Project: Socialize

After her counseling, I accepted her inevitable death. I accepted the fact that within a year, Luna will die. I initially felt a tormenting pain weighing me down in my heart, but now... that anguish has disappeared. In its place was a warm feeling, one of acceptance and appreciation. I felt as if I was able to see life from a different perspective outside of my prison cell. It was Luna that freed me from my fetters and into this world.

After that lunch period on the rooftop of our school, I promised her that I will remain happy for her and for myself. It was a promise of companionship, one that will involve me trying my best to spend time with her and leave behind no regrets. I hoped that by doing so and carving her image into my soul, I would be able to see her off with a smile during her funeral. Therefore, I slowly started to change.

Everyday of that week, I anticipated for lunch, knowing that if I were to make my way to the rooftops, she'll be waiting for me there with that lovely smile and a meal. We'll be alone, just the two of us, and although we never did anything extremely out of the ordinary, it is this simple daily life that I believe is the most memorable. There's no need for special occasions, all that I needed to remember her was that smile of hers and the warmth of her body as we sat next to each other in our usual spot at the rooftop.

After school, Luna would occasionally come by and visit our club. Because of this, she slowly started becoming close with the other members of the club, notably Irina. Since we didn't have anything to do for our club, they would leave after school and spend some time together while also dragging Muria along. On the next day, everybody would go together to regular entertainment spots for high school students such as karaoke or a movie theater.

Because of this meaningful week, I slowly changed. I realized that I no longer felt as lonely as before, and it would appear that my behavior also changed since I would occasionally hear remarks from my classmates as they whispered among themselves. For example, at the beginning of lunch today, as I placed my textbook and notebooks back into my school bag, I heard two girls whisper nearby.

"Is it just me but is Alevian smiling a bit more recently?" one would whisper to the other.

"I think you're right," her friend would answer. "What should I do? His face is totally my type."

I didn't get the chance to hear the remainder of their conversation because I was in a hurry to my destination. Since lunch was only about an hour long, I wanted to maximize the time I have with Luna. Therefore, at the beginning of every lunch, I would immediately head to the rooftops and avoid making conversation with others just so I could get there a few seconds earlier.

We sat down in our usual spot and took out our lunch. I had started bringing my own lunch since it was kind of embarrassing always eating Luna's. Therefore, the two of us ate in silence and had a casual conversation as we stared at the blue sky overhead and feel the cool wind that autumn brought with it.

"Alevian," she said while leaning against me after we had finished eating. "Let's go to the mall after school today."

"Not even gonna ask if I have time?" I sighed.

"You don't have any plans, right?" she looked over at me and smiled. "And if you do, cancel it. You should be prioritizing spending time with me, someone who's dying soon."

"That voice and attitude of yours sure doesn't seem like it belongs to someone who's gonna die soon," I chuckled. "Fine. I'll go with you."

"Great!" she smiled and then proceeded to lean her head on my shoulder.

Gestures like these were quite common among us, but I wouldn't say that we were in a special relationship. Rather, it was something that's slightly above friends... or are we even friends? That I do not know. All I know is that I'm the only person at school that knows of her fate and acted as a source of solace for her during the school day.

"Let's meet up at the front gates," she said as she relaxed herself and closed her eyes while resting against me. "You better not be late," she whispered with a smile on her face.

"I won't," I responded. "If I were to be late, I won't hear the end of it from you."

"Yeah," Luna laughed. "Even after I die, I'll haunt you and remind you of it."

"You're gonna haunt me, huh?" I chuckled at the thought of Luna's ghost just following me around as I continued with my daily lives.

"Yeah," Luna said as she gazed at the school in a dreamy manner. Her voice was one of the utmost softness and gentleness. "Did you know," she started saying once again after a brief pause, "that the human soul will automatically be attracted to souls that it holds an affinity for."

"Hm?"

"The soul will basically have a natural tendency to want to be around other souls that it likes," she explained. "It can either be love or friendship. That's why people are able to become lovers or friends. The soul itself is naturally forcing people together."

"Sound's pretty reasonable."

"I think my soul is attracted to yours," she chuckled.

"That should help you find me after you die," I said in a joking manner.

"Yeah," Luna whispered. "It's also helped me find you when I'm alive."

Our conversation ended there, and for the remainder of the lunch break we simply sat there with Luna resting on my body. We didn't need words to convey the single most important thing in this relationship of ours. All we needed was to feel the warmth of the other's body and hear their calm and relaxed breathing to convey to each other the single most important message for us: "I'm here." All we needed was to feel the other's company, knowing that by doing so, I'm carving her into my memories and she's able to spend her last months in this world without being alone.

The remainder of the school day went by slowly due to my anticipation for what was planned after school. My heart pounded in my chest, making me unable to focus my attention for the classes after lunch. One of them was Emilia's history lecture, but she didn't seem to mind my lack of attention. She remained silent about my situation, but it was the new transfer student that bothered me during the break period after her class.

"Alevian, not paying attention in class again?" the boy would say as he knelt down before my desk while holding onto my table with his hands as support. "That's kinda disrespectful to my cousin, you know?"

This boy, Noah Raphael Mildran, was the "cousin" Emilia had warned me about last week. Like Emilia, Noah was also an angel sent by God. However, instead of monitoring me, he's more like an intern learning the ways of an angel. Therefore, he mostly observed me and never had much of an influence on my life except in the mortal way. He had joined my club earlier this week, and with his affable attitude, became friends quickly with Loyd and Zaksus. He was also pretty good around girls, often displaying a dazzling smile to girls that he talked with and netting numerous blushes and admiring gazes. In other words... he's the type that I'm bad at dealing with.

He was the type that's surrounded by girls and never feeling any different from his usual self. However, he never drew the hatred of boys since he was good at cracking the occasional dirty jokes. Come to think of it, almost everything he said was in that direction. He scales down the level of pervertedness around girls, but around guys and guys only, his mouth seemed to have no filter.

For example, on Wednesday when all the girls in our club had left to spend time together, he struck up a conversation with us easily.

"Are you guys still virgins?" he said out of nowhere while reading a comic magazine.

"Huh?" Loyd blushed at the sudden inquisition on their sexual lives.

"What's your answer?" Noah tossed the comic magazine on the rectangular table and leaned forward in his chair.

"N-no," Loyd said in a quiet voice as if embarrassed.

"I'm not one either," Zaksus added proudly.

I knew they weren't already. I've seen them both enter hotel rooms with three girls... Those damn traitors.

"When's your first time?" Noah would then ask. On his face was an amused expression as he smiled.

"For me," Zaksus frowned as he looked back in his memory.

That party last Sunday night, I finished in my mind for him but his answer immediately proved me wrong.

"Probably second year of middle school," Zaksus said with a smile as if it wasn't a big deal at all.

"What about you?" Noah then asked Loyd.

"T-third year of middle school," Loyd sighed and answered. He seemed to have gave in to their pressure and started speaking normally now. "How bout you?"

"First year of high school," Noah answered.

Quit lying, I thought as I took a drink of water from my water bottle. You've only been in this world for a few days.

"I'm being serious," Noah said as he looked into my eye as if he knew what I was thinking. "I was at a different school before this one."

"So I guess we've all lost our V card," Zaksus laughed. "Besides, still being a virgin in high school is kinda sad."

"Maybe," Loyd laughed.

"I wouldn't say we're all non virgins," Noah slyly smiled as he looked in my direction. "We got one boy that hasn't said anything."

"What?" I blushed as they all looked towards me with anticipating gazes.

"When did you lose your virginity?" Noah asked.

"..." I remained silent.

"For real?!" Zaksus exclaimed. "I thought you've lost it already to either Muria or Irina."

"Why would you think that?" I responded, blushing in embarrassment for being the only pure and innocent boy out of them all.

"Well," Zaksus crossed his arms as he started to think. "I mean the way you interacted with them. I thought you were dating one of the two."

"It's no use, Zaksus," Noah laughed. "He wouldn't know how to do it even given the chance."

The above was the conversation we had on Wednesday. It was also my shaming day... I was humiliated that day by an interning angel, a boy who's a year younger, and a friend that I've known since elementary school.

I sighed as the boy continued his casual annoyance. However, I knew that he was simply being playful. But even then, I want to punch him in his face.

"Something on your mind?" Loyd asked as he turned around in his seat.

As he initiated the conversation, Muria and Irina both glanced over at us as they were curious to find out as well.

"No," I responded. "I'm not going to the club after school today."

"You got plans after school?" Loyd frowned. "Alright then." He then leaned over and brought his hand into his school bag before he produced a wrapped box from inside it. "I was gonna give it to you after school, but since you're not going to the club, happy birthday." He handed me the small box that was wrapped in a gift wrapping.

"T-thanks," I said as I accepted the gift and stared at it.

"I-it's your birthday today?" Irina appeared shocked by that fact. "You never told us!"

"You never asked..." I muttered as I placed Loyd's gift into my school bag.

"Well..." Irina blushed as she looked away and stared at her lap.

"How old will you be?" Noah then asked.

"Seventeen," I answered.

"Seventeen and still a virgin, haha."

I gave him an annoyed death stare and sighed as I allowed it to pass without giving it any further thought. He's not a bad person, but it's just what he says...

"V-virgin," Irina blushed as she heard that term being used on me. Nearby, Muria had a calm expression on her face, but it would appear that she's deep in thought about something.

"So what're you doing after school?" Noah then asked with a scheming smile on his face.

"L-Luna asked me to go to the mall with her," I answered while maintaining a straight face.

My answer drew a silent gasp from Irina, and I discovered that Muria was looking over in my direction as if she was surprised.

"Why would she ask someone with such a bad sense in things?" Muria shook her head and sighed.

"I don't know," I responded.

"Alevian," I heard Noah say in a soft voice as he tried to attract my attention. I looked down and at his face since he was still squatting on the ground while using my table as a support. He then gave me a thumbs up and smiled. "Make sure to use protection."