My Self - Insert Stash

-I've completely fallen in love with this author, so I'll probably put up 3 of his works... (this the 2nd one of his work)

An SI Multiverse Cross, Shade starts in Naruto and he'll become his teacher! The first few chapters are kind of slow but it does pick up after!

Sypnosis: SI Story. Travelling through dimensions is meant to be a fun thing, not a blood-curling experience of angst and despair. Then again, we've already seen it all, haven't we?

Rated: M

Words: 290K

Posted on: forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/bond-breaker-si-multiverse-cross.5951/threadmarks/ (shadenight123)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (*´ー｀*)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes. My natural routine, over the course of my years of life, has always been to wake up, go to the bathroom, head for the coffee pot -holy coffee- and then turn on my computer. I always did that. It's so deeply ingrained into my skull that the only thing that can prevent me from doing it is some sort of physical entity blocking my actions.

There were no physical entities blocking my path.

Then again, I wasn't even in my house to begin with.

And I didn't have legs.

That should have shocked me.

It didn't. It didn't mostly because it was either a dream -a very deep and vivid one, I admit- or it was a hallucination brought forth from lack of sleep.

Since one of my permanent fixtures are deep eye bags, I can reasonably deduce lack of sleep and hallucinations could be a part of it.

I never hallucinated before, so it was sort of cool to be actually conscious it was a hallucination of sorts.

The room I was in was a small one-room apartment, there was a kitchenette, a large window on one side, a bed in a corner, and a few drawers and dressers around. There was a low Japanese-style table, and a microwave on the counter top where the sink was.

There was a door leading to the bathroom, just as there was a door leading outside, probably.

The sound of a chain rustling caught my attention next, and I looked at my left arm.

Oh, how nice. I had a chain which seemed to tie around my arm, and that seemed to hold the other extremity beneath the bed sheets of the room's only other occupant.

I took a deep breath. Hallucinations were not real.

The fact was, the best thing to do when hallucinating is to stand still until it goes by, because you never know if your next step will lead you down the stairs, through a trafficked road, or in the middle of a gunfight.

Highly impossible, but excuse me for starting to freak out.

On the positive side, I could hear my heart drumming in my c.h.e.s.t at nine thousand miles per hour; the theory of hallucination was extremely vivid now. I just had to remain still, hope someone else in the house came to look for me, and wait until they called an ambulance.

Yes. That was a perfect plan.

I looked around the room once more. I distinctively felt as if I was standing -lack of legs notwithstanding- and so I tried to 'sit'.

I ended up passing through the floor and into the room beneath it.

I went through floors fast as I screamed and tried to stop my descent. It worked, somewhat, when I began to try to stand back up. This time, I ended up flying upwards at pretty much the same speed.

My screams simply grew shriller as I emerged out of the rooftops and into the bright, blue sky above the house.

At a certain point, the chain yanked me, and I stopped. The backlash took the breath out of my lungs, but thankful I wasn't going to hit the stratosphere or go beyond Earth's orbit, I wheezed out as I tried to calm the f.u.c.k out of myself.

"Hallucination note number one," I said, still hearing the drumming of my heart in my ears. "No f.u.c.k.i.n.g moving. No standing. No sitting. Don't. Move. The...I must have fallen from the bed. That's why I felt the fall. And now I must have stood back up; that explains the vertigo. All right. No moving any longer."

I wiped the sweat off my brow, and closed my eyes. The sun was annoying, but it was just a hallucination.

The breeze I felt, but then again I was in my...

I opened my eyes. Uh, no, I wasn't in my usual nightwear. I was wearing some sort of non-descriptive grey shirt and jacket, and there was nothing more than one of those ghost-like 'vapor trails' from beneath my navel, so no trousers.

I didn't feel exposed.

"At least I've got that going for me, which is nice," I murmured. I licked my lips. "Now, easy does it and-"

The chain yanked, hard, and I ended up screaming as I began to fall back down towards the house.

Anyone ever gone on one of those Orbital Elevators Rides? Imagine the feeling of doing that and being face first as you descend and hit the ground -admittedly, the roof- and then tell me, please tell me, if you'd do it again.

I wouldn't.

I never even went on one of those rides-from-hell.

I tried to 'stand' or whatever that feeling was, and as I did, I began to slow down -my manly screams of fear didn't stop me from trying to fly back up, of course, but I kept being yanked down.

Finally, I managed to slow down just as the final yanked pulled me back in the room I had woken up in.

The blue eyes of the sleeping child looked at me as I stared back.

His blond hair was all ruffled from the night's sleep, and there were dreadfully familiar whisker marks on his cheeks.

I g.r.o.a.n.e.d.

I g.r.o.a.n.e.d. Out. Loud.

"Who the hell are you!?" he shrieked, and let me tell you, a twelve or thirteen year old child screeching is terribly annoying.

"Apparently," I replied, "Dreaming I'm a Self-Insert."

That made the child frown, before he gave one look at my legs and blanched. He began to tremble and stutter.

"Y-Y-You're a ghost!" he screamed, pointing his finger at me.

I rolled my eyes. "And you are-"

The boy screamed louder and dashed out of the room, still in his pajama.

I looked at him go.

I looked at the chain and waited, patiently, for the nightmare to end. This was a hallucination -there was no way I was going to move and...

And suddenly, I was yanked hard as I ended up being pulled in whatever direction the boy was going.

"GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD DAAAMMMMNNNNN IIIITTTTTTTT"

/////////

Chapter 1 - Continuation (just added, my bad)

I admit, I was somewhat grateful the hallucination decided I was to be ghost-like in appearance and form. It meant I didn't have to run to keep up with Naruto's surprisingly quick dash out, nor did it mean I had to sweat in order not to end up a corpse dragged on the ground. My natural buoyancy made me look like one of those helium filled balloons, and there was nothing solid for me to hit against.

The people seemed to enjoy staring in the direction I was being pulled towards, but apparently no one seemed to care about me in particular.

Heck, they probably couldn't see me, if the ghost-like appearance I held was of any indication.

Then again, hallucination. It wasn't supposed to make sense; it had to merely be. One night, I had a dream about me being a toddler on a tricycle, escaping an Alien and passing through a battlefield where marines and spacemarines fought each other using the kitchen's table as an impromptu divider.

Don't judge me by my dreams.

I'm sane, and I never dreamed something like that again.

I found myself growing incredibly annoyed with the way the hallucination was progressing. The speed was decreasing, but the scenery seemed dull, even boring after a while. I could see the street, and the various small shops nestled within the buildings nearby, and the occasional bench or tree, but there was nothing special by itself.

No hordes of shinobi rushing about, or secret-Anbu-Patrols doing rounds, or stuff like that.

It was surprisingly peaceful.

Except for the menace known as Naruto Uzumaki, who apparently stopped running at a certain point, but being myself friction-less, I was reaching without putting in the minimum of efforts.

"Wh-Why are you following me!?" the child announced, quite loudly in the middle of the street. His fists were clenched tightly, and he looked like he had a bad case of 'shakes'.

"I'm not following you," I replied, lifting my chained arm. "You're pulling me along."

Sophism.

Sophistry.

'The art of falling on your feet no matter what hell you might go through' as I personally call it.

I looked around, evidently, the rushing I felt had been either the ambulance -possible- or the fact they were carrying my body on a wheeled table of sorts into a hospital room.

Oh hell.

Could this be one of those so called 'Near Death' experiences that always end with the guy simply remembering 'the light' when he wakes up?

Frankly, I could have done much worse for a hallucination brought forth from cerebral bleeding.

I grimaced. The thought really was one of my worse, but 'better to think hell on Earth and walk through a garden of roses' than think heaven and end up trudging through mud.

"Urgh...It's not coming off!" Naruto exclaimed, his hand moving apparently through the chain tied at his end. "How do you get this off!?"

"Don't ask me," I replied with a lazy shrug. I froze midway. What if the shrug was actually me convulsing? No, no, better to remain calm and avoid movement.

Any kind of movement, really.

"Ah! I know!" Naruto exclaimed suddenly, and began to run once more.

Yes, I knew it was something like this. They brought me into the hospital room first, and now it's off to the operation room. Maybe they'll do a scan or something to find out what the problem is, and then-

A temple.

I looked at the thing propped at the top of quite a lot of stairs, and then at Naruto's heavy wheezing. The funny thing was, there was a tiny whispering part of my head that kept repeating that 'it couldn't be a dream'.

And you know why? Because dreams usually are non-sequitur.

Now, to explain it in layman's terms, say you want to go from point A to point B. In real life, you will walk there, take a car there, fly there, or anything else, really, but you'll have those boring minutes of walking or running where nothing important happens. It's normal, and soon your brain will file them away and forget about them.

In dreams, you don't 'remember' how you go from one point to the other. It's because you simply 'Teleport' from point A to point B, and the in-between isn't important...unless the in-between is actually part of the dream itself.

This was different. I clearly remembered the street and the turns taken. I knew precisely we passed by a shop that sold noodles, and that there was a retail store a few streets further back.

I remembered the road taken.

Then again, hallucinations didn't have to be like dreams. It was my first hallucination anyway; it could be vastly different.

Frankly, if this was the way I died -judging by the ghost-like appearance and everything else- instead of Naruto I could have, I dunno, ended up in some Harem story of sorts. That would have been a good way to go.

I don't know how he managed, but Naruto literally threw himself into the shrine and held his hands over his head, curled in a ball.

I blinked.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked flatly.

"Gah!" he exclaimed. "You're still here!"

"Apparently," I replied. This didn't seem to discourage him. He gripped a bucket near the well of the shrine and threw the water inside at me.

The water passed through my frame and I simply kept looking at him, with my best 'Are you serious?' gaze.

Now, this is something I possess which is shared with every other person I know of that belongs to my particular brand of profession. When a sleep-deprived IT guy stares at you, he stares with the intensity of a man who's been told the other guy 'washed' his computer with water to clean it up. The stare of 'You are a moron to the nine-thousandth degree' is a stare that only those who have seen the deepest pits of stupidity of mankind can ever fathom to possess.

It is the stare.

And it comes natural.

"You're not going away!" Naruto yelled, and pointed his accusing finger at me.

"Apparently," I acquiesced. "Ask the priest for an exorcism?"

"There's no priest!" Naruto yelled again. Was he really that loud of a character? Right, it was in the character description 'Loud, Annoying, Orange-Wearing Shinobi'.

"I see," I said. "You know you're still in your pajama?"

Naruto looked down at his clothes, paled, screamed, and rushed off once more.

I inwardly gurgled a curse to the Gods of Chaos.

Was this my one-in-a-lifetime death experience? Couldn't I have had Hooters, Playboy Girls and S.e.xy Actresses playing the Harem Game?

Were this my last conscious thoughts? A screaming twelve to thirteen year old child?

Damn, my last breath s.u.c.k.e.d.