Title: The Special Place That You Showed Me
 
Suuu.
 
The way our deep breaths overlapped made both of us smile wryly.
I tried extending my hand but quickly retracted it. But if I don’t manage to do this, nothing will proceed. So, I resolved myself and stretched out my hand—Our hands extended at the exact same time.
 
“U–, um….Please….”
 
Yuki hung her head, embarrassed. Her eyes, however, were cast upwards at me, timidly watching me. I felt strangely hot. 
 
I wonder why even the tips of my ears feel this warm. I’m being too conscious of her, I told myself. 
 
“Um, that, you know? You don’t have to force yourself— And, um, we can just do it when you have trouble breathing…..”
 
Yuki shook her head. Then, she extended her hand towards me.
 
“….I don’t want that to happen in the first place.”
“Well of course that would be the case.”
 
As I felt the pleasant warmth of her hand, my heart began to pound intensely, and I felt like I was the one that was going to hyperventilate.
 
(Calm down. Chill out, me)
 
But—For some mysterious reason, it began to pound even faster. I could feel it racing faster and faster. On the other hand, there was a part of me that was calmed by the warmth of Yuki’s hand.
 
Shouldn’t we be going by now? Without saying anything to each other, the two of us began walking at the same time. It’s probably just an illusion, but, when our hands are linked together like this, it feels like we can communicate to each other without words. This isn’t a movie, though, so there’s no way that’s possible.
 
“Also, it’s not like I want to do this kind of thing with everyone. It’s because you’re Fuyu-kun–”
“Huh?”
“Nothing—”
 
Yuki faced forward, indicating that she wanted to go. Her hand, which was only lightly gripping just a second ago, tightened around my hand.
We left the entrance, passed the garden, and made it to the public roads. I periodically checked Yuki’s expression, but she didn’t seem to be having trouble with breathing yet.
“Yep, I’m fine. It’s not painful at all right now.”
“I see. That’s great then.”
“Yeah, today my body’s feeling really good.”
 
I unconsciously smiled. Yuki squeezed my hand. It was like she was telling me ‘thank you.’ I might be completely incorrect about that though. 
I squeezed back slightly, trying to say “don’t worry about it.”
 
In no time at all, we arrived at the park we were at yesterday.
 
During that time, we passed a bunch of people–Elementary students, middle school students, housewives, and old men and women. It was a saving grace that we didn’t pass anybody from our school. Worried about Yuki’s breathing, my eyes traveled to Yuki’s neck, chest, and lips—But, as soon as I was aware of what I was doing, my face heated up.
 
(No, my actions aren’t motivated by evil feelings. They aren’t, I swear!)  
 
I quickly realized the fact that I was making these excuses to myself was the most condemning evidence of my evil feelings. 
 
Her lips were small but charming. And I couldn’t help but like the voice that leaked through those very lips, a voice that was seemingly weak but actually expressed her feelings and wishes.
 
I wonder what kind of “like” the “like” I feel is. I’m afraid of misunderstanding. For Yuki, her feelings must be pure affection for a friend, or at least that’s what I think. It’s just that, compared to normal friends, the distance between us feels a lot closer than normal. However, thinking about her circumstances, that was unavoidable.
 
And, conversely, I don’t think I should take advantage of that.
I don’t want to lose the precious friend I’ve made by doing something like that.
 
“—-Fuyu-kun, hey, Fuyu-kun. Fuyu-kun?”
 
When I finally realized that she was calling out to me, I jumped a bit in surprise.
 
“Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something.”
“Thinking?”
 
In actuality, I was captivated by her lips, but there’s no way I—
Suddenly, I realized that Yuki’s face was flushed bright red.
 
“Huh? Did I say what I was thinking out loud?”
“Yeah…so you were captivated….”
 
Somehow, in front of Yuki, I lose all awareness of what I’m doing. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the mental bandwidth to spare. Even I’m surprised at how hard I’ve been trying for Yuki. I didn’t know that I could be this type of person. I wonder what kind of face my childhood friends would make if they saw me like this. Most likely—they’d think they were being deceived. Or maybe they’d look at me like I was some foreign object.
 
—Are you seriously Fuyuki?
 
They would ask me that while looking at me with those eyes. I felt that way too. Up until now, I have never tried anywhere near as hard for someone else as I have for Yuki. I’ve always just followed my childhood friends around. 
 
That’s why they were so worried when I told them I was going to a school outside of the prefecture. That decision was the result of my parents’ work situations and me wondering whether I could stay like this, though. 
Oh, I got caught up in my own thoughts again. When I looked at her, Yuki was looking at me a little—No, very–dissatisfied. She was pouting a bit too.
 
“Um, Yuki-san?”
“Fuyu-kun, I can’t read your thoughts but–”
“Y-, yeah….”
“I feel like the things you were just thinking about didn’t include me.”
 
I gasped. It felt like someone had grabbed my heart. Am I an idiot? It’s stupid for me to be thinking about my childhood friends. I’m ignoring the friend in front of me.
I turned and properly met Yuki’s gaze.
“Yeah.”
 
A smile blossomed on Yuki’s face.
 
“Fuyu-kun, you finally looked at me.”
 
The way she smiled looked truly happy. 
 
Right now I want to do all that I can to help my precious friend with her rehabilitation. That’s all I felt.
 
“Then, Fuyu-kun, could you listen to what I’m saying this time?”
 
(Huh? Has Yuki been trying to talk to me this entire time? It’s way too late to realize this now, but what have I been doing? Am I this dumb?) 
 
I felt a bit of self-loathing.
And then, as though she noticed what I was thinking, she smiled.
 
“You don’t have to make a face like that. What matters is that you’re properly looking at me now, Fuyu-kun. Being able to talk to you really makes me happy.”
 
Her smile gradually grew larger and larger.
 
“Fuyu-kun, there’s a place that I want to go with you.”
 
 
■■■
 
I continued to hold Yuki’s hand as we walked. We passed through an area with many buildings before reaching an area where more fields and farms began to dot the landscape. There was a thicket of trees, and Yuki led me into it without hesitation. Despite being early spring, the path was dotted with dead leaves.
 
I stared at my surroundings, amazed.
 
It was hard to believe that we had just passed through a residential district.
The trees were so abundant. They grew like majestic arches, covering everything in sight.
 
The rotting cobblestones were just barely visible, indicating what used to be a path. Even the little that remained was being eroded by greenery. The roots of the trees were scattered, like the steps on a staircase.
 
Yuki dexterously ascended the path. If anything, I was the one that was off balance–
 
“Fuyu-kun, are you okay?”
 
I was okay since Yuki had practically hugged me in order to stop my fall, but—.
 
“Uh, um….yeah.”
 
Too close, Yuki. You’re too close.
 
“I feel bad that the road is so deteriorated, but it’s just a little more, okay?”
 
Yuki smiled. This time she was careful of my pace as we moved along.
We continued along the windy path.
 
The sound of insects. The chirping of birds. The whisper of the wind.
It was like a different world.
The bright red torii gates towered over us. It was as if the shrine was waiting for our arrival.
“It’s just a little bit more.”
 
As expected, Yuki also seemed tired, and her breathing was ragged. However, she didn’t look like she was in pain, so I let her do what she wanted.
We passed through the deserted grounds of the shrine.
 
Finally, we ascended a set of stairs.
One step, another step. Yuki took me by the hand.
Then—In an instant, the curtain of green was pulled away. All I saw was the amazing scene that had suddenly appeared before my eyes.
 
“Woaaah.”
 
I gasped.
The sky spread out in front of me as I looked down on the town. Seeing my expression, Yuki laughed happily.
It was like we were in a garden in the sky. The word “spectacular” wasn’t enough to describe the scene I was looking at. I was so absorbed in what I saw.
 
“It’s been a while since I’ve come here. It was a bit painful, but I’m glad I made it.”
 
Even at a time like this, Yuki wouldn’t let go of my hand.
 
“Is it difficult for you to breathe?”
 
I instinctively tried to confirm Yuki’s condition, moving closer to Yuki and listening attentively to her breathing. Yuki looked embarrassed and shyly averted her gaze.
(The reason her cheeks seem so red must be because we’ve been walking so long. Good grief, she really pushes herself too hard.)
 
“Thank you, Fuyu-kun. My breathing is fine, thanks to you. The reason my breathing is rough is because of my lack of exercise.”
“You aren’t pushing yourself too hard right?”
“I’m not. I wanted you to come see this view with me. Whenever things are difficult or whenever I feel lonely, I always come here by myself.”
“This is a secret place….isn’t it? Is it fine to tell me about it?”
“It’s because you’re you. I wanted you to know about my special place, Fuyu-kun….I wanted to show this place to my important friend. Is that not okay?”
 
I took a seat on a stump. It was exactly the right size for both of us to sit beside each other, so Yuki also sat down. My eyes were drawn more to Yuki’s smiling face than the amazing scenery around us.
 
Unconsciously, I began to stroke Yuki’s hair.
Seemingly relieved, she rested her body against me.
This distance seems a bit too close for friends.
 
I began to feel strangely conscious of her, so I desperately tried to suppress the evil feelings forming inside of me.
Yuki is new to having relationships with people, and that’s why she doesn’t know how to maintain a proper distance. And that’s precisely why I absolutely can’t have these feelings. I would be taking advantage of her. 
No matter what, I can’t let my actions hurt Yuki. 
That’s why I accepted and answered her words honestly.
 
“That’s perfectly okay. I’m really happy about it.”
 
Those were my real feelings. She continued leaning on me and gave me a big smile. It’s probably because she feels satisfied from being affirmed.
I want to know more and more about Yuki. But, at the same time, I want to maintain our relationship as friends, the relationship that Yuki desires, until the very end. Those two feelings collided inside of me, conflicting.  
 
I just want Yuki to smile more. I want to see more and more of her unadorned smile. That was the one feeling that I couldn’t suppress. I’m so greedy aren’t I. But I’m doing my best to keep a lid on my other emotions, so I can be forgiven for this much, right?
 
“Huh, I can’t believe how happy it makes me to see you smile.”
“I feel the same way. Just seeing you smile makes me feel relieved. It makes me feel so satisfied. I’m really glad that you’re my friend.”
 
Yuki lightly squeezed my hand. I wanted to respond to her feelings. I wanted to tell her “me too.” I squeezed back. 
 
 
■■■
 
“Kamikawa and Yuk—I mean, Shimokawa-san?”
“Yuki?”
 
A boy and a girl in uniforms—One of them was Kaizaki. I stared in shock. Is this what it means for reality to feel fake? There’s no way that I met Kaizaki at a place like this. Presented with this unforeseen circumstance, my rational thinking was paralyzed. 
 
Yuki shuddered and tried to hide behind me, but we were sitting on a stump, making that impossible. Eventually, we ended up in an even closer, more intimate embrace.
 
However, at this point, I didn’t feel conflicted.
That was because I could feel Yuki’s shallow, rough breathing on me.
Without hesitation, I pulled her closer to me and embraced her, trying to hide her from them.
Seeing this, Kaizaki and the other person—a girl in a uniform who seemed to be the same year as us—seemed completely dumbfounded and couldn’t speak a word.
 
[TLN: Sorry for being like half a week late. I was done with like ¾ of the chapter and then the week started and then i had a bunch of shit to do so xd]

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