Project: Socialize

[Loriana's Perspective]

I gradually stirred in the middle of the night to an eerie silence in my house. I looked to my bedside table and at the digital clock to see that the time was currently 3:05 A.M. The silence was to be expected at this hour of the night, but waking up at midnight was still quite disturbing to a twenty-six year old me. The darkness and silence seemed to envelope my existence, making me feel quite alone.

My throat felt dry, so I decided that I would head to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. I slowly sat up in my bed, allowing the bed cover to fall off my chest and onto my lap. Looking down, even though I wasn't able to see clearly in the darkness, I knew that I was wearing a pretty see-through black-lace nightgown that only covered the important parts of my breasts. Slowly, I got up from my bed and walked over to the door of my room, yawning as I did so. My vision was still somewhat blurry from drowsiness, but I could still see where everything was without my contacts or glasses. I actually dislike wearing glasses. They're quite uncomfortable to me and I only wear them when it's absolutely necessary.

I stepped foot in the dark and eerie hallway outside of my bedroom, feeling once again that uneasy feeling of being alone in the night. Usually, I would find solace in the fact that in the bedroom opposite of mine in the hallway, my nephew would be sleeping peacefully. I haven't entered his room ever since that day I had welcomed him into this house and showed him to his room. He was about twelve back then, and since his seventeenth birthday is coming up soon, then that makes it about five years since I've set foot in his room.

Tonight, my nephew isn't in his room. In fact, he's probably not home yet since he was attending an after-party thrown by his schoolmates for the success they had in their School Festival. When he had asked me for permission, I was more than willing to allow him to stay out and have fun. He's not the most social person, with the only person that I believe he could normally interact with being me. That was an issue that his teacher who was also my new neighbor, Mura, had notified me of during a parent-teacher conference. Because of his problems socializing, I was overjoyed when I discovered that recently, he has been participating in more and more events. However, I was also somewhat sad by this fact since that meant that the time he will spend with me will be decreased. Currently, the effect of his increased participation hasn't been felt yet due to the fact that I'm constantly working overtime at my university in a secret research funded by the Vilheimian government. Once the project is completed though, I believe I might get lonely.

I've always been quite afraid to be alone since my childhood, but due to the fact that I wasn't the best at socializing as well, I don't have many friends that I could dispel that loneliness with. Therefore, when my mother remarried my step-father when I was five and I was introduced to my step-brother, I was actually secretly excited, knowing that as a former only-child, I'll have someone whom I could talk with.

My step-brother was older than me by about eleven years. However, that large gap between us never prevented him from being there by my side. Rather, it was because of that difference in maturity was he able to help me in my desperate times. He was always there when I was lonely despite the fact that in the later years he had moved out and was residing in his college dorms, he would always come visit me whenever he had the chance, sometimes even bringing his girlfriend who was a year younger than him home.

My step-brother would go on and marry that girl he had brought home once they graduated high school. That girl was quite pretty in my standards and was a perfect fit with my step-brother. I initially despised her because she took away the love my step-brother had for me, but I gradually ended up accepting her. That girl was the mother of my nephew.

The two gave birth to my nephew when my step-brother was twenty. They had started their first years in college, but it seemed as if an accident had led to my sister-in-laws pregnancy. However, the two decided to keep the child and continued on with their education. I was impressed by how well my sister-in-law had recovered from the pregnancy and went on to acquire a degree in business management. When the two both graduated college, they both were offered high-paying jobs due to their elite status in both grades and experiences.

Their family was quite ideal. They loved their child greatly and their relationship was quite peaceful with only the rare arguments. However, even when they would argue, they would make up after a few hours. Therefore, it was shocking to me when I found out that my dear step-brother had committed suicide after he discovered that the woman he loved for so many years was cheating on him while he was away at work.

My step-brother's death led to me holding a great disdain for my former sister-in-law, but to protect the innocent child they had left behind, I decided to lie to him by saying both his parents had died in an accident. I didn't want that young child of only twelve to be faced with the fact that his father had committed suicide and his mother ran off with another man. However, when I stared into those sorrowful eyes that had forced the child to mature greatly in a short span of time, I felt as if he had known the truth since the start.

He was devastated by the death of his father, but he was extremely calm during the funeral. He exhibited a deadly silence during the ceremony and didn't shed a single tear. Other relatives talked behind his back, saying things about him being mentally retarded or suffering from mental issues. However, I knew they were wrong just by looking at that lonely figure. He wasn't suffering from any mental or intellectual issues. Rather, he was quite determined. The reason why he wasn't able to cry was probably he had wept for so long before the funeral that the tears had dried up within him.

I decided that I will take him in and raise him until adulthood. That decision wasn't opposed by any of the other relatives present since none of them had intended to help him from the start. Their faces were twisted by that fake look of sorrow as they watched the boy, and I was certain that he knew what they were thinking as well. The only source of opposition that I received was from my then boyfriend whom I had learned to love. However, his refusal to help the boy led to a great argument between the two of us, resulting in our separation. He was my first love, so occasionally, I would think back on him late at night.

I emerged from the hallway and into the living room. Here, due to the fact that I had chosen to not pull the curtains over at the sliding glass door that led out to the balcony, the living room was illuminated by the moonlight as well as the bright lights of the city. I smiled as I gazed out the glass door and at the beautiful nighttime view of Palisia. This view was one of the reasons why I chose to buy this house.

Then, in the corner of my vision, I noticed the outline of a person sitting on the couch. I cautiously took a step towards the couch, careful to not make a noise to alert whoever it was of my presence. However, once I was closer to him and the clouds parted to allow more of the celestial lights to enter through the glass door, I discovered that the person who was sitting there was my nephew. He sat there motionlessly, eyes staring blankly at the coffee table as he kept his head low. He was in a trance of melancholy as he sat there, and that side-view of his face reminded me greatly of his father.

Alevian's hair was somewhat damp and wet, leading me to believe that he had probably been home for a while now and had showered. However, what troubled me was why he was seated in the living room in such a state of depression. In his dry eyes, I could not see a glimmer of light, but that might be because of the fact that it was so late and he was extremely fatigued and lethargic. If so, then why wasn't he sleeping peacefully in his bedroom?

I slowly walked closer to him, allowing the moonlight to spray onto my legs. He stirred and turned his head slightly in my direction. However, he returned his gaze to where it was originally soon after and remained mute.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. "Why aren't you in bed?"

"Loriana..." he whispered my name.

Silence ensued as I stood there and stared at him in silence while he remained mute and kept his head down. The way he was acting worried me for it was somewhat similar to how my step-brother had acted a few days before his suicide. I couldn't help myself but marvel at how similar Alevian was to his father. They're facial features were both quite handsome, although I would say Alevian's was even better looking than his father's since he had inherited the genes of that whore of a woman in his mother.

Slowly, he got up from the couch and walked over to me. He then stood before me in silence as his eyes stared blankly at me. I remained silent as time continued to flow and merely observed him.

He was taller than me now. In fact, he's been taller than me for quite some time now. In addition, his body was also sturdier than before. It was only recently that I had realized that the young child I had taken in was now a full grown adult.

In Alevian's eyes, I could sense that he was lost in melancholy. I wasn't sure what it was that led to his depression, but I worried for him. I was extremely concerned upon seeing that look of silent confusion in his eyes that I yearned to be able to help and drag him out of that murky abyss.

Then, he embraced me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. There were no tears flowing from his eyes, but I was certain that he was weeping. I was surprised by this sudden gesture for love and care, but I brought my hands around him as well. I then brought my right hand up to the back of his head and gently stroked his soft, black hair, spoiling him with my love.

"It's alright now," I gently whispered into his ears.

"..." He remained silent, but I knew he had heard me by that gentle nod of his head. "Can we be like this for a bit longer?" He then pleaded, surprising me once again since this was the first time he had actively sought out my care.

"Of course," I smiled as I whispered into his ear.

Our embrace continued, and while it lasted, I was greeted by a nostalgic but alien warmth from his body. This was a warmth that I had experienced when I was younger. This was similar to the warmth that accompanied my step-brother's embrace.

I felt my gaze soften as a spell of drowsiness was cast on me once again. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his embrace. With this embrace, I felt like I can fall asleep anytime and anywhere. Unlike in my step-brother's embrace where I felt protected, in this embrace, I was the one that's granting the security. I was the one that's protecting this weak and lonely boy.

"Let's sleep together tonight," I whispered into his ear.