My Self - Insert Stash

-Found a surprisingly serious To Love Ru fanfic. Yes the ecchi anime~ SI as the President of Sainan High.

Sypnosis: Demi-NEET and jobless, Casey Mortimer is ushered in the craziest dimension ever. Put in a position of absolute power over Sainan High, will he kept a proper decorum or let the crazyness and the l.e.w.dness rule over his judgement? A true battle of wills on the making!

Rated: T

Words: 75K

Posted on: fanfiction.net/s/13222667/1/The-New-Principal (SocialistBukharin)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 0+1

There are times I truly hated Mondays.

Now, I know many would say that I was ripping off Garfield on that regard.. but I genuinely hated that day.

It isn't even comic to me as I am quite the hard-working kind of guy, always trying to keep things to myself and get the job done quickly and efficiently but the disdain for the particular day was something that was related to the mere idea that everyone is expected to get up from the bed after an entire day (Sunday) spent doing literally nothing, resting and watching some TV.

Maybe that is the reason I was literally lacking a real job. Maybe I was kind of a NEET.

But the conundrum that started this little philosophical question isn't something truly regular, average, normal.

Here I am, sitting in front of a small commission made by four alien-like humanoids dressed in formal suits.

How did I know those were the real deal? Let's just say that I don't know any human gun capable of disintegrating an entire plant pot.

I wasn't asking then, blinking at the curious costumes they had and thinking about why they were wearing that.

RIP smol plant, it didn't do anything wrong in its life.

So you all might ask how I, Casey Mortimer, got stuck in that unreal situation and.. I would blame me trying to get a job.

"Mr. Mortimer, you have presented two years ago a CV to find a work for a school's administration. Is that correct?"

My memory was fuzzy regarding that but.. I do remember that it was the first applicance I sought when I left high school.

Also there was something about me having messed up that first appliance, leaving several spaces blank as I thought little of it.

A rookie mistake, one that I am possibly going to regret now with this shenanigans from outer space.

"I understand that you are frightened by this little predicament, Mr. Mortimer, but there is a good explanation. One that we will be more than happy to give to you right now."

"I am sure you are familiar with the place 'Sainan City'." Another said with a british accent.

I blinked and.. nodded partly out of confusion.

It wasn't long that I actually paused and froze, a chill finding his way through my spine.

"No." The four nodded all at once. "Yes."

My hands had to graps my chair mightily for me not to jump at the creepy reply.

"We have studied this dimension for two months and found your application fitting for our needs." He coughed as another continued.

"We are the new board of the Sainan High Academy, elected just three months ago as per advice of Emperor Gid Lucione Deviluke. Our duty is to appoint and/or fire individuals to preserve and improve the quality of the school."

"Your appliance is necessary to.. replace an unpleasant character from the established. He was deemed a menace to most of the students' population."

My mind was going thousand miles per hour as this information sunk in my brain.

To Love-Ru, one of the franchise that kickstarted the idea of having high Ecchi content in Anime, was.. real? Absurd, shocking and... dreadful.

One thing is to have fake characters be put in insane situations, another was knowing that all the crazy things had happened to real people.

What the actual heck!?

But I focused on the pressing matter, the very idea that one of the Sainan High's staff had been fired and I was going to replace him/her.

I was sure that wasn't the Nurse, Mikado being actually the best worker I had seen in the series.

Sure, she would have her 'crazy' moments but those were heavily outclassed by her moderate professionalism.

Tearju? Difficult to say, she was good with teaching and was an expert in the subjects but.. she was quite shy and submissive to some bullies from the school.

Another teacher? Someone who was never shown? Maybe.. but why there was that smug/amused aura around those four exactly?

"It is because we are using a device to listen to your thoughts."

...Crapbasket!

"No need to use foul language, Mr. Mortimer. Your thinking was mostly correct as our offer is not about becoming a teacher."

Well, that was good and all but-

...Noooooo.

"Yes."

Why that? Why? I could be a janitor! I could be anything else and not a- "The role of principal is more than fitting for your attitude, Mr. Mortimer. You scored pretty high in our little test and you have a good knowledge of the issues you might be facing in your mandates."

Test? What test? I would have known if-

"We used something your kind calls... Gacha. It was quite fascinating and difficult to understand... but it worked for our search."

Gacha. They used a lottery to determine my candidacy and I felt quite floored by the fact I was screwed by some bad luck.

I found solace at the mere thought I could merely refuse this all and resume my life in peace-

"That is.. mostly false." I froze and turned at the four, all of them sweating some bullets for some reason. "Since we know how your kind agree to this kind of situation eagerly.. we kind of skipped the required signing and.. added your sign already to the forms."

... "You forged my forms and literally caged me in this.. without my permission."

"Forging is a strong word." One decided to justify, failing horribly as I twitched in silent fury. "We prefer to call it tactical pull. Like the one we are going to 'pull' now."

"Wait, wha-" I blinked as a flash of light blinded me for a mere instant and my b.u.t.t found itself lacking the comfort of the chair.

In layman's terms, I was whisked in some room with bed, wardrobe and shelves with book.. and I fell on my a.s.s.

"What the freak was that?!"

"He will hopefully weather the storm."

Now that the human had been removed, the committee exchanged some last thoughts about their choice.

"He will. Seems the kind of man that hardly fail at this kind of things." The second member added with a positive nod.

"Maybe he will have some trouble adapting with the students. He is quite young." The third commented with some inkling of hesitation.

The boy, Mortimer, was 22 and he was supposed to deal with high school students.

"He could fail, he is afterall a simple human. But he seem to have a good head in his shoulder and I am quite certain he will be a good investment."

"Let us hope that the Emperor will agree with our choice." The final member concluded with a somber, serious tone.

The idea of kicking the perverted principal out of Sainan had been mostly pushed by the fierce Devilukean, to reduce the deviated influence the individual might have had to his heir.

A smart move, some might have said, but also a move that forced them to take some serious actions to avoid getting executed by a disappointed Gid.

Sad was their path but maybe they could manage it?

It was too early to say for sure.

AN

Had been thinking of doing this and I've been trying to get a proper way to do it.

The reason why the Committee was capable of finding 'our' dimension was thanks to one of the machineries available to the Empire.

While Lala seems to be unique in doing impressive devices, I still think that other scientists could have done similar projects and even succeeded to created machines that wouldn't cause mayhem when turned on.

A big stretch and I will say that this will hardly have proper pairings due to the series Harem-system.

Fluff moments? Yes. Lime and lemons? A meek no.

Lots of SoL moments to keep everyone updated on the whole idea of having a functional principal at the craziest school ever.

Chapter 1

The room, or house, was an impressive sight to explore.

The furnitures were pristine and new, the kitchen was furbished and quite large, the living room had a nice-sized TV with several DVDs and some consoles.

My room.. was a good replica of the one I had back home. Maybe a bit bigger to fix better some of the things I had to squeeze together to keep inside.

I was satisfied by this, completely defeating the dreadful question of having a good place where to stay in this new 'world'.

...Gosh, I was in a dimension were girls could beat my a.s.s for a reason or another even though I wouldn't mean any of that.

What a crappy prospect!

I stared at the clock placed on one of the walls of the living room, ringing 17:00 and sending some good news to my poor brain.

Even through it was Monday, it was after the regular schoolday and.. that left me with no pressure in getting ready to go right at Sainan High.

You would wonder why I would go right now at the school and I think I would understand until a certain point the confusion. I was supposed to be the principal, the 'highest' role in the entire high school, and trying to get some 'tutorial' down mid school hours... it wouldn't be a pleasant plan to try and win with.

With a small sigh I adjusted my clothes, a little bit ruffled from the whole dimensional travelling, as I got ready to go for a walk.

The walk was supposed to have a dual meaning, the first being scouting the area.

While I knew generally how things were going in the city, I felt hesitant to truly call it the full truth without having had seen some of that happening.

I know, I was being quite dumb to tiptoe along the fine line between safety and getting beaten, but it would have helped a lot during my little work.

The second reason I was actually doing this was also catching the pattern that would usually befell on my path to school.

I was 100% sure that certain things were going to happen on a daily basis and I would be better prepared if I actually knew what I was going against.

When I stepped out of the entrance door, I was kind of surprised at how close my house was to the school, making it easy on a normal situation to reach my workplace but also halving the chances of getting some proper information on the city.

Ten minutes in the walk and I partly regretted underestimating the sheer, abnormal luck Sainan was infamous for.

Minding my own business when suddenly I heard small footsteps approaching.

At first I didn't give it much of a thought but then I felt someone latching at my leg and that was when I realised I had been put in quite the tough spot.

If I had to estimate from the height of the giggling girl behind me whom was at this moment behind me, I would put a large sum of money on Celine's name.

My suspicions were confirmed when someone started to shout out loud her name in a very desperate tone.

Panic settled in my mind as I turned around to face the little plant-child.. and found her red-faced and with a drunk-like haze plastered in her adorable face.

Oh hell nope!

My hands was quick to detain an handkerchief and forcing it on my mouth and nose as yellow pollen started to be released by her top flower.

Few moments passed and I sighed in relief as seemingly I was left untouched by the troublesome effects of the pollen. "Mau?"

With my free hand I pulled the giggly child close to my c.h.e.s.t as I tried to make way towards where the shouts had started from, trying to limit the damage Celine could have caused in this new chase around town under cola-induced drunkiness.

My eyes blinked in quite the surprise as I noticed from afar the small frame of one Mikan Yuuki.

The young teen was looking quite panicky as she searched without mercy through every possible hideout the child could have taken.

Slowly putting Celine down, I poked at her shoulder and pointed at the brunette. The green-haired child nodded and skipped quickly towards her surrogate aunt. "Mau! Mau!"

I don't know if the girl had turned around and saw me too, nor if Celine actually continue to walk towards the m.a.t.u.r.e girl as I was already gone by then, the main reason for this walk still fresh in my mind.

Yet I felt a shiver going through my spine, as if someone was actually staring intensily at me as I retreated back toward the right streets..

I was happy to find out that the entrance doors at the Sainan High were still open, possibly because like any Japanese school there were still some clubs open and running at this hour.

It was somewhat erie to walk in the school, desolate as it was, but I continued to quietly make my way to the principal's office.

When I opened the door, I was ready to face the worst room for a principal to have, with clear references to p.o.r.n-related things like posters or full-body pillow with some.. questionable characters in them.

Surprisingly enough, I found it actually standard-ish. Several shelves filled with books regarding numerous scientific subjects, panels with... my certifications- WHAT?!

I stared at the panel with my high school certificate, a painful reminder of how I scored quite low in the final tests, because yes I wasted an entire year keeping my grades the highest possible and then got screwed in the last segments because of the system... man, I sound quite edgy now..

I sat by the chair and looked at the desk with a precise eye as I searched for any suspicious material that could get me murdered for no apparent reason.

I opened one of the drawers and- founds lots and lots of magazines. Their content? I think the author couldn't describe them without having to go straight to M-rated.. at least.

With an heavy heart and steeled resolve, I went to the trashcan in the room to deposit permanently the incriminating clues of my predecessor's nature and was about to throw them in.

The reason I actually paused was because the can was... empty.

I blinked as I give a quick look at the desk, noticing the disturbing lack of something that should always be there.

Where was the paperwork?

Dropping the content I had in my hands right in the empty trashcan, I walked back to my workplace and studied it further.

Other drawers lacked any of the forms, doc.u.ments, even blank files weren't there.

Why? Where-!

I froze as I finally opened the lowest to the right drawer and found the doc.u.ments regarding the students.

Picking them up, I browsed through them as I felt the fear I had once hoped to not face actually manifesting fully in that very instance.

The new students, the one that joined Sainan High after Rito had met Lala... had insufficient files.

Most of them lacked medical check-ups, some of the basic datas was missing and some of those even lacking some parental signing.

What truly made my blood freeze in my vein was that among the latter cases were Lala, Momo and Nana... that meant I would have to *sigh* call the Goddang Emperor of the Galaxy for a signature.

... Seems like I had been set to fail!

In that dreadful moment, the door of the office was opened slowly as a familiar nurse entered the room in that very moment.

Mikado Ryouko's eyes fell on my shivering form with a curious expression.

"The new principal?" I merely nodded as a small smile appeared in her beautiful visage as she proceeded to advance and got in one of the two free chairs in front of the desk.

"It's nice to meet you, young man." Pale as heck, I nodded slower than before.

"C-Casey, Casey Mortimer." She hummed my name before letting the previous curious look replace her amused one. "You seem quite nervous, Mortimer-san. Is everything alright?"

Legitimate but quite the unrequited question in that very moment.

"Let's just say... I got a crisis to handle."

She blinked as I neared to her hands some of the files, stopping a brief moment with a serious look. "I am showing you this because I have been told you have a good grasp regarding the students' populace and I need some advice regarding the situation."

A nod from her and I gave her the forms. The nurse's confused eyes soon widened in a barely veiled surprise as she readed the file I had taken as an example for the current predicament.

"To think.. that the issue was that much more than being a pervert, I would have demanded your predecessor's removal years ago.."

"It's useless to think about the past, I have this problem at hand and... I would have to call the Emperor for signing the paper."

The woman flinched at the mere mention of the Devilukean King and I fully well knew why she was like that.

I would be pretty much nervous if I had to deal once again with someone I had tried to remove from his seat of power.

"The reason I voice this concern.. is that I don't have the means to get in contact with him-"

"You should try to get the form to him and then get it back." The nurse replied fiercely. "He will not take politely being 'disturbed' for bureacratic reasons."

I sighed as I stared at the first file of the massive pile I had to fix. "Can his daughters.. ask him to do that?"

"It could work... maybe." She shook her head negatively. "This is quite beyond my 'expertise', Mortimer-san."

"Understood, Mikado-san. Thank you for passing by and giving me some advice on the matter."

She nodded and the nurse didn't waste time to retreat back to the medical room.

'First' day on the job and had to already fix this crazy issue.

Why me?!

AN

It's here and finally we tackle one of the reasons I found the principal one of the worst characters in the series.

It wasn't that I hated him being the pervert of the cast, knowing that this is meant more as a comic relief kind of thing, but I found disturbing his lack of seriousness when accepting students in the school.

And for those who had eyed a particular part yes, someone has noticed the principal's going missing and being replaced.

Review Q&A!

davidglhego05: Maybe! xD

Ritoharemforever: It ain't a harem-stealing kind of fanfic. I literally said in the first chapter that I will generally leave the state of things as they are, that doesn't mean that Mortimer will not spark some fluff (not lime, nor lemon) moment with some characters. And no, no one will show romantic feeling to the OC, he will be stuck with mere warm teacher-student relationsh.i.p.s and (sometime) family-like bonds. The reason Rito didn't appear last chapter was... because most of it happened in a dimension 'close to our own'.