Pain

"He likes you....." I hear the words fall out of Kaitsu mouth and into the phone to my ear. Exactly what I don't want to hear.

"But he likes Sadako. He literally just asked her out." I say to Kiatsu through the phone.

"Yeah sure." My hands get twitchy and my heart feels like it stopped beating. I feel like I want to throw up and never talk to him again. Kaitsu could be wrong....but no he can't.....he never is since I've known him...he's always been right...since I met him...so do I trust his judgement....Yes.....but I'm here thinking he's wrong...He may be always right but not this time.....Maybe it's all a miss understanding.

"I don't like him...." I get myself to say. I see kai tapping his foot. I focus on the beat of his foot. Tap. Tap. Tap Tap. Tap . I try to let it distract me but it does work.

"Well you better tell him that!" Kaitsu. If it was that easy I would.

"But-"

"No Buts you have to!" He yells. "No way am I having a cousin that leads a guy on! At least he told you! You don't get it!1 Do you know what it's like?! To like a girl who doesn't love you!!"

"Yes!!!" I yell. I feel my anger and sadness start to bubble up. I did like a guy.....But since then I didn't like anyone....I locked up those feelings along my heart....and that secret I will carry it to my grave....but in reality I'm just looking for someone that has the power to open the lock....

"I-I'm sorry I didn't know....." He stutters out once he notices he's in the wrong

"Yeah well there's a lot you don't know....." I start but then this feeling hits me that I don't want to make him feel bad. "It's fine..." I try to calm myself down by looking at the clock as it ticks in a beat. I look down and hear the tapping of Kai's foot. I try to match the beat. Tap. Tap. Tap Tap. Tap. I want to come up with a painting that shows how I feel right now. To capture this moment. I close my eyes and I'm in my art studio down the hallway. I wish I could just drift away now but then Kiatsu's voice brings me back to reality.

"Ok.." He says after that pause.

"Bftf....." I start.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared" I stutter out.

"Of?"

"Losing one of my friends over this.....Tusaku.....I can't lose him...." Sakura gives me this look like she gets me. I wish she did. She was never close to Tusaku like me. And Kai the one guy she is close to likes her and she likes him. She just can't tell he feels the same way. So yeah....I hope she never feels this way....I hope no one ever does.....I think it's sweet she's trying understand....but she can't...and I'm glad she can't....I don't want her to experience this....It is impossible for me to process this....I dont want her to go through this....and I don't ever want her too....

"If he really was a great and good friend he wouldn't let this get in between you two." He says.

"You're right...." I know he is but deep down I hope this is just a huge miss understanding. Maybe I should talk to Tusaku. Maybe I should pretend like nothing's happened. I may not know what to do but I have to do something. So....what am I going to do now?