Nikita

I don't know what I'd do if I lost Natalya too. I try not to think about that, but it all goes away and turns into something else when I see what the house is turned into. I know I got up in a hurry a few hours ago because of the call from Maggie, but I doubt if this is how I left the place.

It looks like a hell hole.

Everything is trashed like it was done intentionally. So they actually got here, they actually reached my home. I wonder what they were looking for or even what could have been so vital that they needed.

I think about the possibilities, only to realize I haven't paid much attention to this state, so I wouldn't even be able to know what's missing and what's not. Again, I'm screwed. How am I supposed to deal with this right now?

The shock disappears the moment I remember Natalya, the woman who's been serving in the estate long before I was born. I wonder if she's okay or if she's kidnapped.

Unsure whether the people who did this are still around, I walk around swiftly, praying and hoping to God that Natalya is okay.

She can't be a victim either.

I can't lose her this time too.

I can't.

So much has already happened, and other than Ren's parents, she is the only thing close enough to family to me. Carefully I make my steps into the lounge room as it is the closest to the door. I need to check the ground floor before I go on to the other floors.

I feel like this is my karma, but for what? I'm not sure just yet.

Maybe it's my karma for not tagging along on the plane ride that day. I'm getting lost in my thoughts again, and that is unhealthy, so softly, I shake my head vigorously in an attempt to shake off the thoughts, because frankly, I can't afford that right now.

I need to be able to focus on one thing at a time, like the surgeon I am. I know that's a far fetch, but no one said not to try, right? Finally, I make my way to the kitchen, the one room that has the potential weapons.

The estate is quiet like there is no life here, but I know better.

I'm supposed to be part of the lives in this place, but my brain can't even comprehend what happened at the hospital a few hours ago. I want to pretend that none of that happened, but how do I pretend when it triggered some of the worst memories? It hurts to be in this estate, and while there is nothing much I can do about it, I just hope that it will get better soon, even though I don't know when that is supposed to be. But I think I'll wait and see, after all, what could be more wrong than losing my whale family in one day?

I ring the bell, but I don't see or even hear Natalya coming to open the door for me. I decide to use the key I always keep with me even when I sleep and open the door. I push the door open gently, knowing there's a chance that the people who sent that man may have reached my home.

I may be good with knives, but I'm mentally exhausted, so I could get hurt if I don't think clearly. I hate everything today. I should have just slept the day away because then I wouldn't have to know what was happening.

I should have ignored Maggie's call and even the ambulance that had shown up. It's too late for me to regret, I know, but maybe if I tell myself so, then I will be able to get myself into the kitchen.

The door is locked, which means that they didn't get in here or that they could be in there waiting for me to go in. So I stick to the wall, tend when it triggered some of the worst memories? It hurts to be in this estate, and while there is nothing much I can do about it, I just hope that it will get better soon, even though I don't know when that is supposed to be. But I think I'll waicareful so that I don't trigger any alarms.

My paranoia during the mourning period got me attaching alarms all over, and I know if I trigger one, then everyone would be alerted, and it would be a failed mission. I keep hoping that Natalya is okay.

She has to be.

With my head to the kitchen walls, I listen. It's getting colder here, but I'm thankful for Raisa's pajamas. At least they keep me warm. Then I hear laughter and pause. Why would there be laughter when the house looks like shit?

Why would someone be in here unless they are being forced to, but why would anyone even want that. God, my head hurts, but that's the least of my concerns. "Natalya..." I barge in after giving it no tend when it triggered some of the worst memories? It hurts to be in this estate, and while there is nothing much I can do about it, I just hope that it will get better soon, even though I don't know when that is supposed to be. But I think I'll waithought. I know I could be running into a trap, but who cares, right? I have already lost everything, and I can't lose her too. But when I get in, I see the woman I thought was held captive, with a younger woman, the one who had been in my bed a few days ago.

Why does it seem like an eternity, though? I'm not sure how this conversation should begin; one thing is certain, Natalya is okay, thank the heavens. This leads me to my next question, the state of the house.

"You're... you're okay," I say to the old woman who looks at me like I finally lost it. Usually, she would walk in my direction and try to snap me out of the madness ad chaos in my head, but today, today, she's just standing there.

Watching me amusedly like this is something to be happy about. I'm not sure how I feel about her look, but I try, again, not to think about it. If this is another trap, I need to think carefully. I need to have a plan, even in my worn-out state.

Maybe I'm dying too.

Maybe the pain has finally caught up, and my senses are failing.

Maybe this is the life I will have to live, but why me?

When does all of this end?

"Hello Master Pavlenko"