Moonless Nights

"But Jan started it!" Silvio sputtered.

"I know that. Do you not think he's being dealt with as well?"

"But…"

"I don't care. You were still cruel, and need to face the consequences of your actions!"

Silvio knew there was no arguing against Crowe. He resigned himself to his fate as the crabby Professor pulled him by the arm into his office.

"Sit," he commanded.

Silvio obeyed, dragging his feet against the floor. Even the gently pulsating color patterns of Crowe's giant land slugs in their pen couldn't calm his racing nerves.

"Silvio," said Crowe, sitting at his own desk and folding his hands into a steeple, "can't you think before running your mouth? You're an intelligent boy. What's going on with you today?"

He grimaced. That was a loaded question, and not one he was sure how to answer. He had a lot of things on his mind.

"Do I have to work with Jan?" he asked, squirming in his seat. "He's been awful to me to the whole year. I didn't mean to hurt him like that, but when he said I was useless I just lost it." He wiped a few tears from his cheeks. Crowe offered him a handkerchief, which he accepted. "And I was already upset, since…" He bit his lip.

Crowe sighed. "Does this have to do with Blessings?"

Silvio nodded. "I'm sorry for…"

"No. The fault is my own, although I do appreciate your thought. I failed you as both your educator and your uncle when I lost control of my magic. In truth, I had no good reason to get as upset as I did. In the future I'll do better to control my anger, but in the meantime, could you ever forgive me?"

"Yes, of course I can. I didn't know that Blessings were such an issue. And I'm sorry for mentioning them again, but…"

"But what?" Crowe raised an eyebrow.

"Isaana-sa read my Blessing earlier."

He g.r.o.a.n.e.d.

"… And Hana's too. Hers was so much cooler than mine. And it's just… Hana's good at magic, and she never gets picked on because she sucks like me. Even though I'm working so hard, I haven't been able to catch up to her, and Jan's right! I AM useless, and at this point I think I'm gonna fail all my classes! And if I fail I can't become a policeman!"

"I see." Crowe rubbed his temples. "Don't you think you're catastrophizing a bit, there? But I understand your feelings. It's hard to be in the same grade as your sibling. You know, even though I'm older than your mother, she was always getting compared to me when she was in school. She had feelings similar to yours, and I still feel bad about it to this day. I bet Hana's also worried about you. Why don't you try talking to her about how you feel?"

"What? No!" He waved his hands in front of him. "Hana's so shy and nervous! What if she takes it the wrong way? I can't let her feel worse!"

"You're a good person, Silvio, and I can tell you regret what you said to Jan." He paused. "But you need to learn how to communicate your emotions better. And you know what? As of right now you're not failing my class, at least. I've been taking your work ethic and improvement into account, and I'm sure your other teachers are, too."

Silvio brightened up a bit.

"But I'm going to be honest with you, Silvio. It's very possible you don't have as high an aptitude for magic as your sister. I respect your drive, but sometimes we need to accept our limitations."

"Oh." Silvio returned to shuffling his feet.

"But just because you're not so good in one area doesn't mean you'll never be able to become a policeman or even be happy," Crowe pointed out. "We just have to find our niche. Eliza's happy as your mother, and I enjoy religious life and academia. We're two different people with different talents, and we both found our way in life. While your spellcasting itself needs work, you're definitely my brightest student. You have a good sense of justice and are better at interacting with people than Hana. And since you want to be a police officer, let me tell you that the spells they use aren't very high-level, but they could really use your brains. See? There are many paths to your dreams."

Silvio nodded. He felt a bit better, but he refused to accept that he might not catch up to his classmates.

"And as for Blessings…" Crowe stood up and stared out the window, resting his hands on the frame. "This is the last time I'll talk to you about them, so please heed my words. My Blessing—the Blessing of the Barriers—it isn't very interesting. All I can do is make forcefields." To demonstrate, he held his palm out, a little purple shield appearing in it. "But everyone's Blessing is unique. So it isn't a matter of which one is 'coolest.' It's what you do with it that people and the Gods care about."

"Are Blessings a bad thing to talk about?" asked Silvio. He feared offending Crowe once more, but the man only locked up a bit before loosening his demeanor a second later.

"How do I put this…?" mumbled Crowe. "Silvio, while it seems like it should, people don't… people don't necessarily have to do heroic things to get them…"

"What?" Silvio jumped up in his seat. "Uncle Crowe, you haven't killed anybody or anything like that?!"

"What? I, uh…" He shook his head vehemently. "No, of course not! Why would you think that?" He leaned against the windowsill. "See, the Gods' only condition to earn a Blessing is that you impress them. And I… well, I impressed Isaana, but what I did is something I'm not proud of. I… Isaana-sa is precious to me, but the Gods… you have to understand they're not human and haven't been human for a very long time. They don't have to share our sense of morality. So do you see how trying to get Blessed is dangerous?"

Silvio nodded once more. He understood, but as before, he didn't necessarily accept Crowe's words. His head reeled, spinning with many conflicting emotions. He couldn't see Uncle Crowe doing something illegal in his past. Maybe he did something funny and embarrassing, and it entertained Isaana so much she gave him a Blessing as a penny for his thoughts? Ignatius Crowe was dignified and a little haughty; it made sense for him not to want to relive his lesser moments.

He decided that he still wanted a Blessing, but he would earn it by doing good, no matter what.

"So there you have it, Silvio. Maybe I'll tell you how I earned it when you're a little older, but right now you wouldn't understand. I just want you to judge me as the person I am now."

"I see."

"I'm glad you understand. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's determine your punishment."

"Ehhh? Seriously?"

"As I said, actions have consequences. Of course, an apology is in order."

"Do I have to work with Jan still?"

Crowe nodded. "The most important thing about becoming an a.d.u.l.t isn't magic, it's learning how to work with others. I'm going to send you two on a mission together…" He stopped. "… Then again, I should run this through with the Goddess first. Isaana-sa?" he called.

"You rang?" Isaana's head phased through the ceiling, looking down at them with an expression of bewildered amus.e.m.e.nt. Silvio jumped back, and she laughed. "Ah, to think I'd see boy Sabatka again so soon! Oh, Silvio, I can't believe you mocked a cripple!"

"Ahem." Crowe stood up on his desk and whispered into her ear.

She nodded along to him, occasionally making a sound of attentiveness as he spoke. "That sounds amusing!" she chirped at last. "Go for it. Thank you, my darling Iggy." With that, she planted a kiss on his forehead and disappeared back up into the ceiling before he could react, blushing.

Silvio stared.

"Uhhh… never mind her! What matters is the punishment's authorized!" he stuttered. "Silvio, pack some warm clothes!"

-

It was early Saturday morning when Silvio arrived at the meeting point, a big bag of supplies and snowshoes strapped across his back. Using his staff for leverage, he staggered over to Jan, eyeing him with distaste.

He couldn't believe Crowe's punishment for them was to make them do a mail run. It was only for the weekend, he reminded himself. Just go to Hakalai Pass, drop off Eleora-sa's Illunis Festival invitation, and scurry on back home. Surely Jan couldn't be any more insufferable than he was in their room.

"Ah! Um! Sorry I'm late, boys!" A short, chubby woman ran up to them, huffing and puffing. Pressing her hands against the wall to regain her breath, Ffion, dressed in so many layers she looked like a puff pastry, wiped sweat from her brow. "Ahh, I can't believe Isaana-sa assigned me to this!"

"You're coming with us, Professor Ffion?" asked Silvio, dumbfounded.

Ffion bent herself back into a standing position and chuffed. "Did you think we'd let a couple of twelve-year olds out into the wilderness without supervision? Of course I am!"

"Aren't we just taking the train, though?"

"The train?" She shook her head. "The train tracks in the mountains are always slippery. It'd take days for us to arrive! We're flying!"

"Flying? Why not just teleport there and get it over with?"

"That is also too dangerous. Lanua lanue is above your level, and I'm not going to waste my stones' magic reserves to teleport three people and supplies all the way there! Speaking of which, your enchanted stones still have enough juice, right?"

Jan and Silvio nodded.

"Good! I know you've never flown before, but it's very easy. Now watch me." Ffion straddled her staff, and clearing her throat, shouted, "O Gods of the land and sky, hear my prayer and bestow upon me your blessings: Luminosi alasi!" Light pink magic erupted from the glowing stones and unfurled into giant, ethereal swan wings. With one powerful flap, they carried her into the air, hovering as she continued giving directions.

Jan raised his hand. "Professor! Can I modify the spell so it enchants my wheelchair?"

Ffion gave a nervous laugh. "Aha! Of course! I was just about to get into that… definitely. Magical theory and nomenclature is more Ignatius' forte… but simple spells like these can be tweaked to an extent. In the ancient language, the suffix 'su' denotes something in your possession, so to tailor the spell to your wheelchair instead of your staff, you'd picture your wheelchair in your head and say 'luminosi alosisu.' Oh—that's probably not a very good explanation; I'm awful at this—but please try it out!"

"O Gods of the land and sky, hear my prayer and bestow upon me your blessings: Luminosi alosisu." Jan waved his staff, and a ball of red magic materialized above it. Using his staff, he directed it to the back of his wheelchair, and the magic latched on, unraveling a gigantic pair of glimmering albatross wings from the object's sides.

He too joined Ffion in the sky, but unlike her was unable to hover, the powerful wings beating to keep him airborne.

"Okay, Silvio!" called Ffion down to him. "It's your turn!"

Silvio looked up and gulped. He didn't share Hana's fear of heights, but even to a brave boy like him, riding high in the sky with only a staff to balance on sounded crazy. Nonetheless, he complied, deciding that riding side-saddle would be the most comfortable position.

The spell activated the first time, which was a surprise, but instead of a grand pair of wings, those of a golden sparrow's rolled out and flopped to the floor. To add insult to injury, they were even missing a few feathers here and there.

"Oh," said Ffion, blanching. "That's… that should… work? Let's fly at a low altitude, though, starting at forty kilometers per hour until you two find your balance!"

Ffion and Jan descended, and with several graceless, frantic flaps, Silvio wobbled into the air with them, gripping onto the handle for dear life.

"All right, boys, let's head due northwest, and don't stop unless you absolutely have to. Eleora-sa loves making bad weather. Even this time of year, flash blizzards can happen in the mountains! Hup hup!" With a kick in the air, Ffion started forward.

-

He fumbled for his chapstick.

Silvio shivered and pulled his parka around him more tightly, l.i.c.k.i.n.g his parched lips in the cold mountain air. How long had they been flying? It must be late afternoon by now. He was tired, hungry, and not to mention his b.u.t.t hurt—maybe sitting on a stick for hours at a time in midair wasn't the most practical means of transportation?

He couldn't wait to get to Hakalai Pass. Silvio didn't know how doing this would help him get along with Jan. Deep down, he suspected Crowe just didn't want to make the delivery himself and used them as a scapegoat instead.

But at least the sun no longer blared down on him, instead offering the shade of a blanket of dark clouds. He looked at Ffion and Jan, far in front of him, blinking as a few snow flurries got in his eyes.

Ffion shouted something, but he couldn't hear her.

… The snow was really picking up, wasn't it?

Gritting his teeth, he willed his staff to go faster, but along with him and the weight of all his stuff, it wouldn't. A strong gust of wind battered his staff, almost knocking him off. With a shriek of fear, Silvio hugged the handle, trying his best just to stay in control as the wind buffeted him about.

Closing his eyes, he offered a prayer to Eleora-sa, begging her to be merciful.

"Oi, Silvio!"

He snapped them back open.

Jan flew over to him, struggling with the wind and snow himself.

"You're too slow. A blizzard's moving in and Ffion told me to tow you. Grab on to my chair."

Silvio didn't even counter his insult. He did as he was told, squeezing the wheelchair handle with all his strength while Jan flew as fast as they could go in the snow. Eleora-sa hadn't answered his prayer. In fact, she seemed to have done the opposite of what he asked. By now the blizzard was so intense visibility was almost gone, and it felt like they were flying in circles.

"There!" Silvio pointed to the right. He could still make out the pink beacon of Ffion's magic even in the snow. Jan nodded and flew toward her.

Bang!

A peel of lightning struck in front of them, accompanied by a loud clap of thunder.

Jan cried out and jerked his wheelchair away from it, but he overcorrected, falling out of his wheelchair. Freed from the influence of its Sorcerer, it tumbled down and was swallowed up in the unrelenting whiteness. Jan screamed and fell after it. Panicking, Silvio made a split second decision. He reached out and grabbed his arm, but Jan's velocity was too great, and he dragged him down as well, spiraling into the mountains.

They landed t.h.i.g.h-deep in a pile of snow, the wind whipping it around them so intensely it felt like knives digging into their exposed cheeks. Silvio rubbed his head, groaning. The flight spell must've slowed the fall, and that's why he was alive.

Struggling to stand up, he yelled for Jan.

"I'm here!" he called back.

Silvio stumbled in the direction of his voice, digging through the snow with his staff until he found him, dazed and groaning in pain.

"You okay?" he shouted over the roar of the blizzard.

"I think you dislocated my shoulder!" he m.o.a.n.e.d. "But never mind that! Do you see my wheelchair?"

Silvio shook his head. Even with Luz he could only see a few feet ahead of him, but he did find his staff. Giving it back to Jan, he sent a flare into the air, but it quickly dissipated in the storm.

"No good," said Jan. "Ffion won't be able to find us."

Silvio's teeth chattered. "We need to find shelter."

Jan shrunk back. "Then leave me."

"What? I don't hate you enough to kill you!"

"No, I mean it." Jan sighed. "Don't be a fool. I can't walk. I'd be a burden to you, and then we'd both die."

"I refuse." Silvio looked around and located his bag. Staggering over to it, he took out his snowshoes and strapped himself into them. He glided toward Jan on them, taking one last look at his things, but it was no good—they would just weigh them down.

Silvio crouched by him. "Grab onto my back. I'll carry you."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Just do it!"

Jan g.r.o.a.n.e.d, but wrapped his arms around Silvio's neck anyway, m.o.a.ning with pain. He struggled to right himself. Jan was much heavier than his supplies, but Silvio was determined to get to safety.

If they didn't, they would perish. This storm had no mercy for the weak.

Using both of their staffs as poles, Silvio took him into the forest, which offered some respite from the wind and snow, but not much.

But it was enough to find the entrance to a little ice cave, barely big enough for the two of them. Rushing up to it, Silvio placed Jan inside, sticking his snowshoes up in the snow before joining him.

The temperature inside the cave was still freezing, but compared to the outside, it offered enormous relief. Jan healed his arm with magic while Silvio huddled up to the cave wall to escape the punishment of the wind.

"Eleora-sa isn't a merciful Goddess, is she?" he quipped at last.

"It's well-known in Hakalai Pass she'll have her storm whether people are traveling or not."

"But she did provide this cave for us." Silvio's breath misted up in the atmosphere. "So in a way of sorts I guess she answered my prayer?"

"Either way, if we don't find Ffion, we're boned."

Silvio agreed with Jan for once. "Do you have a Message Crystal?" he asked. "Let's try calling her."

Jan brightened up and fished one out of his pocket. But a moment later, he became crestfallen. "At this time, seriously?" He threw it against the wall in anger. "It's out of magic. We're done for."

"Ah-ah! Don't say that! We're not gonna die!"

"… Lightning AND a blizzard, seriously? If we do get out of this, I'm going to switch to worshipping Isaana-sa full time if Eleora doesn't clear the storm soon."

Silvio forced a laugh. "We're probably better off than Ffion." He pulled his knees to his c.h.e.s.t. "What if she didn't make it?"

Jan sighed and summoned a tiny flame, placing it between the two of them. Silvio scooted closer to him for warmth.

"Silvio…"

"You were right, Jan." Silvio looked out of the cave mouth, watching the blizzard rage outside. "I'm useless. If I hadn't been so slow, we would've made it before the storm." A tear rolled down his cheek, but it was so cold it froze in place. "I promise I'm gonna get you out of this, but when we get back to school... I think I'm going to drop out. I'm not like you or Hana. My magic isn't strong. You're top of the class—you're right that you deserve a better project partner than me. I won't bother you anymore."

Jan inhaled, and then he suddenly smacked Silvio.

"Ow!" He held his cheek. "Why?"

"Silvio, I'm a massive asshole, but you're always going on and on about how you want to be the best Sorcerer ever. Snap out of it! You can't quit school because of me!"

"But I'm no good at it…"

Smack.

"Who cares? If it makes you happy, then don't stop! I'm just one person! Why are you letting my stupid opinion get to you so much?"

"Because it's the truth!" Silvio's shout echoed around them.

"I…" Jan held his hands over the flame. "… At least you're doing your best."

"What do you mean by that?"

Jan sighed. "I… I can't believe I'm about to say this…"

"What?"

"I guess since we might die out here, I should say I'm sorry." Jan wiped his forehead. "I've been a huge d.i.c.k to you since the day we met. You didn't deserve it. But you're always so happy and full of wonder… it pissed me off. For you, magic is a fun thing full of possibilities for you to explore, but for me, it's all I can do to be of some use in this world. I mean, since I can't do much of anything else. I envy that. But I never hated you, though you're right to hate me. And b-because I bullied you, now we're both screwed." He shivered.

"If you don't hate me, then why were you so mean?"

"Because people always end up getting hurt when they're around me!" he yelled. "That Worker, you and Ffion…" His breath hitched.

"But those were accidents!"

"But I still couldn't do anything!" He clenched his fists, expression dark against his wispy blond hair. "… When I was little, my family was in a train accident. It derailed. I broke my back. My Mom threw me out of the wreckage before it went up in flames. I so wanted to run back and save my family, but I couldn't move. They all died that day. My Aunt took me in, but she was always worrying and fussing over me. She never wanted children, so I'm just a burden she didn't ask for. And now that I'm stuck in this stupid wheelchair, I can't help anyone when they need it. All I do is cause people pain, and... why am I telling you this?"

Silvio blinked, overwhelmed by this new information. He pitied Jan, but he didn't speak up, as that was the opposite of what he wanted. Incurable injuries and diseases couldn't be healed—it was a cruel law of magic he learned in Healing Arts. Magic was a wonderful tool, but no matter what, a Sorcerer could not violate the Laws of Impossibility.

"… So maybe, I thought, if I push people away, then nobody will agonize over me, even if my body's like this, so I won't cause them trouble anymore."

Silvio blinked. And then he let out a laugh, a mighty bellow that bounced around the room, only to be silenced by the raging of the storm.

"Wh-What's so funny?" Jan sputtered, cheeks growing rosy.

"You're nice!"

"What? No I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!" Silvio doubled over, tears of mirth streaming down his face. "It's not right, but you were coming from a good place! Jan, don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"It doesn't matter that you're paralyzed! You're not a burden! You're still helpful regardless of how you see it!"

"How? How am I helpful?"

"You gave Mica your sash to wrap his arm. You helped fight the bear. You towed me, and you were even willing to freeze to death so I could live. I was wrong about you! You're not a bad person." He shook his head. "... But you still hurt me."

"I know."

"I think I can forgive you. On one condition, though."

Jan raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Stop pushing people away."

He grimaced. "That's…"

"Aren't you lonely like this?"

Jan folded his fingers in his l.a.p and nodded. The flame's shadows licked across his face, making it look very tired and sunken-in. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be? This sucks. But I can't have people hurt…"

"Then I won't give you any pity!"

Jan offered him a wry smile. "You're seriously going that route?"

"Yep. Seriously. Other people may treat you like you're made out of glass, but I won't show you any mercy. And it's true you hurt me, but people grow! We can work past those sorts of things! You have to stop dwelling on what you did, and focus on how to fix it. And even if you can't fix it, forgive yourself. People make mistakes. Your parents loved you, and I'm sure they felt they made the right decision until the very end. Don't carry their burden."

"Ugh, stop making sense!"

"So do you agree to my condition or not?" Silvio held out his hand.

Jan hesitated, but at last grasped it and shook it. "Fine. Before you friendship me to death."

"I'm not forcing you to be my friend." He shrugged. "But if you want to, that's fine with me."

"I'll… I'll consider it."

The conversation died down and they sat there, watching the storm.

"It really isn't letting up, is it?" said Silvio.

"I guess if it came to it we could eat my legs…"

"Don't joke about things like that! We're getting home!"

A creature suddenly flitted in, circling the flame. Silvio rubbed his eyes and blinked. A butterfly? A red admiral... this time of year? In a blizzard?

"What's up with this bug?" he asked.

"That's so weird," said Jan. He reached out his hand, trying to get it to land on him, but the butterfly just exited, disappearing as quickly as it came. Dumbstruck, they looked after it until it disappeared, and then everything was silent again. Several more minutes passed, and it soon faded into the recesses of their minds.

"Hello?" A third voice abruptly called out to them, and the warm glow of a lantern radiated through the ice walls. "Are you in there? Are you alive?"

"Help!" cried Silvio and Jan together. "We're here! We're stranded!"

The light disappeared, only to reappear a moment later right at the cave entrance, illuminating a thickly bundled a.d.u.l.t figure. It paused for a moment, then gasped. "Herra Silvio, is that you?" The person set down his lantern and pulled down his hood, revealing none other than Mica the miner.

"Worker?" Jan sputtered.

"Mica! Am I glad to see you!"

"Likewise! What are you doin' here?" asked Mica, breathless.

"We were flying to Hakalai Pass, but there was a blizzard and we fell. Praise… Rirasiru-sa? How did you find us?"

Mica chuckled. "Yes, this is very fortunate! I got caught in the blizzard, too. I was checkin' the salmon traps, but when I tried to go home, I found this busted-up wheelchair stickin' out of the snow."

Jan g.r.o.a.n.e.d.

"And I saw your flare!"

"You... did?" said Jan.

"Luckily for you, my dogs caught your scent. Oh, you must be freezin'. My hut's only a few kilometers away. You can stay with me until the storm passes."

"What? We're in Minumna?" Jan g.r.o.a.n.e.d again. "That's not even close to Hakalai Pass!"

"Papa and I live outside of the village, but you're right. Minumna's not too far away. Let's stop the chit-chat. If we really fly, I can get us to shelter before the storm gets really bad."

What? The worst was yet to come?

"Not like I'm going to refuse," Jan crossed his arms, "but Worker, how exactly will you get us there?"

"My dog team's the fastest in the North! C'mon, you two can ride in the sled." Mica didn't wait for any words of protest. He scooped Jan up and ran outside, Silvio following him with the lantern. Sure enough, there was a dog sled out there, already becoming covered in snow. Three bear-sized Samoyeds stood at attention, blending into their surroundings except for their jingle-bell harnesses and little black noses. Mica placed him in the sled. Silvio sat next to him, and Mica strapped them and their staffs in, standing on the foot boards. Cracking the dogs' harness, he yelled, "Hike!" and they were off at a breakneck pace, cutting through the snow with ease.

Silvio sighed. It was warmer next to Jan in the sled. Eyelids drooping, he realized how tired he actually was. He kept his promise. They were saved. Letting the weight drop from his shoulders, he drifted off into dreamland.