so if we went through with this, things would surely end up dangerous…

“W-Why are you hesitating? Don’t you want to fix your gynophobia?”

“Urk…!”

I sure as hell do. I want to get rid of this gynophobia, and touch girls. I want to have a normal student life, one that is completely different from right now. Remember, Konoe is going this far for my sake. It wouldn’t be fair if I was the one wussing out.

“A-Alright.” I made up my mind, and looked directly at Konoe.

In response, the girl went ‘A-Alright, so then…’ and continued.

“…Please hug me.” She spoke with a voice about to disappear.

“…What?”

“L-Like I said, I’m telling you to hug me!”

“W-Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious!? Hugging you with my initiation…i-is way too embarrassing!”

She started blushing even more aggressively. H-H-H-Hug her!? That’s a bit…I did hug her before at the graveyard during summer break, but that happened in the heat of the moment, and right now, Konoe is wearing a bikini…Not to mention that Masamune was the assertive one last time…

“Or, do you not want to hug me? Are you saying that some crossdressing butler like me wouldn’t be any help in curing your gynophobia?”

Urk…

“…Jirou.” Konoe’s eyes dampened up.

She looked up at me, like she was expecting something…Alright, fight’s on. We’re here now, there’s no turning back.

“Alright, let’s do it. I’m going on ahead, okay?”

“……Yeah.” Konoe put her trust in me, and closed her eyes.

Quietly, I wrapped my arms around the girl’s slender body—

“…!?”

A moment later, I felt shivers all over my body. My gynophobia was activating. Just because I was embracing a girl, my symptoms immediately showed.

“Mm…” Konoe let out a faint sigh inside my arms.

Gyaaah, her breath! It’s too close. I’d rather be used as a punching back by Kureha again.

“…Jirouuu.” There, the butler in my arms looked up at me. “Could you, um…hug me a bit more tightly?”

“Wha…”

“I know it might be hard for you, but this is to cure your gynophobia.”

“B-But…”

“I’m fine…I don’t…hate this or anything.”

“……!”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“…Jirouuu.” She called out to me with an alto voice about to vanish.

Unable to disobey, I gave a weak ‘U-Understood’, and—Squeeze. I put a bit more strength into the arms that embraced Konoe, who started blushing even more aggressively.

“Fuwaaaah…” I heard a faint breath.

Konoe seemingly buried her face in my chest as if she was trying to bear with something.

“J-Jirou…you’re so warm.”

“W-Well, I am a human after all.” My eyes were spinning, and I could only give a vague response.

The symptoms of my gynophobia were assaulting every part of my body. My consciousness was reaching critical levels. It’s honestly a miracle that I didn’t suffer from a nosebleed yet. This might be the longest I ever fought against the symptoms. Normally, I’d be drenched in blood by now…A-Alright. Since I reached a new record, I guess this is a good time to—

“…Jirouuu.”

However, right as I wanted to move my arms away, Konoe raised her head. Even now, I could get lost in those translucent eyes of hers. Her cheeks were red, and she had lost her cold and indifferent butler expression, now looking at me like a girl—

“Jirou…I…” Her soft-looking lips started forming words.

We were part of our own world, our breaths touching. I knew that she was trying to tell me something important, but right then…

“Konoe-senpai, are you awake?”

Someone suddenly knocked on the door. It was an almost childish voice—Kureha.

“…! Jirou, get away!” Konoe panicked, and moved away from me.

Yeah, that makes sense. Right now, she’s not in her butler attire, she looks like a normal girl. If Kureha sees her like this, she’ll be forced to quit as a butler. Also, why is Kureha even here this late?

“Jirou, you hide in that closet over there!!”

It’s not like we were doing anything……Actually, this looks pretty bad from an outsider’s perspective, huh. That’s probably why Konoe is panicking now, as she was giving me orders.

“Y-Yeah.”

I immediately nodded along, and entered the closet in the corner of the room. Before, Kureha was dubious if there wasn’t any kind of BL relationship going on between Konoe and me. If she were to find me here, those surely wouldn’t just stay as doubts. The inside of the closet was much more narrow than I expected. It seemed to contain Konoe’s casual clothes, because I saw countless girlish clothes put up on the hangers, but before I could see anything, Konoe closed the door in front of me.

“Konoe-senpai?” Kureha’s tone of choice changed into curiosity.

This is bad. Because I was locked into the darkness like this, I failed to fully grasp the situation. If the door to the room isn’t locked, it wouldn’t be weird for Kureha to just waltz inside…

“…Damn it.”

Konoe! Hurry up and change! I heard rustling outside the door, when suddenly…

“Kya!?”

Together with an adorable shriek, I heard something collapsing across the door…I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe Konoe rushed too much when trying to change, and tripped…?

“Konoe-senpai, are you okay!?”

That shriek must have reached Kureha, as she moved to open the door. What awful timing, really. We’re done for. With this, Konoe’s life as a butler is over….

“Jirou! Let me in as well!”

The door to the closet shot open, with Konoe barging inside. Because the sudden influx of light was too bright, I couldn’t perfectly see her appearance. Following that, the closet door closed again. Immediately after, the door to the room opened, and I heard Kureha’s footsteps.

“Hmmm? Is Konoe-senpai not here after all? Weird, I feel like I heard a voice.” My little sister sounded confused.

Fuhaha, you foolish girl. To think you can’t even see through such a simple trick…I was acting like some comic book villain, but the actual situation wasn’t as comfortable.

“K-K-Konoe! Don’t cling to me like this!” I whispered in a quiet voice so that Kureha wouldn’t hear us.

As a matter of fact, Konoe was pretty much glued to me. Gaaah, my gynophobia is activating again…!

“I-I can’t help it! This closet is far too narrow!”

Well yeah, it wasn’t made for people to be in here. I doubt the person who built this closet thought we’d use it like this. It’s far too narrow, I can’t even move properly.

“More importantly, Jirou.”

“What’s more important now?”

“Well…can you see me right now?”

“Not at all. It’s pitch black.”

“I-I see…Thank god. I went and hid the costume beneath the bed, so I think we should be fine.”

For some reason, Konoe sounded oddly relieved at that. However, the situation was just as dangerous as before. If this was a horror movie, it’d take a few more minutes before the serial killer spots us. Not to mention that Kureha is far more dangerous than some run-of-the-mill killer.

“So this is Konoe-senpai’s room, huh…What a wonderful place…”

Not knowing of our feelings, Kureha just looked around the room. Oh yeah, she’s also a fan of the Silent Sheep. If not, then she wouldn’t just go around calling this room ‘wonderful’ and whatever. Despite hating it at first, now she’s really into it, huh.

“Maybe I should just wait until he comes back?”

Urk…Stop that, my little sister. Konoe won’t be coming home no matter how long you wait. Also, you’re a trespasser here, you really should leave, or Konoe might start to hate you.

“Ah, I know…” Kureha seemingly came up with something, as she moved through Konoe’s room, footsteps approaching us.

D-Don’t tell me, did she catch on to us? I saw no other option, and tried to carefully open the door to confirm the situation, but…

“J-Jirou! You can’t open it!”

“It’s fine, we won’t get caught.”

“T-That’s not what I’m worried about. The light will…”

For some reason, Konoe fumbled over her own words, growing silent. What’s going on with her? Why is she so against it? Well, there are bigger problems now. I carefully opened the closet door, observing the enemy…

“Ehehehe, Konoe-senpai~”

The scenery that opened up in front of me left me speechless. Kureha, in her maid attire, jumped onto Konoe’s bed, rolling around as she tightly embraced the pillow, even burying her face inside of it. She looked like a cat, playing with its favorite toy, or enjoying the presence of its owner.

“………”

Stop it, my sister. I know that you like Subaru-sama, but you shouldn’t go this far. I didn’t want to see you looking like a pervert.

“Kureha-chan, what are you doing in Subaru’s room?”

There, as I was worrying if I raised my little sister the wrong way, another voice could be heard. This mature tone…Suzutsuki!

“Nya!? Onee-sama! Why are you in Konoe-senpai’s room!?”

“I was walking down the hallway, when I saw that the door was open.”

“Ahhh! I forgot to close it! No, you’re wrong, Onee-sama! I wasn’t enjoying Konoe-senpai’s scent or anything!?”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“That’s…I wanted Subaru-sama to look at me in my maid clothes.”

“So you tried to appeal to Subaru, I see. Aren’t you a cute one, Kureha-chan.”

“~~~!” Kureha grew flustered like a kitty.

I see, so she went all the way out here just for that. That’s a maiden in love for you, she really knows how to act. Worse of all, these maid clothes actually looked good on her.

“So, where exactly is Subaru?”

“Ah…when I came in, he was already gone…Ah, I didn’t enter without permission, I just heard a weird noise in the room before that!”

“Hmmm…” Suzutsuki observed the inside of the room.

Then, for a single moment, her glance met with mine, through the gap of the closet door. That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you, she immediately figured out everything. Though I bet she doesn’t know why exactly we’re hiding. However, this is a chance. If only she can convince Kureha to leave the room.

“Kureha-chan, since we’re here already, why don’t we check Subaru’s room a bit?”

However, Suzutsuki smiled like the devil, betraying my hope.

“Check out…his room?”

“That’s right. At least until he comes back.”

“B-But, we really shouldn’t…”

“It’s fine, you’re together with me, his master, so he won’t blame you. Also, don’t you want to know more…about Subaru?”

“……Yes.”

Kureha nodded.

Waaaah, what is this woman thinking! This time, I’ll call Mephistopheles for sure!

“Now then, let’s start over here.”

Confirming the situation through the gap, I saw Suzutsuki heading over to a bookshelf. She probably won’t guide Kureha to this closet, but I can tell she’s up to no good.

“Ah, that’s…!” Konoe let out a faint shriek of terror.

Please, don’t let out your voice. If they find us now, it’s over.

“What is that?”

“A photo album, with pictures from when Subaru was still very young.”

“A young Konoe-senpai!? Can I take a look?”

“Of course, these are pictures that I can show to you, after all.”

She clearly put a different meaning into her words. That album probably has no pictures that show Konoe being a girl. Judging from what Suzutsuki told me before, she started working as a butler a long time ago.

“Waah, so cute! How old is he?”

“Around six, I’d assume. The butler uniform is still far too big on him.”

While they opened up the album on the floor, the two were discussing this and that. Ahh, I wanna see that so badly. A small Konoe sounds adorable.

“Now then, next is…”

They seemingly made it through the entire album, and moved towards the studying desk in the corner of the room. On top of that desk were several thin books.

“Huh? What is this?”

Kureha’s gaze fell on the university notes. Written on the cover was…

“‘Certain kill! A manual on how to break that person’s heart!’, hmm.”

The second Kureha finished reading the title of the notes, Konoe twitched in shock, and swallowed her breath….Gyaaa! My nose is bleeding! My gynophobia is acting up again! Could you not hug me like that!?

“Onee-sama, what is this?”

“Now, who knows?”

“Um…it talks about breaking someone’s heart…Maybe it explains the Heart Break Shot3?”

“Fufu, I think you’re right. Subaru is interested in martial arts after all. Why not take a peek?”

“Yes! Let me see…’Method 1: Call them to the back of the school’. Hmm…that’s an odd method. Maybe you need to certify the location before getting to the actual attack? This Heart Break Shot clearly is no joke.”

“This ‘Method 2: Call them up to the rooftop’ sounds interesting as well. Though I’m sure that Subaru is too embarrassed to actually do that.”

“Nya? Why is that? He’s calling the other person up there to fight, right?”

“Well, it is a fight to a certain degree. He has his own worries, you know.”

“Hmm…sounds complicated~”

The two were discussing something. Heart Break Shot…isn’t that a certain-kill technique from that famous boxing manga? Why was she writing about that in her notes? Did she suddenly get into boxing?

“Ah, Kureha-chan, do you have a moment?”

“Yes, what is it?”

With Suzutsuki’s voice, Kureha returned the notes to the desk. There seemed to be something she’d rather not have seen in there, because Konoe sighed in relief. However…

“O-Onee-sama! Is this possibly Subaru-sama’s diary!?”

Because of Kureha’s words, Konoe twitched yet again. She can’t even get a minute to breathe, huh. Of course, I’m the same, it’s a crimson river over here. Ahh, I feel so pathetic, it’s not even funny. You good kids out there, don’t copy this at home, you hear me?

“W-What should we do!?”

“I think a little peek won’t hurt. He might have written about you, Kureha-chan.”

“Y-Yes…!” Kureha sounded both nervous and excited, as she flipped over the first page of the diary with a quivering hand.

“Waaaah!”

Gyaaaaa! What is this butler doing! Since Konoe was about to jump out the closet with a quiet but still screaming voice, I desperately held her back. I get that she must be embarrassed, but there’s bigger problems than that. If she jumped out now, everything would be over.

“Nya? Did I just hear someone’s voice?”

“Just your imagination. Let’s focus on the diary.” Suzutsuki-san urged Kureha with a cheerful expression.

Right now, I understand. She must be Oda Nobunaga, but reborn. If not, there’s no way another human being would be such a sadist.

“Stop!” Konoe’s quiet scream this time didn’t reach Kureha’s ears.

As a result of that, the dice had fallen, and my little sister started reading out of the diary.

“Um…this is a bit before the school festival, I think. ‘21st of June. Clear sky. I fought with Jirou. Jirou’s an idiot, such a big dummy. He broke his promise with me, and went with that tsundere instead…Not to mention that he and that girl are dating apparently…What should I do…I want to make up…I’m lonely…’.”

“Gyaaaah!”

“This is when we went on that trip during summer break. ‘14th of August. Clear sky. We all went to the sea together. It was really fun. But, yesterday, Jirou apparently went to Usami’s place. Not to mention that she cooked for him. Damn it, I’ll get better at cooking myself, just you wait…’.”

“Waaaah! Ahhhh!”

“This is the day before the sports festival. ‘18th of September. Cloudy. Today is the sports festival I’ve been waiting for. I can’t wait for the three-legged race~ Just thinking about tomorrow is making my heart race, I can’t sleep at all. The only question is if I can really pull off everything in the manual that the young lady gave me…’.”

“Waaaaaaah!”

“Ah, the newest one is from today. ‘20th of September. Clear sky. The entire day, my chest has been feeling weird. Thinking about living beneath the same roof…Ahhh, what embarrassing things am I writing about! Calm down, me! Regarding Nakuru-chan’s case, I need to grab this chance…’.”

“Nyaaaaaaaa!”

I was afraid that Konoe might die from the embarrassment, that’s how much she looked like she was suffering. Also, she’s been screaming the entire time, so will you catch on already, Kureha?

“This ‘Living beneath the same roof’ part, is he talking about me? Waah, to think Konoe-senpai felt this way! Not to mention that he mentioned NaruNaru…Did he awaken to his own feelings because of NaruNaru’s confession!?”

Calm down, my little sister. There’s no way that happened. She’s probably talking about the both of us moving in. Though I don’t get what that Nakuru part is about.

“Also, I feel like I’ve been hearing some girly screams for a while now…Is it a ghost?”

“Really? I don’t hear anything. Then again, this residence is pretty big, so there might be one.”

“Hawawawa, that’s…” Kureha started shaking, and blushed furiously.

…This is a chance. For better or worse, Konoe’s voice must have worked in some way.

“L-Let’s leave, Onee-sama. If we stay here for too long, Konoe-senpai might find us.”

“Fufu. Let’s do that, Kureha-chan.” Suzutsuki glanced over at the closet, and headed to the exit of the room.

…Barely safe, huh. Just dealing with my symptoms was all I could take. My consciousness is getting close to fading away, with my nose bleeding non-stop. As long as we wait for both of them to leave…

“Fuwah…”

There, Konoe let out a weird voice.

“What’s wrong? If you don’t keep it down, they’ll find us.”

“S-Sorry, but…”

“What is it?”

“I feel the urge to sneeze…!”

“……”

Lord help me. At this rate, Konoe will get fired as a butler because of a sneeze.

“Nya? I definitely heard a voice just now.”

Urk…

“Now that’s come to this, maybe we should chase out this ghost? I am a bit scared, but my Mom even exorcised a ghost with a German suplex before.”

Not good, ghostbuster Kureha is suddenly all raring to go. Also, that part about Mom has to be a lie, although I could see her do that.

“Fuah…ah…”

“…!”

Konoe’s voice grew louder. She seems to be reaching her limit. Damn it, I have to somehow stop this sneeze. Maybe I should cover her mouth with my hands…No, the closet is too narrow, I can’t move my arms. What else? At this rate, Kureha will find out that Konoe is a girl. I gotta do something, because at this rate, Konoe will get fired, and Suzutsuki will stop help me with my gynophobia—

“…Ah.” There, I came up with one possible solution.

Suzutsuki Kanade gave me an important hint. What she did to me in the bath, the action that was supposed to fix my gynophobia…

“…!”

I can’t. No matter the situation, I can’t do that. But, if I let this go on, Konoe will get fired from her position as a butler. Then, she’ll be sad. I…don’t want to see her saddened face, even if it kills me.

“…Sorry, Konoe.” I made up my mind, and apologized to Konoe.

“Eh?” She showed me a confused reaction.

A short silence followed, and then, once Konoe’s sneeze was about to come out—I kissed Konoe.

“…Mmmn!?” Konoe was clearly surprised, and let out a groan.

However, I didn’t move away. If I stopped here, she’d probably go crazy. That’s why, just a bit longer, until Kureha and Suzutsuki leave.

“—Let’s leave, Kureha-chan.” Suzutsuki probably judged that fighting a ghost that didn’t exist wouldn’t be much fun, as she said so.

“Eh? But, Onee-sama.”

“It’s fine, there’s no ghost. It’s all just your imagination. More importantly, I’m a bit tired today, do you mind giving me a massage? You’re my maid, right?”

“Ah, yes! Understood, young lady!”

“Then, let’s go.”

This time, they left for good. Right after the door closed—

“Woah!?”

Konoe pushed me out of the closet. I couldn’t keep my balance, and fell directly onto the floor. Because of my gynophobia still flaring up, I failed to even stand up properly.

“…!”

Reflexively, I touched my lips. There, I still felt the faint sensation of Konoe’s soft lips, remaining on my skin. That’s right, although it was to protect her secret, I went ahead and k-k-k-kissed her…

“S-Sorry! I couldn’t come up with anything else, so I…!” I immediately turned towards Konoe, desperately apologizing.

She also lost strength in her legs, falling down to the carpet, barely keeping herself up with one hand. However…

“!?”

The scenery that was in front of my eyes left me utterly baffled. Thinking about it, when Konoe leaped into the closet, I couldn’t fully grasp her appearance. Maybe Konoe had taken off the swimsuit in a panic, but fell over while wearing nothing at all. There, Kureha opened the door, so she had to barge into the closet, hiding there together with me. That’s why, right now…

“…Ah.”

She must have caught on to my gaze. As she stood there, fully naked, she blinked in confusion. The shock of what is going on probably hampered her thought process. Silence followed, which felt painfully long as it filled the room.

“K-Konoe!?”

There, like the strings of a puppet had been cut, Konoe collapsed to the ground, losing consciousness.

“!”

As a result of that, her defenseless body was right in my view. Before I could see anything, I dodged and ran to the bed, grabbed a blanket, and covered Konoe’s body with that. Of course, without taking a single glance at her body.

“……”

No, I wasn’t lying, okay. I don’t mind betting my pride on that. Maybe Konoe passed out because I saw her naked, maybe it was because of the kiss…I don’t know which it could be, but I definitely wouldn’t use this kind of situation for myself.

“Uuuu…Kissed…Jirou…” Konoe let out a faint groan, mumbling in her sleep.

A-Anyway, I’ll just go back to my tent for today, and apologize one more time tomorrow. Thinking about that, I remembered the scenery from just now, and my heart skipped a beat. Rubbing my reddened cheeks, I felt how hot they were. Damn it, how am I supposed to look her in the eyes…!

“…G-Good night, Konoe.” I muttered, and quietly left the room.

Either way, with this, my first day at work ended, but it was only the beginning of the coming storm, is what I felt.

1 Short for Momotaro Densetsu, which sounds like Japanese monopoly if you ask me lul

2 The original goes Su -> Su (Vinegar) -> ki (which would be like) -> sukiyaki.

3 A technique from Hajime no Ippo