My Self - Insert Stash

-A Rule34 E-Multicross SI. You read it right my dude. QuestionableQuesting fic, make sure you have an account logged in to get access.

*Author took inspiration from Cambrian Beckett (The author of "A Motherf.u.c.k.i.n.g Dragon")

*And yes, it's NSFW. I'll also put the link in the comments to help you guys out. Type the link in word by word if you're not on PC!

Sypnosis: ???

Rated: M

Words: 43K

Posted on: forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/a-guy-and-his-girls-rule-34-economy-multicross-si.11071/#post-3044707 (Emizaquel)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (*´ー｀*)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 0+1

A/N: So I was inspired to write this by Cambrian's post on his Cambrian's One Shot Repository (******* & Commission Pieces) thread, of the Rule 34 economy.

Jace Spicer then convinced me to actually give it a try, so here we are.

This story has no buffer, will be sporadic and probably not well planned, so I apologise in advance for when my muse decides to dop this like a fickle bitch five or so chapters in.

I do have some sort of a plan though. So thank all the multiversal empire SI stories from a few years back for the other bit of inspiration.

"Congratulations on your purchase!"

"What the f.u.c.k are you talking about?" ten different voices filled the air of this strange void that had appeared around us.

I pulled myself to my feet and turned to the figure in front of us, a white two-tailed suit filled with prismatic light, "What the f.u.c.k is going on? Where am I?"

The figure shrugged, "You were given one hundred credits by a sponsor and made these purchases, I'm just the salesperson. Anyways, you are in the Emporium Eternal, no matter what it is, if it exists somewhere in the multiverse, we have it!"

As my attention was brought to the nine other people in the room with me, I immediately fell to hands and knees, "I don't know what's going on but this seems to be my fault and I'm really sorry. I'll fix it as soon as I can!"

"Speaking of which, we have your side options. The control methods are listed here."

I looked at the options, which basically amounted to mind-wiping, mind-control, personality-rewriting, outright torture for them, and possibly outright torture for me.

I turned to the girls, "Look, I'm willing to show you my options here, and I'm willing to take the options that affect me the most, but it looks like the choice that's going to f.u.c.k you over the least is the 'dream date' option. Here, take a look."

I pass the pad to the person in front of me, a woman I recognise as Mercy.

As the women crowd around the pad, the salesman turns to me, "Slick, I suppose, but you do know that that option is incredibly painful, right?"

"I saw the warnings."

"I see… so is that what you are going for?"

"Let them look at the options."

"Yeah, not much of an option."

I turn to the speaker, "I'm really sorry Raven, but I honestly don't have an option here. Actually. Could I ask for a refund?"

"Nope!" the salesman exclaims cheerily, "Your purchase has been finalised by your patron."

"So yes, I literally don't have an option here."

"So, if you pick this option, we get to decide what you look like, and you get a precognitive empathic sense allows you to automatically know how we will react to anything you are about to do."

"Well, the option does specify an idealised version of my body, no some arbitrary body, so I don't think you could change my hair or eye colour too much."

"So apparently, you bought us? But you didn't know about it?"

I search my memories for a bit and scan the women in front of me.

Raven and Starfire both dressed in the style of the teen titans show, Gwen Stacy in her version of the spider suit, Mercy and Tracer from Overwatch, Hinata from Naruto, Yang from RWBY, Ahri from League of Legends and Elizabeth from Bioshock. Something about that combination reminded me of something.

"That bloody picture."

"What?"

"So let's just get it out of the way, since he mentioned that this place stocks stuff from across the multiverse and I assume that none of you recognises everyone else despite several o you being incredibly famous where you are from, I should probably mention that you are fictional in my universe."

They nodded warily, and Gwen spoke up, "So I'm guessing this is the sort of thing where everything you can imagine exists somewhere and that sort of deal?"

I nod, "We can try and get more details out of the salesperson here, but where I come from, we don't know this and you are all fictional."

"Yeah, get on with it!" yelled Yang.

I nod, "Well, there was this meme on a forum, you are given a hundred bucks and there are something like 21 women with various prices and you pick out who you want the most, and well, I picked you."

"And then what?"

"Well, I posted it on the forum, we were discussing the pros and cons of various people's choices and I went to sleep. Then I woke up here."

Raven paused, "You aren't lying."

"I have no f.u.c.k.i.n.g clue how it went from me posting on a completely normal forum to us being here Raven."

"So if we are fictional, does that mean you know what happened to my mum?"

I paused, "You have two arms, so I guess you wouldn't have learned that yet. Both Qrow and your mom, who I will refer to as such because her name is also Raven and I respect the Raven standing here a lot more than I respect her, are from a bandit clan. She decided to leave you and go back there where she now leads Grimm into isolated villages and mops up after them to secure the loot. I'm sorry you had to learn this way."

Yang sort of stumbled back, before turning to Raven, "You're lying!"

"He's telling the truth." Raven said, "I guess I should be sorry too?"

Mercy nodded, "The appropriate emotion is sympathy, that you understand her pain."

Tracer turned to me, "So what was the goal of this? You wanted us all for a harem or something."

I scratch the back of my head sheepishly, "Well, not exactly? At some point, the challenge went from 'pick your harem' to 'how do you best leverage this situation' when someone mentioned that Elizabeth here has the ability to open interdimensional portals."

Everyone turned to Elizabeth, "You can get us home?"

Elizabeth shrugged, "I can make portals, but I don't know if I can reach your homes. I've only ever seen different versions of my world."

"I don't know if we can reach your homeworlds, actually, I don't know where we will be dropped off. I hope it isn't going to be my flat."

"I am afraid you will be dropped off where you came from."

"Well f.u.c.k."

"Look can you get this over with? I need to get to the others at some point."

I shrugged and turned to the girls, "So what do you think?"

Mercy paused, "Well since this will turn you into perhaps the best partner any of us could ask for, can you tell us who you are actually interested in so that we can get through the options quicker?"

I shrugged, "Well, I think you are all pretty hot, but I'm not into Starfire - actually should I call you Kori'andr? - and Tracer at all."

"You don't fancy me?"

"You can't be into me, so that's a turn-off. I'm all about respecting people's s.e.x.u.a.lities and I don't want to get between you and your girlfriend. Speaking of which, Hinata, I know that you love Naruto and I'm not getting in between the two of you. I'll even help you out if you want. Elizabeth, I don't know enough about you so I can't say too much. Ahri, you are in the same boat, sorry. But, just to check, what's a smartphone?."

Everyone backed away from Ahri, who pouted, "A smartphone is a thing you call people with and use apps and stuff."

"Okay, so you are part of K/DA then, Still don't know how that links to the version of you that went on a rampage and consumed the souls of thousands of people."

Ahrijumped into the air, "WHAT!"

"Any other surprises for us?"

"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!"

I turn to Raven who nodded, "Okay, so I know next to nothing about you then."

"Any other bombshells?"

I turn to Gwen, "I'm assuming you've already met Miles and all?"

"Yep?"

"I guess I can say that spider-'men' far outnumber spider women and well, from what I know, Miles's hero is essentially the archetype."

Gwen nodded, "I was sort of expecting that after Noir and the others."

"There's also the people hunting down spider Totems, but that's something to worry about later."

Tracer perked up, "Do me next!"

"I'm assuming that Mondatta is?"

"Who?"

I froze, "Mondatta isn't dead."

"No, does he die?"

"You try and stop Widowmaker from killing him but she outsmarts you."

"Well, we can stop that then."

Mercy spoke up, "Well, we can discuss this later. Now, what was your name again?"

"Jon, I'm terribly sorry for not introducing myself earlier."

"Okay, well Jon, what you say trims us down to myself, Raven, Gwen and Yang, at least for the moment."

We turned to Yang, who was, at this point just sort of slumped on the ground next to Hinata.

Yang turned to the other three, "Just make him hot, I need to think about things.

"All set then?"

I turned to the salesman, "Yeah, The dream date package."

As he handed over the selections for the girls to pick over, Yang and Ahri pulled me aside to quiz me more on what I had told them before.

And then, all of a sudden, a burning pain spread through my bones and I saw my flesh split in front of my eyes.

A/N: This has not been beta'ed, but anyone who wants to make sure my work is somewhat grammatically correct can PM me and I'll let them in on the google doc of what I'm working on.

Chapter 1

I came too on the small bed in a crowded apartment as the nine women tried to find places to sit.

Gingerly pulling myself up, I turned to them, "Want any drinks?"

"Jon you shouldn't be moving!" I turned to Mercy, who had her staff trained on me.

I hold up a hand, "I'm fine though."

"The ordeal must have been exhausting, you were screaming for quite a while. Raven had to leave for quite a while until you calmed down." opined MErcy

"No, I'm fine, actually. Just a bit sticky." I raise my hand and pick at it, dried blood peeling off my skin.

I looked at the mattress and g.r.o.a.n.e.d, "Damnit!"

She laughed, "You noticed?"

The bed was covered in blood, a massive bio-hazard if I had ever seen one.

"How was this much blood even inside of me?" I asked

Mercy shrugged, "You bled enough blood to fill an entire a.d.u.l.t man. But I suppose you gained mass from elsewhere for the rest of your body, so I suppose that they could do this as well."

I pushed myself up and ambled over to the mirror, "Speaking of which, let's see what you have done to me."

What greeted me was still visibly me, but changed in subtle ways. I was a bit taller, bringing me up to even two hundred centimeters.

My fat had been stripped away entirely, revealing more muscle than I ever had in my life. Still, it was the compact and practical muscle rather than the show-muscles of a bodybuilder.

My dark hair was now thicker and longer, naturally falling back into a quiff and my beard was trimmed back to to a thin chin-strap that faded from barely opaque at my newly chiseled jawline to clear skin in b.a.r.e centimeters.

Well, not clear skin. I could see the beginnings of stubble all across my face.

And my eyes. Apparently, the process included free LASIK, since I didn't need my glasses any more.

I considered my options and turned to the women and posed, "Like your handiwork?"

A few women cat-called, but Mercy just blushed, "I'd like it better if it wasn't covered in blood. Go clean up!"

As I pick through my closet, I frown, "I'm going to have to stop by the garment district. None of these will fit me."

The women paused, "We hadn't thought about that."

I scrounge through the drawers and eventually pick out a shirt and a pair of tracksuit pants, "At least it's the weekend, I can get away with this for long enough to buy some cloth and put together a few pieces."

Hinata turned to me, "So… you are a tailor?"

"Nah, just a hobby." I shrugged, "I'm a developer professionally, but I like to learn new skills and sometimes, what I learn is decent enough that I keep it up. I never really liked fast fashion, especially when it barely takes me an hour to knock out a perfectly tailored shirt or two hours to knock out a pair of pants."

"Um… Developer?"

I pause, "I guess you wouldn't have encountered those in your world."

I wave over to my computer where Yang was watching RWBY, "That's a computer, it's a machine that can do a lot of math and show the results as pictures, text and numbers."

Hinata nodded, "Um is it like the screens at the Chunin exams?"

"Yep, developers like me use a language to tell the programs what math to do in order to do all sorts of things, like sending video across the world or making shops that exist in computers."

"That sounds nice…"

"How about this, once Yang is done catching up with her life and future, I'll show you what we can do on computers."

Hinata nodded, "That sounds nice."

After I came out of the shower, I saw everyone posted up around the room, doing various things.

"So, we need to figure out a plan. My flat isn't going to be enough for all of us."

Elizabeth raised her hand, "Um I can try and open those portals we talked about."

I nodded, "I guess the first thing to do would be to see if you can… open up a portal to an alternate of this world, preferably one where people don't exist." my voice wavered as my first line of thought gave me a bad feeling and I quickly switched tracks.

Elizabeth seemed oddly relieved, "Here then?"

I nodded and helped move a table out of the way so that the area was relatively clear.

In moments, a large gate opened up in the room. Beyond us was a sprawling view of forests that stretched out as far s the eye could see.

And then it slammed shut.

"So you can open portals here," Mercy noted, "I suppose the question then becomes if you can open a portal to our worlds."

I nod, "Whose world do you want to try Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth paused, "How would I know which worlds they are?"

We all considered the conundrum, and eventually, Gwen spoke up, "How do you open the portals exactly?"

"How do I say this… I sort of… reach out and I feel all these worlds and sometimes I get little flashes of what's there. And I then I can grab the picture I see and pull it to make a gate."

Raven turned to Elizabeth, "So if we asked you to make another portal back to that forest world?"

"I can recognize the feeling of the world, so I could open the portal pretty easily." Elizabeth confirmed.

Gwen thought for a moment, "Do you know the feeling of your world?"

"Umm…"

I put a hand on her shoulder, "If you don't want to go back, we don't have to."

Elizabeth sat down, "Just not now. I don't want to go back to that room."

Tracer nodded in understanding, before perking up, "Key do you think this will help?" she said pointing at her chronal accelerator.

I look at Elizabeth who shrugged, closed her eyes and poked at it, "I feel something…"

And then she groped Tracer.

Tracer grabbed the offending hand and pulled it away, "Getting a little fresh there Luv?"

"What? No, I felt something!"

"You can probably sense quantum signatures then, we still have the quantum signatures of our universes, so you might be able to match up those signatures with our worlds. Well, if you can find them at least." Commented Gwen.

"Mercy and Tracer's world is probably the safest to try that with, then," I comment."Yang's world has two gods that may or may not be active, Hinata's world has a clan of dimensionally-travelling genocidal farmers, the world that Raven and Starfire and Raven come from is regularly destroyed and re-created, Gwen's might not be doing that, but it might be arguably worse, what with Galactus, the Celestials and the Infinity Gems all in play, Elizabeth doesn't want to go home and we don't know enough about the specifics of Ahri's world to say that the organizers of the League of Legends who are known to deal with dimensional shenanigans aren't involved"

"We really need an accounting of all of our situations before we make any real decisions." remarked Gwen

I grab my computer, "Here, I'll pull up the wikis for your settings so that you can explore. It's getting late and I need to buy some food and clothes for my new body."

Getting cloth was relatively easy, though I was forced to buy a few cheap shirts that I could wear for the next couple of days.

As I returned, I saw Raven's blue cloak hung up on my coat-rack.

"Hey, I'm home!" I announced

I dropped off the groceries on the counter as I walked across the flat. The girls were all crowed around the computer, and after putting away the shirts, I headed over to them.

And over their shoulders, I saw it.

The bloody picture.

I sighed, "Well, I can see that you found the thing."

"We don't look anything like this!" they complained.

"Fan art does that a lot. It makes it pretty hard to judge what age you were supposed to be" I shrug, "Plus a lot of those are depicting you when you are older."

"Why am I wearing a white cloak in this?" Raven questioned.

I shrug, "Well, that's after you sent dear old dad packing."

Raven sat there stunned as we discussed the appearance of each of the girls on the image.

A/N:

Did you know that there's a new version of the economy?

Spoiler: Rule 34 Economy v2

What are your choices?

A quick scan (and boy are there a lot more women) gives me this:

Jolyne, Zatanna, Sombra, Symmetra, Storm, Android 18, Jasmine