Office Diaries

"Do not close the book, huh?"

Yanee felt the familiar cynical reaction within her bubble up but didn't outright reject what Chummy said. She was aware; she knew. It's not good to generalize. Still…

"Chummy?" She softly called out her friend's name.

The other lady still hugged her from behind the chair. "Yeah?"

"I know that I have only been hurt by one person. It's very illogical for me to be jaded after just one bad experience," Yanee began.

She knew that for some people, her dislike for romance was an overreaction. It's not like she was the same as other women who had been hurt over and over again. No. Aside from that one relationship, she never had any other. It's why even she couldn't understand her own aversion – why it was so strong.

Sometimes even she, herself, thought that she was being petty. But if she was going to be honest with herself, she had always known the answer. She was scared. She didn't want to feel that numbing pain again.

"But you know what? What that one person did hurt a lot and I can't forget. It took a while for me to be okay again. Is it very unreasonable of me not to want to have anything to do with something that hurt me before?"

After saying something that she had kept hidden for so long, Yanee felt a bit disgusted – vulnerable and n.a.k.e.d even in front of her closest friend. She had never told this to anyone before because she believed that what happened to her was nothing so special. People got hurt. People got scammed. She was overreacting.

"Yanee, do you know I'm scared silly of dentists and doctors?" Chummy suddenly asked as she walked around the chair to sit on the one opposite her.

It was so out of the blue and she was grinning like a fool that Yanee was not sure if she was seriously asking her that question or not. The vulnerability she felt earlier vanished as she cleared her throat to answer.

"Yes."

Chummy had a master's degree in skipping appointments with dentists and doctors. She was truly terrified of them. If she was really in need of treatment, she had to be sedated else she'd go into panic. But why was she asking something that they both already knew?

"Do you know why?" Chummy prompted and Yanee inclined her head.

"Er… You saw your grandma being intubated at her hospital room," she answered as she looked at Chummy's face which went a bit pale. When Chummy was young, her grandmother got sick and was hospitalized. In the private rooms, the family could freely stay there with the patient. When the young Chummy visited, it was, unfortunately, the time when her grandmother decided to surrender her battle with her illness.

The old lady's vitals crashed and everyone went into a panic as they called the doctors. Chummy unfortunately saw how they tried to revive the old lady and intubated her even but she still died in the end. The image of her poor grandma's fragile body flailing in the midst of people in white coats was engraved in her mind.

"That's right," Chummy commented with a nod. "But you know, I'm aware that it's not the doctor's fault my grandma died. She's very sick and old. Still, I'm crazy scared of them."

Yanee leaned forward so she could pat Chummy's knee. "That's fine. You were young and you saw something horrifying. It's normal to be traumatized."

Chummy grinned as she squinted at Yanee.

"What?"

"I throw that back at you, friend." Chummy pointed at her. "Don't feel bad for being scared of something. Even if it's just that one time, it's a fact that it left a big impression on you. I'm not telling you to glorify your pain, but I don't want you to debase it either. In short, you don't have to feel guilty about feeling like you do. When you get hurt, it takes great courage to try again. It's normal to be reluctant."

Silence hung between them for a while before Yanee let out a smile. "Thanks, BFF," she murmured.

"Why are you thanking me? I'm not yet done, you know?" The way Chummy said sounded as if she was teasing her, but her eyes told Yanee otherwise.

Eh? She's seriously not yet done?

"What is it then?" Yanee asked curiously.

"Do you know the best way to cure trauma is to face your fear and jump ahead?" Chummy asked, her eyes glinting in mischief.

"What are you talking about?" Yanee had a bad feeling about this.

"I mean why don't you go out and start dating again?" Chummy suddenly suggested that Yanee choked on her saliva and coughed.

Chummy patted her back.

"Cynthia Tan, I just talked to you about trauma – what the hell are you suggesting?" Yanee was annoyed. "If it's like that then why don't you go and meet up with a doctor as well, huh? Huh?" she challenged.

Instead of looking frightened as she usually did, Chummy's eyes danced with further mischief as she grinned. "I already did," she announced.

EH?

"Seriously?"

"SE.RIOUS.LY," Chummy answered as she playfully snapped her finger. "I saw and still seeing a doctor – though I prefer to see him without clothes and his white coat on these days."

Huh?

Yanee could hear the strong wind in the dessert go WHOOOOSH inside her brain as she stared blankly at the still grinning Chummy. Her words were filled with too much s.e.x.u.a.l innuendo for her not to guess what's going on.

"Chummy – you traitor!  Since when did you start dating the doctor?" Yanee asked as she jumped on Chummy and started pinching her cheeks. "What's with this BFF crap you're spouting. How dare you get a boyfriend behind my back?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Chummy laughed as she tried to fend Yanee off. "Stop pinching. Get a boyfriend too so we're even."

"You still dare suggest that?" Yanee countered as she gave her another round of pinches while Chummy continued to fend her off while laughing.

"Er… What are you guys doing?" Tohru James suddenly asked as he stepped into the office. His brown gaze filled with amus.e.m.e.nt as he looked at the girls scrambling on the desk.

Chummy visibly brightened upon seeing their boss and she quickly ran over and hid behind him. "Boss, save me! Yanee's angry because I got a boyfriend."

"I'm not!" Yanee, of course, would deny it. She's really not angry anyway. She's even happy for her. She was just… surprised.

" Yes, you are. Look at that face boss. Her lips are pouting too much. She's not happy," Chummy insisted comically earning her another glare from Yanee.

"Ya! Cynthia Tan, this is my natural lips!" Angelina Jolie lips, okay?

Tohru James, on the other hand, looked thoughtful as he studied Yanee's face.

Huh? What is this potato doing?

Yanee watched in awe as their boss walked over to her suddenly. He went too close – much too close that she had to lean back against Chummy's table as he leaned over to her.

Er… Yanee's brain almost went haywire at their awkward position. They were posed like the dancing couple at the end of tango without holding each other. If Yanee tilted her head a bit he would have a good view of her throat.

With Chummy cheering-squealing at the background, Tohru James stared intently at her lips before smiling.

"You're right. It's like Angelina Jolie's," he commented before standing up properly.

Yanee was so shocked she almost landed on the table when her hand slipped, but Tohru, like a knight in shining armor effortlessly caught her and helped her to stand up.

"Er… thanks."

WAIT? Why was she thanking him? Wasn't it his fault that she had to lean far back like that in the first place?

"Boss, you really look good standing together. Why don't the two of you just go out and date so Yanee won't be angry at me anymore for getting a boyfriend?" Chummy suddenly suggested and Yanee almost screamed her frustration.

Why was this happening again? Chummy the traitor was asking to be strangled to death.

"Sure," Tohru readily agreed, but Yanee waved her hand at him.

"No, thanks, boss."

"Why not?" Tohru and Chummy chorused.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Tohru asked, and Yanee shook her head.

"Do you like someone?" Tohru asked with a pout.

Yanee was taken aback because as soon as he asked that, the image in her mind that appeared was Tohru's face at the hotel when he picked her up for the party to meet the clients. It was the time when they wore a matching outfit he called uniform.

She was going to shake her head vigorously but decided it would be a total lie so she changed tactics not thinking it would backfire.

"I like everyone. I like Chummy. I like my sister. I like my sister's dog. I like you, boss, I like m–" she elaborated, her voice sounded condescending but she was cut off by the suddenly very happy potato.

"Oh, you like me? That's good."

What? This deaf potato! Wasn't he listening?

Yanee was going to remind him that he was not the only one she stated she liked but didn't get the chance.

"Ms. Lee, I like you too."