My Vulnerary Husband- Our Journey Towards Love

|Innaya|

"I need a break, Innaya. I really do."

Eshan's tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.

It had been three hours since he locked himself in his study. I did not disturb him, hoping to give him some space, and some time. I also needed some alone time for the disturbing memory that had reemerged. I needed to settle down its aftereffect. So, I had busied myself in tidying our room, leaving Eshan alone to deal with his problems. Thinking about the decision of giving him alone time did not seem right as I looked at him.

His eyes told the tales of his countless sleepless nights and countless suffering days. Even though we had talked, cleared out some stuff, told each other than we needed each other to live, things were not as they were earlier, between us.

There was still an invisible barrier between us. There was still an unseen distance between us. There was still an unspoken line between us - the line that did not let us come closer the way we were earlier.

We had not really come physically too closer to each other, but our emotional intimacy was of some another level and that - was missing now.

It hurt. That very realization hurt, and I knew it was equally hurting Eshan.

I watched him walking towards me when I failed to verbally respond to him.

As he stood in front of me, I lost the sense of our surroundings. At that moment, all I knew was- he needed me. He needed us. Earlier us. I did not know if he knew it or not, but I needed it as desperately as he did.

"It has been the longest and hardest two months of my life. I have been very harsh on myself, and I have no shame in admitting it, for I still believe I deserved it. I know you have an idea of what happened between Sahil and me. I know he has blamed you earlier also. It's... it's getting beyond my control now. I need a break, Innaya. From all of this. I need a break where we can just be we the way we were as if that unfortunate incident never happened in our life. I know forgetting is impossible, but for a short time, for a really short time, can I have you as - my Innaya?"

My eyes poured into his, for I don't know how long as I heard his earnest confession, and turned slightly teary. I could deny that Eshan knew exactly how to stir my emotions with simple words. Words that came directly from his heart. My guess was right, Sahil had said something that had hurt him. Though Eshan tried to forget it, it did not look like he succeeded in it.

"Innaya."

His voice pulled me out of my trance. I blinked, grasping the situation. My head bent down a bit, and I smiled a little. I intertwined my fingers with his as I nodded my head. The moment I did that, I was in an affectionate hug of Eshan. His gentle hold.

We were back.

We were back.

My happiness had no bounds. I had no idea how long we could go like that, but it was not the time to think about it. It was time to savor. I was not going to repeat my mistakes. I was not going to waste my time thinking and getting sad about the time when the break would end.

I snuggled closer to him, forgetting the world.

Having the man I started falling for, and the man who loved me with all his heart, that close had me smiling contentedly. Such a beautiful feeling it was! I could never put it in words. Never.

I was still a novice in love. I had never felt the feelings I felt with Eshan, and that was when I realized, all those romantic novels and cheesy movies were too far-fetched. One could never know until feeling those feelings that leave those butterflies in your stomach, making you smile unreasonably and foolishly.

Being in love was a beautiful feeling and especially when the one you love was someone like Eshan. He was literally like a dream man who was not supposed to exist in reality. He was the kind of a man one could see in either fairy tales or dreams.

I felt his attempt of breaking the hug, but I did not allow him to do that rather I held on to him more firmly.

I did not want to let him go.

I did not. It had been so long that he held with such tenderness. It had been so long that he had said his true feelings without any hesitation. I did not want to end this beautiful moment with him.

"Stay. Please," I mumbled, letting him hold my entire weight as I leaned on him.

He did not say anything, but I knew he was smiling. I knew he was.

<***>

"I know you do not believe me, but I just want to say it - again," I slipped my right hand, and circled it around his right arm as we sat on the floor, resting against the wall, "I'm falling for you, Eshan." I felt it was necessary to let him know about my feelings, again. Last time he did not believe me. Maybe, he would not believe this time either. However, I did not matter. We had an entire life ahead of us, I would make him believe me one day.

"Let me feel if you do," he murmured, straightening his neck as I let my head slip on his shoulder. 

I could only smile. He did not attempt to deny my feelings for him. He did not attempt to tell me that it was not- love. I could only smile. 

"Now that we are on a break, I can complain. Why did not you eat well? Look at you. Did you not for once think about me? Did you not, for once, think how much would it hurt me to see you this way?" I ranted. My tone turning into an angry wife's complaining tone.

"Sorry."

The moment I tilted my head a bit to see him holding his ear by his hand, mumbling a cute apology to me - I realized that this break was for real. It confirmed it. He confirmed it.

I effortlessly got myself out of his hold, rising on my feet, and he darted his surprised gaze at me.

"I will be back very soon. Please wait for me."

My happy eyes blinked at him, but it only added on to his confusion.

"Where are you going?"

"I will be back soon," I replied from the door as I was already on my way out.

<***>

By the time I returned, Eshan had shifted to the bed from the floor. His head was resting against the headboard of the bed with his closed eyes.

He was really tired.

Physically.

As well as emotionally.

Why did I have to do it to him? He clearly did not deserve it. 'Ah! Stop it, Innaya.' I scolded myself for going into that thought process again. The break was going to begin my redemption.

I was going to do everything possible to make his every moment worthy enough to cherish. I was going to compensate for the time we had missed.

The thing in my hand was just the beginning of it.