My 26-year-old Female Tenant

I dragged my suitcase and walked blankly on the street where there were few passers-by. My heart was full of melancholy. I never thought that in Xuzhou, the city where I was born and raised, I would have a day when I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t help asking myself: My Is the choice really worth it?

  I dare not think too deeply about this issue. Whether it is worth it or not, I have already made a choice, and returning to Suzhou to help Le Yao solve the crisis in the bar has become an inevitable thing.

This night, I found a small hotel near the train station to stay, but I suffered from insomnia all night. I controlled myself not to think wildly while awake, but the appearance of Li Xiaoyun still occupied all my thoughts. It's only been a few months, but I really can't bear to give up. In her, I found the sense of security that men also need.

   I don’t know how long it took, but I finally lit a cigarette for myself, and when the cigarette was finished, a corner of the morning sun was exposed outside the window, and the dawn came just like that, but the wind was still so cold!

  …

  The morning came like this, but I didn't have any appetite, so I came to the company in a trance with the written resignation letter.

When I was about to enter the elevator, Li Xiaoyun also came from another direction. We just met each other, but each stood in front of an elevator. I looked at her in the crowd. Her eyes were still red and swollen, and she was probably crying. After one night, she suffered no less than me.

I pushed through the crowd, came to the elevator that Li Xiaoyun was waiting for, stood beside her, and called her, but she ignored me, and the elevator came down at this time, and Li Xiaoyun walked in one step ahead of me. The elevator, and I followed suit.

  The crowd in the elevator squeezed me and Li Xiaoyun tightly together, but in the mutual silence, our hearts have already parted.

While the elevator was going up, I wanted to talk to Li Xiaoyun several times, but I still didn’t know how to speak. After a long time, I asked, “Have you had breakfast?” Li Xiaoyun just looked at me indifferently, but didn’t respond. This indifference was maintained until we walked into the company together.

  I finally grabbed Li Xiaoyun, she looked at me coldly and asked, "What are you doing?"

  Based on my understanding of women, this kind of coldness is just a sign before death, so I was silent for a long time before saying: "Let's have a meal together at noon today, I think we should talk."

   "Okay, I also think we should talk." After Li Xiaoyun finished speaking, I broke free from my grasp of her hand, and then walked to my office.

  I looked at her back, stood in a daze for a while, and then walked to the director's office, with only one purpose, which was to submit a letter of resignation with apology.

  …

Although Director Zhou tried his best to persuade me to stay, I made up my mind to go, and finally approved my resignation application in desperation, because I still have several follow-up projects in my hand, so it takes about a week to complete the work handover, and This week will be my last days in Xuzhou.

  During lunchtime, Li Xiaoyun and I sat opposite each other in a small box in a restaurant downstairs in the company.

  The atmosphere was as dull and depressing as expected. Because I was ashamed of Li Xiaoyun for not speaking for a long time, Li Xiaoyun finally asked, "Have you handed over your resignation letter to Director Zhou this morning?"

"Um."

   "How long will it take to complete the work handover?" Li Xiaoyun asked as if trying to maintain calm.

  I replied in a low voice, "About a week."

Li Xiaoyun's expression became painful, and tears finally fell down uncontrollably. She cried and said, "Zhaoyang, is your heart really made of iron? It's just that from yesterday to today, you have denied everything and made me Pushing into the abyss, have you considered my feelings, and have you considered the feelings of my family?...They entrusted their daughter's life to you...!"

  I lowered my head and remained silent, my heart full of guilt, but at this time, except for changing the result, any words are so pale.

  Li Xiaoyun looked at me with hateful eyes, so I became more panic and guilty, and after a long time said in a low voice: "If you are willing to wait, I can go back to Xuzhou."

"Back to Xuzhou?... If it's a man, maybe I'm willing to wait. It's okay for a year or so. After all, I'm only 25 years old and I can afford to wait, but you just want to wait for a woman. What kind of mentality do you want me to wait for? " Li Xiaoyun asked in tears, said.

   "She and I are really just friends, not as complicated as you think." I defended and said.

"Really? You touch your conscience and say that nothing happened between you and her... Don't treat other people as fools. Why doesn't she look for someone else but you, Zhaoyang, and you are willing to abandon your family and your fiancée?" If you want to help her, can this still be an ordinary relationship between a man and a woman?... Tell me!"

  Facing Li Xiaoyun's questioning, I couldn't argue with anything. Although Le Yao and I had no relationship between men and women, we did have **** with her during the most decadent period of our lives. Can such a relationship be called pure?

My silence made Li Xiaoyun even more angry. In my anger, I saw her desperate expression, and then I took out the engagement diamond ring we bought together a few days ago from my handbag, put it in front of me and said: " Zhaoyang, let's break up, pretend we never met."

  I looked at Li Xiaoyun, her lips were trembling slightly, and so was I, but after all, I couldn't say a word of convincing, because it was too futile.

   "You can keep this ring..."

  Li Xiaoyun smiled disdainfully: "Why, do you feel sorry?... Zhaoyang, the money to buy the ring belongs to your parents. Now that we have broken up, you have no right to give me the ring."

   There was a stabbing pain in my heart. I could understand Li Xiaoyun's implication, and I also remembered the embarrassment when I first returned to Xuzhou. It was Li Xiaoyun who rescued my embarrassment. Maybe after leaving Xuzhou, I will return to the days when I was useless.

   "I'm sorry." I finally said to Li Xiaoyun.

Li Xiaoyun resolutely said to me: "Don't tell me I'm sorry, I'll take everything I've experienced in the past few months as a catastrophe in my life, I just hope you won't give another woman hope in the future Destroy this hope with your own hands..." After speaking, he picked up his handbag and walked out of the private room.

I just sat there blankly, staring at the engagement ring that Li Xiaoyun left behind, and suddenly felt that my life was punctured and riddled with holes...Maybe there will be a day when I will regret the choice I made today .

  …

  At night after get off work, I was homeless and went back to the small hotel alone. I bought some beer to entertain my loneliness and depression.

  When I was a little dizzy from drinking, I received a call from Le Yao. At this moment, I didn't want to talk at all, so I hung up immediately, and then sent her a text message: "If you have anything to say, send a text message."

  Very happy, Yao replied a text message: "I'm still in Xuzhou, I want to have dinner with you... invite you to dinner!"

  In my dizziness, I sent another text message to Le Yao: "I've eaten, you can go back to Suzhou tomorrow, I have to hand over the work, and I will be there in a week."